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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello!

So I've been talking to this ISTP for a while now and every time I think I might be sure he likes me I just get confused again. I did read that ISTP's tend to be more reserved and not in touch with their feelings.

However, he randomly opened up a while ago about wanting a relationship and feeling lonely, but thinking that he's probably better off alone. At the time I wasn't into him so I didnt think much of it. But now I wonder if maybe he was hinting something since I don't think he would just naturally share his feelings especially since we barely knew each other.

Anyway, everytime he compliments me or flirts in any way, he distances himself from me for a while and it just confuses me more. At one point I thought maybe he was just bored and playing with me, but I dont really think thats the case.

I'm just really confused and don't want to get played in any way. If anyone knows why this ISTP may be acting this way please let me know!

ps. I'm an INFJ. Maybe I'm overthinking it.. probably.
 

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Uh umm I’d honestly do the same as he does.
The best way to approach this imo is to directly ask him where is it going and to be honest about your feelings and needs. Cause maybe if you waited until he brings it up, you’d wait forever.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Uh umm I’d honestly do the same as he does.
The best way to approach this imo is to directly ask him where is it going and to be honest about your feelings and needs. Cause maybe if you waited until he brings it up, you’d wait forever.
Hello, Thanks for the reply!

I've thought about it countless times. I'm not personally one to go head-on into things, but this has been bothering me for a while.

The thing is, most of the time he is the one who initiates interaction or suggests doing things together. When I initiate anything it almost feels like I'm making him uncomfortable or something. It makes me feel like I crossed a boundary. So if I ask him that he'll just completely shut me out. I don't know if I should just wait a while or just forget about it.

I forgot to mention, there have been a few times where he's said snarky comments or something trying to be funny as a way to flirt and I've missed the joke. And when I respond back, he acts as if he hasn't said anything like??? This also happens even if I haven't missed the joke. : )))))))

sos
 

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If he’s really an ISTP he probably is less aware of his emotions than you are of them. ISTPs are really simple creatures. It just sounds like he has low self esteem. Tbh… Don’t get tangled up in that. Learn not to read into these things. Make decisions entirely with your own feelings. It will save you a lot of headaches.
 

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Hello, Thanks for the reply!

I've thought about it countless times. I'm not personally one to go head-on into things, but this has been bothering me for a while.

The thing is, most of the time he is the one who initiates interaction or suggests doing things together. When I initiate anything it almost feels like I'm making him uncomfortable or something. It makes me feel like I crossed a boundary. So if I ask him that he'll just completely shut me out. I don't know if I should just wait a while or just forget about it.

I forgot to mention, there have been a few times where he's said snarky comments or something trying to be funny as a way to flirt and I've missed the joke. And when I respond back, he acts as if he hasn't said anything like??? This also happens even if I haven't missed the joke. : )))))))

sos
I am pretty sure that most istps like when someone else initiates.
and for the flirting part, just don’t think too much of it, maybe he was just looking for a reaction or just plainly weird when it comes to such stuff.
take the steering wheel.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Hello! update hahaha.

So after a week or so, he randomly opened up a couple of days ago and told me that he wants to be with me but didn't know what to think because we live quite far away from each other. We had a brief conversation about it and after a bit of back and forth, we agreed to get to know each other a little bit better before deciding if we're giving the LDR a go.

When he did bring it up though, I felt like he was unsure and quite insecure about sharing his feelings with me. When I said I liked him back it was almost as if he was in disbelief hahaha. After that, I did ask him if he thought he might be happy in an LDR. I've been in an LDR before and it requires hard work and great communication which I am a little worried about, him being an ISTP. However, he said yes and that he's willing to try which I didn't think was going to be his answer (after being so unsure).

Anyway, after that happened he's opened up in general. He texts more often and seems eager to share more things about his day etc. Happy to say that I wasn't wrong about my intuition hahaha.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I am pretty sure that most istps like when someone else initiates.
and for the flirting part, just don’t think too much of it, maybe he was just looking for a reaction or just plainly weird when it comes to such stuff.
take the steering wheel.
Hi!

I did take your advice and initiated certain things which might have given him some sort of indication that it was okay to open up to me. He still reacts a little strange and awkwardly when I do pay a compliment though hahaha. It's okay though I find it cute.

Many thanks!
 
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