After several years, I realized this struggle was my mind trying to tell me something important: If you have trouble believing something, there is usually a very good reason for this. If you find yourself wanting to ignore facts or avoid learning new things in some areas because it feels uncomfortable, you're not struggling to be spiritual. You're struggling against your own sense of reality. Some people call this cognitive dissonance.I know (from what I've read and my own experience) we ISTP's tend to have trouble believing in things we can't see and looking into the future. How did you overcome this struggle and accept Christianity as a reality? Or did you even have this struggle?
Long story short, I read up on all the things that made me uncomfortable about my faith, and then I didn't have to struggle anymore: I simply didn't believe. The next struggle, of course, was to come out of the closet as an atheist among the more religious of my friends and family. That was interesting...