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Okay...I am curious.

It seems like from the things I am reading..........these things rate rather low on the priority list. Is this true or are we just misreading you?

Help us understand, if you dont mind.....I see many give up on 'you'.....is there something 'you' wish 'we' knew about 'you'?

Thank you in advance... :tongue:
 

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They're all very high priority to my ISTP man. He prefers to express his love more physically through hugs, nuzzling etc. rather than lovey dovey talk, though.

If all ISTPs are like him, they actually just don't look like they need love, but they can actually be quite dependent on it. They develop deep feelings over a long amount of time. You could say the love of an ISTP is a flower you need to nurture to make it bloom, which can tire impatient people and make them give up.

And since they aren't prone to romantic chit-chat, the other party might not always notice their feelings. From what I see you can't expect constant romantic behaviour from an ISTP, that's not their way of doing things. In our relationship I'm the one who displays her affection very clearly 24/7, while my partner doesn't do it on a regular basis but when he does, it's simply breathtaking.

I think love is a private thing to ISTPs, and they also show it to their partner in special situations and ways. :)
 

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Beautifully said Bett - I am exactly like your husband (with the caveat that the hugs and snuzzling are not done in public - I need to be able to take in my surroundings)

Intimacy in a loyal, loving relationship with someone that is secure enough in herself to allow me space to explore whatever is interesting to me, and doesn't need continual reaffirming that she is the one. She is. Now let's get on with living. (Luckily I found her). Sex - of course - I am sensate.

There are two types of love. The first is like a big pot of gold, sparkling, rich and exciting; but every time you go there you take a coin out of the pot until you are left with just the vessel, hollow, and empty. The second is like a grain of sand in a clam. It starts of just as it is, with no pretence, and slowly grows and matures over time until you have a pearl. I have never been the sparkling, rich, and exciting type of guy.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Wow....these answers are awesome...very much different than the 'commitment' phobe/cold feeling that is in a lot of the profiles........


I hope we get more input!!
 

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There are two types of love. The first is like a big pot of gold, sparkling, rich and exciting; but every time you go there you take a coin out of the pot until you are left with just the vessel, hollow, and empty. The second is like a grain of sand in a clam. It starts of just as it is, with no pretence, and slowly grows and matures over time until you have a pearl. I have never been the sparkling, rich, and exciting type of guy.
that was a really good interpretation you came up with. :happy:
 

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They're all very high priority to my ISTP man. He prefers to express his love more physically through hugs, nuzzling etc. rather than lovey dovey talk, though.

If all ISTPs are like him, they actually just don't look like they need love, but they can actually be quite dependent on it. They develop deep feelings over a long amount of time. You could say the love of an ISTP is a flower you need to nurture to make it bloom, which can tire impatient people and make them give up.

And since they aren't prone to romantic chit-chat, the other party might not always notice their feelings. From what I see you can't expect constant romantic behaviour from an ISTP, that's not their way of doing things. In our relationship I'm the one who displays her affection very clearly 24/7, while my partner doesn't do it on a regular basis but when he does, it's simply breathtaking.

I think love is a private thing to ISTPs, and they also show it to their partner in special situations and ways. :)
This is profoundly true, based on my experience so far with my ISTP guy. He shows he cares for me by taking us on a trip together somewhere, sharing new experiences, cooking for me, paying for dates, cuddling in bed when it's time to rest, handing me the phone to chitchat with his mom (a sign of trust), stroking my hair when I'm listening to him ramble out loud, opening up about his thoughts and his future wishes, holding my hand, saying things like "sorry" or "aww"-- words of empathy being rare with him, feeding me bites of his food, never failing to keep in touch (however sporadically), watching out for me (silently, as in always turning around to check to see I'm safe), never criticizing me (ie., accepting me), umm... things ike that.

He rarely opens up about feelings, but when he's expressing how he feels in the manners which I've described above, it truly is the most wonderful, comforting, precious and powerful thing... precisely because it took time, patience, and work to get there. (And it's still getting there! It's a day-to-day thing with ISTPs and builds up with each good day together. I haven't heard the words "I love you" come from him spontaneously yet, but if that day ever comes, it would be the symptom of the deepest trust between us, based on everything we've been through together. And by then, even if he did say it, it would just be a word-based confirmation of something I already knew.) The intimate bond therein truly feels earned, and thus very, very strong and special.

