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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Is that an ISTJ thing?

The ISTJs I've known all seem to do this.

There's one or two things that they grab onto and it's all about that for years.

Sometimes that concept / pet name, whatever, finds its way into every conversation. Perhaps pet name isn't a good example, because many other types use this too. To me it's like they've taken the most insignificant thing about me and made it a daily event.

What say you?
 

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I don't know if it's an ISTJ thing, but I know what you're talking about and I do this.

I think of it as a comedian's callback.

From Wikipedia:
A callback, in terms of comedy, is a joke which refers to one previously told in the set. The second joke is often presented in a different context than the one which was used in the initial joke. Callbacks are usually used at or near the end of a set, as the aim is to create the biggest laugh at the end of a comic set. The main principle behind the callback is to make the audience feel a sense of familiarity with the subject matter, as well as with the comedian. It helps to create audience rapport. When the second joke is told, it induces a feeling similar to that of being told a personal or in-joke.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Callback_(comedy)
Example being at work where me (ISTJ), an INTJ, and an INTP are discussing, and the INTP disagrees. I might comment that his P is showing, since the other two of us have J. Another would be a food that someone dislikes, a phobia, or something else that they have an opinion on and using it as a callback. Either to pretend I forgot their take on it, or to outright get under their skin. It's usually something no other person in their life would remember or make a deal out of.

With my nephews I'll call them by their middle names. At work a few weeks ago we shared middle names, and now some I will occassionally call by their middle name. Or pet name, or other description that makes them unique to me and makes an impression on them.

For the Italian I'll make a deal out of pasta being for lunch. And the Italian has ranted before for a half hour on the proper Italian way to go from raw pasta to sauce to meal on the plate.

For the Catholic, since I'm Protestant, I'll make a deal out of priests not being married. (As the Bible says he is to be married.)

tl;dr Using Si to bring up things you remember that no one else will and when there's an opening inserting them into the conversation.
 

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Sometimes that concept / pet name, whatever, finds its way into every conversation. Perhaps pet name isn't a good example, because many other types use this too. To me it's like they've taken the most insignificant thing about me and made it a daily event.
Maybe he's teasing you.....:tongue:
 

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I know what "what say you" means, it is the rest I am wondering about.
Exactly.

Maybe he's teasing you.....:tongue:
IF .... @HonestAndTrue has interpreted the intent of the OP, then this ^^ comment is most likely to be true for me. Unless the individual in question has really made an impression with their behavior(s), at which point they may become something like "that crazy <insert individual's name> chick," in my mind ... not something I share with them.

But this last is not just ISTJs - I know of several types (I, E, N, S, T, J, and P (never seen an F)) that do this.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Maybe he's teasing you.....:tongue:
It is meant as a tease by ISTJs, I just don't really get it. I thought teasing was at least partially about the element of surprise. It's like bang, bang, bang, haven't we done this already?

The only thing I can think of is that the ISTJ is wanting to create some solid ground with the INTP, who generally prefers Ne or novelty and originality over anything repeated. The ISTJ generally preferring tradition and reliability.

This describes it very well:

Ista, did you never create a thread in the Intro forum? :shocked:

I may remember that for years. :laughing:

Ista, she never says hello. :dry:

The reaction this gets is either a blank stare, or brain says "Runnnnnnn!" Maybe I've been treating ISTJs unfairly by running away from them when this happens. I know I've insulted one or two, but I don't understand why someone would keep something up that is clearly not being well received.

Or - the same question over and over about my plans. If I had plans and wanted to tell you, you'd have received a different response to "I don't know" the last ten times you asked. That is one extreme ISTJ, however there is a similar theme here, at least from an NT perspective.

At least this ISTJ seems to ask questions without wanting to know the answers.

I would like to understand, and to know if there is a tactful way to get it to stop so I don't wound the ISTJ in question.
 

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@Ista

In a way it is tradition and reliability, but it also is using Ne as means to tease with the purpose of having an element of surprise. Not surprise in that you already know that eventually it will reappear. But surprise when you don't see it yet and are waiting for it to reappear. I'll admit that when it does reappear it can be boring. And we can probably get better at spacing it out over days, weeks, and if we're good even months between reappearances. But it's so enjoyable for us to bring it back every opportunity we can get.

I guess it depends on what you mean by, "not being well received." If it's getting a reaction generally that's well received. If it begins to annoy the hell out of you, that is exceptionally well received. But yes, if you run away and leave us, then it's not been well received.

We Si-doms, if this is accurate, we love our comparisons. What are your plans? Having a good day? Learn anything new? And more on the list.

I can't speak for that specific ISTJ, but questions for me are like fishing. I'm not interested in everything I catch as I can't keep everything I catch.

What is the reason you want it to stop? If it's a good reason we may stop. If it's a bad reason it may result in double the frequency.
 

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Are you friends with the same ISTJ as I am? Because you've described her perfectly. I only came over to the ISTJ board to find out about other ISTJs with the intent of making my own thread, and you've made one for me. Marvellous!
She does a) the 'teasing' thing and b) the asking about plans/asking questions without wanting answers thing.

Worse still is that there is an extention of a) which makes me feel really frustrated - she will normally only tease me in front of people who I know she views as intellectual/intelligent. And the things she teases me about in wider social circles will always be inside jokey things between my close friendship group which sound pathetic taken out of context ie. my 'extreme love' for certain dodgy politicians or cheesy pop singers. Because I'm an extremely reserved person who takes a long time to react to things in social situtations, I have no chance to say 'hey, stop. You're not giving other people an accurate representation of who I am as a person'. She has said that she gets jealous easily, and using that little nugget of knowledge I figure that the reason she teases me in front of stereotypically smart people is because she wants to be seen as the second most intellectual person in the group of people at that time, pushing me down below her standard.

