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743 Posts
Hi, I'm new here. First I want to apologize for starting off with something so personal, but hopefully a productive impersonal discussion will result.
So the issue is that even though I'm pretty sure I'm an INTP going by description, and even though I consistently score with strong intuition, I'm still unsure and insecure about whether or not I'm really INTP. Despite the fact that I try my utmost to be honest with myself, I can't help but wonder if I'm subconsciously choosing the options that I want to be like, rather than what I really am.
It's easy for me to determine that I'm IxTP, as the other three functions are much more concrete in description. You either are punctual or you aren't; you either are outgoing or you aren't etc. and I happen to be extreme in all of them. But by nature of the N/S descriptions being more abstract than the others, they're left open to a much more subjective, and therefore potentially erroneous, interpretation; I'm both a realist and an idealist. Which option do I choose? I don't know which one I'm more of, so I simply choose the one I prefer. This is where I have most trouble defining myself objectively and conclusively without putting my own conscious and subconscious desires into the mix.
I believe this "identity crisis" stems from two things. First of all, I think I was an ISTP as a child, and only at some point during my teenage years did I morph (I think) into INTP. (However, perhaps I only think this because my dad forced me into sports throughout childhood which developed my athletic abilities, then when I became old enough to make my own decisions...you see where I'm going with this). Second, I'm admittedly insecure about my level of intelligence (me? average? It can't be!), and the notion is that NTs are generally more intellectual. I realize the fallacy here; my level of intelligence is what it is regardless of my type. Yet I can't stop obsessing, and I probably won't until I find a conclusive answer.
I'm not going to list out a bunch of personality traits of mine because to be honest, I can and have analyzed my own personality more than enough. What I'm really just looking for is a way to objectively determine my level of S/N. This is one area where theorizing works against me, since I can never be sure of the absolute truth due to my subjectivity, and it's driving me nuts.
So, again, sorry about the personal rant, but I'd love to hear some feedback. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever struggled with this.
So the issue is that even though I'm pretty sure I'm an INTP going by description, and even though I consistently score with strong intuition, I'm still unsure and insecure about whether or not I'm really INTP. Despite the fact that I try my utmost to be honest with myself, I can't help but wonder if I'm subconsciously choosing the options that I want to be like, rather than what I really am.
It's easy for me to determine that I'm IxTP, as the other three functions are much more concrete in description. You either are punctual or you aren't; you either are outgoing or you aren't etc. and I happen to be extreme in all of them. But by nature of the N/S descriptions being more abstract than the others, they're left open to a much more subjective, and therefore potentially erroneous, interpretation; I'm both a realist and an idealist. Which option do I choose? I don't know which one I'm more of, so I simply choose the one I prefer. This is where I have most trouble defining myself objectively and conclusively without putting my own conscious and subconscious desires into the mix.
I believe this "identity crisis" stems from two things. First of all, I think I was an ISTP as a child, and only at some point during my teenage years did I morph (I think) into INTP. (However, perhaps I only think this because my dad forced me into sports throughout childhood which developed my athletic abilities, then when I became old enough to make my own decisions...you see where I'm going with this). Second, I'm admittedly insecure about my level of intelligence (me? average? It can't be!), and the notion is that NTs are generally more intellectual. I realize the fallacy here; my level of intelligence is what it is regardless of my type. Yet I can't stop obsessing, and I probably won't until I find a conclusive answer.
I'm not going to list out a bunch of personality traits of mine because to be honest, I can and have analyzed my own personality more than enough. What I'm really just looking for is a way to objectively determine my level of S/N. This is one area where theorizing works against me, since I can never be sure of the absolute truth due to my subjectivity, and it's driving me nuts.
So, again, sorry about the personal rant, but I'd love to hear some feedback. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever struggled with this.