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Hi,

I’m a new ISTJ on the forum.
I would like to discuss OCDs (Obsessive Compulsory Disorders) with ISTJs and those who have been affected by them.
My OCD is the household. I am a very clean, tidy and organised person. Whenever I am stressed I turn to cleaning or tidying something in the house. Part of it is also that I need to have all the food and other essentials stocked up all the time so my routine won’t get upset. I have found myself acting out at my wife because of it. For example, last night I yelled at her for drinking too much milk. I was afraid, that we’d run out of milk before breakfast and that I’d have to drink my coffee without milk.
Basically, I usually can’t wait for a chore to be done by my wife and every way she does it is never good enough for me.
Also, doing the chore doesn’t really give me any pleasure. I like the end result, everything being clean and tidy. But I just do it out of a sense of duty like a robot.
What are your OCDs and how do you cope with them?
 

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First of all welcome to the forum.
I used to hold the entire world to my standard and the stress caused some cardiac health issues. In time I was on bp meds and beta blockers, (which lowered my quality of life), so I decided to change some things about myself. The most effective thing I did was anger management: using basic CBT techniques I changed some of the lesser patterns and by proxy, my reactions. I still at times view some things people "are doing the wrong way" with contempt, but I wait and respond to outcomes only.
 

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Welcome, Maptrain. I'm not sure that OCD is mainly found in ISTJs, but we are known for being extremely organized. I'm of the belief that "everything has its place." I hate clutter as it drives me up the wall. I've only known one hoarder in my lifetime and as cold as it may sound, I had to end our friendship because she was in complete denial about her illness. My home does tend to get messy at times, but I can usually let it go for a few days before I start cleaning it up.

As for dirty dishes in the sink, as long as they are done by the end of the day, I'm fine with it.
 

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@maptrain, I used to have it bad. I worried obsessively:

Did I lock the door when I left the house, or did I just think that I locked it?
Is my zipper zipped up, or do I just think it is?
Did I set the alarm clock, or did I just think I did?
Did I soak my contact lenses in solution properly, or did I just think I did?
Did I turn off the stove, or did I just think I did?

Therapy helped; also some lifestyle changes. Lowering the stakes helps too, and considering what the worst-case scenario would be.

I’ve had LASIK surgery, so no contacts anymore. I bought a second alarm clock and set two of them instead of one (batteries only! No electric ones!) I married a man who’s at home more than I am, and that solved the did-I-lock-the-door obsession (this solution, admittedly, will not work for many – and I didn’t marry him for that reason!) Wearing long shirts or sweaters covers the zipper area whether it’s zipped up or not.

Intellectually, I always knew that I did it right. But I didn’t trust myself or my senses.

The stove one still gets me sometimes, and the door lock. But not as bad as before. I’m learning to trust myself.

I never had the cleanliness obsession, but if I had, at least my place would look better than it does. I had a roommate in college (NT) who had a crippling fear that something terrible would happen if she didn’t exercise for more than one hour every day. Consequently, she had a great body and was a fantastic tennis player. I didn’t get anything out of my obsessions.

tl;dr: I know it’s hard, and I sympathize with you. We so want to do the “right thing”…
 

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I am very selective with what things I obsess over. For example, I loathe dusting and so, it doesn't get done often. However, there is Right way to load the dishwasher, and god save you if you do it wrong. It aggravates more than it should if dishes get put away in the wrong places. But, I don't worry about hanging my clothes up when they come out of the dryer.

If it doesn't bother, then I truly don't care, but if it's one of those thing that bothers me, it's an obsession to do it the Right way and doing it Wrong causes me mental strife. Healthy? Hardly, but thankfully, it really is a small selection of things.

I try to understand that other people don't have the same (or any) obsessive ideas of Right and Wrong ways of doing things, but it can be hard.
 
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