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I tend to blame myself with so much. Today I got a glaring example to the contrary. It is not always my fault. Sometimes it is the other person who screws up and it affects you deeply.

Fellow INFJs - don't blame yourselves for everything. Sometimes it really is Not you but them.

Can't comment on details but I put it up here just because I know we have a tendency to be hard on ourselves. Hey, it ain't always you.
 

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I tend to blame myself with so much. Today I got a glaring example to the contrary. It is not always my fault. Sometimes it is the other person who screws up and it affects you deeply.

Fellow INFJs - don't blame yourselves for everything. Sometimes it really is Not you but them.

Can't comment on details but I put it up here just because I know we have a tendency to be hard on ourselves. Hey, it ain't always you.
Among me friends... and in my workplace... I try to keep everyone from fighting, and everyone happy. We're good at "maintaining that balance" and we also feel great doing it. That skill and desire almost starts to become a responsibility.

When there's a breakdown it only feels natural for me to blame myself for not helping sooner, or better.

Where I think it's vital not to blame ourselves... is in love and war... the two inherently unfair human practices.
 

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This thread is AWESOME. I actually started a thread last week talking about how INFJs tend to blame ourselves: http://personalitycafe.com/infj-forum-protectors/30186-blaming-ourselves-v-blaming-others.html

I think sometimes I really need someone to tell me what you wrote: "It is not always my fault. Sometimes it is the other person who screws up and it affects you deeply." And even to this day, there's a tiny nagging feeling at the back of my heart that keeps blaming myself for many things. Even for things I have "moved on" on. I hate how I get affected so deeply to the point I'm so invested in that person (and empathizing with that person), that I blame myself for things.
 

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This sounds silly, but I am actually going to print this: "It is not always my fault. Sometimes it is the other person who screws up and it affects you deeply" and put it on my room door so I can read it before I go out.
 

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I want to tattoo this across my forehead...shout it from the rooftops (if it were in my INFJ nature to shout). I have been cursed my entire life with this crushing, paralyzing guilt...family, friends, coworkers; that I somehow to blame. It feels as if I am responsible for everyones' peace of mind, and all that everything I am, everything I want to be, must take a back seat to that. Of course, I do realize that this is not true, it is all in my head (though it feels more lodged in my core). Thanks.
 

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I like this post. It took me a year or so to stop blaming myself for a certain situation. It will take another year to fully get passed it without it coming up mentally I think.
 

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Weird, I always blame others.

edit: except in one situation, where it was really something I could've manned up to...I hope for a second chance tho :D
 
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