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How do you act when you open up around people? Not like close feelings or whatever, just being more sociable. Are your Ti/Se reasonably balanced? I've noticed that a lot of ISTP's tend to report being extremely or moderately withdrawn.



I've surprised people by opening up in the past, because I'm usually withdrawn. People can think I'm shy or lack confidence, then boom out exploring. If I get involved in the moment, I quit using Ti, and Se takes over. I'll say things that are sometimes weird, confusing, inflammatory, or funny. It's both aggravating and liberating, because I get out of my head, but I'm not prone to analyze what happens. I've been called an asshole in the past. Makes me consider being an ESTP.

It's hard to consider how I'm being perceived when this happens, I feel like I lack an identity. Especially when talking to other introverts.
 

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If you mean talking about yourself, I rarely do it. If someone asks me a question about myself Ill answer with short sentences or words, thats about it.

If you mean social in general, I can be pretty outgoing. As for when getting involved Ill have Se take over as well. What happens to me is pretty similar.
Im more prone to be outgoing in smaller groups. Larger ones Im very withdrawn.
 

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I'm the same as @DlusionAl if its opening up about myself. That honestly never/rarely happens.

But I've been drinking a bit more recently and have made a lot of bar friends. A little bit of a buzz and I become a social butterfly, or maybe just more talkative. Although the topic is never about me.
 

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drinking a bit more recently and have made a lot of bar friends. A little bit of a buzz and I become a social butterfly, or maybe just more talkative. Although the topic is never about me.
Same as this. People who have only ever seen me drunk would probably think im an extrovert... I still never like to talk about myself or my personal life though.

My 8 wing also becomes more apparent and I become a lot more confrontational and have no problems calling people out on things, whereas if I'm sober I usually just dont think it's worth the hassle, unless it involves one of my close friends.
 
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I'm very social when I choose to be, even bubbly with the right crowd/circumstances/alcohol.

But I wouldn't say I'm open. First, because I don't have the kind of self-absorbed focus that "open" people have, and second, because I don't particularly feel the need to share with the world.
 

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I'm very social when I choose to be, even bubbly with the right crowd/circumstances/alcohol.

But I wouldn't say I'm open. First, because I don't have the kind of self-absorbed focus that "open" people have, and second, because I don't particularly feel the need to share with the world.
Exactly
 

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When my Se fully engages, my Fe tends to shine through. I am social and warm in a present moment, but can seem distant otherwise, not seeming to remember, acknowledge, or seek out people out of a shared activity context. I like people more when we engage together in a common physical or intellectual activity.
 

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Yes, it's rare for me to open up. I have this default mode of politeness that's hard to get out of. Even if someone asks me a more personal question to open me up a bit, that politeness mode comes up with a short, terse (but polite) answer and then I change the subject. So I can sort of relate when you say you feel a lack of identity... I don't exactly feel like I'm bursting with personality when I'm in that bland, polite mode. It just requires so much energy to get out of, and I don't normally feel motivated enough to push through it.

But yes, when I am opening up, it usually involves something to appeal to my Se or Fe. A crazy, out of the ordinary activity or just a healthy dose of booze can draw out my Se, and perhaps someone opening up to me privately (or in a really small group) can draw out my Fe. Heck, sometimes my Ti/Ni can be appealed enough to in order to get me talking. I'm pretty non-confrontational, but a controversial topic or discussion can still be thought provoking enough to compel me to provide my two cents.
 

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In social situations, I can be engaging, focused, quick with jokes and a laugh. People know they are being seen and listened to when they speak to me. I don't 'open up' to people, really. If we've been friends for some time, I may tell you about my life. Or if something related comes up--sharing for a reason, not just because. I actually don't like to relate to others over a mutually fucked up past. I like to relate to others based on my choices and direction in life, which is to be fucking awesome.
 

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I usually only open up when I want people to go away and never talk to me again. I tend to be loud, I tend to be somewhat aggressive, I tend to bring heavy hitting topics to the table that make people uneasy, and I tend to make jokes that make people ashamed for they're dark but they still end up laughing at them. If I'd rather quietly look into your eyes, as I intently listen to what you have to say, it means I like you and want you around me.
 

