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Discussion Starter #1
Hey guys, I'm new to this forum. I decided to join solely for the purpose of trying to perhaps achieve some understanding of my true MBTI type. Hahaha, I've been a lurker to these forums for years so I suppose it took me a bit of "Ahh screw it" convincing to finally get me on board.

Originally, when I first stumbled upon the topic of the MBTI in high-school, I initially thought I was an INFJ for years. Looking at the cognitive functions, I don't think that's true at all.

Now, after going through life and shit I'm stuck between seeing myself as a: INFP, INTP, or INTJ. I don't believe in the half-for-half system where you'd spot some people doing IXFP, INXP or anything like that. I believe in being one type only, throughout your entire life (unless you're stuck with some mental malady which would lead to an extreme personality change, for that I apologize). And the sole purpose of why I'm making this forum post is so I can be more sure on what type I am exactly.

If we were to drill deeper into that answer, of why I want to find out what it is... err... exactly. It's because I feel lost, and displaced in the world and I just feel plain unsatisfied with myself in general. I believe, when I'm absolutely certain what type I am exactly. Cognitive functions and all. Only then can I finally start working on myself, strengthening those weak-points and appreciating how I truly process the world. Not to change. Hell no. Rather, to be come a better version of myself.

I look at the cognitive functions, and I'm tripped between FI and FE. Truth be, I'm horrible at social situations. Absolutely terrible, although I feel the need to express whether I'm happy or depressed to a close-family member all for the sole purpose of solving my depression/anxiety. If I don't know someone very well, I will sit in absolute silence not being able to utter a word... and if I can't relate to someone, I can't fake being interested in what they have to say... even for social grace. For me, it just feels extremely in-genuine giving off this falseness. I believe telling trusted people, or admitting to some of my inner-failings to the outside world, I can go forward a step closer and solve it. So I can get rid of a ton of emotional pain. I don't and can't handle emotions too well, when I feel strong emotions such as love, sadness or am hurt by anything it sticks with me and I feel this need and desire to resolve it as quick as possible. If I don't, it hangs over me like a cloud for days on end.

I draw for an outlet, emotional I suppose. What incites happiness in me is crafting a world I can escape to. Creating love interests or an ideal, I can cling to. I've been in an abusive relationship some months back, and that damaged a lot of my perception towards romance and the idea of it. I idealized him to a point, where it wasn't healthy and it took a lot of strength in me to break away from that, even though I desired to cling to that ideal I had created for him. He acted as a shell for that. I suppose after that, I've become more pessimistic towards the world and how we're sold these ideas only to find out they're not based in reality at all. I guess you reading this, would believe I'm INFP.

I think I am too, but I'm not too sure. That's why I'm making this post. What confuses me about my true type is this:


>I work in an Academic field, and am working towards a Doctorate. I'd hate to say it, but I love research more than drawing/art creation. I'm a far better researcher than I am artist. Why do I say that? Research comes more naturally to me, I'm able to make connections much faster than draw. And I've been drawing a lot longer, than I've been researching. Art however, takes hours for me.

>I'm not sure if I possess a weak FE (INTP) or FI. From what I've read, FI-doms prefer to keep their emotional states to themselves. It is very difficult for them to hold an open conversation about their emotions to anyone, for example... an FE-dom would openly talk about themselves being depressed. I've found I have no issues with divulging this information to anyone willing to listen, the reason for this is because I believe talking about my own issues with someone trusted would be able to solve the emotional turmoil i'm experiencing within.

>I don't feel like I fit the stereotypes of an INFP. Being calm, and kind. I can be extremely harsh, and terrible to people when I'm stressed out. I've gotten rid of most of my child-hood friends this year, because I couldn't connect to/ relate to them anymore. Did I feel guilty about it? Of course. But I just can't go on pretending that things are okay, when they aren't. There's a limit for me.

And that's my mess, of uhh thoughts. Hopefully that should be able to shed light/help on what I am. If not, I'd appreciate it if you could tell me how I could umm... be more clearer or something like that.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
I'll also attach this, because reading back on my last post. That's a bloody mess. Hopefully, this should clear up some things:

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?

