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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a loner, honestly, and don't have many friends to talk to this about.

So I have bipolar and borderline PD. I am well aware now of its effects. I have been under the "care" of a specific doctor and his 'assistant' for quite soemtime, and I have noticed a decompensation due to their medication.

I addressed the fact that I tried 7 different antipsychotics, all of which lead to parkinsonism and stuttering. I live with my mother at the moment, and she began to cry once she saw the effects (stuttering/odd gait/inability to remember what just went on). I tried to reassure her that they were temporary--but these meds carry a chance of it being permanent.

I told the PA that I may not tolerate dopaminergic antogonists well, and that pretty much her new recommended drug has the same binding coefficients at those receptors. The last time I had thrown my research (not wiki; actual psychiatric journal/biochemical articles) into the wind; I wound up with the same effects.

She then recommends yet another antipsych. I finally let loose and become not so warm "When do you start to realize the overwhelming correlation between dopaminergic antogonists and my reactions, especially when I take only half the recommended dose"

She began to get perturbed, and started to ride the 'borderline' diagnosis, stating it could be psychosomatic. I about flipped--but remained cool--until I called her later. I told her I found it condescening that she said it was psychosomatic. She did not let me finish speaking at all, until I requested again calmly.

Finally, it was over. I said "You're old enough to be my damn mother; I'm the one with the disorder and you get paid to treat it. Why are you so bothered by chemistry? These drugs are chemistry; have you not taken a chemistry course?"

I told my mother; her first response was, "Your bipolar is showing". I quickly remminded her about how she flipped the fuck out and went on a rant when a guy bumped into her car. By rant, I mean she literally cussed the guy out so much that he thought it noteworthy to tell police. She later apologized for this (she's a social worker as well)

I'm quite a science geek (majored in Chem/Math minor Physics doing an MS in Comp Sci on full scholarship), but I try not to throw it in people's faces unless it's called for. My friends say, "Shaun is humble, nice, and caring until you piss him off and he belittles you into oblivion." I gave her about 5 chances, and I EVEN apologized for being hard to treat prior.

I go in today, and she tries to avoid me completely. She calls in the psychiatrist; I have all documentation from psychiatric articles 2007+ showing where the assistant’s errors were. For example, she claimed no cross-tolerance with two medication with known cross-tolerance (she denies this).

The psychiatrist says "TURN THE COMPUTER OFF!" "I have worked with this woman for X years". I'm like "Umm, I'm not making this up, it's on my laptop" Not open at all.

He invites me into his office, to which I say "by the way you perscribed me the 40mg of Celexa, which is known to give people with bipolar mixed episodes". I say this calmly.

He then says what I never have heard a psych say in my life, "You are so annoying; you are a disgusting person; you disgust me so much". He even said he'd call the cops if I did not cooperate(I repeat; I was not yelling or calling him the names he was calling me) I'm shocked, but I slyly look at my laptop and say, "Care to repeat that" to which he says "no."

I leave, and proclaim to the rest of the patients "These guys don't know what they're talking about". Yet, there's this lady there; she's always seem hyper-cognizant, yet as though she has this apathy she's built to deal with the place. She says my name calmly, and somehow it stops my rant.

I walk outside, and a police car is leaving. What I believe this was was bait. If I had went off, they could easily have had me arrested and hospitalized involuntarily--but seeing as I did not, they had no claim. The police saw me leave calmly and turned around.

The lady had called the police--hoping that I went off. In order for the police to come, she must have made up a story, which obviously did not hold if I was boarding my car. The hypercognizant woman at the desk seemed unsurprised by this, and even warned me of their defensiveness. I did not know it was of this caliber...

I leave and go the hospital as I needed sleep. I have been having suicidal thoughts and no sleep for quite sometime. The doctors refuse to give me any of my medication, despite the fact that abruptly stopping benzos (which I've been on for 6 years) can lead to psychosis or death. This seemed of little concern. He kept repeating 'take a benadryl'. I left.

I went to a nurse, and said "So am I just supposed to withdraw and then come to the ER." She said "probably the way it has to go if you have no other way" Physiciatrists have long waiting lists, so I will run out of my needed medication long prior (luckily, I have another source that I won't divulge here).



Today made me see that people are so tied into a label. My own mother, despite having her own angry moments, automatically assumed that my frustrated "I assume you've taken a chemistry course" response was my "bipolar showing" She later recanted, apologized, and became defensive when I brought up how she blew up and missed collection on a car accident because the person drove away while she was busy cussing them out (she moved her car and TOLD the person to pull over :rolleyes::rolleyes:).


