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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not going to link my advice centre thread "does she like me" but basically trying to find out if an ISTP girl still likes me still, even after a weird denial response that made no logical sense to me personally and she never said no, but still laughs at my bad jokes, and laughs even for smiling in her direction apparently. Lol

Okay, above may be a lot to chew and you may have many questions, but what do you do when you like someone?

What do you find attractive in a guy?
 

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Everyone's different, even ISTP chicks.

My suggestion is if you like her, keep spending time with her. She's not gonna friendzone you if she likes you, so don't worry about that. And if you're serious, just be straightforward and tell her how you feel.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Everyone's different, even ISTP chicks.

My suggestion is if you like her, keep spending time with her. She's not gonna friendzone you if she likes you, so don't worry about that. And if you're serious, just be straightforward and tell her how you feel.
Hehe I already did it ,

Can I know what ISTPs find attractive and how they show that they are attracted to people ?

I'm trying to figure it out myself, it's confusing
 

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Hehe I already did it ,

Can I know what ISTPs find attractive and how they show that they are attracted to people ?

I'm trying to figure it out myself, it's confusing
Well the trouble is sometimes the feelings don't make any goddamn logical sense, and we are logical people, so...

When I like someone I usually lose my cool and start acting weird. Either I avoid them, get aggressive/mean (because I'm trying to control the situation but failing), or I get giggly and stupid. That's why my ideal love affair is becoming friends slowly, so I have time to adjust and not act like a stupid moron every step of the way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Well the trouble is sometimes the feelings don't make any goddamn logical sense, and we are logical people, so...
I would describe myself the exact same way actually. Actually I would go out of my way to say I hate feelings 70% of the time, and clingy people get on my nerves too.

Anyway that did help me understand a bit, like, maybe ISTPs would need to find a logical reason, in communicating their interest, but it conflicts with their internal desires, so they don’t admit to them completely. That makes me like her more.

What else do ISTPs do? if you don’t mind me asking

When I like someone I usually lose my cool and start acting weird. Either I avoid them, get aggressive/mean (because I'm trying to control the situation but failing), or I get giggly and stupid. That's why my ideal love affair is becoming friends slowly, so I have time to adjust and not act like a stupid moron every step of the way.
Weird thing one time she got aggressive and avoidant but I yelled at her for not helping out, anyway, that was the only time. Every other time this ISTP was giggly.

What does it mean if an ISTP girl is super giggly around you, (even for just a look her way) even after you tell her you like her ? (and she says there is nothing like that, in terms of her interest in you)

Thank you for the insight, because someone told me ISTP girls only respond to “wanna smash?” when I was thinking maybe they would be more secretive and want to take it slow with someone like, because they’re introverts.
 

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I think everyone is going to have their own "type," even among the same type, as some people like people who are similar to them and others go with the idea that opposites attract.

I'd say the ideal guy for me would be someone like me, so someone who shares my thirst for adventure and can explore new places with me. Someone who is independent, laid-back, values logical consistency, and can respect my need for alone time. Someone who I can laugh with, but knows when he needs to be serious. Turn-offs would include being overly rigid/serious/needy/clingy/sensitive, intrusive questioning and minding people's business, and constantly needing validation for trivial things. So I guess my type would kind of align with the ISTP stereotype, or at least XSTP.

When I'm around a guy I find attractive and he isn't really doing anything important, I'll try to find friends to talk to and use a bold and assertive tone when talking to them. I'll observe the guy's behavior in the corner of my eye to see how he responds. I guess this is because I personally like independent and assertive people, and I want to see if they like that kind of behavior as well.

Weird thing one time she got aggressive and avoidant but I yelled at her for not helping out, anyway, that was the only time. Every other time this ISTP was giggly.
As an ISTP I am not a giggly girl. I have two basic types of laughs: (1) the fake kind when I don't know how to respond to something, and (2) the genuine "that was funny!" kind of laugh.

I don't usually have a lot to say so I'll just do my fake laugh in response to a lot of things so I don't sound rude or unresponsive. However, if I find someone annoying, I'm not going to even bother doing my fake laugh, and I'll usually just say "mhm" dismissively without even making eye contact. So if this girl is giggling at everything you say, I'm not going to confirm that she has a crush on you, but at least she most likely sees you in a positive light.

If I find a guy interesting, I don't mind if they try to spend time with me, but if I'm not interested, then the clingy behavior will annoy me and I will have no issue with distancing myself and having as little social interaction with him as possible. So try conversing with her more and see how she responds. If she seems happy or at least doesn't seem to mind your presence, then at least she doesn't dislike you. If she starts acting more distant or uninterested, she's probably not interested and wants to be left alone (and if this happens, don't push it or you'll probably just annoy her even more).

If you aren't sure if she likes you back I would not recommend making any sudden romantic gestures. Personally I don't like when guys I'm not interested do that and I will friend-zone them. I don't like to be direct when friend-zoning because I don't want to seem rude or cocky; I prefer to drop hints that I am not interested and hope he picks up on them. If he doesn't, then I'll just distance myself from him.

Again, no one is the same, not even people of the same type, so take my words with a grain of salt :)
 

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Well the trouble is sometimes the feelings don't make any goddamn logical sense, and we are logical people, so...

When I like someone I usually lose my cool and start acting weird. Either I avoid them, get aggressive/mean (because I'm trying to control the situation but failing), or I get giggly and stupid. That's why my ideal love affair is becoming friends slowly, so I have time to adjust and not act like a stupid moron every step of the way.
This! Couldn't have said it better myself.
 