As for b), this happens all the time. Most recently, she said "Are you wanting to cross the road?". "No - I would have said. Why, are you?". "No, but you always want to cross the road. Are you wanting to?" "No. I'm fine with going this way, and it's easier for you." "I was just asking because you always complain about this way." "Eh? I've never complained. I don't want to cross the road. I would have said if I did." "Well, you do always want to cross the road!" "FINE. LET'S CROSS THE DAMN ROAD." "Oh for goodness sake, now the others will think we're stalking them! *Proceeds to tell friends who crossed the road that I'm the reason we're stalking them*". WOAH. WOAH NOW HOLD UP. Firstly, you are assuming what I'm thinking, and you are assuming incorrectly. Secondly, you asked, and when I finally gave in with an answer that you were begging to know YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT? Why ask in the first place?! Thirdly, again with the whole making me seem stupid to others thing - I did not want to stalk the friends in front, so why make it seem like that? What do you gain other than making me appear less of a person to others?:sad:
Also, sometimes I'll say a statement ie. "The snows all slushy, yuck." and she'll give an explanation I haven't asked for ie. "It's because of the mud underneath, and people have walked on it." What? I KNEW THAT. STOP TRYING TO BELITTLE ME PLEASE. :bored:

I am great friends with said ISTJ, but often the little quirks above really get to me in a way which no other friend has ever managed. I would never optionally drop her as a friend and I think this is why she feels so secure about 'teasing' me - because it won't end up decimating our friendship. But still, especially recently, I'm getting to be really frustrated as I feel I can't get to know other people when she's around because ultimately she'll find something to openly degrade me about.
I have told her about this, a few years ago when she'd tease me about my constant blushing (a psychological problem which I couldn't help). She stopped for a while. And then restarted. It was enough pain for me to open up the first time around, so I don't want to redo the whole thing, and also I'm far to keen on keeping conflict between friends and family as minimal as possible to risk an argument.
 
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It is meant as a tease by ISTJs, I just don't really get it. I thought teasing was at least partially about the element of surprise. It's like bang, bang, bang, haven't we done this already?
Don't confuse teasing with teaser; there is no requisite element of surprise for teasing.

Are you friends with the same ISTJ as I am? Because you've described her perfectly. I only came over to the ISTJ board to find out about other ISTJs with the intent of making my own thread, and you've made one for me. Marvellous!
She does a) the 'teasing' thing and b) the asking about plans/asking questions without wanting answers thing.
We know from what has been shared that these individuals are prosaic, and they speak of their friends in a denigrating manner. These are not traits of ISTJs, but of immature and inconsiderate people,

Based upon what you've shared of your observations of these individuals, the only question I have is why are you attempting to save this relationship? It appears obvious that they do not appreciate you ... so I am clueless as to your motivation.
 
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Don't confuse teasing with teaser; there is no requisite element of surprise for teasing.

We know from what has been shared that these individuals are prosaic, and they speak of their friends in a denigrating manner. These are not traits of ISTJs, but of immature and inconsiderate people,

Based upon what you've shared of your observations of these individuals, the only question I have is why are you attempting to save this relationship? It appears obvious that they do not appreciate you ... so I am clueless as to your motivation.

Yea, I only tease those I'm comfortable with and like. If I don't like someone, I won't talk with them (or be as curt as possible while being polite if i'm forced to interact with them).

Oh, and if I find out that a certain topic really bothers them (not the playful kind of bother) but truly bothers them.... That topic will be completely closed and never brought up. Be serious if something bothers you though, don't hint at it or be smiling, laughing or groaning, etc. A quick "in all seriousness, this topic kinda bothers me and I would appreciate it if you didn't bring it up" in private would work with me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Yea, I only tease those I'm comfortable with and like. If I don't like someone, I won't talk with them (or be as curt as possible while being polite if i'm forced to interact with them).

Oh, and if I find out that a certain topic really bothers them (not the playful kind of bother) but truly bothers them.... That topic will be completely closed and never brought up. Be serious if something bothers you though, don't hint at it or be smiling, laughing or groaning, etc. A quick "in all seriousness, this topic kinda bothers me and I would appreciate it if you didn't bring it up" in private would work with me.
I don't understand why ISTJs don't take hints of this nature? Or when people don't react to something that is said repeatedly, then surely this means they don't like the thing?

I told the ISTJ directly. The ISTJ, just like the other ISTJs I've known, went from lots of attention to silence. :frustrating:
 
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I don't understand why ISTJs don't take hints of this nature? Or when people don't react to something that is said repeatedly, then surely this means they don't like the thing?

I told the ISTJ directly. The ISTJ, just like the other ISTJs I've known, went from lots of attention to silence. :frustrating:
As sequential, linear thinkers, we are focused on facts. Hints are just that - not a fact. So come right out and say it - but don't be ugly about it.

We go silent due to introspection. We usually feel badly that we've hurt or irritated someone and we need time to process it. However, if the teasing is not teasing, but is sniping due to past issues with the person, then we'll either withdraw from the relationship, or if we feel wronged, then we'll go silent to mull over our position before letting our feelings be known.
 
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