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Discussion Starter #1
Full disclosure: I also posted this on Reddit, but haven't had much of a response there:

https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/7n9dj2/is_anyone_willing_to_have_a_discussion_with_me_in/

Hi all,

Long story short, I've been typed as INFJ by Jungian analysts, INTJ by MBTI practitioners and ENTJ by people who deal with a new-ish theory which deals with how the cognitive functions manifest through our body language. Yeah - I move in quite a few circles :p

Needless to say, it's a bit of a headf*ck.

For sure I'm an Ni user. Whether or not that is dominant I do not know. I also do not know whether I use Fe or Te, because there are myriad ways in which both can present differently, or look the same, and on, and on. I need clarity.

So, if anyone has any questions for me - or any way of gaining further clarity and insight - I'd be very much appreciative.

Cheers.

Oh, and happy new year!
I subsequently recalled that this forum existed, and that I'd probably get more of a response here.

If anyone can help shed any light on this conundrum, I'd really appreciate it.

Oh, and if it helps at all, I'm 32 / male.
 

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How do you feel about being put in charge of a group/project?
(Can be either work or social/informal setting)

You are put in charge of a group/project in an emergency. What are your first steps?

How do you generally handle sharing information with others? Is it better to give too little or too much?

How do you handle sharing feelings with others? Do you feel a sense of responsibility when others share feelings with you?

What adjectives would your friends/acquaintances/coworkers use to describe you?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks for the questions. I'm currently dealing with two screaming kids (happy screaming) so this may seem a bit incoherent...

How do you feel about being put in charge of a group/project?
(Can be either work or social/informal setting)
I'm fine being in charge. I'm typically good at seeing who is good for what task. I'm not much of a task-master, though; I hate being micromanaged myself, so once everybody is on the same page and knows what is expected of them and when results are due, I'm more than happy to let people do things in their own way(s) and time. I might need the odd update report, but that isn't me breathing down anyone's neck - it's just me clarifying things in my own mind.

You are put in charge of a group/project in an emergency. What are your first steps?
First I'd TL;DR the situation for everyone to make sure every member of the team was in the loop, highlighting the end goal(s) and timeframes etc. I'd then assign tasks to people based upon their individual skills. As always, I'd be in the thick of it myself - I lead by example, and cannot abide by 'leadershit' (sic) that doesn't like to get dirty hands.

How do you generally handle sharing information with others? Is it better to give too little or too much?
Historically I have been too open with others. Often to my detriment. As I've gotten older, I've learned to be sparing with what I reveal. People use knowledge as leverage; you can't trust everyone to be honest and good-natured... which I am, in spite of being told that I sometimes seem callous or aloof. I tend to laugh such accusations off, because it simply isn't true - but I'm fine being seen that way if it means others don't try to take advantage.

How do you handle sharing feelings with others? Do you feel a sense of responsibility when others share feelings with you?
Tough one. I tend to not know how I feel about things personally and therefore don't much talk about my own emotions, but it isn't hard for me to empathise with the feelings of others. What I will often do however is offer solutions rather than comfort or mollycoddling. I see feelings as symptomatic of an underlying problem. It is that 'core' of things which I strike at. I don't have any interest in the surface of someone. I tend to actually ignore it, because seeing that which lies beneath has always been second nature to me. I've even had friends tell me that they can't look in to my eyes, because when my gaze meets theirs they feel somehow violated, haha.

(They should >_>) ;)

What adjectives would your friends/acquaintances/coworkers use to describe you?
That depends entirely on who you speak to. Some close friends say that I am warm, likeable and even charismatic, but can also be callous, cold and unsympathetic. I've been accused of having a "Swinging brick" instead of a heart - but they know that in reality, I do care deeply and I will help anyone who is in need.

I asked my wife just now, and she said:

"Gentle, honest, trustworthy, determined, finicky and stubborn". The "Gentle" might be worth mentioning, because in the past my friends have referred to me as a "Gentle giant". I'm 6'2" and 200lb / fairly heavily muscled without even trying, and so my stature can be intimidating to some. Until they speak to me of course. I hadn't even considered this until recently; I was accused of coming across as intimidating (hilarious to me) and upon mentioning it to a friend, he said that when a person doesn't know me, my height can be somewhat threatening. So yeah. Gentle giant. Apart from when I get angry and punch 6' fridges across the kitchen or put my fist straight through a desk. Fortunately, such moments are very few and far between these days.