Underneath his tough, badass, mischievous, rebellious Clint Eastwood exterior, there is a docile, sweet, boyish and pure innocence to him. Seeing that side of him in special moments tells me everything I need to know. =)
 

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As of right now, relationships and intimacy are low on the priority list for me, and even though I often act like a total horn-dog here and I certainly do enjoy sex, even that isn't an absolute necessity for me either.

There are lots of things I want to do, and I feel like committing to an intimate relationship makes it more difficult for me to do all of those things. However, my view on this is subject to change as I get older - eventually I would like to have a significant other, and start a family, and all that, but that time is not now.
 

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It's definetely important to me. Being single, I miss it all. My ex gf is probably ESFJ and I'm sure it's much harder on her, because she just can't stand being alone.

I can definetely relate to a lot of the things that were said, except for what MannyP said. No offense.

I'll take a hug over sweet talk any day.
 

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I would not say any of them are priorities in my life. Even when an interest comes around I just don't go after them very hard. I will go after them just enough to get what I want - usually physical. That's where attraction starts for me. I have to have physical chemistry to have emotional connectivity. After that, I figure if they want me enough they'll do the work. If they don't I haven't wasted my time.

I just go with it. If it feels right and natural things play out the way they should. It takes a while to build intimacy and relationships and I've never been in a rush to have either. It's great when it happens but otherwise I'm just fine with being friends or hooking up with a familiar person every once in a while.
 

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As of right now, relationships and intimacy are low on the priority list for me, and even though I often act like a total horn-dog here and I certainly do enjoy sex, even that isn't an absolute necessity for me either.

There are lots of things I want to do, and I feel like committing to an intimate relationship makes it more difficult for me to do all of those things. However, my view on this is subject to change as I get older - eventually I would like to have a significant other, and start a family, and all that, but that time is not now.
My thoughts are almost identical here. If the opportunity for a relationship appears and the time is right for me, it will become crystal clear.
 

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I have to have physical chemistry to have emotional connectivity. After that, I figure if they want me enough they'll do the work. If they don't I haven't wasted my time.

I just go with it. If it feels right and natural things play out the way they should.
This is the way I am too.

Currently I am with an ENFJ guy and he views the whole thing in a much different light, so it's been a struggle. He gets frustrated when he doesn't feel that I'm reciprocating his love...and I keep saying "I already TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU". Jeez, what else is there? lol I don't say that if I don't mean it. But I don't live in super-romance-fantasy land....like certain other people....that I love very much. :laughing:
 

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I was with an ENFJ guy for 2 years. Roller. Coaster.

He knew my buttons and pushed and pushed until I exploded. In retrospect, maybe he was just trying to get something out of me he could work with. They really do live for verbal affirmation. If they don't have it they slowly chip away at you. For some reason, this usually ends up with them getting our anger instead of our love.
 

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I am married to an ENFJ woman and she is great. I wonder if it has something to do with the woman being NF and the man being the ST that makes it work, given societal expectations in gender roles. Just thinking out loud...
 

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Yeah. No doubt. People say that gender doesn't affect or shouldn't affect type but I don't always agree with that. I think it plays a large part in attraction and social interaction so why wouldn't it play a part in compatibility?
 

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Okay...I am curious.

It seems like from the things I am reading..........these things rate rather low on the priority list. Is this true or are we just misreading you?

Help us understand, if you dont mind.....I see many give up on 'you'.....is there something 'you' wish 'we' knew about 'you'?

Thank you in advance... :tongue:
I had a very brief fling with an ISTP; no strings attached, and he flat out said to me: "Want to kiss?" And he was very good at it too. It's no secret that during the same summer he's kissed at least two other girls, and judging by the length of each one, they were almost certainly physical (don't get me wrong. I didn't mind. I think it was hedonistic on both our parts, and nothing really personal). I would say that at least this ISTP seems to like physical intimacy very much. That is not to say he can't commit (as a lot of profiles imply); I can't comment on that matter, but I think he knew very well that summer romances don't tend to last, and was sensible about it.
 

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If you catch an ISTP at the wrong time then "relationship" is going to be literally at the bottom of the barrel - case in point: grad school.

I cannot stand mushy talk but I can definitely feel if someone cares about me though physical action, it's easier to interpret than the variation of any of the million claptrap saying people use to affirm each other's affections.
 

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You're likely to be disappointed.

As for the topic, despite the utmost necromancy being practiced, relationships and sex aren't anywhere on my priority list, they just tend to happen on occasion without much planning involved, certainly not from my end anyway.
 

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SORRY! Ignore this Thread. I did not check the date. I imagine there won't be much said :) You are right. Have a nice night!!!
 
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