[JustChris]

Hi there. This is my first post here (aside from my introduction) so if i violate any rules or procedures just let me know.
Where to start? My name is chris, Im 16 years old. Im fucking angry. You dont see me throwing shit or punching walls
(only sometimes lol) so Im not "traditionally" angry. Im just in a perpetual state of being pissed off... mostly at myself. Come to think of it, I fucking hate myself... I've got a handful of friends (and Im grateful for that) but they dont really give a shit about me. First time somebody mentions that they're sad or that something bad happened, Im there saying "youre the best goddamn person ever, youre amazing, youre awesome blah blah blah" As soon as its my turn to be depressed, nobody really cares. I cant really explain how fucking angry that makes me... the fact that I get attached to people who dont think Im that great... Its not like I blame em for not caring about me, it just makes me realize that Im not really worth caring about haha.

Wow, that was the most in-eloquent, disorganized thing ive ever written hahaha. But there you go I guess.

 

[Volant]

@JustChris Hey, I don't even know you, and I think you're awesome. Welcome to PerC, man- everyone loves everyone here. Oh, and another thing- if your friends don't care a whit about you, they're not your friends. Bad company corrupts good character, and you deserve to hang around people who actually do care about you. Find some better friends than the "friends" you have.

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lux53eDTrg1r3s4gvo1_500.gif

 

[Shale]

I only know one INTP irl and I adore him to pieces. Beneath all that anger and pissed off mentality lurks someone entirely different. You might not know it now, but it's there. You are not worthless, you just have worthless friends. Your opinions, concerns and emotions are very valid. The only thing you need to find is an outlet to get you through this time.

 

[Judis]

Hi there. This is my first post here (aside from my introduction) so if i violate any rules or procedures just let me know.
Where to start? My name is chris, Im 16 years old. Im fucking angry. You dont see me throwing shit or punching walls
(only sometimes lol) so Im not "traditionally" angry. Im just in a perpetual state of being pissed off... mostly at myself. Come to think of it, I fucking hate myself... I've got a handful of friends (and Im grateful for that) but they dont really give a shit about me. First time somebody mentions that they're sad or that something bad happened, Im there saying "youre the best goddamn person ever, youre amazing, youre awesome blah blah blah" As soon as its my turn to be depressed, nobody really cares. I cant really explain how fucking angry that makes me... the fact that I get attached to people who dont think Im that great... Its not like I blame em for not caring about me, it just makes me realize that Im not really worth caring about haha.

Wow, that was the most in-eloquent, disorganized thing ive ever written hahaha. But there you go I guess.

Your suffering is good to last me the week, thank you, I shall thrive from your suffering !

I particularly like the part after the intro, very strait to the point.

If I was to grade your post in entertainment it would b....

I'm sorry, I'l take it from here.
I'd think that this rage of yours isn't completely linked to your so called "friends", is there anything else that you can tell us about your life/past? family, class-mates, associates, etc? anything that you'r able to share I believe would be useful. If you'r not comfortable with talking about your life don't worry, we won't make a fuss.

 

[JustChris]

@Volant Thing is, they're decent people and they do care about me. Just not nearly as much as I care about them.

 

[JustChris]

@Judis Yup, plenty of other stuff. Not to make myself look like even more of a stereotype, but I fucking hate my father. He's never laid a hand on me and he works his ass off to help provide for my family and for that I'll always be grateful (I have it pretty good overall). But to sum it up he's an unhappy, volatile, judgmental fucking prick and I cant stand him. Worst part is that every day that goes by I become a bit more like him. Bitter and psychotic hahaha.
Although, if I were to pinpoint one "item" that pisses me off the most, it's the fact that Im a fuck up. Im not going anywhere in life, havent accomplished anything.

 

[Volant]

@Volant Thing is, they're decent people and they do care about me. Just not nearly as much as I care about them.