In the past I probably wore my heart on my sleeve, but over time (and with some training - the wife is ENTJ) I think I've hardened up a lot. Perhaps this is where the confusion comes from. Hmm. I do wonder if I'm using Fe but said Fe has been emulating my wife's Te for years, because I 100% find her 'balls to the wall' style impossibly alluring.
 

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Thanks for the questions. I'm currently dealing with two screaming kids (happy screaming) so this may seem a bit incoherent...
Cute! :eek:ctopus:

I'm fine being in charge. I'm typically good at seeing who is good for what task. I'm not much of a task-master, though; I hate being micromanaged myself, so once everybody is on the same page and knows what is expected of them and when results are due, I'm more than happy to let people do things in their own way(s) and time. I might need the odd update report, but that isn't me breathing down anyone's neck - it's just me clarifying things in my own mind.
This sounds more Ni-dom than Te-dom to me. Good at taking the reins, but they don’t accidentally end up holding them all the time. Good with not micromanaging, because they hate it personally. Letting people use their own ways and time is more Ti than Te...less focus on efficiency/best way of doing things.

First I'd TL;DR the situation for everyone to make sure every member of the team was in the loop, highlighting the end goal(s) and timeframes etc. I'd then assign tasks to people based upon their individual skills. As always, I'd be in the thick of it myself - I lead by example, and cannot abide by 'leadershit' (sic) that doesn't like to get dirty hands.
Again, this sounds more Ni-dom over Te-dom to me. Taking the time to assess and recap isn’t quite as action oriented as I’m used to seeing Te be. Also, the desire for everyone to know everything (as opposed to knowing just enough to complete their portion) is more Ti than Te.

Historically I have been too open with others. Often to my detriment. As I've gotten older, I've learned to be sparing with what I reveal. People use knowledge as leverage; you can't trust everyone to be honest and good-natured... which I am, in spite of being told that I sometimes seem callous or aloof. I tend to laugh such accusations off, because it simply isn't true - but I'm fine being seen that way if it means others don't try to take advantage.
Again, more Ti than Te. My husband is an ENTJ (hi! Welcome to the married-to-ENTJs club. Expect your secret decoder ring in the mail in 4 to 6 weeks) and he’s naturally more reticent with information. Looking at it from the outside, I would describe the way he dispenses information as ‘strategic.’ He gives people what they need to know, when they need to know it, and not much more than that. It was only recently that I heard the thought process behind this described, and had to verify with him that this was what he based it on. “Te sees information as actionable. Therefore it only gives out information it wants someone to act on.” Whereas Ti tends to think more information is better. If everyone has the big picture, it’ll be easier to get everyone on the same page.

I can relate very much to your learning process, becoming less open with age. Partially through seeing this strategy (haha, back to that word again) pay off for my husband; partially through learning the hard way that some people will try to use information against you. The fact that you learned this suggests to me you’re more Ti than Te.

Tough one. I tend to not know how I feel about things personally and therefore don't much talk about my own emotions, but it isn't hard for me to empathise with the feelings of others. What I will often do however is offer solutions rather than comfort or mollycoddling. I see feelings as symptomatic of an underlying problem. It is that 'core' of things which I strike at. I don't have any interest in the surface of someone. I tend to actually ignore it, because seeing that which lies beneath has always been second nature to me. I've even had friends tell me that they can't look in to my eyes, because when my gaze meets theirs they feel somehow violated, haha.

(They should >_>) ;)
Understanding the feelings of others better than your own is a pretty standard Fe>Fi trait.
Just like Te seeing information as actionable, Fe sees feelings as actionable. If someone is expressing their feelings, Fe feels obliged to step in and offer assistance. Your desire to offer solutions, get to the core, etc. seems to align with this idea rather well. Fi is very much empathetic, but it is good at finding moments when it related to this emotion and expressing a kinship. Validation of feelings. The ‘call to action’ isn’t there.

That depends entirely on who you speak to. Some close friends say that I am warm, likeable and even charismatic, but can also be callous, cold and unsympathetic. I've been accused of having a "Swinging brick" instead of a heart - but they know that in reality, I do care deeply and I will help anyone who is in need.

