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So as an INFP, how much do you value originality and individuality? Nowadays almost everyone is aspiring to be like someone else or following somebody or trend which really ticks me off. And then when you refuse to get into those things everyone starts on your case and believes you to be a freak or w.e. So because I choose not to be a mindless drone and do my own I must be ridiculed? I'm referring to fashions, behaviors, crazes etc. but i'm sure that list doesn't stop there.. :frustrating:
 

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You said it brother! My only idol is MYSELF (as narcissistic as it may sound :unsure:), you should refract as much external influence as possible, even though we all our naturally influenced by others whether we like it or not.

If you're a freak, be a freak.
If you're a bitch, be a bitch.
If you're a helper, be a helper.
If you're a piece of wood, you be that piece of wood.

Just make sure it's for all the right reasons.
 

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I find it so sad when I see a girl in the street, a victim of fashion, tons of cosmetics, hair extensions etc etc - I see people on a daily basis trying in every way to hide who and what they are - all because society isn't accepting of natural beauty and behavior. For me coming to terms with how you look and who you are is the most important thing in the world, there is no use trying to love yourself and still showing the world a different you. I for one love people with bare faces, who look *interesting* not artificial. I like to see people who have interests, aspirations, wounds, dreams...all things you can read in a persons face and behavior.

For me personally, I don't wear cosmetics on a daily basis or make much effort in my appearance.I don't follow fashion trends, dye my hair, shave my legs, try to walk in 6 inch heels... I think most people in the street are so used to being attracted to made-up and presentable people that in most cases they rarely notice me, and thats fine by me. I'm a natural people observer so I tend to notice most people around me and I tend to find the people that do notice me are similar in the fact they don't make a conscious effort to look good for society, but seem just happy to be themselves.

As for general behavior....agh don't even get me started! But I think the general consensus for me here is that too many people are missing the link between truely understanding who *they* are and taking notice of the world around them and how it affects them.
 

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They're all influenced by the wrong people. You can blame the media for that... with it's ruthlessly persistent dictation of how a human being should look and behave.

I value individuality very much. Perhaps too much...I've gone a little extreme with it, but only to prove my point and to ultimately express myself in a way that suits me. I seek my influences from deeper sources, instead of just mimicking whatever meaningless crap is thrown in my face on a daily basis.
 

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Funny, I was just thinking about this today while I was at the mall with my girlfriend. We were in a Gap store and I got this overwhelming feeling of anxiety from looking at the photos of the models, the well-coordinated dress of the manakins, and the shoppers who seemed to mirror the skinny manakins. I think the style looks good, but I felt this overwhelming need to look like them all. That is not who I want to be though. I realize that everybody has their own style, and I have not found mine yet necessarily. I feel this need to style myself based on my beliefs, which creates this urge in me to buy all organic and natural clothing, but it is too expensive for my small budget to be able to support. I just wish that it was simpler to be myself in society. I get so overwhelmed feeling that I need to have a style and look good.

I'm not really comfortable with who I am yet. I don't really have a comfortable style and I have a hard time sticking to my beliefs and let society influence me way to much. It is also hard to be who I know I am because of differences between family members and friends. It's all way to overwhelming.
 

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I absolutely value individuality! I try the best I can to question my behavior/fashion/attitudes as much as I can to make sure that I'm not just copying someone else and that I'm doing those things because I truly want to. It's a good state of mind to get into. Try to look at everything like you've never seen it before. As "Why?" whenever you can. Try to forget what other people think about you. Just be and enjoy yourself!
 

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I think few people understand what originality really means especially INFPs. We think we're being original but we're not. Because originality is a fallacy. Almost everything is derivative.

As for individuality..

Who's more of an individual, the person who desperately tries not to copy and not look like everyone else or the person who doesn't give a crap if someone thinks they look like everyone else?

What we tend to forget is people do things for a reason. They dress the way they do because it produces some effect that they want. Saying someone should dress differently because we think they should is like saying, "you shouldn't want what you want. I know better than you what's good for you. You should want what I think you should want."

INFPs say they're accepting of other people's values and ideals, but are we really? Or are we just accepting of people we consider "individuals".

I think the problem with this thread is the underlying tone that externalizing uniqueness is somehow "better". When I say externalizing uniqueness, I'm referring to people who act, dress, behave differently to prove to the world that they are different and that's the only way they've found to prove that they're unique and different.

