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Discussion Starter #1
Six months ago my parents had to move in with my husband and I. I always thought living with my Dad would be the most unbearable ordeal I would ever have to deal with. But I was wrong. My mom is an ISFJ and I'm an ISTP. Its like Oil and Water in my opinion. But I've got to make this work, so any suggestions from others that have dealt successfully with this combination would be greatly appreciated.

Some of the issues;

I'm very Independent, and not needy.

She never says what she means. I'm supposed to figure it out I guess. She's super sensitive. I'm blunt and that translates to hurtful. The littlest things set her off and I don't even know what I've said.

I have to take her shopping, she loves to shop and takes forever. She has to look at everything in the store. I like to spend about 5 minutes in the store, go for a specific purpose and get out as soon as possible once I found my items.

The list goes on and on. I'm committed to making this work for the both of us. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
 

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Be honest, open and direct. If she's not keen on personality theories, maybe try and break down the idea of an ISTP to her, tell her you're not very good at reading between the lines, perhaps bring up a conversation of characters you both relate to if you can, maybe in a conversation about how you communicate and function differently.

If she's upset, tell her something like 'I'm sorry if I've upset you, is there anything I can do to fix the situation? What can I do better next time, or try to avoid in future, which made/makes you unhappy?' Appeal to her emotions, something like that, but be open about how you're feeling/what's annoying you - 'I don't know how to help if you don't tell me when you're getting annoyed. I don't mind if you get angry at the time, I don't want to put pressure on you but I think it'd work out in the long run if you didn't let it build up like this'. Be calm as you tell her this if you can. But I know being a different temperament is difficult, and it shouldn't all be on you to rework your communicating, and not everyone of a single type is the same.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks for your response. I had this conversation this morning, and it seems to have helped. I think we just need to keep communicating. The thing that bothers me, is she always says I didn't hurt her feelings when I know I did.
 
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