I asked my wife just now, and she said:

"Gentle, honest, trustworthy, determined, finicky and stubborn". The "Gentle" might be worth mentioning, because in the past my friends have referred to me as a "Gentle giant". I'm 6'2" and 200lb / fairly heavily muscled without even trying, and so my stature can be intimidating to some. Until they speak to me of course. I hadn't even considered this until recently; I was accused of coming across as intimidating (hilarious to me) and upon mentioning it to a friend, he said that when a person doesn't know me, my height can be somewhat threatening. So yeah. Gentle giant. Apart from when I get angry and punch 6' fridges across the kitchen or put my fist straight through a desk. Fortunately, such moments are very few and far between these days.

In the past I probably wore my heart on my sleeve, but over time (and with some training - the wife is ENTJ) I think I've hardened up a lot. Perhaps this is where the confusion comes from. Hmm. I do wonder if I'm using Fe but said Fe has been emulating my wife's Te for years, because I 100% find her 'balls to the wall' style impossibly alluring.
The accidentally intimidating thing doesn’t narrow it down too far, unfortunately...I’ve seen both Te-doms and Ni-doms come across in this manner, albeit for different reasons.

Ha! ENTJs are impossibly alluring! :love_heart: And the longer you’ve had to develop traits you admire, the harder it becomes to type your actions. Inner wiring is the most helpful...what comes naturally/instinctively vs. what have you learned? It sounds like you’re leaning toward the Fe/Ti axis being the natural wiring and the Te/Fi axis as the learned behaviors.

A couple random thoughts:
You’re verbose. I’d go Ni-dom over Te-dom for that one.
You’re sensitive to how your actions appear from the outside (explaining how your answers might look, or how your leadership might be taken). This reads as Fe.
**
All in all, I’d put it together as you most likely being an INFJ.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Please correct me if I’ve misinterpreted any of your responses. And welcome to the forum!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Awesome post, thanks! Cool to know that you're also in the 'Married to ENTJ' club.

Do you ever find yourself in awe of their ability to get things done? Some days all I can muster is sitting in a darkened corner, listening to music and/or browsing the internet. My wife can be even more exhausted than myself, yet she'll still manage to organise the kids, do the housework, etc. I often feel terrible for not being able to match her pragmatism, but I do help out in other ways (and also do my fair share when I have the energy!)

... not that I lack energy. We're just exhausted 24/7 because between two < 4 year olds and full time jobs, we tend to lack both energy and time.

Re: Te vs Ti, the only thing I'd say about that is that I've never really been a 'knowledge for the sake of knowledge' person. I like the TL;DR of everything. I don't like people giving me all of the information, as this often precludes action; I much prefer to know the bare minimum, like where we are and where we need to go - then I can formulate a plan and execute.

I worked with an INTJ for a seven years (we're close friends now) and actually, I'm far more prone to leap in to action than he is. He'll plan everything and come up with an incredibly efficient, precise solution. My approach is sloppier - I get into action and refine as I go. The end result is similar, though - we both achieve whatever goal we had in mind one way or another.

Thanks again. That was a brilliant response.
 

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Do you ever find yourself in awe of their ability to get things done? Some days all I can muster is sitting in a darkened corner, listening to music and/or browsing the internet. My wife can be even more exhausted than myself, yet she'll still manage to organise the kids, do the housework, etc. I often feel terrible for not being able to match her pragmatism, but I do help out in other ways (and also do my fair share when I have the energy!)

... not that I lack energy. We're just exhausted 24/7 because between two < 4 year olds and full time jobs, we tend to lack both energy and time.
Hahaha!!! I know that feeling. Hubby will suggest relaxing because we’re tired, and 20 minutes later he’s loading the dishwasher, running a load of laundry, and suggesting we take the dogs for a walk.

Fortunately there’s not a pushiness to it (i.e. he realizes most of us are NOT energized from Te activities) but it’s definitely a noticeable difference in what our definitions of relaxing are. Probably one of the reasons we do so well with simultaneously working in separate projects. We can each play to our individual strengths.

Which makes me think of one more question: what activities put you in a flow state?