FI-FE: The need of interacting externally to solve inner-emotional turmoil.


2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?

To find purpose. For the longest time, I had some direction and drive which was pushing me forward to achieve. That was to move overseas, and find my 'soul-mate', or 'love of my life'. I would craft these imaginary situations in my head, these ideals of us meeting and falling in-love. It's a bit difficult of me to divulge this to anyone. I'm ashamed that I do that, but I do.

It wasn't until after this year of being in an abusive relationship, reality set in. And now I am am left with confusion, of what my true motive/driving force in life is now.

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.


I can't remember. Maybe the beginning of this year, before the stress of studies and the abusive relationship took hold.

4) What makes you feel inferior?

Everything. I hate who I am. I hate how no matter what I do, no matter how much I achieve. It truly is never enough. I don't feel whole, and I don't feel complete. I feel inferior to just about everybody else who seems happier than I am.

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)

I'd have to say guilt. I sometimes do make rash decisions, and after making such decisions I am found often asking myself "How does that other person feel?" Or "Are they okay?" And the ultimate: "Did I make the right choice?"





6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?

Yes. Of course. I take pride in my work, it's a reflection of myself. I believe that quality in terms of the project's outcome will make or break the message. My emphasis on a project is about respecting the subject-matter, or medium. Being extremely tedious. Not half-assing anything. Attempting to cover all bases. If I find myself lacking in any area, I become ashamed of myself and I feel the need to improve on it.


7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?


Making Sushi. That's a shit-ton of fun, I kid you not. Therapeutic, and relaxing as hell.

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)

Theorize, and memorize things. I wouldn't classify myself as a hands-on-learner at all. I like to memorize things, and expose myself to outer stimuli, so that I may join those little fragments together to create something else. Whether that be a concept, or art piece.


9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?


I try to be as organized as possible. This is something which doesn't come naturally to me. I had to train myself to do this over years and years. The reason why, is so that I can afford myself more room to creatively express myself. The moment I start to neglect any organization on my part, is the moment my life falls to pieces.



10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?


I love, love, love the principles and values behind a project. I like to ask questions: Why do this? What motivated you to do this? What's next? Hahaha, that kind of thing. Also, logic comes second after the principle. Will this idea/project actually work, and what will it do. What's its purpose?


11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?

I can't say for certain. I'm a stubborn person I've been told, so I suppose that would align with "What you believe."

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?


I prefer one-on-one, and sadly I'm impulsive when it comes to what I say. I'm very careful when I'm in a melancholic mood, because I fear rejection. But when I'm at my best, I prefer to say what comes to my mind. I have been told I lack a filter.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?

That honestly depends on what it is.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?


I tell them to go to hell- hahaha! I'm just joking, what friends of mine would invite me out? None of them. So I choose watching my favorite show, or reading a book at home.


15) How do you act when you're stressed out?

I'm an absolute arsehole when I'm stressed out. An absolute one. And I feel absolutely terrible after those meltdown periods/aggression I have towards people. They don't deserve it. I lash out, I tell people to go away, and I accuse people of doing things they haven't. It's my own insecurities talking out. After I hype myself out, I go and cry for a bit and I apologize to try and quell those horrible feelings swirling inside of me.


16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?


People whom are fake, and in-genuine. I absolutely detest people like that. People who boast, and gloat about their achievements and how great their life is. It's like... you idiots, you aren't fooling anyone. I'm not buying your bullshit.

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?


Anything deep. Philosophy, science, art, zany pop culture or music.


18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life


Probably socialization. I'm a hermit.

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?

I have no idea. I haven't asked them in a while. Last time I asked them to describe me in three words. That was:

Hard-working, Perfectionist, and honest.

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?

I'd rather be working to be honest. I hate days off and holidays, makes me think about life too much. Makes me venture too deeply into myself. Then I end up hating myself. I need distractions... actual contributive distractions.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Reading back on this, and thinking more on the subject. I'd be comfortable in saying, I am probably an INFP.

Yeah, I'll go with that.
 

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Let’s fast track this. Find yourself more organized or disorganized? Also what are emotions like to you?
 
