[Acey]

If the MBTI is valid and INFP's have similar thought processes and deal with similar issues of self-torment and sadness, can't we all just put our minds together and think of a solution to all this ?

 

[lopare232]

Ha! That would be great. 50% of my self-torment and sadness is me telling myself that there is no point to my self-torment and sadness and that whatever it is is in my head or not that big of a deal. Doesn't work too well, but eventually it does the job. That'd be my advice I guess. Or if you're the type who's a good counselor to your friends, who has a good, objective external view of things...try it on yourself!! It takes work, but sometimes you have a breakthrough and you're like, Damn, that was simple, what was I bitching about that for?

 

[IllBeBach]

I second lopare232. Whenever I am upset I tell myself its not a big deal and that I am over reacting and I have to be a man. Sometimes it makes me feel worse, most of the time however it helps me get things done.

 

[Blueguardian]

Whenever I feel bad, I try to see it like this. I don't like feeling this way. I may not be able to change the cause, but I certainly can change the effect. Feeling bad isn't going to make things better, so why dwell on such sad things?

Since I see it as a feeling bad isn't going to solve the problem, why not try to feel happy while I try to solve it another way? This isn't as easy at times as it may sound...

 

[SenhorFrio]

if theres one thing being INFP has taught me it's that there are no simple solution, most people can tell themselves"don't feel bad"and hat works for them and they move on, i don't have that luxury. i've learned to balance my emotions and the thought process was so complicated and paradoxal that iwon't even try and explain it. bad thing happen and i feel bad. good things happen and i feel good. i don't deny myself any emotion. but the first advice for INFPs:you are not flawed, you don't need to fix yourself.

 

[espresso]

When I get sad I just think how lucky I am not to be one of 27 million slaves: Kevin Bales: How to combat modern slavery | Video on TED.com

 

[Lad]

I never really get upset or sad, but I do get apathetic which can be worse in some cases. I can certainly come off as very cold and callous when I'm like that.

For people who have issues with sadness and stress, my general philosophy is that those moods never really help a situation. They both weaken your immune system and lead to a magnitude of things dying within your body.

An interesting psych study suggested that it's better to get slammed hard with a severe moment of sadness (ie: loss of a loved one) oppose to having general sadness. Evidently, spikes in sadness lead to reactions from the body (hormones, etc) to help combat it. However, basic sadness doesn't necessarily result in the body reacting and thus you spiral down lower and lower.

 

[murderegina]

The self-torment and sadness I used to deal with on a daily basis for about 5 years couldn't even be described simply as that. I had given up on the pursuit of happiness. The way this played out for me was I could see possibilities everywhere. I had so many unfulfilled dreams due to this. And all I had was problems because I wanted so badly for these possibilities to be real, but I didn't believe they could be in my heart.

I've since realized without going through this crisis, I wouldn't be the person I am today. It wasn't learning from my mistakes that helped me..It was realizing I have the world in my hands and being okay with believing that I deserved the love I wanted and wanted to give.

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/26074-my-fellow-infps.html



Read people!!!! ^ I'm serious...

 

[dream on]

If the MBTI is valid and INFP's have similar thought processes and deal with similar issues of self-torment and sadness, can't we all just put our minds together and think of a solution to all this ?

Yes, I would also like that. I was reading another thread here - INFP's mirror of emotions - and I think a lot of the self-torment and sadness has got to do with that aspect of us. I think it was Starflower who wrote:

"I can feel another's emotions as my own, also. With my special one, I can feel what she's feeling (emotionally, not physically), even at a distance, when she doesn't tell me. But with anyone else, I can usually feel what they're feeling just by being in the same room. I think this is why crowds overwhelm me. I don't know how to turn this off without shutting my whole self off.

Along the same line, I really can't draw the line between what she is feeling and what I am feeling. I don't know where I stop and she starts. That sounds weird, but I don't know any other way to put it. Unless she tells me, I will wonder why I'm so sad or happy for no reason. The happy, I just enjoy. The sad can really get me down, though."

I have realised that I have been too empathetic before. It was like I was appreciated the most for being unselfish and being empathetic. As a child a had a strong identity but in my teens I sort of lost myself more and more. I had difficulties identifying with someone or something that reminded me of or was like me. I withdrew more and more and I think I compensated by being more and more empathetic. So with both friends and my family I shut down my own feelings more and more and it has been hard work trying to find myself again. This gets me into this place of being sad, unworthy and I torment myself.

I think we INFP's need to learn to experience and acknowledge our own feelings first, and not block them out, before we empathize with someone else otherwise we loose ourselves. We have to set boundaries for ourselves and others. That is not easy and it has taken me years to realize this. I can also get very angry for not have gotten the help to establish these healhty boundaries between myself and other people. I have been too masochistic... And our culture and society give you the image of girls being "good" by being unselfish and by validating others... My God it´s like everyone telling you to be a doormat and they are eager to wipe their feet on you...

Sorry, these thoughts have been going round in my head for a few days and I feel rather cynical at the moment. I have been sad and self-critical and when I notice it I beat myself up about it, wanting to snap out of it and it gets worse...

I want to be a healthy INFP feeling at peace with myself. I don´t want to mistrust people and feel that I have to protect and guard myself. But that is what I do nowadays. It has probably made me more sane, but now I can more clearly see what people is really like and it scares me sometimes... So many people don´t have healthy boundaries and I am afraid too fall back into that role of being like a therapist...

Like with depression I think the key word is getting in touch with your own anger... You have to be able to feel angry about something some time. In my family it has not been emotionally okey to show that you disagree and want to emancipate yourself... My parents have been far too clingy and I don´t like that and now I can experience that feeling of anger and physical experience of awkwardness when they try to be more close to me than I want them to be. Now I am more free to feel what I feel. But it has at the same time made me more scared of getting close to others and open up to them...but I am better at it when I finally do it. Well anyway, I think this is the only way to go and I will find someone to love.

 

[dream on]

Can someone just please pull me out of my own head! :crazy:

I am closing down my computer and going outside to do something else than going around in circles in my mind... See ya!