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What qualities (personality-wise) in a woman attract you the most?

Are emotional, expressive women a turn on or off?
The biggest turn-ons are among others: The ability to create a situation where I can express my humour, optimism, openness, calmness, caring nature, easy to take initiative, trustworthiness (obviously, but a strong caliber), responsibility, patience, feminity (someone who cares about themselves to some extent - not excessively). Not sure if one person can have all of that, but it'd be awesome :laughing:

The major turn-offs for me are women who are haughty, self-centered or too reserved. It seems like even while I understand others with the same qualities as myself, I seem to prefer people with other strengths to complement my own. I don't think I could live well with a strongly extroverted person and very talkative person (not a bad thing, but it is if they don't know when to stay quiet :happy:), but that's just about it.

I guess that means something like an I(/low E)xFP
 

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I think Marlborored & Flipit made some excellent points! I think one needs patience to get to know/understand an ISTJ! Trust to me is vital, I'm tired of people deceiving me, contorting the facts and blatantly lying. I very much like feminity, self-respect, intelligence, wisdom and humour - great things to have which I find very attractive. Being easy to talk to sounds great (self-evident perhaps? But anyway).

Similar somewhat to what has already been posted previously, I dislike/hate vanity, self-centredness, hypocrisy, arrogance, lack of reasoning (not to say that one has to have an ultra logical brain) and so on. Don't wish to sounds too cynical lol.

In terms of emotional and expressive women being a turn on or off, well....hmmm... It would depend on how 'manageable' it is lol. If the hypothetical person was to lose it over something trivial, like the way in which you drive when it is safe enough, then I might find that difficult to endure. Expressive on the other hand I think I could happily live with. Expressive in the sense of being artistic and/or needing/wanting very much to articulate what is on one's mind sounds great to me. I am always curious to know what concerns someone that I care about has, especially if they are concerned about something that I am doing. In that instance at least, I could explain why I do something, or better still in their eyes (lol) change what I am doing!
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thank you, Marcus.

I love reading these responses.

Re emotional, I don't mean hysterical or irrational. Rather, for example crying when deeply moved by something poignant.
 

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Thank you, Marcus.

I love reading these responses.

Re emotional, I don't mean hysterical or irrational. Rather, for example crying when deeply moved by something poignant.
Crying when deeply moved by something poignant is something I could live with lol. Being an ISTJ, I would probably have come prepared with some tissues lol. :tongue:
I should probably add that some ISTJ's would probably cry or get teary by something they were moved by. ISTJ's do have intense feelings, they just seldom surface openly.
 

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What qualities (personality-wise) in a woman attract you the most?

Are emotional, expressive women a turn on or off?
Hi joyandblues

what makes you interested in ISTJ men and their preferences?
i think i kind of like their vibe, but i am uncertain, so i thought to ask you what brings you to ask this question?

do you know an ISTJ male? do you like them? are they good for INFJs?
 

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Hi joyandblues

what makes you interested in ISTJ men and their preferences?
i think i kind of like their vibe, but i am uncertain, so i thought to ask you what brings you to ask this question?

do you know an ISTJ male? do you like them? are they good for INFJs?
There seems to be a small group of us from various other types who are obsessed with the mystery of this hard-to-read type. :laughing::laughing:
 

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Hmmm! What am I attracted to?

Well, I am very much attracted to the feminine aspects. By that, I mean that I don't want a tom boy. I'm already male enough for the both of us! haha. Having said that, though, if the occasion calls for it, she shouldn't be afraid to get dirty, go camping, all that stuff. She should be intellectual. I get so bored if I can't connect on the intellectual level. I guess I see it in a three stage plan. If you can't connect with me intellectually, all you're going to get is the physical side of me. You have to get through the first two to get to the much more difficult emotional side.

I can distinctly remember talking to an INTJ for hours about Chemistry, math, science, religion, politics, all that. I ended up just grabbing and kissing her after awhile. Being on my intellectual level is incredibly sexy for me.