Re: Te vs Ti, the only thing I'd say about that is that I've never really been a 'knowledge for the sake of knowledge' person. I like the TL;DR of everything. I don't like people giving me all of the information, as this often precludes action; I much prefer to know the bare minimum, like where we are and where we need to go - then I can formulate a plan and execute.

I worked with an INTJ for a seven years (we're close friends now) and actually, I'm far more prone to leap in to action than he is. He'll plan everything and come up with an incredibly efficient, precise solution. My approach is sloppier - I get into action and refine as I go. The end result is similar, though - we both achieve whatever goal we had in mind one way or another.
Thanks for the correction there. I’m a 5w6, so there may be a bit of my, “I want all the information!” bleeding through, haha...or it might be a good argument for Te>Ti.

Also interesting that you’ve got an INTJ to compare timing/methodology with, and that you’re noticing differences. My guess would be it’s a similarity of Ni on top, with Fe/Ti vs. Te/Fi...but the more info you can provide on similarities or differences between the two of you, the easier that will be to discern.

Overall, I’d still cast my vote in terms of likeliness as:
INFJ
INTJ
ENTJ

But that’s simply my two cents!
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Hahaha!!! I know that feeling. Hubby will suggest relaxing because we’re tired, and 20 minutes later he’s loading the dishwasher, running a load of laundry, and suggesting we take the dogs for a walk.
At least he knows how to relax for a short while! I sometimes (legitimately) wonder if my wife understands the concept of 'chilling out'. She only stops to sleep, ha. God knows where she gets all her energy from.

I do experience some pushiness from her - but so too does she from myself, I guess. Just not as often, because I'm far more prone to acknowledge the fact that I'm exhausted / take some time to relax.


Which makes me think of one more question: what activities put you in a flow state?
Writing, probably. Sometimes physical exercise too. The world just melts away, as though I'm in a total Zen-like state. Sometimes driving or listening to music. In fact, I'd say that - left to my own devices - just living is enough to get me to a Zen state; perhaps there's more to flow than I'm assuming here.


Thanks for the correction there. I’m a 5w6, so there may be a bit of my, “I want all the information!” bleeding through, haha...or it might be a good argument for Te>Ti.
Maybe! I thought I was a 5 at one point, but there's no way. I do enjoy gathering data on specific topics, but the details are seldom retained. Far more often it all gets absorbed and stored in a somewhat vague and abstract way. A hazy mental construct of sorts.

I'd say I'm probably a 1w9 or something along those lines.

Also interesting that you’ve got an INTJ to compare timing/methodology with, and that you’re noticing differences. My guess would be it’s a similarity of Ni on top, with Fe/Ti vs. Te/Fi...but the more info you can provide on similarities or differences between the two of you, the easier that will be to discern.
You know what? In terms of feeling, he goes deep. He is extremely controlled emotionally. Me, not so much. People tend to know what I'm feeling because I wear it on my face - even to the point of being disciplined in work once because I was "Looking at colleagues as though wanted them to drop dead on the spot".

:|

I dunno. If I do use Fe, I certainly don't use it very effectively. I'd like to connect with people in a meaningful way, but I can't. I prefer to discuss ideas. I've historically pissed a lot of people off inadvertently (inability to see how I come across) largely due to my being a tad too honest. I even got fired from a job once for telling a manager to (quite literally) go fuck themselves. Perhaps not the hallmarks of Fe.

Either way, I greatly appreciate your input!
 

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Writing, probably. Sometimes physical exercise too. The world just melts away, as though I'm in a total Zen-like state. Sometimes driving or listening to music. In fact, I'd say that - left to my own devices - just living is enough to get me to a Zen state; perhaps there's more to flow than I'm assuming here.
I’m not sure how deep you want to go into theory, but if you’re interested in a deep dive into flow states, Dario Nardi’s Neuroscience of Personality is a great read.

First things first, a brief definition of flow state: “This state occurs when we are awake and calm, it may easily occur when we busy ourselves with an activity for which we have creative expertise, whatever that expertise is. We might also enter this state when we are copacetic, open to whatever comes next.” “During a synchronized macro state, all regions are also at maximum amplitude. This means all regions are engaged to work together or at least get to work in a consistent manner. This is a state of ‘flow.’”