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Discussion Starter #5
Hey, finally a person! Hi there.

Organized or Disorganized? Hmmm, we'd have to put that in context. In a natural state, I find I'm disorganized unless I micro-manage EVERYTHING. I have a poor concept of time too, I have to set time in increments. In fact, I have about three planners/schedulers. If I go a day without planning, that's it. My life becomes a mess.

I'm a constant procrastinator also. I have this constant need to do tasks, but am afraid of doing them. I am very hard on myself when I procrastinate... I honestly am. I dread all the time I have wasted.

------

What are emotions like to me. Jesus, that's a difficult question :laughing:

Ummm... They change, a lot. Depending on what situation I'm in. I feel them strongly, I get hurt easily. Constructive-Criticism doesn't hurt me at all, being through College I trained myself to use it for its intended purpose. To improve a project/objective. Never attach yourself too personally to a project, for that reason. It has an intended purpose. I separated myself from it, so that it hurts a lot less.

However, when it comes to criticism directed to me, such as insults about who I am and why I do things... god that hurts. I just can't let an argument go I've been told. I'll grab onto it, trying to figure out why someone would think that way, and I really look into myself deeply.

When I get too overwhelmed/stressed, I end up melting down and crying my eyes out. That helps a lot, that's my coping mechanism.
 

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Hi RubberNipples! :happy:

Just off of what I've read in your posts, you are INFP! My reasonings will get a little messy but here we go:

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?

FI-FE: The need of interacting externally to solve inner-emotional turmoil.
If you're enlisting external help to solve your inner turmoil, then you may be an enneagram 6, or at least a 6 wing. Questioning others to seek information. But also a enneagram 5 since you say you enjoy research more than artistic pursuits. I research more than I create as well! Though creative activities are a great pastime, I find learning things that pique my interest are more of a time sink.

Fe is going to support more group harmony and general societal values. Fi would be more internal values. I would even take it farther to say Fe is more focused on other people's emotions rather than their own. Almost sacrificing self's needs to ensure everyone else is taken care of. In that regard, how would you consider your experiences with managing other people's emotions and needs when you interact with them?

I'm an absolute arsehole when I'm stressed out. An absolute one. And I feel absolutely terrible after those meltdown periods/aggression I have towards people. They don't deserve it. I lash out, I tell people to go away, and I accuse people of doing things they haven't. It's my own insecurities talking out. After I hype myself out, I go and cry for a bit and I apologize to try and quell those horrible feelings swirling inside of me.
Te insults followed by guilt are hallmarks of the stressed INFP. Like...trust me on this one.

People whom are fake, and in-genuine. I absolutely detest people like that. People who boast, and gloat about their achievements and how great their life is. It's like... you idiots, you aren't fooling anyone. I'm not buying your bullshit.
Here you just confirmed you don't use Fe. I'm not trying to bash on ESFJs or ENFJs, but they do seem to lack their own values in the drive to make sure social values are taking care of everyone else. They aren't fake, just harmonious to the point of having to generalize to ensure literally every person is taken care of. And by enlisting general societal values, they minimize the chance of causing conflict by "going against the grain" so to speak.

To find purpose. For the longest time, I had some direction and drive which was pushing me forward to achieve. That was to move overseas, and find my 'soul-mate', or 'love of my life'. I would craft these imaginary situations in my head, these ideals of us meeting and falling in-love. It's a bit difficult of me to divulge this to anyone. I'm ashamed that I do that, but I do.
Daydreaming ideal partner based on your own personally held value system.

I don't feel like I fit the stereotypes of an INFP. Being calm, and kind. I can be extremely harsh, and terrible to people when I'm stressed out.
Te inferior grip. Can I guess, critical nit picks and deep cutting insults? Earlier this year I channeled a lot of Te grip. Cursing out my boss in front of other co-workers/employees being an example. Stereotypes don't matter, especially since Fi manifests through a wide range.

INFP to the maxim00m. :kitteh: We can discuss any other specific uncertainties if you have them though!
 

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I'm a constant procrastinator also. I have this constant need to do tasks, but am afraid of doing them. I am very hard on myself when I procrastinate... I honestly am. I dread all the time I have wasted.
Te manifests as the inability to set one’s external desires or plans into motion.