I've found the most interesting and unique people don't give a second thought about their fashion, their behavior and least of all the fashion and behavior of other people. Because who cares? They have better things to think about. They create unique lives that are fascinating once you talk to them. It's what's inside that makes them unique and you can't tell that by how they look, but only by talking to them. Putting a premium on external uniqueness is just a type of prejudice.

Here's the most interesting thing that I've observed. The ones who care the most about external uniqueness are the ones who seem least capable of creating and manifesting the things they truly want in their life.
 

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It's quite interesting, that 'being myself' has been pretty much a fundamental tenet of mine since childhood. As a result, I was socially ostracised for my eccentricity, but my parents were very supportive. They wanted me to be only myself, and the best 'myself' I could be - this gave me the courage to carry on, and I made some very good and genuine friends this way (sadly most of them I am no longer in touch with). In fact, I was almost oblivious to how other people perceived me, and I could not understand why other people did not like me when I always gave everybody a fair chance so I chose to remain blissfully ignorant. My mother always prodded me to be more social but I was satisfied that I was doing the best I could in the best way. Apparently she didn't realise just how petty some children can be.

Though I remember particularly in the teen years I almost had an aversion to whatever was considered popular. For example, I was into D&D and the Forgotten Realms, so I never bothered with Harry Potter, claiming that 'real' magic was far more complicated than just the waving of wands. I was an Intel fanboy as far as processors were concerned until my purchase of an AMD chip was mandatory by the price-performance comparison, at which point I stopped caring. If something was mainstream, I didn't want to know about it. Though, often I would, many months after the height of the craze, give it a try and discover what I was missing out on, though I'd be reluctant to admit that to others. I think Pokémon was the only wave I truly embraced, and then only because I became interested in it before everyone else, though it sure was nice to have others to discuss it with. Fashion was kind of a non-issue with me. I only generally went on family trips, excursions and visits to other friends' houses so I never really cared how I looked. I dressed for comfort and outright stated that people who judged me by my appearance were too shallow to be worthy of my time. I was also far too introverted, eccentric and downright shy to attend parties and other social events, so.

Recently, though my outlook has been broadening yet further and I realise that being unique for the sake of it is just as bad as conforming mindlessly. I think what you really need to do is question yourself in an inner dialogue - independent of everyone else in the world, real or imagined - and ask yourself whether you like something or not, on its own merits. Truly being your own person is often difficult when the chaotic maelstrom of society often threatens to pull you in this way or that, and I know withdrawing is the knee-jerk reaction to being overwhelmed, but if you just take a deep breath and hold on for dear life you should be able to navigate the tides. I realise some of this is repeating what infpblog meant, but I wanted to say it anyway.

Also, LittleHawk, it's quite interesting that you should mention natural beauty and behaviour, particularly with regards to cosmetics. Those who know me well enough know that I tend to be pretty critical of things like excessive make-up. In fact, I am often made to wonder why people cannot appreciate the natural beauty they almost certainly possess. From things like too much mascara or eyeliner, down to painted/'designed' fingernails and even piercings and tattoos. I realise that they can be a means of expressing oneself in a more visual manner, but to me they are more just eyesores. Why try to fundamentally alter the natural appearance, which to me is both more aesthetically appealing as well as more attractive?

This might be presumptuous of me to say... but do any of you notice, when walking through the streets, the expressions on peoples' faces? To me a lot of people seem too caught up in their lives, too dour, too miserable... I often wonder how I look to everyone else, taking in the sights of the town and the sky around me that I must have already seen several hundred times, with a playful and absentminded grin plastered across my face. Every once in a while I will see a child playing in a fountain with joyful energy and gleaming eyes, and after restraining my own impulses to join them I will look at the grimacing quadragenarians around them and think to myself 'how does it come to this?' Anyway, may have gone a bit off track at the end there, but you get the gist.
 
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I am myself. Dressing fashionably (generally a button down, collared shirt with a white undershirt beneath it, jeans, and dress socks/shoes), gelling my hair, and keeping cologne in my car to re-apply it as I'm out and about is part of being myself. I value style and I feel that you should care about how you look. I am not hiding who I am, rather I feel more confident, outgoing, and at peace precisely because I am being myself. I'm not going to get into an argument about that, it is just how I view life and it works for me. Another part of being myself is having a rather large forearm tattoo that I pretty much have on display every day, everywhere I go (including meetings with bosses) since I almost always have my sleeves rolled up. I'm not necessarily trying to be unique in this regard, rather I naturally am just embracing myself. I like tattoos, so I get tattoos.

