[cbelle]

I have questions regarding the behavior of ISTPs when in pursuing a romantic relationship. I am rethinking the typing of my "ISTP" and wondering if he is a different type, but I can't think of any other type that he would more likely be.

I guess it's because of the difference in his behavior compared to the ISTPs on this board. Not that there is anything wrong with you guys and gals, but there is a highly obvious difference in the quality of conversations… the best way I can describe it is, the conversations between "ISTP" and I are carefree and light and luminescent, almost. Without me saying or implying wanting anything from him, he is opening up to me about how he feels about things.

We have wonderfully role playing conversations in which I am the Joker and he Batman or I am Darth Vaderess and he is an Indian. He enjoys them tremendously because we both enjoy weapons and adventure.

He seems romantic to me. He can say the sweetest things I've ever heard. Again, they aren't all that common… he's not sweet-talking me every second, which is a relief. But he is caring and thoughtful. He gifts me with little things he knows I'd enjoy… little wildflowers and such.

Does that sound like an ISTP in love? :blushed:

 

[Fanille]

I know I can act very "Feeler"-ish when I'm in love, and a lot of Thinking types do, so this does make sense.

 

[clavio]

EHHHHHHHHHHHH

I would say that I try to keep conversations as terse and superficial as possible with people I dont really know. When in a "romantic relationship" I wouldnt say carefree and light. Deep probably. But still listening more than speaking.

 

[OctoberSkye]

I turn into a somewhat different person with the object of my affection. I mean, the core me is still there, but she is constantly overruled by the me that cares intensely for him and wants to make him just as happy as myself. That's a very big deal to me, so it only extends to that one person. So when I "love", I love huge.

I was accused of being an actress by an ex because I was one way when we were dating and a heartless bitch when we finally broke up. (Of course, I had to be because the titbag wouldn't take a hint.) He didn't get how I could do a 180 so quickly. I simply cared about him until I didn't anymore. When I didn't, the "in-love" me went back into hibernation.

Love is chemicals. I imagine those chemicals are at their strongest in the first 6 months or so. I'm not sure how long you've been an official couple, but I would wait to wonder if he was truly bonded to you after about a year.

 

[Bluestang23]

I would say so. If the conversations get into that feeling phase, it's probably because he is comfortable with you.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

Only my wife gets to see the truly affectionate side of me.

I simply cared about him until I didn't anymore.

That describes my views on pretty much every relationship. Anyone can be dropped like a bad habit for going too far, too many times.

 

[ZC Carbon]

I've only ever become truly whimisical and affectionate towards my car.

She is a beautiful woman after all.

[Edit] Like the other day~ We were well up until midnight in the front of the garage, making sweet, sweet eletrical love as I installed her sexy, oh so sexy neons.

[Edit] I made a game of how many times I killed mosquitoes and I lost count~

/in love ZC

 

[ThoughtProcess]

^^I get to spend some quality time with my car later. I need to swap out my clutch master cylinder and replace the clutch pedal.

 

[ZC Carbon]

^^I get to spend some quality time with my car later. I need to swap out my clutch master cylinder and replace the clutch pedal.

Mmm your lady is asking how much you love her <3

 

[cbelle]

My car love and I can do anything when we're on the road. I've been known to caress his steering wheel and put his keys in my mouth. I lay flush against him and he purrs.

 

[cbelle]

His name is Saab.

 

[OctoberSkye]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way about their car. My car is a mega POS but it's my baby. His name is why won't you $!$% start you %!$#@$. <3

 

[Elemmire]

I think that just because your ISTP man can speak to you in a romantic way - that does not make him less of an ISTP - it just makes him an extra special ISTP. Just cherish it. I know I do.

 

[cbelle]

I think that just because your ISTP man can speak to you in a romantic way - that does not make him less of an ISTP - it just makes him an extra special ISTP. Just cherish it. I know I do.

He is incredible yes. Thanks., exactly what I needed to hear. He is extra special... but I told him that's what he was and he said, "Yep, Special ed. I ride the short bus!" lol Haha looks like I need to do some more convincing

 

[ZC Carbon]

My car love and I can do anything when we're on the road. I've been known to caress his steering wheel and put his keys in my mouth. I lay flush against him and he purrs.

Get me wrong, but why are you letting your car do all the work? You need to learn some positions and take control.

 

[Elemmire]

"Yep, Special ed. I ride the short bus!"

OMGLOL - He says "short bus" too! Try living with an ISTP for years and then going to work at a place that helps the intellectually disabled. They can rub off on you and you can get yourself in trouble when you are just trying to be a good INFP. :blushed:

 

[AEIOU]

I turn into a somewhat different person with the object of my affection. I mean, the core me is still there, but she is constantly overruled by the me that cares intensely for him and wants to make him just as happy as myself. That's a very big deal to me, so it only extends to that one person. So when I "love", I love huge.

I was accused of being an actress by an ex because I was one way when we were dating and a heartless bitch when we finally broke up. (Of course, I had to be because the titbag wouldn't take a hint.) He didn't get how I could do a 180 so quickly. I simply cared about him until I didn't anymore. When I didn't, the "in-love" me went back into hibernation.

Love is chemicals. I imagine those chemicals are at their strongest in the first 6 months or so. I'm not sure how long you've been an official couple, but I would wait to wonder if he was truly bonded to you after about a year.

Why do we cuss and scream art our cars when they don't start? It can't hear us. Reminds me of Michael J. Fox in "Back to the Future" trying to get the car started so he can go back to the future. Anthropomorphism is the attribution of human characteristics to non-human animal or non-living things, phenomena, material states and objects or abstract concepts.


You've learned a lot, I commend you.
You are fortunate that you have learned some of theses things early in life and not later on.

If you ever want to learn more about "Chemistry" read some of Dr. Helen Fisher's work, books.

Here are a few quick articles you will enjoy.

--->Chemistry - Love, Explained

--->Chemistry - Romantic Chemistry, Explained

--->Chemistry a new online dating site from Match.com for singles

--->Match.com Happen Magazine | You?ll never see love the same way again

 

[cbelle]

Get me wrong, but why are you letting your car do all the work? You need to learn some positions and take control.

I do need to learn some positions. However I don't know where to start. Would you mind teaching me a few?

 

[ThoughtProcess]

He is incredible yes. Thanks., exactly what I needed to hear. He is extra special... but I told him that's what he was and he said, "Yep, Special ed. I ride the short bus!" lol Haha looks like I need to do some more convincing

My wife says that it makes her feel special that I only show this side of me to her.

Also, actions speak far louder than words. :happy:

 

[cbelle]

My wife says that it makes her feel special that I only show this side of me to her.

Also, actions speak far louder than words. :happy:

Absolutely true. Though I am ENFP and put big value on words, I adore the actions and I realize that him giving me things/making expressions/etc is his way of letting me know he cares. I would feel extremely complimented if I was the only one he showed his sensitive side to.

And honestly although us ENFPs act brightly open with our inner selves, we have sides and thoughts and dreams that we hold back for only one special person to open up as well. We are very guarded and personal with our close-to-the-heart feelings, maybe not so much as the ISTP, but enough that there is a big difference between a close friend and a lover/companion.