That all being said, I have dated some INFJ's and loved them. They are different enough from me that I am attracted, and similar enough that we don't bash heads. They all were 'trained T's', by which I mean Science students whom were trained as rationals. I loved that they could switch from T to F. In intellectual contexts, the T is the sexy one. But, in love and sexuality, the F is almost characteristic of the feminine side. I think I need that F in my life to be complete.

I guess all I can say is don't be afraid to be feminine around me. As much as drama and emotional stuff tends to annoy me, I find it fascinating. You want me to be fascinated by you. =P

Hope that helps.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Hi joyandblues

what makes you interested in ISTJ men and their preferences?
i think i kind of like their vibe, but i am uncertain, so i thought to ask you what brings you to ask this question?

do you know an ISTJ male? do you like them? are they good for INFJs?
I don't have a general preference for ISTJs (probably because I am not a fan of aloofness and emotional containment and repression). Rather, I'm interested in a specific ISTJ man. Not because he's an ISTJ, but because there's a lot of chemistry there for me. Though I am somewhat tomboyish in my dress, he makes me feel very fem, which is a major turn on. And he is a mystery to me personality-wise, which fuels the attraction. Also, I'm attracted to brainy men. I like someone smart but in their body. A total head type has no sensuality.

As an INFJ, I intuit various things about him, but I don't accept my intuitions as fact. So I like to get feedback from ISTJs to understand where this man might be coming from.

I don't know if they're good or bad for INFJs. I think there are challenges in all relationships. I think it's a matter of what you can accept, and which qualities you value most.
 

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I don't have a general preference for ISTJs (probably because I am not a fan of aloofness and emotional containment and repression). Rather, I'm interested in a specific ISTJ man. Not because he's an ISTJ, but because there's a lot of chemistry there for me. Though I am somewhat tomboyish in my dress, he makes me feel very fem, which is a major turn on. And he is a mystery to me personality-wise, which fuels the attraction. Also, I'm attracted to brainy men. I like someone smart but in their body. A total head type has no sensuality.

As an INFJ, I intuit various things about him, but I don't accept my intuitions as fact. So I like to get feedback from ISTJs to understand where this man might be coming from.

I don't know if they're good or bad for INFJs. I think there are challenges in all relationships. I think it's a matter of what you can accept, and which qualities you value most.
You are practically quoting my situation. I've also never looked at this type as interesting before a recent encounter.
 

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that's a great response, but m wondering if any istjs are repulsed by the f side...?
Repulsed by the F side. Well, that really depends on a lot of things. My one F friend, she is super emotional in a negative way. She REFUSES to use logic in her relationships. Currently she's staying in a crappy relationship because he makes her 'feel' so great when they are together. She'd rather put up with being basically ignored for two weeks, have one weekend of fun, then wash rinse repeat. It drives me up the wall. She's also an emotional roller-coaster. One second she'll be all happy and perky, then the next she'll be sad and almost look like she is going to cry. This drives me up the wall. I have absolutely no idea what she is going through, and am totally blown away by it.

Having said that, I know some F's that are awesome! They have this amazing warm and fuzzy 'aura' to them. They can sense when I am pissed off, or happy, or whatever. I like these aspects of it. I like that they are open with their emotions, and are in tune with the emotions of others. I am useless at it, so it's a good balance.

It also has a lot to do with my stress levels, and how I am feeling at the time. If I am in a bad mood, or stressed out, I really don't have the patience to deal with an F. It's draining for me. When I am pissed off, I can't handle the emotional decision making. It ceases to be charming, mysterious, and fascinating.

I hope that that helps at least give you a glimpse into it, but I doubt it answered your question.
 

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I think it might be a good thing to break down by age in such a thread. As for myself *I am older than a lot of the people who post here, and I started out more compelled by opposite (I married mine) and with time and maturity have gravitated to something more similar to me.

Just saying that should be considered as a lot of people change their outlook as time goes by.
 
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