Wow! Hope I can get some insight, because I have been married for 3 years to my ISTP husband and he has been stressed for the last 3 years due to the economy-less income and work conflicts, declining health in parents, health problems himself due to stress-sinus infection - where everyday with him has been ups and downs of depression. I have been supportive, loving, kind, patient, and kept holding onto this month when he was finished paying half his income to his ex spouse to be excited about our life going forward - a house rather than an apt. within our means, a vacation for 3-5 days to celebrate and have some down time with him (things we talked about - but he never made concrete plans). I couldn't pin him down for plans or goals and if I did vacation wise - (we never do anything-he can't make himself take time for himself to recharge) - they would get canceled for one reason or another - a few of them legit. It's like he never really had any intentions of moving forward. I was patient, patient, patient, and I finally spoke my mind - well I guess wrong thing to do. I guess I sent him over the edge or something because we rarely have words - and I left for a few hours I am so hurt - I know he has alot going on - but there is nothing left for me -ever. I went to the movies to just get away for a few hours, I come back - he has the car packed and says he is going to leave - I ask him leave leave or leave to work things out? I have had ISTJ relationships before - and basically I just can't do that control thing again - last time I got out of an ISTJ relationship I was a wreck. I can be as loving as I want to be - and my spouse has so many problems - anyway...so he left - I am trying to let him be gone as long as needed to as he says "calm himself down". It's been 2 days and he told me it would be at least a couple more days. I am full of anxiety, he says he loves me, but I secretly think he may be contemplating leaving me because I spoke my mind-but I am human too - and after I had a few hours - I was ready to try again. It's all focused on him - there is no place for me. Do you think he really is just needing time and will be back? He is staying about 10 minutes away at his parents house - which is fine if he wants to have the love and attention (or non attention) of being able to work through this, but I am a tradtional person who believes after a day we are a team and should be working on things together. I have told him we can put my needs aside for now, but I wish he would come home. He still wanted some days. I feel like he doesn't care and I feel abandoned. He is not a very good communicator and stonewalls - if he would just be concrete so I could have hope for the future when it comes to "our" future. We have not been able to move forward for 5 years for our life-and I thought now that the ex was paid off - we could, that was what I was lead to believe. I have told him for his health he needs to get away with me - to do things that appeal to his introverted style. He would never go. What am I doing wrong? I don't want to be a nobody in this marriage - I want us to be there for each other. My extrovertedness is sooo sad. Sorry this is so long. I wanted to try and give some kind of picture to my concern and question. Do you think he is contemplating divorce or just trying to "calm down" as he says. I am trying to take care of me and have a life - but I just don't know where he is coming from....and if he is like this - it's going to be a hard marriage to make it. Also, he drinks 2-3 (1.5 oz each) Jack Danials a day after work - he doesn't seem drunk at all - but wondering what that is doing for him. He likes to come home have his drinks, have dinner, watch TV and go to bed, get up at 6 AM (he is a prinicpal for an architecture company) and start again. thx u.