Of course, Dario Nardi had people hooked up to an EEG and was actively monitoring them as they were led through a battery of tests and activities. You can’t do that for yourself, but you can self-assess, identifying which activities put you into a flow state. These would be activities in which you are fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the activity. Complete absorption would result in a loss in your sense of space and time.

Okay, onto the specifics of what gets each type in the zone:
These are summaries borrowed from Psychology Junkie.
https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2017/08/10/use-brain-based-myers-briggs-personality-type/
The book goes into greater detail, but this will at least get you started. (The book is helpful in delineating subtle differences, especially if you’re able to narrow down your dominant function, but you’re having a harder time identifying what your aux/tert functions are up to.)

INFJ:
 

INFJ Brain Activity

People with the INFJ personality type show 49% of their pre-frontal activity on the left side of their brain, and 51% of their pre-frontal activity on the right side of their brain. INFJs (and INTJs) use a whole-brain, zen-like pattern regularly. According to Dario Nardi, “this pattern occurs when all regions of the neocortex are in synch and dominated by brain waves that are medium-low frequency and very high amplitude.” Other personality types show this pattern when they are engaged in an area of expertise (for example, a trained performer acting in a play). The curious thing about INFJs is that they show this state whenever they are asked to do the opposite. For the INFJ this zen-pattern occurs when they have to tackle an unfamiliar, unusual problem or envision the future. When given a problem or mystery, INFJs try to harness all neocortex regions in order to “realize” an answer. Each brain region offers a different perspective, and the INFJ is able to reconcile various unusual perspectives to find a best-fit answer or strategy to a mystery or puzzle. INFJs are happiest when they use their brain in this way. They are most able to reach this state when they are free from sensory distractions, interruptions, or demands. This is why most INFJs need regular alone time in a quiet environment where they can use their preferred mental process at its full potential.

INFJs also show strong activity in temporal region T6. T6 is in charge of predicting as well as recognizing symbols and faces. We use this part of our brain when we make a statement like “this will happen” or when we project or strategize about the future. We also use this part of our brain when we give symbolic meaning to images. This all falls in line with INFJs being Ni-dominant and Ni being focused on making predictions and thinking symbolically.

INFJs dislike rote practice or repetition. They like to keep their minds open to burning new neural pathways at all time. This means that they are generally not “specialists” in a particular activity. Instead of repeating a process to perfection, they mentally seek out new information and methods.

INFJs rely heavily on occipital regions O1 and O2. These regions are in charge of visual processing and pattern recognition. They also show increased activity in the prefrontal region FP2. This region is used when a person deals with novel information, admits negative input, and mutes emotional responses so reflection on negative input can occur. This area is active when we ponder our sense of self, use self-control, and restrain our impulses. INFJs take time to consider various perspectives by using their whole-brain pattern and also by using FP2 regularly.

Finally, INFJs show tremendous activity in frontal region F7. This region helps us “step into” another person’s shoes and empathize, engage in mental rehearsal, and consider verbal expression. According to Stress Therapy Solutions, region F7 also helps us to decode the intentions of others.


INTJ:
 

INTJ Brain Activity

People with the INTJ personality type show 48% of their pre-frontal activity on the left side of their brain, and 52% of their pre-frontal activity on the right side of their brain. INTJs show a whole-brain, zen-like pattern when they process information. Dario Nardi says that “this pattern occurs when all regions of the neocortex are in synch and dominated by brain waves that are medium-low frequency and very high-amplitude.” Other personality types show this pattern when they are engaged in an area of expertise (for example, a trained chef making their specialty dish). The curious thing about Ni-dominant types is that they show this state whenever they are asked to do the opposite. INTJs and INFJs show this zen-pattern when they have to tackle an unfamiliar, unusual problem or envision the future. When given a problem or mystery, INTJs try to harness all neocortex regions in order to “realize” an answer. Each brain region provides a different perspective, and the INTJ is able to reconcile various unusual perspectives to find a best-fit answer or strategy to a problem or puzzle. INTJs are happiest when they use their brain in this way, and are most able to reach this state when they are free from sensory distractions, interruptions, or demands. This is why most INTJs need regular alone time in a quiet environment where they can use their preferred mental process at its full potential.

