Has any one else been raised by an ESFJ mum?
I ask because I have this tendency to always smile when speaking with others to make everyone feel at ease and stuff and it was only recently that I realised that its actually a pretty shitty thing.
I get along with people great, but its always in a bit of a submissive way, as if my main purpose is to smile and make everyone else feel ok.
I can only guess this is because my mum (who is an immigrant to my home country which made her even more smiley and stuff, just so she would be accepted by the locals) drilled into me that I should be happy and friendly to everyone to get along. My dad also died when I was young (and before that he was totally pussy whipped by my mum) so I never had anyone to tell me to MTFU and be true to myself rather than just smiling and making everyone else feel good. Now it feels like basically all this time I've been making everyone else feel at ease at the expense of my own needs (and as a result, throwing away my dignity) and its fucking shit to be honest.
I always thought my Fe was really good, but now I'm thinking my Fe isn't really that good, its just that I know how to make a bit of a fool out of myself and act silly to get on with others maybe.
Now I'm in this shitty position where I feel pissed off and angry, but I still have this underlying reaction that makes me smile when I speak to others. So I just give totally mixed up, weird signals out and it pisses me off.
Any one else in the same boat?
What a pisser. Just needed to get that shite off my chest.
I ask because I have this tendency to always smile when speaking with others to make everyone feel at ease and stuff and it was only recently that I realised that its actually a pretty shitty thing.
I get along with people great, but its always in a bit of a submissive way, as if my main purpose is to smile and make everyone else feel ok.
I can only guess this is because my mum (who is an immigrant to my home country which made her even more smiley and stuff, just so she would be accepted by the locals) drilled into me that I should be happy and friendly to everyone to get along. My dad also died when I was young (and before that he was totally pussy whipped by my mum) so I never had anyone to tell me to MTFU and be true to myself rather than just smiling and making everyone else feel good. Now it feels like basically all this time I've been making everyone else feel at ease at the expense of my own needs (and as a result, throwing away my dignity) and its fucking shit to be honest.
I always thought my Fe was really good, but now I'm thinking my Fe isn't really that good, its just that I know how to make a bit of a fool out of myself and act silly to get on with others maybe.
Now I'm in this shitty position where I feel pissed off and angry, but I still have this underlying reaction that makes me smile when I speak to others. So I just give totally mixed up, weird signals out and it pisses me off.
Any one else in the same boat?
What a pisser. Just needed to get that shite off my chest.