Ah, yes, I can actually empathize with you. You really, really care for them, and you do your best to show that, but when it all boils down to it, you're just another guy to them, just another friend. If only they realized the depth of your feelings for them. Have you tried seeking out new, other potential friends?

 

[Shale]

@Judis Yup, plenty of other stuff. Not to make myself look like even more of a stereotype, but I fucking hate my father. He's never laid a hand on me and he works his ass off to help provide for my family and for that I'll always be grateful (I have it pretty good overall). But to sum it up he's an unhappy, volatile, judgmental fucking prick and I cant stand him. Worst part is that every day that goes by I become a bit more like him. Bitter and psychotic hahaha.
Although, if I were to pinpoint one "item" that pisses me off the most, it's the fact that Im a fuck up. Im not going anywhere in life, havent accomplished anything.

Why do you think there are no opportunities for you in the future? What would you like to have accomplished by now?

 

[OutOfThisWorld]

@Judis Yup, plenty of other stuff. Not to make myself look like even more of a stereotype, but I fucking hate my father. He's never laid a hand on me and he works his ass off to help provide for my family and for that I'll always be grateful (I have it pretty good overall). But to sum it up he's an unhappy, volatile, judgmental fucking prick and I cant stand him. Worst part is that every day that goes by I become a bit more like him. Bitter and psychotic hahaha.
Although, if I were to pinpoint one "item" that pisses me off the most, it's the fact that Im a fuck up. Im not going anywhere in life, havent accomplished anything.

Welcome to PerC!:kitteh:

It's good that you recognize the negative aspects that is slowly turning you like your father. This means that you can actively work and distance yourself from said traits.

Also, you're only 16 years old! You are still young and have plenty of opportunities for success! I've learned that age is but a number. It is never too late to start anew and become a star. There are those in their 40s and 50s (and even greater) that have started a new chapter in their lives. The best thing I've did for myself is to stop comparing myself to my peers. My life is moving a bit slower than I would like, but I have a goal in my mind and is actively pursuing to make it a reality. Just remember to always have a goal and let the chips fall where they may. As long as you can look at yourself and say that you've gave it your all, I think no matter what, you would be considered successful! I do strongly suggest to stay in school and pursue a college degree as it will allow more doors to open for you.

Finally, I would recommend getting new friends. At your age, people are going through emotional highs and lows and generally are undeveloped in the emotional/mentally aspects. People are generally self-absorbed and pre-occupied with themselves in high school (and even out in the real world...though, not as much). I am sorry to say this, but friends that you make from high school rarely lasts after graduation because people change, distance creates a void, and what not. Focus on improving yourself and you will draw like-minded people to you!

 

[JustChris]

@Volant sure I have. Just not really a people person to say the least. Most people piss me off... So here I am, a guy who doesnt make friends too easy, whos only friends dont care about him all that much.
@Shale Its kinda hard to explain... I havent done anything worth being unhappy about, but I havent accomplished anything worth being happy about. Dont know if that makes sense.
@OutOfThisWorld Hahaha yeah, Im perfectly aware of how important my "problems" are now (im 16 fucking years old, I have my whole life ahead of me) Just feels like ive never done anything worth being happy about I guess.

I really appreciate the responses, thanks

 

[Volant]

@Volant sure I have. Just not really a people person to say the least. Most people piss me off...

How do people generally rub you the wrong way?

 

[JustChris]

@Volant no single reason. just dont get along with most people. haha sorry, wish i could be more specific than that

 

[Volant]

@Volant no single reason. just dont get along with most people. haha sorry, wish i could be more specific than that

Well, you tried, that's what counts. Some people just aren't as people-y as other people. XD

 

[JustChris]

Well, you tried, that's what counts. Some people just aren't as people-y as other people. XD

Hahah yeah, I suppose thats true. It's just kinda tragically funny because Im a guy who doesnt make friends easily, but the friends I do have dont care that much.