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I don't talk about myself as much as i like to talk about what i know and what i find interesting, or just what people are talking about.

Infact, i kinda get annoyed when i meet new people and they play 20 questions with me. Maybe i shouldn't.
 

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I kinda get annoyed when i meet new people and they play 20 questions with me. Maybe i shouldn't.
Being asked a lot of questions annoys me too.
In my case, it can feel intrusive or on-the-spot-putting.
I don't like having to think fast about myself. Or feel obligated to share something if I don't feel like spontaneously sharing it.
 

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I'm a book; very open and forthcoming for those who express an interest in 'reading' me, closed and totally unknown for those who can't be assed to turn the pages. In other words, people only truly come to know me through their own efforts.

I don't seem to have much innate desire to share my thoughts voluntarily. I enjoy doing so when there's a genuine interest, but I'm much more interested in opening other people up, then making open comparisons to myself.
 

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I had to do an 'participate' in a ice breaker yesterday at school, that was hell. It makes it really hard to talk to others like they want us to especially if its forced, I like to ninja my way to being more social/talkative or someone ninja they way to me:ninja:, it feels better when you're just in the flow of things and nothings really offsetting.
 

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I'm a book; very open and forthcoming for those who express an interest in 'reading' me, closed and totally unknown for those who can't be assed to turn the pages. In other words, people only truly come to know me through their own efforts.

I don't seem to have much innate desire to share my thoughts voluntarily. I enjoy doing so when there's a genuine interest, but I'm much more interested in opening other people up, then making open comparisons to myself.
If anyone conveys interest in me, sure I try to be as honest and open as I comfortably can. It all depends on how much they put in (interest-wise) as to how much I open up. Some people I can connect with right away because I can be myself and not be as elusive.

For others it can take a while. Then there's the others who never get beyond exchanging pleasantries. What I hate is opening up and then I get smacked across the face with a fistful of feelings. That's because once I start liking somebody, I try to go out of my way to be nice and do things for them as a way of returning their acceptance of me.

I guess the downside to that is you also get a helping of my smartasstic sense of humor, I have a tendency to pick on people but it is never intentionally hurtful. But thanks to my poor Fe (or their overabundance of same), I reckon I surpass a certain threshhold and twice now in the past month I've been called on it.

That's why I hate opening up and becoming vulnerable, I let my guard down around certain people and they trip out over something minor (and throwing me into a fierce Ti-Ni loop, fuckers). I tend to treat people like that as if they don't exist to me anymore. And I don't ever completely shun them, I always allow for things to be worked out, but I'll damn sure think twice about opening up around them again.
 

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How do you act when you open up around people? Not like close feelings or whatever, just being more sociable. Are your Ti/Se reasonably balanced? I've noticed that a lot of ISTP's tend to report being extremely or moderately withdrawn.



I've surprised people by opening up in the past, because I'm usually withdrawn. People can think I'm shy or lack confidence, then boom out exploring. If I get involved in the moment, I quit using Ti, and Se takes over. I'll say things that are sometimes weird, confusing, inflammatory, or funny. It's both aggravating and liberating, because I get out of my head, but I'm not prone to analyze what happens. I've been called an asshole in the past.
Hmmm, I probably come across as an asshole by my appearance, but most of the time I'm an asshole by accident rather than by design.

Some people think you're an asshole because you don't acknowledge their presence in the way they thought you oughtve. My idea of an asshole is someone that is completely unreasonable and I'm not that way at all.

I can be a real asshole at times, but it is a huge waste of energy for me when I could just ignore you otherwise. Most of the time I don't just go away mad... I just go away.

But its cool when people mistake that aloofness or whatever for being an anti-social asshole... and you prove them wrong. It's like they're afraid of the outcome once you turn your cards face up
 

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Same as this. People who have only ever seen me drunk would probably think im an extrovert... I still never like to talk about myself or my personal life though.

My 8 wing also becomes more apparent and I become a lot more confrontational and have no problems calling people out on things, whereas if I'm sober I usually just dont think it's worth the hassle, unless it involves one of my close friends.
Interesting. My 8 won't show at all while under the influence unless someone gets confrontational with me and then there's a possibility I might snap.
 
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