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I have to admit, she is one of the most interesting people I've ever met. So "out there," in the best way possible. I've never been able to talk to someone about abstract stuff for so long in the same sitting, which is definitely a welcome thing. And she taught me a lot about myself within the two hours we spent together. I think more so than any other person I've met, at least within that amount of time.

The spark was different than I was expecting, though. It didn't feel romantic to me. Or, if it was, it was a very shy kind of romantic, which I'm open to but it's certainly not what I'm used to at this point. Then again, I was in that exhausted, spacey Ni state the whole time, so maybe my judgment of the dynamic was off. I can't help but worry I might have ruined it, deep down.

Either way, my mind is blown. I definitely wasn't expecting that.
 

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It's very mind to mind-- and spiritual!---but the brain is a sexual organ. I'd love to hear everyone's experiences on this.
 

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Ah Ha! That's only right.
But make something up then to appease my Ne? I made a writer's thread in the NF forum if you would like to join me. Nobody but me has posted yet.
You can change the writing prompt if you would like. I grabbed that one off a web-site and changed a word to make it fit Thanksgiving.
 

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Male or female, they just talk too much. STOP TALKING :frustrating:

I have a really difficult time being one on one with Ne types, I actively started avoiding hanging out one on one with them. In a group I can just stop paying attention and they'll pick somebody else to voice their ramblings on, which suits me much better than having to be the sole focus of their attention. One on one, I don't like to be rude so I have to say something back and pretend to be enjoying myself, even though underneath I'm so fucking annoyed. But in a group setting I can pull away whenever I've had enough and it's not noticed at all.
 
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Lol @ the responses to this
 

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@Vahyavishdapaya That particular annoyance is so easy to arrange.... Well so, at the root of your annoyance does it seem like we take over or overly-dominate the conversation? Or do you like silence? Or would you gladly pitch in with info but can't get a word in? I'm curious.
@JazzPhilosopher We do usually tend to talk a lot. I try to train my INFJ friends to know that if I get quiet something emotional is going on. A tip for you, there. A crush on somebody? I get quiet. Someone hurt my feelings? I get quiet. I strongly disagree with the topic at hand. I get quiet-- or might surprise everyone suddenly with strong statements after holding my tongue for too long. Extremely happy, I might get quiet.
 

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@Vahyavishdapaya That particular annoyance is so easy to arrange.... Well so, at the root of your annoyance does it seem like we take over or overly-dominate the conversation? Or do you like silence? Or would you gladly pitch in with info but can't get a word in? I'm curious.
@JazzPhilosopher We do usually tend to talk a lot. I try to train my INFJ friends to know that if I get quiet something emotional is going on. A tip for you, there. A crush on somebody? I get quiet. Someone hurt my feelings? I get quiet. I strongly disagree with the topic at hand. I get quiet-- or might surprise everyone suddenly with strong statements after holding my tongue for too long. Extremely happy, I might get quiet.
Its the rambliness which I find annoying. INJs don't tend to ramble very often. Our thought process is a complete mess on the inside, but when it comes to expressing it, we are usually very organised & precise. We get to the point in a quick and efficient manner, with no long preambles or postscripts bookending our thoughts. I should specify that it's one ENP in particular who annoys me like that, it's probably unfair of me to assume you will all be the same.

I don't even mind rambling as long as it's somewhat productive; I can appreciate that somebody might not have their thoughts entirely organised if they are discussing some weighty intellectual type of topic. But rambling about straightforward things is annoying for me.
 

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Its the rambliness which I find annoying. INJs don't tend to ramble very often. Our thought process is a complete mess on the inside, but when it comes to expressing it, we are usually very organised & precise. We get to the point in a quick and efficient manner, with no long preambles or postscripts bookending our thoughts. I should specify that it's one ENP in particular who annoys me like that, it's probably unfair of me to assume you will all be the same.

I don't even mind rambling as long as it's somewhat productive; I can appreciate that somebody might not have their thoughts entirely organised if they are discussing some weighty intellectual type of topic. But rambling about straightforward things is annoying for me.
Look on it as the feed from a tickertape machine, giving you moment by moment data on what the ENFP is thinking. I find it fascinating and enchanting. Every moment, I'm hooked to see what will come next. Constant effervescence! ENFPs, the champagne personality . . .
 

