i've lost my charm

Any recent changes in your life?

woodenmemories said:

Sorry for this desperate post but i kind of have no idea what to do.
I can't talk to people anymore, and it's not because i'm not trying.
I do but it always ends up weird and short.
They feel uncomfortable around me.
Somehow i'm not able to get along with human anymore...

Any advice ?

Click to expand...

Maybe you're trying too hard? I go through periods like this and I think it's inner turmoil that shows in me....try doing nice things for people. Simple things. Like, when I go to home depot and see someone loading their truck alone, with a cart full of wood and supplies, I'll offer to help. Usually they're more than welcoming and we interact...it helps remind me why I like interacting...I like helping...beng that person will to do what others aren't ...converse, offer a hand for no reason other than I can and they can use the help. It also will make you feel genuinely good about being you and, even with inner turmoil, that will shine through.

Just stop worrying about it and find a way to find your center and passions again. Everyone isn't going to respond to you positively. That's o.k. Just try to be who you are naturally and the right people will respond to it. Spend a little indulgent alone time going places you love to go or listening to music you love to listen or whatever inspires you. Nothing's lost, just misplaced.

When was the last time you took a bath? Maybe you smell?

^^; I think you are trying too hard.

woodenmemories said:

Sorry for this desperate post but i kind of have no idea what to do.
I can't talk to people anymore, and it's not because i'm not trying.
I do but it always ends up weird and short.
They feel uncomfortable around me.
Somehow i'm not able to get along with human anymore...

Any advice ?

Click to expand...

It's okay to be quiet. Just because you're a Extrovert DOESN'T mean that you HAVE to talk.... There are quiet extroverts out there. You need to be around others to recharge your batteries. It doesn't mean you have to say anything. Just a smile or even facial expressions is sometimes enough. Then when you have something to say, then say it. Don't force yourself. I once had a problem with it being too quiet around my friends that I talked for the sake of talking. It gets awkward! So I learned to be okay with silence.

You'll be fine. I know it. Just follow what I told you and you will be okay.

The King Of Dreams said:

It's okay to be quiet. Just because you're a Extrovert DOESN'T mean that you HAVE to talk.... There are quiet extroverts out there. You need to be around others to recharge your batteries. It doesn't mean you have to say anything. Just a smile or even facial expressions is sometimes enough. Then when you have something to say, then say it. Don't force yourself. I once had a problem with it being too quiet around my friends that I talked for the sake of talking. It gets awkward! So I learned to be okay with silence.

You'll be fine. I know it. Just follow what I told you and you will be okay.

Click to expand...

I think that is great advice!

How did you get used to dealing with silence?

cara_cara said:

I think that is great advice!

How did you get used to dealing with silence?

Click to expand...

I felt that it's okay to be quiet. I realized that communication doesn't just involve words. Also, I think that I was pushing to be seen as a interesting and fascinating person. So I realized that I am those things without having to say much. It can be the same for you. Also, it gives me time to introspect and think even in the presence of others. I'm not straining to win people. I stopped caring. I'm just me.

well, first i thought it'll turn out alright and i think i'm not that bad with people. it's not like i'm a total outsider. but still i feel unconnected and actually people used to come towards me. (not that they would avoid me)
now it just feels awkward...

@The King Of Dreams ^_^ Nicely said, man.
@woodenmemories Also remember that it's ok to take some downtime away from people, too. Sometimes you can get overstimulated and not realize there's a problem or something bothering you. A little bit of quiet reflection alone can help you sort out your thoughts and figure out what's going on. It may just be that you have a lot of things to process and your brain is going crazy trying to juggle a million thoughts. I find classical music helps put that jumble into some kind of order for me to concentrate.

No you haven't it is just time to reflect and learn. Take this time to look inside and see what needs healing.

Like @RedFraggle said, introspection. Take time for yourself and reflect, ask yourself the hard questions. There maybe things bothering you that you're not even aware of at this moment. I know myself there are times i bury my emotions so deep, i need to be alone to sort everything out. I can also go into denial about things that need attention, the only way i can do that is to give myself the freedom to be a bit selfish, think about my needs.

You haven't lost your charm, you lost your way. Focus on you, your charm will return once you are happy within

Hi!

I've had periods like that, so I can relate. Like the wise people above me suggest, you are probably going through some (emotional) changes. Maybe you are just overworked/tired/stressed out. Maybe you and those people grown apart. There are so many possibilities.

Give yourself space to be who you are and don't think you have to talk to people because you are an ENFP. Accept the fact that you are feeling like this at the moment and take good care of yourself (sleep, food, talk with a friend). Your charm will come back to you.

I'm so glad seeing this thread because I feel like this alot! And even putting on the facade of charm is a REALLY hard thing...sometimes I'm able to grab a little of it but it takes forever and requires alot of mental pushing (which ironically, feel like literal pushing. it's physically tiring)
You guys know what I'm talking about?

That happens to me, usually after I've finished a project. This is because I don't interact with the people I used to anymore and move on, then realise there's no one as interesting as the people before to be so social with, so the world seems less of a place to talk.
idk if that's what you mean, but that's what I experienced.
so don't worry, lots of people go through this stage.
I think, maybe you need more close friends?