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Discussion Starter #1
Hey,
in almost all relationships, there is one person who is at least slightly more dominant.

So far I always thought on average, the man is dominant, the woman is submissive.

I am male and high on J and always thought, that this trait was the reason, why I seek dominance on relationships. But then I learned about the MBTI and the gender statistics and found out, that J is mostly a female attribute. And this made me question EVERYTHING.

If women are J, they are actually the dominant part. They decide how fast and how far the relationship proceeds. It just seems to seem, that women are submissive, because they are rather passive. Men approach the women. Men work hard to impress the women. Men have the stronger bodies. So men must be the active part and women the passive. Or might this just be an illusion after all? I think yes.

Yes, men have the stronger bodies and the higher sex drive, that makes them more active during sexual interaction. But I believe that on the way to the sex, women have the lead. And I explain why.

At the very begin of the interaction, there is the beauty of the woman. Her beauty actually starts the whole interaction. If she would be ugly, men would not come. On top of that, women are more E, so they do send more signals, even before they talk with men face to face, while men just stare passively.

Men are usually the ones, that go to the women and start the direct conversation. This creates the illusion of the confident, masculine man that approaches the girls of his desire, like he is the active and dominant part. But the reality is actually 99% of men are too afraid to talk to a girl on the street. Men are actually cowards on this. And for good reason. Imagine living in a small tribe in ancient times and you hit on every girl and they feel molested. This would get you actually killed. So you needed to stay passive until you get chosen. How? By female signals.

But women who would be too open also had problems. They would have been seen as slut and would have ended up with the first best guy, who is not the best at all and so she would give birth to bad genes and might even be left alone, because the guy was a bad choice and so she died out. Only the J women, those who were picky, would wait for the right man and pass on good genes together.

So, women are actually the leaders in relationship. Even though they enjoy rough sex, because its a proof, that the man is actually healthy and capable of protecting her, she only gives up the physical control for a moment, but in fact, she is the one who decides when to spread legs. So she is mentally in charge.

Sure, men can rape a woman, but most men would never do this.

So, even though men created all that stuff like art, science and so on, it was mostly to impress women. So women are the actual leaders on average.

However there are also men with the J attribute. And as I said, I do have it strongly. I thought always to be very manly, but the more I thought about it, the more I found out, that I am actually totally feminine.

And now I am confused and would like to hear your opinion on how F, P, femininity and masculinity define the dominance of a relationship.

Thanks.
 

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♂️ INFJ 5w4 // IEI-Ni
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Judging doesn't mean dominant (nor would Perceiving mean submissive), so I'm afraid you're basing this on a false premise.

Think about it, someone who's more inclined towards structure and order could value that from a subordinate position just as much as a dominant one.



Also it's disagreeable that art or science done by men was mostly sexually motivated. That's just based on a sexist stereotype.


I have some advice, you shouldn't concern yourself with if you're feminine or masculine. Just recognize that you have both in you like everyone does.
 

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I think it has to do more with functions than j vs p, but of course everyone is different:

Strong Se generally means more dominant.
Strong Ni generally means resistance to power dynamics in any way, so, not comfortable dominating but also not traditionally submissive at all.
Strong Te generally makes people pretty dominant.
Strong Fi tends to make someone more submissive, or at least indirect.
Strong Si seems to be more dominant, slightly.
 

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Friend, you are mixing up theories and ideas I wouldn't touch with a 10ft pole.
The letters in MBTI don't have genders.

Masculine and Feminine don't necessarily mean being active and passive. It is hard to explain but it has more to do with biological functions/ hormones.

What does being a man mean to you?
What is a woman to you?
 

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I found the opening post quite entertaining. Needed a good laugh for sure. It's amazing how logical and simplistic some people can be. To a point that it actually sounds robotic. :LOL:
 

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The only rule of thumb I go by is that if her balls are going to bigger than mine, she gets to deal with the most responsibility in our relationship.

 
Yes, I do mean that both literally and metaphorically.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Judging doesn't mean dominant (nor would Perceiving mean submissive), so I'm afraid you're basing this on a false premise.

Think about it, someone who's more inclined towards structure and order could value that from a subordinate position just as much as a dominant one.
Had to think about that a while.Yes, a subordinated person might benefit from the whole structure. But only because the structure offers more control and safeness than one would get alone. The highest amount of control and safeness however would have the highest rank. So, I still believe, that J strives for dominance.

What does being a man mean to you?
What is a woman to you?
On a psychological level I would describe the man as IxTP and the woman as ExFJ.

Man: The I makes men more introverted, which enables them to focus on building stuff, like tools, weapons or improving survival strategies. The T lets them handle the math to be successful. And the P makes them open to try something new, take risks so humanity could get a step further.

Woman: The F enables them to care for others, especially babies and sick people. However this makes them less good at rational thinking, which is a weakness. This is compensated by the E, which enables them to express their needs, so others can fulfill them, instead of getting it yourself. And the J makes them very picky, which means they define the structure of society, because they are the ones that can measure best what the babies need.

No. Just look at some ISFJs.
I know one. And she was pretty dominant.
 
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