 

[Shale]

Do you feel overwhelmed with the possibilities out there, and cannot chose one to perfect or do you feel you need to do it all? This is something that I see often with "N" types. Would you be able to choose just one thing and work to perfect it ... doing it clearly for yourself and not to solicit responses from others? Also you have a step in the right direction that most people gain a sense of self worth by helping others, but this is in the sense that you help with no expectation of gaining anything in return ... so your friends don't count. Friendships should always be reciprocal.

So my challenge to you is to pick something you enjoy or something you THINK you could enjoy and take it a step further in a positive direction. If you are a marksman (hence your avatar), think about visiting a range often. Perfect it, engage in competitions. If you are an artist, practice your craft. If you are an innovator, invent something. If you like to exercise, start working out ... enter into races. All these things don't have to come natural to you, you just need to have the interest and motivation to do so.

Age 16 is not easy, I think especially for an "NT". You are too old to be considered "young" and too young to be considered an adult; however most NTs I know have intense logic and intelligence, hence making it difficult to fit in to their surroundings. You know these people who are your friends at this age are lucky to have you. Chances of your friendship continuing past high school is grim. Don't let that discourage you, as friends will come and go throughout your life. You will find yourself in new surroundings, with more possibilities of new friendships. So for the time being, prioritize why these people are important to you ... as it will change (with maturity.) If they are your friends so you can say you have friends and a social life, then you have what you need (if that is more important than intimacy.) There are other outlets to express your concerns and problems.

What do you wish to accomplish? Have you observed others who have accomplished something at your age (if so what is it?)

 

[JustChris]

So my challenge to you is to pick something you enjoy or something you THINK you could enjoy and take it a step further in a positive direction. If you are a marksman (hence your avatar), think about visiting a range often. Perfect it, engage in competitions. If you are an artist, practice your craft. If you are an innovator, invent something. If you like to exercise, start working out ... enter into races. All these things don't have to come natural to you, you just need to have the interest and motivation to do so.

What do you wish to accomplish? Have you observed others who have accomplished something at your age (if so what is it?)

If ammunition was cheaper Id practically live at the shooting range haha. What Im working towards now is becoming a fighter. I picked up Brazilian jujitsu (comparable to wrestling) about 2 months ago and I love it. Soon Im going to expand and do muay thai (kickboxing) alongside jujitsu.
As to the accomplishments of others? Being an INTP, im really into categorization, so in my head I split it up into three groups: athletic, social, and academic accomplishments. Good at sports? Awesome. Lots of friends? Sweet. Good grades? Nice, you have a bright future. Ive gone absolutely nowhere in any of those three groups thus far.

 

[Shale]

I think most often the source of our accomplishments comes from comparing ourselves to others ... thus creating problems out of thin air. Someday you will need to realize that the only expectations you can live up to are the ones you set for yourself. Otherwise you will be miserable. This is your life, you need to be author of your own book.

 

[JustChris]

I think most often the source of our accomplishments comes from comparing ourselves to others ... thus creating problems out of thin air. Someday you will need to realize that the only expectations you can live up to are the ones you set for yourself. Otherwise you will be miserable. This is your life, you need to be author of your own book.

Fair enough. However, in your opinion how does one measure success?

 

[Shale]

Fair enough. However, in your opinion how does one measure success?

That depends on what specific thing you are measuring and of course it is how YOU define it. For instance:

Child rearing: I know I have done my job well when my child exhibits compassion for others.
My volunteer work (lay guardian ad litem): being over-prepared for court and seeing that the court values/respects my wishes based on the hard work and information I have provided.
Artwork: feeling satisfied with something I have created (I don't need affirmation from others)
College: proving to myself that I WAS smart and I did care about academics, graduated with a 3.87.

One thing you need to know is that everyone is living their life "taming a demon" so to speak. Everyone has their own unique experiences and problems they are going through, so of course how they measure success would be entirely different from you. For me, it tends to be "a job well done." That I feel I gave something 100% and the outcome resulted in what I wanted. If it didn't, it just means I have more room to grow and learn. All you can do is try your best ... whatever your best is.