I am just a label to people, ultimately. People will exploit the mentally ill if they are angry with them, and these are people we entrust our mental health to. Rather than, what I asked for was an apology (I had apologized for my part as soon as I walked in), they rather have a plot to have me admitted. I would have forgotten all about it had they apologized. Doctors were also reluctant to give me anything that may stave withdrawl, even though they know the effects of abrupt benzo cessation (e.g. coma/death). I was someone "ill," and they couldn't go against "the Doctor"

I would never, but I can see why people shoot places up. I almost don't blame them,
 

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I'm a loner, honestly, and don't have many friends to talk to this about.

So I have bipolar and borderline PD. I am well aware now of its effects. I have been under the "care" of a specific doctor and his 'assistant' for quite soemtime, and I have noticed a decompensation due to their medication.

I addressed the fact that I tried 7 different antipsychotics, all of which lead to parkinsonism and stuttering. I live with my mother at the moment, and she began to cry once she saw the effects (stuttering/odd gait/inability to remember what just went on). I tried to reassure her that they were temporary--but these meds carry a chance of it being permanent.

I told the PA that I may not tolerate dopaminergic antogonists well, and that pretty much her new recommended drug has the same binding coefficients at those receptors. The last time I had thrown my research (not wiki; actual psychiatric journal/biochemical articles) into the wind; I wound up with the same effects.

She then recommends yet another antipsych. I finally let loose and become not so warm "When do you start to realize the overwhelming correlation between dopaminergic antogonists and my reactions, especially when I take only half the recommended dose"

She began to get perturbed, and started to ride the 'borderline' diagnosis, stating it could be psychosomatic. I about flipped--but remained cool--until I called her later. I told her I found it condescening that she said it was psychosomatic. She did not let me finish speaking at all, until I requested again calmly.

Finally, it was over. I said "You're old enough to be my damn mother; I'm the one with the disorder and you get paid to treat it. Why are you so bothered by chemistry? These drugs are chemistry; have you not taken a chemistry course?"

I told my mother; her first response was, "Your bipolar is showing". I quickly remminded her about how she flipped the fuck out and went on a rant when a guy bumped into her car. By rant, I mean she literally cussed the guy out so much that he thought it noteworthy to tell police. She later apologized for this (she's a social worker as well)

I'm quite a science geek (majored in Chem/Math minor Physics doing an MS in Comp Sci on full scholarship), but I try not to throw it in people's faces unless it's called for. My friends say, "Shaun is humble, nice, and caring until you piss him off and he belittles you into oblivion." I gave her about 5 chances, and I EVEN apologized for being hard to treat prior.

I go in today, and she tries to avoid me completely. She calls in the psychiatrist; I have all documentation from psychiatric articles 2007+ showing where the assistant’s errors were. For example, she claimed no cross-tolerance with two medication with known cross-tolerance (she denies this).

The psychiatrist says "TURN THE COMPUTER OFF!" "I have worked with this woman for X years". I'm like "Umm, I'm not making this up, it's on my laptop" Not open at all.

He invites me into his office, to which I say "by the way you perscribed me the 40mg of Celexa, which is known to give people with bipolar mixed episodes". I say this calmly.

He then says what I never have heard a psych say in my life, "You are so annoying; you are a disgusting person; you disgust me so much". He even said he'd call the cops if I did not cooperate(I repeat; I was not yelling or calling him the names he was calling me) I'm shocked, but I slyly look at my laptop and say, "Care to repeat that" to which he says "no."

I leave, and proclaim to the rest of the patients "These guys don't know what they're talking about". Yet, there's this lady there; she's always seem hyper-cognizant, yet as though she has this apathy she's built to deal with the place. She says my name calmly, and somehow it stops my rant.

I walk outside, and a police car is leaving. What I believe this was was bait. If I had went off, they could easily have had me arrested and hospitalized involuntarily--but seeing as I did not, they had no claim. The police saw me leave calmly and turned around.

The lady had called the police--hoping that I went off. In order for the police to come, she must have made up a story, which obviously did not hold if I was boarding my car. The hypercognizant woman at the desk seemed unsurprised by this, and even warned me of their defensiveness. I did not know it was of this caliber...

I leave and go the hospital as I needed sleep. I have been having suicidal thoughts and no sleep for quite sometime. The doctors refuse to give me any of my medication, despite the fact that abruptly stopping benzos (which I've been on for 6 years) can lead to psychosis or death. This seemed of little concern. He kept repeating 'take a benadryl'. I left.