I don't think we should judge people in general. Our type may value individuality, other types value being part of the group and needing affirmation from their peers. Who are we to say it is wrong, when for them it may be right and our way is wrong? The only time I would criticize someone is for not being themselves, but if being themselves is being part of a large group of friends who all act, dress, and talk the same, then I am happy for them. I will sometimes see someone and go "Wow, they are just trying way too hard" when it is obvious that a person is trying to do something that is not being themselves, but my friend is quick to retort "At least they're trying." And I think he is right in some respects too.

I don't truly worry about what other people do or how they dress. I have enough to think/worry about with myself.
 

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I do value individuality, and I am most often "myself", externally and internally.


It's odd that there are people who try to pressure others into being "individuals", pressure them to not follow the latest craze, "you actually like [latest pop group]?! Eww", well, maybe that person liked the band, or wore those clothes because they actually liked them. Just because someone is following the latest craze doesn't make them any less of an individual.

"Too mainstream" is also a hilariously conformist thing to say. Since the only difference is that the person would be conforming to what the others are not, rather than what the others are.
 

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I think few people understand what originality really means especially INFPs. We think we're being original but we're not. Because originality is a fallacy. Almost everything is derivative.
Completely agree.

I value independence, that is for sure, but I am not completely sold on "individuality". I often feel that what defines people's "individuality" is based on either very shallow measurements , such as their physical appearance, musical tastes or obscurity, neither of which I think really gets to the core of who a person is. It's all how we choose to present ourselves through social constructs. In this way, I see individuality as being something that is very contrived, and something that is structured COMPLETELY on what the "in-group" is.

But of course, this is a reaction to only one definition of what individuality is. I think that it takes a while to develop, and while were young we grasp onto what I have mentioned in the above paragraph as the main medium for individual expression, and obviously it's something that people don't grow out of it. I'm trying to refrain from going off on like a million different tangents that this subject is creating so i'll stop here.

keep ya head up INFPs :)
 

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I've never been able to understand how or why some people appear to just.....like whatever is presented to them. How can they really like all that popular stuff? I just don't believe it's popular because it's actually that likable, I think trends and popular things are popular only because lots of people just go with whatever is presented to them, like they don't even really think about looking for other options. Like someone says this is the way to dress or act, someone stands up as an example and everyone else just kind of goes along with it without really checking inside themselves to see if this fits their own inner self. Maybe they don't have the same sense of an inner self that I do???? It's always been impossible for me to understand. I can understand people having different tastes and interests than me. But it bugs me when it doesn't seeeeem like people have determined their likes and dislikes for themselves, or that they select what they like from such a narrow set of things that have been presented to them without really considering if maybe there's more options.

I don't think you have to be different to be orriginal or individual, you just have to actually personally choose your tastes. I find it irritating when people act as if only obscure things are worth being interested in, but at the same time I certainly feel a bit of disdain for people who just follow along with whatever is popular.

I had a friend once who would never tell me her own oppinion on anything, she'd always insist on my answer first and then just agree with me - it was very annoying. It's great when you discover someone who is naturally like yourself, when you like eachother for who you really are.
 

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I prefer authenticity to individuality, since the latter is often superficial. I like people who can pinpoint exactly what they love about something, other than "it's popular" or "it's different." I want to know what themes they love, what atmospheres they seek, what feelings and thoughts are evoked, how these interests shape their perspective and color their world.

Since I love being exposed to new things I most enjoy talking to people who cultivate their own interests (rather than being handed a sample of convenience from the radio or magazines) but that doesn't mean scoffing at mainstream things. You can like underground music and offbeat films and still enjoy clothes shopping or chick flicks. Just tell me WHY you like it and I'll think you're pretty cool. If you can't think of any reasons why you like what you do...then perhaps it is time to re-evaluate.
 

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i wear foundation and eyeliner every day. i style my hair and dye it. i shave my legs, too, and try to coordinate the way i dress in an aesthetically-pleasing way. i do all of these things because they help me feel good, first and foremost, and not because it's what society expects out of me. i wear hairbows and cardigans and crave floral prints and lace because i love them. i think those clothes are classy and beautiful, and i think they work for me. they help me build on the outside what i feel on the inside: gentle with a flush of pink. plus or minus the constant tumult of emotions.

i am myself. whether people consider that unique or not is completely up to them. i can't make them take a closer look, and neither can the way i dress.
 
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