INTJs also show high activity in temporal region T6. T6 is in charge of predicting, understanding emotions, facial recognition, and symbol recognition. We use this part of our brain when we make a prediction, as in “this will happen” or when we project or strategize about the future. We also use this part of our brain when we give symbolic meaning to images. This all falls in line with Ni being focused on making predictions and thinking in symbolic images.

INTJs dislike rote practice or repetition. They like to keep their minds open to burning new neural pathways at all time. This means that they are often not “specialists” in a particular activity. They are eager to keep seeing things from new perspectives and to continually learn new things instead of focusing in on one specialized area over and over again.

Finally, because INTJs use Extraverted Thinking (Te) they use efficient mental energy. They show brain activity in left-brain regions for hearing, seeing, recalling, and deciding. This allows them to quickly manage measurable information to make an evidence-based decision. This also means that they are stimulated by task completion and error-correction.


ENTJ:
 

ENTJ Brain Activity

People with the ENTJ personality type show 63% of their pre-frontal activity on the left side of their brain, and 37% of their pre-frontal activity on the right side of their brain. They are very efficient with their mental energy so that they can maintain stamina during ongoing challenges. They rely most heavily on left-brain regions for hearing, seeing, remembering, and deciding. These vital regions rely on measurable concrete information and give the ENTJ their famed evidence-based decision making skills. These regions also allow them to generally have good hand-eye coordination, diction, and a propensity for arranging information in charts, tables, and diagrams.
ENTJs rely heavily on a section called FP01. This is located in the front-central portion of the brain by the eye socket. This region notes errors in the environment and filters out undesirable information, including negative criticism or feedback. This is why ENTJs tend to easily critique or point out errors that they see, but they can also filter out or block negative feedback or evaluations from others and not get “riled up” by it. They can also filter out unnecessary data to zone in on key points. This region also helps them to suppress emotional responses.

Finally, ENTJs also show high activity in region F8 which handles emotional regulation, social inhibition, and emotional/personal values. Region F8 works in conjunction with FP01 to notice errors in values and emotional reactions. Accordingly, ENTJs experience high brain activity when there is a negative value-judgment made against something or someone, such as “stupid plan”, “dumb idea”, or “selfish person”.


FWIW, the activities that get me into flow state are: reading, writing, problem solving.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thanks for that! I've actually spoken to Dario in the past - I didn't realise he had his book out now. It has been a good while since I moved in those circles.

I'll check it out, thanks!
 

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ENTJ by people who deal with a new-ish theory which deals with how the cognitive functions manifest through our body language.
This is a thing? without giving it much thought I'm immediately suspicious because I feel like body language is a learned/performed/gendered/cultural etc behaviour (then again, I guess you could argue so are cognitive functions and thought processes). But I'm interested... is there a name for this theory?

as for your type, my dad is an ENTJ so I am somewhat familiar with them although that's obviously a small sample size. To me, you are not giving off ENTJ vibes in your writing at all. You come across like a dominant Ni user.
 

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I think this post makes me lean toward a Te user, especially combined with the answers to your management questions earlier. I work with both an INTJ and an ENTJ, and you come across similarly, particularly if you say you struggle sometimes with coming off a bit less warmly than you might like. Both of these TJ types come off as quite aloof but really have a gooey carmel center. :) They are good managers (never micro managers.) The ENTJ tends to act while thinking much more than the pre-calculating INTJ.

A rule of thumb for functions can be that all of the extroverted functions are seen by their users as outwardly "actionable." For example, an Fe user sees the feeling states of others as something we need to act on, whereas an Fi user is comfortable simply observing these states to the extent they can. For Te users, the chief purpose of information is effective action, but for a Ti user, collecting and assimilating information for the sake of more rationally ordering our internal beliefs is more satisfying by far. The same dynamic applies for Ne users and Se users. Just a thought.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
This is a thing? without giving it much thought I'm immediately suspicious because I feel like body language is a learned/performed/gendered/cultural etc behaviour (then again, I guess you could argue so are cognitive functions and thought processes). But I'm interested... is there a name for this theory?

as for your type, my dad is an ENTJ so I am somewhat familiar with them although that's obviously a small sample size. To me, you are not giving off ENTJ vibes in your writing at all. You come across like a dominant Ni user.
http://cognitivetype.com/

It's interesting at the very least. In my mind, anyway.