I went to a nurse, and said "So am I just supposed to withdraw and then come to the ER." She said "probably the way it has to go if you have no other way" Physiciatrists have long waiting lists, so I will run out of my needed medication long prior (luckily, I have another source that I won't divulge here).



Today made me see that people are so tied into a label. My own mother, despite having her own angry moments, automatically assumed that my frustrated "I assume you've taken a chemistry course" response was my "bipolar showing" She later recanted, apologized, and became defensive when I brought up how she blew up and missed collection on a car accident because the person drove away while she was busy cussing them out (she moved her car and TOLD the person to pull over :rolleyes::rolleyes:).


I am just a label to people, ultimately. People will exploit the mentally ill if they are angry with them, and these are people we entrust our mental health to. Rather than, what I asked for was an apology (I had apologized for my part as soon as I walked in), they rather have a plot to have me admitted. I would have forgotten all about it had they apologized. Doctors were also reluctant to give me anything that may stave withdrawl, even though they know the effects of abrupt benzo cessation (e.g. coma/death). I was someone "ill," and they couldn't go against "the Doctor"

I would never, but I can see why people shoot places up. I almost don't blame them,
I've had very similar experiences and still face them with my parents who are trying to exploit me - by making file for disability when I'm not disabled and want to work.

What I did with the meds was I cut down a lot. I took only the anti depressants and anti anxiety. You may have to go to another dr. to do that.

Its a crappy situation. I wish I had more to say.
 

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I read ALL of that and, wow, what a strange experience.

I honestly don't know how to reply to this. I (maybe) am going to medical school, and this post may have led me into the direction of osteopathic medicine.

Can you report this to the DoH? NIH? ANYONE?

I don't blame you for acting the way you did. Not at all. If you can back up everything you said with facts, the doctors, being people of science, should accept they were wrong and move forward accordingly.

Are diagnosticians a thing in the US? Perhaps you'd be better with (along w/ your current meds) a more holistic approach. I've heard of diagnosticians, though very simple in practice, do very big things in other countries.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
On a positive note, I got about 2 pages of my software engineering sub-thesis done while they tried to avoid me like the plague. I honestly think they were more upset than I was. They're used to people seeing them for 2 minutes and asking no questions.
 

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I read ALL of that and, wow, what a strange experience.

I honestly don't know how to reply to this. I (maybe) am going to medical school, and this post may have led me into the direction of osteopathic medicine.

Can you report this to the DoH? NIH? ANYONE?

I don't blame you for acting the way you did. Not at all. If you can back up everything you said with facts, the doctors, being people of science, should accept they were wrong and move forward accordingly.

Are diagnosticians a thing in the US? Perhaps you'd be better with (along w/ your current meds) a more holistic approach. I've heard of diagnosticians, though very simple in practice, do very big things in other countries.
Is best if he drops it and moves on. He needs to find another dr. these so called men of science are just nazi drs. The mentally ill have been treated horribly and will continue to be treated so. If he fights this it may backfire, even with evidence.
 

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Is best if he drops it and moves on. He needs to find another dr. these so called men of science are just nazi drs. The mentally ill have been treated horribly and will continue to be treated so. If he fights this it may backfire, even with evidence.
Wow. I'll take note. NOT the kind of doctor I want to be.

Even when I dislocated my shoulder and then, just a couple of months later, broke my hand. I spoke to the doctor each time for, maybe, 2 minutes.

Part of the reason why I don't want to go medical anymore. It's starting to become more for the money, less for the helping others.

Teaching is looking like a sexy option right now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I read ALL of that and, wow, what a strange experience.

I honestly don't know how to reply to this. I (maybe) am going to medical school, and this post may have led me into the direction of osteopathic medicine.

Can you report this to the DoH? NIH? ANYONE?

I don't blame you for acting the way you did. Not at all. If you can back up everything you said with facts, the doctors, being people of science, should accept they were wrong and move forward accordingly.

Are diagnosticians a thing in the US? Perhaps you'd be better with (along w/ your current meds) a more holistic approach. I've heard of diagnosticians, though very simple in practice, do very big things in other countries.
This doctor sees people for about 3 minutes before he moves on to the next. I have never really displayed my cognizance of medication; in fact, I normally feign ignorance so they can feel more knowledgeable. The second they find out I'm not just another dumbass who accepts their word for gold, I was maligned.

It was very much like


without giving face to proper conduct, at all. I am unsure how to follow this up. In a way, I feel like being a disabled black man in the Poconos going against a "Jewish Doctor" kind of invalidates me here. Also, I didn't record them, and if the Physician's assistant is any litmus test, they'll deny it all and try to gaslight as usual.
 