“I have many goals I want to accomplish but often have trouble tangibly setting them into motion. I fear being perceived as incompetent by others.”

Then you're hard on yourself. Self-inflicted Te criticism.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Hi, UberY0shi. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my forum post.

I agree with your reasoning of INFP, and that makes me happier. Especially with your rationalization as to why I fit the type.

I've done the Enneagram test... I think last year. And If I remember, the result I got was 6W4 Or 4W6. So you're definitely on the ball there. I'll do another test to try and narrow that down. It may have changed since then.


"... In that regard, how would you consider your experiences with managing other people's emotions and needs when you interact with them?"


I would say, I seek harmony in myself before pushing towards resolving any external conflict. For example, in a group situation, if me and one of the members had a disagreement. I would run that through my mind/marinate on those thoughts to try and find out what went wrong. I.E: Play back those thoughts.

I can't forget things easily, or move on from a situation UNLESS I have proper closure. In times of stress however, those horrible moments come up again wherein I can use that as evidence to bash myself more.

I've been told I think someone is still bothered/thinking about a situation, even though 9/10 they would have let go and forgotten about it. It's the way I operate, and I assume they do the same which is often narrow-minded. If that makes any sense.


Here you just confirmed you don't use Fe. I'm not trying to bash on ESFJs or ENFJs, but they do seem to lack their own values in the drive to make sure social values are taking care of everyone else. They aren't fake, just harmonious to the point of having to generalize to ensure literally every person is taken care of. And by enlisting general societal values, they minimize the chance of causing conflict by "going against the grain" so to speak.


Hmmm no, I agree here. I don't use FE. However, My entire family are all FE-DOM. I love all of them, and I don't believe any are fake (save for one sibling), but I'll be the first to admit. They don't understand me, and I don't understand them. They aim for that generalized way of seeking harmony, whilst I like to focus on the individual aspect of experience. I don't fault them on that. I say they're not fake because they actually go out of their way to make a meaningful connection with those they care about, and they do care about me. It's just they have a different way of approaching/confronting socialization, and I can appreciate that.

In terms of detesting fake-ism, I'm talking about fakery associated with glibness. Such as car salesman or anyone looking to get something out of people, for their own benefit. The people who plaster a smile on their face, and talk in those extra high-pitched voices where you can just smell through their bullshit. The people not looking for a genuine connection, the people concerned with surface-level materialism and using this as a basis to be liked and admired in society.

I absolutely detest that. I remember reading the novel 'Catcher in the Rye', and although a dated book by this generation, the main character Holden is very relatable to me. Wherein he thinks everyone is a fake/ a phony.





Te insults followed by guilt are hallmarks of the stressed INFP. Like...trust me on this one.


Damn hell, so that's where all of that horrible self-critical bullshit is coming from? The TE being the fourth function, must screw a lot of INFPs over. Would you have any advice on how I may "strengthen" or fix this? This is something which has been plaguing me since high-school.


Te inferior grip. Can I guess, critical nit picks and deep cutting insults? Earlier this year I channeled a lot of Te grip. Cursing out my boss in front of other co-workers/employees being an example. Stereotypes don't matter, especially since Fi manifests through a wide range.


I'm very hard on myself, perhaps even more than anyone else. The horrible internalized insults I give to myself on a daily basis haunts me. They're very blunt, and very cutting like you say. I've done a similar thing like you, cursing out people in front of other people. I've done so, because there's just so much you can keep in.

Honestly however, that's a part of me I don't like. And I would like to develop and fix in the future. It's the part of me which pisses me off, and that's critical aspect is probably TE-grip talking again.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I did the Enneagram test again, and I am a 5W4. So your pegging was right.

5: I must be knowledgeable to survive. [Academics]
4: I must be unique/different to survive. [Authenticity]

6 also came close, in terms of security. But 4, the aspect of being true to myself is stronger.
 

