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Discussion Starter #1
There is an article about this of wikipedia. I would web codependence too to the cardgame as pretty close relative to this emotion. Im having a fairly close female childhood friend with excessive issues in context.

The question is, can jealousy be healed? If yes, how?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Mate, this bird is out of this world in terms of beauty. She gets literally all the attention in the most selective places in London. I get the desire of the guy to keep her out of risk zones, but to do that endlessly? The bird is sufocating! Tells other birds she wants an exit from marriage ONLY cause of that reason

There has to be a way around that issue
 

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Mate, this bird is out of this world in terms of beauty. She gets literally all the attention in the most selective places in London. I get the desire of the guy to keep her out of risk zones, but to do that endlessly? The bird is sufocating! Tells other birds she wants an exit from marriage ONLY cause of that reason

There has to be a way around that issue
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder though. Not everybody has the same standards of beauty. Who knows...you might find a guy who might find your friend to be less attractive than yourself.

Furthermore, personality and hobbies are a good way of attracting guys to you. Having a good grasp on some interests can be a good ice-breaker that could lead to romance.
 

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Feeling jealousy is bad?

No, I don't think so. I don't think this requires any sociobiology to support, but what do you expect, when there are only so many "holiest of holies" to go around, and everybody wants to be in like Flynn?

Makes perfect sense to me. As a matter of fact, and maybe I'm socially retarded or something, but some kind of jealousy frames at least semi-consciously how I relate to other men, viz. as threats/competition or not. And I'm a 41 year-old man who has basically had my fun with the ladies and isn't interested in dating anymore. Regardless, I sometimes enjoy watching a baseball game or talking about boxing matches of yesteryear or trading filthy jokes with the fellows, but they're only of use to me (i) if they can be of financial service to me (ii) they aren't in my way. Male friends, thats a bit different, you know, because they can be amusing and instructive. But good friends aren't that common.

I don't understand post #3.

Can jealousy be healed?

Sure, you can change any feelings you want, pretty much, through habituation and practice. I don't think many British sailors probably went on long voyages in the age of sail with the intention of being buggered regularly, but I'm sure they got used to it. Prisoners too.

People stop smoking all the time, or moderate. Drinking alcohol, too. Chubs become healthy specimens all the time.

Why not with jealousy?
 

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Jealously is not a problem but a reason behind it. Just like anger etc. The solution is to find it and resolve, obviously.

So it's not the bird's beauty... his insecurities maybe? childhood issues? If she doesn't give him any reasons to be jealous, send him to therapy to work on those, I say...
 

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It can be difficult but I think that jealousy can be healed. This can be done if you do something you love to take your mind off of it and try to spend time away from the person you are jealous of. Maybe try to focus on other things about them other than the envy that you feel. You can also think to yourself that despite whatever you may be jealous of, weather it be a relationship, a quality, a possession, or anything else, that the person is probably worse off than you in some area. This may able to rationalize the situation but it can be a bit difficult to let sink in if the feeling of jealousy is strong.
 

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Examine things relating to jealousy that you believe about this person. Then, challenge the belief.

For example, here's something I might say (if I were in your position):

"I believe this chick is better than me because she gets more attention from the guys I like"

Areas to challenge:
- why does she get this attention? Is it superficial or is it based on some trait she has that I don't?
- Why do I like the guys that I do? Are they really that healthy if they fall for this chick?
- What does she have that I don't that makes her "better"?
- What do I have that makes me better?
- Do I ever get attention from guys who she doesn't get attention from?

- - - - - - - - - -

Something else I've noticed about jealousy is that it sometimes isn't about what this person has/gets that I don't, but just what they do with it. When I was first diagnosed with Depression, for example, I'd get irritated/fed up with people who seemingly caused problems, lied, etc... because they had the luxury of choosing what distortions to see in their reality, they could handle sh*t so well that they even created more to handle.

It wasn't that I was jealous of those who had a clearer mind that me; it was that I felt that they had more freedom than I did. It wasn't until I started thinking really hard about conflict resolution, instigating, and generally "causing drama" that I realized that their behavior could be classified as some serious mal adaption, too. I realized that because I know what I was limited by, at least I could keep myself more healthy.
 

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I see some above agree with me that jealousy can be minimized in its intensity as an emotion, recognized, and not acted upon.

I won't set up a sociobiology "just so story," but it seems possible that the emotion itself is burned into the human brain. Of course, so are lots of things, like, I don't know various violent impulses, infidelity to one's romantic partner, I don't know.

Nobody credible believes in a "blank slate" theory of mind anymore, so it's certainly possible humans don't know what is in the mind, really, and I suppose that lack of self-knowledge can lead to great confusion and uncivilized actions.
 
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