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Wow. I'll take note. NOT the kind of doctor I want to be.

Even when I dislocated my shoulder and then, just a couple of months later, broke my hand. I spoke to the doctor each time for, maybe, 2 minutes.

Part of the reason why I don't want to go medical anymore. It's starting to become more for the money, less for the helping others.

Teaching is looking like a sexy option right now.
I think being a dr. attracts a lot of sickos with a power trip. Not all are bad and Ive had some good experiences but a lot of times I felt like an animal. The medically community too also big business. I'm not saying don't be a dr. because they could always need good drs but depending on what kind you'd have to deal with a lot of politics.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I've had very similar experiences and still face them with my parents who are trying to exploit me - by making file for disability when I'm not disabled and want to work.

What I did with the meds was I cut down a lot. I took only the anti depressants and anti anxiety. You may have to go to another dr. to do that.

Its a crappy situation. I wish I had more to say.
Meh, I actually drove over to the school before the hospital to ensure that I still had time to make up the work I missed while being drugged stupid the last few years under his care. He has horrible ratings online as well. I went to him because of convenience.

I'm still eligible for 2014 graduation and my thesis is lookin' hot, tbh. I'm almost proud of how pressed and distressed I got them without even raising my voice or being anything but passive-agressive

I just feel sad for those that I see go into his office for 2 minutes, only to leave with 4 prescriptions. They don't question him. He's one of those people that worked hard to get to where he comfortably is and does not want a disturbance in that. I don't think he really 'cares' for his clients because--after all--they aren't in the same income bracket as he is.

He does JUST enough to get by (they get paid for a whole hour, even if they see you for 2 minutes. His office is normally packed, so you can do the math).



It kind of made me think of what a professor (almost sure INFP) said to me: "Shaun, you're really smart--become a professor so you don't have to deal with dumb people". I thought it was really haughty as I don't consider myself all that smart, but shit like this makes me wonder.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Another thing: My mother gets on me for not watching NEW YORK fucking news and is a social worker. She works with schizoaffective people, and after 4 months, CAN STILL NOT TELL ME WTF THE DISORDER IS. But she wants to pass the LCSW licensure exam. She's failed three times.

I am sick of people not wanting to learn. Maybe it's because people don't feel stupid enough. I feel stupid a lot when I don't know something, but some people apparently are content with ignorance, even if it's in their own field. I have been writing letters and trying to get her to study.

I just. don.t understand. Why are people so complacent? I'm complacent a lot too--but why are some people content with complacency EVEN WHEN THEY ARE DEALING WITH TREATMENT OF AN ILL PERSON?
 

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Meh, I actually drove over to the school before the hospital to ensure that I still had time to make up the work I missed while being drugged stupid the last few years under his care. He has horrible ratings online as well. I went to him because of convenience.

I'm still eligible for 2014 graduation and my thesis is lookin' hot, tbh. I'm almost proud of how pressed and distressed I got them without even raising my voice or being anything but passive-agressive

I just feel sad for those that I see go into his office for 2 minutes, only to leave with 4 prescriptions. They don't question him. He's one of those people that worked hard to get to where he comfortably is and does not want a disturbance in that. I don't think he really 'cares' for his clients because--after all--they aren't in the same income bracket as he is.

He does JUST enough to get by (they get paid for a whole hour, even if they see you for 2 minutes. His office is normally packed, so you can do the math).



It kind of made me think of what a professor (almost sure INFP) said to me: "Shaun, you're really smart--become a professor so you don't have to deal with dumb people". I thought it was really haughty as I don't consider myself all that smart, but shit like this makes me wonder.

Being a professor sounds pretty cool.
 

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I just wanted to say that I think your frustration and anger is totally legit.

And thank goodness you looked up those meds and did your own research.

I know of other people who have been messed up by being prescribed a mixed bunch of medications. Anyone who dishes out prescriptions like that is a complete and utter quack. And a scumbag of the lowest form.

Most of these medicines they don't even understand. The only thing they know is that is has certain effects. There's a lot of experimentation and fumbling in the dark. And the guys prescribing them? They're picking the medicine from a non-detailed description in a book that lists all the medicines on the market (they're not all like that, but there are many who are).

Anyway, just remember to keep doing what you've been doing. Trust your instincts, do your research, and don't show aggression directly towards them. Remember that we're here, and there are people who will understand. :happy: Also find someone who is recommended by others. Even if it means paying more. Some of the medicines can definitely help people, but you need someone who has a lot of experience with treating people first-hand and actually listens to them.