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RHETI test? There's a couple of tests out there and whatnot. Tritypes tend to peg it best. Perhaps you're a 4w5, 5w6, XwX? Strong 5 wing plus a dominant 5 secondary type is possible. 5w4 sounds awesome. Some INTJs are like that. INTJs.... *sighs in admiration* :blushed::blushed::blushed:

Proper closure is a must, I don't even know if that's even a personality thing. Say, like unanswered questions, why, what did I do wrong, why did you wrong me, etc. Fi-Si thought loops get BRUTAL. BRUUUUUUTAL. Join me in the darkness of unhealthy INFP hermit processing self-wallowing mode. Ohhhh the pain.

Fi: I'm unhappy with where I am in life.
Si: Remember back then when you did X, Y, and Z? That's why you're here.
Fi: I did those things, yeah, I'm a bad person.
This is the wallowing.

Fi: I wish I had more friends that understood me.
Si: Remember when you went to that party? You only saw boring, fake people and felt bad.
Fi: Parties make me sad. Fuck parties.
Assuming everything in the future would be like your past painful memory.

Fi: I'm lonely. Sad. I don't do anything with my life.
Si: Last time you were happy and around friends, you were back at X job.
Fi: I need to go back there, I want to be happy again.
Yeah, but what if you can't go back there? Hmmmmm? HMMMMMM?

I'm very hard on myself, perhaps even more than anyone else. The horrible internalized insults I give to myself on a daily basis haunts me. They're very blunt, and very cutting like you say.

Honestly however, that's a part of me I don't like. And I would like to develop and fix in the future. It's the part of me which pisses me off, and that's critical aspect is probably TE-grip talking again.
Fi: I want to fall in love.
Si: Remember the last date? It went badly.
Fi: I suck at socializing...
Si: UberBird0 is awesome at dates.
Fi: Because UberBird0 is funny. I’m not funny.
Si: Nobody wants to go on second date with you because you’re not funny. No point in first dates.
Fi: If I am funnier then I will date better. I will fix that.
You may be experiencing a Fi-Si thought loop. Yeah, inferior Te grip sprinkle/peppered in there as well.

This is all pretty much hermit mode. I got this from The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide, not my conversations.
https://www.amazon.com/Comprehensive-INFP-Survival-Guide-ebook/dp/B01LYCID5O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1512898027&sr=8-1&keywords=comprehensive+survival+infp+guide

Hate it when I can't read someone. It means what they say doesn't line up with what they think. How do I know this? I usually don't, I think. But when I cannot apply empathy to them, then it's a red flag. I'm being manipulated. Do I look like a doormat? *sees enneagram 9* Uh... wait a minute. No! I'm not a doormat, I will not tolerate this treatment! *doesn't speak up* Ahhh fuck. *assumes person is trying to manipulate and goes along, knowing damn well what's going on* I feel you. It's lame.

Develop your inferior Te function? OHHHHHHH I wish.... I really wish. I have searched for information on this. It might actually be a battle against the passage of time. Inferior function begins to develop around 40s and 50s. Yeah, fuck that wait, right? LOL. Call us late bloomers if you will. We take a long time before we get comfortable with productivity? Eh, I doubt it. My answer is mindfulness. Meditation to the max. Mel Robbins' Five Second Rule, book not needed. YouTube explains it well enough. Take action. Take it now. Don't hesitate, that's when brain kicks in and explains why you shouldn't act. A rationalization to explain your hesitation.


Not sure how you feel about meditation, sans the cultural bias surrounding it or what have you. Besides the woo-woo and all that, the scientific benefits are real. And I want to say immediate. But like exercising, it’s a mental-muscle skill building sort of thing. Two minutes a day is sufficient to see benefits. That’s like… laying in bed and breathing before you go to sleep.

https://www.headspace.com
Try it out, please. :tranquillity: :hugs:

It helps with the realization that you’re not attached to your thoughts. Not identified with them.

“I am sad.” vs. “Oh, I feel sadness right now.”

