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ISTJ the Guys almost every woman wants

[ISTJ] 
13K views 48 replies 21 participants last post by  pinkrasputin 
#1 ·
Many girls would say they look for the following qualities in a guy. (These are ISTJ ones as well)

* Honor their commitments
* Take their relationship roles very seriously
* Usually able to communicate what's on their minds with precision
* Good listeners
* Extremely good (albeit conservative) with money
* Able to take constructive criticism well
* Able to tolerate conflict situations without emotional upheaval
* Able to dole out punishment or criticism when called for
* And we have goals we will meet.

So every girl I have ever talked with or comforted when she was upset has been looking for a guy just like this loyal to the end.

So my question is if you are a ISTJ male and on a scale of 1-10 (1 being some 450lb hick and a 10 being Brad PItt) how is it that ISTJ's that are 6-10 have such a hard time finding women?
 
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#4 ·
when someone states what she is looking for, she is most directly saying what she wants to be perceived as looking for.
I think this alone sums it up. I think a lot of people my age (I'm 19) don't actually know what they want, and are basing their list of wants on things that they are told are desireable.
 
#5 ·
To answer the OP's question, I'd be about a 6.5. I'm somewhat thin and I look like a nerd (pimples and all). For me, I just don't care right now. Being in a relationship in not on high priority right now. If it happens, it happens. I do agree that I can be shy/awkward towards women, but that's probably something common in ISTJ's. Quite a few other people my age are in the same boat as me where it's just high priority, so I can relate.
 
#6 ·
News flash: Every woman is different! I'd like to point out that I highly doubt the girls that you asked even knew what they REALLY wanted. They were just spouting off some things they think might kind-of be cool to have in a mate. =P

It's pretty obvious that you are into a young lady, and that she is crying about another guy. That sucks, dude. It really does. I feel for you.

The only thing you can do is go out into public, and smile at the next beautiful young woman you find. If she smiles back, go and say hello! Work on it. It's a skill. Skills can be learned.
 
#11 ·
Almost. I agree you have some serious goods. It needs some adjusting, however. "Punishment"? *Shivers* I don't believe in punishment, discipline is healthier and hopefully it's reserved for your children and not your SO.

So I've updated the list:

* Honor their commitments
* Take their relationship roles very seriously
* Usually able to communicate what's on their minds
* Good listeners
* Extremely good (albeit conservative) with money
* Able to take constructive criticism well
* Able to tolerate conflict situations without emotional upheaval
* And we have goals we will meet
* Patient
* Open minded
* Works on himself/has empathy
* Won't try to change me


I'm not sure if ISTJs are big on the last 4?
 
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#13 ·
Most women aren't ready to settle down until their late 20s at the earliest. Until this point, they "want to have fun", which means they want to bang every other attractive guy they can. Women "say" they want (insert list of ISTJ characteristics here), but in reality, they really don't because they aren't attractive characteristics.

In the end, ISTJs are great providers, just not great lovers. I'm willing to bet that many ISTJ married men eventually get cheated on because of our personality (boring, safe, not spontaneous, etc).

*Disclaimer*

Before you ladies get your panties in a bunch, I said MOST. Just because you and your 2 friends aren't raging sluts, doesn't mean 52% of woman aged 18-30 aren't.
 
#14 ·
Most women aren't ready to settle down until their late 20s at the earliest. Until this point, they "want to have fun", which means they want to bang every other attractive guy they can. Women "say" they want (insert list of ISTJ characteristics here), but in reality, they really don't because they aren't attractive characteristics.

In the end, ISTJs are great providers, just not great lovers. I'm willing to bet that many ISTJ married men eventually get cheated on because of our personality (boring, safe, not spontaneous, etc).

*Disclaimer*

Before you ladies get your panties in a bunch, I said MOST. Just because you and your 2 friends aren't raging sluts, doesn't mean 52% of woman aged 18-30 aren't.
...

:sad:
 
#16 ·
Well to the OP: Let me ask you this, because this is one of the main issues I've had with ISTJ men, they are sex craved. When I have to snap my fingers in your face and say, "Hello my eyes are up here thank you", after everything I say, I quickly lose patience. I'm not sure if you are that way or not, and I really think it's...well are ISTJ's known to be a little insecure? If they are then it would kind of make sense. Trying to define themselves with their sexual prowess in order to feel accepted by a mate. Not sure. But I will warn you of this (not sure of other INTJ women), but if I like you, I like you. That in itself is one hell of a compliment. I don't want you for what you can do in the bedroom, even if that is a plus it's beside the point. You trying to impress me, or whatever, by buttering up how beautiful my body is, and not being able to focus on what I say because of it, is not going to turn me on, or keep me interested in you, it's going to highly annoy me, and I'll cut you lose before you even have the chance to prove yourself.
 
#27 ·
IF I was single and going to actively look for someone based on type, I could see myself considering the ISTJ, they do have a lot of qualities I appreciate and admire and *need* in my life. I've always gotten along with the ISTJs I know IRL...but preferably they'd have a strong F side. That's the biggest (and really only) problem I have with my ISTP. I feel like I can be so much closer to someone if they are aware of their emotions and are willing to share them with me at least sometimes.
 
#30 ·
*after shes finished having her fun with an estp.
 
#33 ·
I'd think that IxTx's in general have a hard time finding boyfriends/girlfriends. We have that independent vibe that tells everyone around us that we aren't looking, don't need, or don't want anyone else involved in our lives. And with a lot of women, especially the ones that really are looking for a boyfriend, want someone that's willing to open up to them. They're not looking for someone whom will make them feel that they're not really needed and/or are just getting in the way outside of the bedroom.
 
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