I hope you'll feel a lot better when you wake up tomorrow. :)
 

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@FlightsOfFancy, I will not tell you what to do but since your diagnosed with bi polar. Every dr you go to will try and give you mood stabilizers (I'm sure you know all of this but just in case) and they are dangerous. If you take them, make sure you get yourself checked out regularly by a gp and not just the required monthly blood test (they have to check for liver failure because of the stabilizers). Eat healthy, and exercise. All those things are needed anyway but if you decide to take mood stabilizers you'll have to change everything to stay healthy.

the thing with medication is it puts you in a hard position. I can either be mentally sick and or physically sick. I don't take meds anymore and I just ride my bad days out. I've found that finding a good therapist helps a lot, to where meds were not needed for me. Exercise for me is hard because of low testosterone but I am undergoing treatment so ill be buff in no time. Lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
@FlightsOfFancy, I will not tell you what to do but since your diagnosed with bi polar. Every dr you go to will try and give you mood stabilizers (I'm sure you know all of this but just in case) and they are dangerous. If you take them, make sure you get yourself checked out regularly by a gp and not just the required monthly blood test (they have to check for liver failure because of the stabilizers). Eat healthy, and exercise. All those things are needed anyway but if you decide to take mood stabilizers you'll have to change everything to stay healthy.

the thing with medication is it puts you in a hard position. I can either be mentally sick and or physically sick. I don't take meds anymore and I just ride my bad days out. I've found that finding a good therapist helps a lot, to where meds were not needed for me. Exercise for me is hard because of low testosterone but I am undergoing treatment so ill be buff in no time. Lol
My GP was floored by how many medications I was given. His question was "how do you even operate?," as I told him I was in grad school. Returning to my p-doc, he said such meds were "common".

I am not a Dr, but I am thinking of taking some meds into my own hands until I can find a suitable one.

If I do this, I might go crazy and end up in a psych ward at worst. If I don't get a p-doc in time (they take forever with waiting lists), I will withdraw and need the ER. I will keep up with my GP in the event I notice any symptoms, but I feel as though I've lost hope in cheap psychiatrists, which is all I can afford. It's been two years, and it almost ruined my graduate career and scholarship.

I should have finished last semester and would've been starting a job for about 70-75k, but I could not sleep more than 4-5 hours every 2-3 days.
 

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My GP was floored by how many medications I was given. His question was "how do you even operate?," as I told him I was in grad school. Returning to my p-doc, he said such meds were "common".

I am not a Dr, but I am thinking of taking some meds into my own hands until I can find a suitable one.

If I do this, I might go crazy and end up in a psych ward at worst. If I don't get a p-doc in time (they take forever with waiting lists), I will withdraw and need the ER. I will keep up with my GP in the event I notice any symptoms, but I feel as though I've lost hope in cheap psychiatrists, which is all I can afford. It's been two years, and it almost ruined my graduate career and scholarship.

I should have finished last semester and would've been starting a job for about 70-75k, but I could not sleep more than 4-5 hours every 2-3 days.
How many were you on? I took 7 different meds and 15 pills all together. I slept 12 hrs everyday, also had the shakes, involuntary movement.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
How many were you on? I took 7 different meds and 15 pills all together. I slept 12 hrs everyday, also had the shakes, involuntary movement.
Oh damn. Wow.

I was on about 4-5 at a time, and I had side effects of each. My days at grad would be about 10-12 hrs, including having to do work (teach) and learn. I couldn't afford being that tired with no appetite.
 

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Oh damn. Wow.

I was on about 4-5 at a time, and I had side effects of each. My days at grad would be about 10-12 hrs, including having to do work (teach) and learn. I couldn't afford being that tired with no appetite.
I was so happy when I got to only 4. Lol


I was on Prozac, Xanax, abilify, lithium, 2 difernt ones for the neurological damage, some pills for sleep and muscle problems, wait that's more then 7.... I prolly took more, lol. I don't remember much from 16-18... I feel like actually just started living 3 years ago. It's like I went sleep as a teen and woke up an adult.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I was so happy when I got to only 4. Lol


I was on Prozac, Xanax, abilify, lithium, 2 difernt ones for the neurological damage, some pills for sleep and muscle problems, wait that's more then 7.... I prolly took more, lol. I don't remember much from 16-18... I feel like actually just started living 3 years ago. It's like I went sleep as a teen and woke up an adult.
Oh damn. How did you make it through high school with that load?
 
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