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I'm not going to link my advice centre thread "does she like me" but basically trying to find out if an ISTP girl still likes me still, even after a weird denial response that made no logical sense to me personally and she never said no, but still laughs at my bad jokes, and laughs even for smiling in her direction apparently. Lol

Okay, above may be a lot to chew and you may have many questions, but what do you do when you like someone?

What do you find attractive in a guy?
Okay, so first of all, this question doesn't have a definite answer and here's why. Us ISTPs respond in the moment, meaning that our response is more dependent on you and your actions in the present moment than it is on anything else. In other words, our responses will be different from person to person and from situation to situation, even from day to day. Consistency is not our forte because the present is not an event of consistency.

I've noticed that for myself, I definitely have a lot of hot and cold behavior, and that's not necessarily intentional, just something that occurs because I don't even know how I feel about stuff so I respond as best I can at the moment.

For example, if a guy asks me a ton of questions and showers me with a ton of attention, I'll push back a lot and be snappy and even mean, especially if I feel like he's coming on too strong or making me feel "weak", silly, or vulnerable (read, emotional). So there's likely to be some type of pushback even when (and possibly, especially when) I like a guy.

Another guy might be younger than me, kind of shy, and sweet, so I'll probably step in more and be the one to make the effort to converse. But let's say that the same guy suddenly starts getting too "chummy" and clingy, then I'll distance myself until he seems to back off a bit, and if I still want to get to know him, I'll come back around once I feel comfortable again, and so on and so forth.

So when I like a guy, my response is dependent on the type of person he is, and how he acts towards me in every interaction. Previous interactions have little bearing on the now. Also, half the time, I don't realize if I like someone right away. It takes a while for my emotions to catch up to my thinking.

As for what I find attractive in a guy? Honestly, it's what kind of person he is as a whole. I'm realistic enough to realize that every person will have something about them that will annoy me. But to me, it's just a matter of figuring out which person I'm willing to tolerate for the rest of my life. Taking it slow, and being good friends for a good while makes this process so much easier, and without the pressure.

Us ISTP girls are definitely not easy picking. Gotta take the time to build that trust man.

Here are some tips though:
  • Keep things low pressure and informal (aka, no labels or commitments for a while. Patience is key.)
  • Keep in mind that if we like you and are ready, we'll be sure you know about it. We're blunt and direct, so we'll either tell you or make sure you hear about it.
  • If you are getting impatient with us, back off. Again, keep the pressure low.
  • Don't expect us to be something we're not (aka girly, emotional, etc.)
  • Just have fun with it! We'll remember you and like you more if you keep things fun and action-packed! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
@estera @aerstyu @letsrunlikecrazy

Turns out she rates the guy at the bank a 5, and her friend from the bakery, the nice guy who gives her cakes a 7-8 but apparently shes not interested in him either. She was like hell no to the bank guy :D so we were all wrong, and I was right, she HATES being catcalled by guys and she didnt like the bank guy.

She showed me her ex for the first time. Looked like a scrawny lizard to me and she said he had some attractive traits. He rate his attractiveness a 30%.

She rated my attractiveness a 70%.

I told her I told my friend to ask her I liked her, I came clean and told her I had a massive crush on her and she responded.

She kept asking if I would get angry and said we shouldnt go dating, not even to the restaurant we went to nearby and we shouldnt be boyfriend or girlfriend in the future.

At first, she said "If we didnt have family problems, coworker limitations and i wasnt from a poor family" we would be boyfriend and girlfriend. Then she took it back later and said, "nah I only said that so you wouldn't get angry"

She said she really really wanted us to be "best friends". There was so much chemistry between us speaking privately in our room that I could have just gone in for a kiss right there and then and she would have been okay with it (you know, to "not make me mad")

I also raised some issues about my dad unnecessarily touching her hips when we were living together, when they were fixing a tank and she needed to get transported outside or on another occasion where she was trying to move past a window from a platform outside. He made a sexual joke and it really pissed me off, in relation to "thanking her for getting him his eggplant", (in other words, his dick) and I told her it was sexual harassment. And she said gross, at first but later he corrected what he said, and said "oh no it's my stomach thanking you because I have stomach issues". This is next to rumours spread by my mum that that were sleeping together occasionally and he was sleeping with a past assistant, and her mum also yells at her thinking this may be true, I've seen them disappear on one occasion but cant really verify the theory. My dad also has partial ownership of the company, that I am a manager and have partial ownership of. I forgot to add, so I would have to leave the premises and live with my uncle closer to the girl I like, in the event I ever hit or sue him.

I was seriously yelling him to my mum saying he crossed the line and I'm going to smash him for it and never did that before but that's the girl I like and I confessed everything.

But then I wasnt planning on fighting my dad after...

Well then this girl started crying when I confronted her about all of it.

she may be moving to the capital to attend university fulltime next month and she cried when I asked her is she was leaving, and she said "do you want me to stay?" and of course I said "yes" and that's what prompted this whole discussion about her being my crush .

At that point, I felt I loved her so much in my heart that I just kept complimenting all the great things shes been doing at work and personally and socially, and how she will be a great person and how I would accept her whatever interests or paths she takes.

Anyway its confusing but she wants us to be best friends and we both said sometimes that evolves into gf and bf.
 
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