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Can you relate to this? Is it maybe possibly an S thing? Or is this a dumb question?

For example, as a kid it always seemed like if I did a chore when my mother was present observing me it 'counted' more towards her favorable impression of me being responsible than if I just quietly did it when she wasn't around. I always expected her to see the evidence it had been done and count it all the same, and although it wasn't like she'd scold me for not doing it in those cases (unless I'd done a crappy enough job she couldn't tell), it just seemed sort of like it counted enough to check it off the to do list, but not enough to make me look reliable or industrious - unless she actually saw me doing it. I don't feel like this is true for me although I won't say it's impossible that I may just take it for granted in my own perception of people, but... I feel like someone telling me they'd done something counts just as much towards my perception of them as if I see them do it. Sometimes I feel like i should 'procrastinate' tasks until someone (mom/boss/husband/etc.) is around so that it will register more strongly.

I was having a conversation with my husband recently when he jokingly admitted he tends to view people this way, and that's when it sort of struck me as an interesting Thing that might be type related. I mean I do see how this must be true to some extent for everyone as you can't add stuff to your understanding of someone if you're not really aware of it, but I guess my point is that it seems like it may possibly be more important to some people than others, so I was just wondering....
 

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Hmm. I actually thought this was more of a Pe thing as I'm pretty sure both my parents are Pe (my mom is INFP, my dad I'm assuming is ISTP) and I always felt this way growing up. I still notice it if I go home. They never really told me that it doesn't count if they don't see me do it, but they always seemed to not really listen to what I had to say if it wasn't something they could "see." If at some point they could finally "see" it (or experience it/witness me experiencing it) suddenly it would dawn on them, and I'd get frustrated and be like "that's what I've been telling you!" But it isn't just my parents, it seems to extend to friends as well. (This doesn't bother me as much because I feel that my parents can get overly-involved more often than my friends do.)

I dunno if it's just like an Ni problem that I have with people, haha.

My dad is kind of worse though, so maybe you're onto something. One of his favorite lines is "knowing it and doing it are two different things." And sometimes if my parents are in an argument he will tell my mom "you can talk about it all you want but that doesn't change anything." And other than him I don't tend to have much chemistry with S-types so this is probably my best example.

And personally, my inferior is an S function, but there are cases where I put more emphasis on actions than words. Normally though, it's when someone is talking about their character traits, saying "I"m a nice person!", "I can be really bossy", or something like that. It seems odd to me for someone who's genuinely nice to go around pointing it out (how is that different from someone who is genuinely smart going around saying "I'm a smart person!"), so if anything it makes me suspicious. But as far as someone taking action, yeah, I really don't care either way.
 
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If it is type related (it surely does differ from person to person) I would suspect it to be an Si thing. They naturally take more notice of what others are doing and remember it about the person. I must say of course that it doesn't exclude them from appreciating unseen favors, so I am not so convinced.

It is a large and mixed question that depends on the situation. Different conditions are modulatory in enhancing/lowering your impression. If we talk about small favors there is more time to "soak the impression in" when the other person, say, cooks for you in front of you, and it all becomes part of a moment which is thus more memorable than if you were just given some food. On the other hand a surprise can be equally or more valued if given just right.
Perhaps one big bias that is different from person to person is how much you over/underestimate actions you haven't seen. Girls in love have a tendency to believe the object of their affection does everything perfectly while we are all pretty sure that someone we hate always does a lousy job.
 

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That's my mum 100%. She expects me to it before she gets home, but if I do, she'll tell everyone how irresponsible I am because I 'don't do work'. She's apparently an ENFJ though, but I guess dominant Se users would actually see the difference when they walk in, but my mum is always preoccupied with whatever her thoughts are.
 
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Hmmm. The closest I have come to experiencing somebody needing me to demonstrate doing something has been within academics, with the quiz/test/exam vs. homework structure. The "in action" is a gauge and double-check for ability and an attempt to see through any misdirection or lies (in other words, it is easier to cheat on homework than on a test). Getting a driver license requires one to prove competency, too.

Regarding workplace and home life, however, I haven't really experienced somebody needing to prove trustworthiness by watching the action. The results are typically apparent enough if observed within the proper time frame and gauged against the previous conditions. If a situation cycles through changes relatively rapidly, then it may cause an occasional viewer to misperceive a lack of effort that had been done.

Perhaps you are getting at our varying levels for needing to address issues regarding order or cleanliness. Some people may find various piles of books sitting around a room (in addition to those in bookcases) as being orderly so long as they are outside of foot traffic. :blushed: Others may find that to be slovenly and sloppy and out of sorts. They may instead find order akin to 5S shadow boarding to be the acceptable and tolerable level of array. This may also get at response times, sense of urgency, deadlines, etc.
 
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