I think this post makes me lean toward a Te user, especially combined with the answers to your management questions earlier. I work with both an INTJ and an ENTJ, and you come across similarly, particularly if you say you struggle sometimes with coming off a bit less warmly than you might like. Both of these TJ types come off as quite aloof but really have a gooey carmel center. :) They are good managers (never micro managers.) The ENTJ tends to act while thinking much more than the pre-calculating INTJ.
That's a conundrum, ha!

Some individuals do see me as warm. Those who get the bristly side of me tend to do so because they are acting inappropriately, or demonstrate incredible incompetence. Yeah - I know competence is an NT thing, but I refuse to believe that people in general aren't ticked off by ignorance / stupidity to an unreasonable degree.

But yeah. I'm not exclusively seen as cold and aloof. Historically I was typically perceived by 100% of the people I dealt with as warm and charming. At age 24 or so, I got a backbone and learned how to say "No". Since then it's a toss up - some see me as warm and approachable, whereas others perceive me as somebody you don't mess with.

A rule of thumb for functions can be that all of the extroverted functions are seen by their users as outwardly "actionable." For example, an Fe user sees the feeling states of others as something we need to act on, whereas an Fi user is comfortable simply observing these states to the extent they can. For Te users, the chief purpose of information is effective action, but for a Ti user, collecting and assimilating information for the sake of more rationally ordering our internal beliefs is more satisfying by far. The same dynamic applies for Ne users and Se users. Just a thought.
Hmm. Another conundrum.

When younger, I was naturally attuned to the feelings of others. I could spot a 'sad' person a mile off, and would naturally gravitate toward them with the hope of understanding where they were at, and hopefully cheering them up. I was also that annoying guy who would go out of his way to ensure that somebody who seemed a tad left out was brought into the fold.

Now that I'm older, however, I tend to have precisely zero time for people and their shit. Perhaps it's straight up exhaustion, though. I work full time (fairly demanding job in IT) and I have two young kids, so both the wife and I are always on our knees with sleep deprivation and stress due to workloads. We're pretty much getting by in survival mode at the moment.

In such states, I'm every bit as blunt as she is... in fact, she sometimes tells me that I'm more ENTJ than her!

I'm probably not, though. I could never match her energy and drive. Not even if my life depended on it. Unless of course I'm abusing amphetamine - which is something I used to do during periods of stress. Inferior Se much? Heh.
 

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How do you feel about being put in charge of a group/project?
(Can be either work or social/informal setting)

You are put in charge of a group/project in an emergency. What are your first steps?

How do you generally handle sharing information with others? Is it better to give too little or too much?

How do you handle sharing feelings with others? Do you feel a sense of responsibility when others share feelings with you?

What adjectives would your friends/acquaintances/coworkers use to describe you?
You are put in charge of a group/project in an emergency. What are your first steps?

You can't use this as constructive analysis, and/or otherwise because depending on a person's experience, more likely they will respond according their first response training.. In many of today's workplace environments, there has been regular safety and threat assessment trainings implemented- as a result of high alert statuses.

How do you generally handle sharing information with others? Is it better to give too little or too much?

This INFJ section is known for divulging very intimate and personal information- going against the INFJ private trait. Going too far with this question may run you the risk of "offending" many of those on this exact INFJ section...

How do you handle sharing feelings with others?

Again, this is all this INFJ section is all about- sharing personal feelings without necessarily being aware of the possible consequences.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I think first and foremost I'm an Ni dominant. Looking back on my life, I can see plenty of instances where I've prioritised the well-being of others above my own. Perhaps from this we can infer Fe over Te.

My somewhat stoic demeanour is likely attributable to culture (Brit) and my more recent hard / aloof characteristics are probably indicative of an Ni-Ti loop.

IDK. Speculating, but probably accurate.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Yeah. Sorry for the mini-bump but if anyone cares, I've realised that I've probably just been Ni-Ti-ing like a MF for the past few years, also dipping in to Se quite frequently because I'm always stressed out and exhausted (kids / demanding full time job).

I started opening up to people again recently and it feels good, man.

Cheers for all the input in this thread.
 
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