Really feel for you right now. I had my dark moments two years back or so. It’s ugly. I don’t think you can see my signature right now, so I’ll paste it in here:

4w5 // 5w4 // 9w1, HSP INFP-A
[HR][/HR]Dum spiro spero.[HR][/HR]Rule #1: Socialize. Rule #2: Learn. Rule #3: Eat Healthy. Rule #4: Exercise and Play. Rule #5: Relax and Meditate. Rule #6: Express Gratitude. Rule #7: Plan Finances. Rule #8: Help Others. Rule #9: Travel. Rule #10: Sleep.
Rule #∞: Practice Self-Compassion.

Last rule is very important. Gotta find a way to get your little voice to speak to you like how you'd speak to a close, cherished friend. Treat yourself with patient, accepting, understanding kindness. Meditation has been the single thing that led to my understanding and application of self-compassion.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/functioning-flourishing/201604/3-ways-turn-self-criticism-self-compassion

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201702/how-develop-self-compassion

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/nurturing-self-compassion/201703/how-cultivate-more-self-compassion

Whew. Anyway, yeah. :cool:
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I did three tests, The Rheti, Similar Minds and Enneagramology.

The Rheti gave me the results of: 4W5
Similar Minds gave me the result of: 5W4
Enneagramology yeilded: 1,6 and 4

So I don't know, hahahaha!

Glad I'm not the only one with the need of closure, I've been told I can't let things go and that I'm too sentimental.

Thank-you for the link to the book: "The Comprehensive INFP guide. I'm going to order that now, so I can take a step forward in understanding myself better. Gotta know what I'm dealing with here.

Yeah, I've definitely got sprinkles of FI-SI loops in there with the TE grip. I find, when I lock myself away from new experiences due to an overbearing TE telling me anything I do is complete shit and unrealistic, it deters me from using my FI-NE in a healthy manner. When that happens, FI-SI slips in, because past memories (SI) is the only sort of fodder I have to analyze and ruminate in... which isn't healthy at all. I.E: Looking back on those experiences. Reading a lot of posts from INFPs in the past, which had to go through something similar, I suppose I need to expose myself to situations involving the novel. So that many more possibilities, and connections can be formed, and the FI can do its work in assigning 'feeling' to it.

Develop your inferior Te function? OHHHHHHH I wish.... I really wish. I have searched for information on this. It might actually be a battle against the passage of time. Inferior function begins to develop around 40s and 50s. Yeah, fuck that wait, right? LOL. Call us late bloomers if you will.

Ahh dammit, that sucks balls. The problem I have with TE, is that it can be so thrilling to use it, for a short time. Kind of like a guilty pleasure. But after a while it drains the hell out of me, and it becomes absolutely taxing mentally. So I suppose being in my early 20s, the primary function which is being developed right now is NE, and I'm approaching it in a horrible manner via jumping the stack and using TE in favor of NE. This addiction to TE, manifests in the INFPs desire to seek out those with strong TEs. Such as INTJs, and ENTJs which I've found myself doing a lot.


My answer is mindfulness. Meditation to the max. Mel Robbins' Five Second Rule, book not needed. YouTube explains it well enough. Take action. Take it now. Don't hesitate, that's when brain kicks in and explains why you shouldn't act. A rationalization to explain your hesitation... Not sure how you feel about meditation, sans the cultural bias surrounding it or what have you. Besides the woo-woo and all that, the scientific benefits are real. And I want to say immediate. But like exercising, it’s a mental-muscle skill building sort of thing. Two minutes a day is sufficient to see benefits. That’s like… laying in bed and breathing before you go to sleep.
.

Ay, no bullshit. I've been thinking about getting into meditation as of late, but I haven't had the metaphorical kick in the arse to jut me in that direction of doing so. I think that's an excellent idea, I already go jogging so I can provide myself with extra endorphin's... but it seems I've been neglecting my mind, and the defrag of it also. The place is a messy basement, a flooded messy basement, with old memories blocking the drains at the bottom... and horrible memories floating the surface and that kind of shit.

Really feel for you right now. I had my dark moments two years back or so. It’s ugly. I don’t think you can see my signature right now, so I’ll paste it in here:

Hahaha not yet! The 15 posts thing, but honestly. Thank-you so much. You kick a lot of ass, and I appreciate your help. I'm going to study up on the resources you've provided, and gather a lot more.

Thank-you.
 
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