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Its the rambliness which I find annoying. INJs don't tend to ramble very often. Our thought process is a complete mess on the inside, but when it comes to expressing it, we are usually very organised & precise. We get to the point in a quick and efficient manner, with no long preambles or postscripts bookending our thoughts. I should specify that it's one ENP in particular who annoys me like that, it's probably unfair of me to assume you will all be the same.

I don't even mind rambling as long as it's somewhat productive; I can appreciate that somebody might not have their thoughts entirely organised if they are discussing some weighty intellectual type of topic. But rambling about straightforward things is annoying for me.
I think it depends on the individual ENFP. Dr Mike is my favourite ENFP youtuber, although he's stopped posting in the last few years, I really enjoy watching his videos because he has so many interesting insights and presents in a way which is structured but also entertaining:


However, I find Enid F Patternson very difficult to watch/listen to. She pulls you in with her charisma and a tempting morsel of insight, but then rambles on, goes off on tangents, doesn't develop her ideas into anything more substantial or practical, or takes way too long to do so imo:

 

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Its the rambliness which I find annoying. INJs don't tend to ramble very often. Our thought process is a complete mess on the inside, but when it comes to expressing it, we are usually very organised & precise. We get to the point in a quick and efficient manner, with no long preambles or postscripts bookending our thoughts. I should specify that it's one ENP in particular who annoys me like that, it's probably unfair of me to assume you will all be the same.

I don't even mind rambling as long as it's somewhat productive; I can appreciate that somebody might not have their thoughts entirely organised if they are discussing some weighty intellectual type of topic. But rambling about straightforward things is annoying for me.
Thank you very much for explaining, and I do see the INJ side. This is actually a wide-spread Ni vs Ne problem. Ne's think on the outside and as extroversion would have it, it's got to be with other people.

Brainstorming with others is actually how we Ne-users form our opinions on new conceptual topics-- which we can get really excited about. An enjoyable conversation for us would definitely be both people brainstorming and getting passionately engaged about it and building on each other's ideas. There's been more than once for me that instead of a good partnership of colliding brains and exploratory foray into where "No brain has gone before, " that the other person stayed quiet despite my questions and it became a sort of horrible lecture on something I am not qualified to talk about. Not my intent. If you want to leave us embarrassed and frustrated, then sit quiet and watch it happen.

I'm cringing even now. I find my response is running deeper for me than I set out for it to be. But we (Ne) need this-- we need to be allowed the brainstorming (which must happen with others for extroversion), or else we feel hampered, limited, extremely lonely, useless and uninspired. This actually runs really deep--- Ne is my BEST function. Not finding people to love and allow this in me has been the source of lots of frustration and hurt for me in relationships-- particularly INJ relationships where we know things usually get deep, but then are often not allowed to do our best thing.

So thank you, @odinthor--- it is a HUGE relief to find this generosity on an INFJ's part. =)
 

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I think it depends on the individual ENFP. Dr Mike is my favourite ENFP youtuber, although he's stopped posting in the last few years, I really enjoy watching his videos because he has so many interesting insights and presents in a way which is structured but also entertaining:


However, I find Enid F Patternson very difficult to watch/listen to. She pulls you in with her charisma and a tempting morsel of insight, but then rambles on, goes off on tangents, doesn't develop her ideas into anything more substantial or practical, or takes way too long to do so imo:

Hey @Songs unsung! Thank you for finding examples to add to the discussion.
I watched Dr. Mike's all the way through-- he uses his tertiary function Te to structure better and did actually prepare. I watched the second one only 1/3 way-- I'm amazed that she has the confidence to just ramble on a video.
Although Ne is what I do to think and build relationships, it's not what I think should be PRESENTED. I give lectures/seminars and mine are usually over-prepared---I spend HOURS preparing, double-checking research and writing PowerPoints, although I use my natural flexibility to share added research/information as needed when asked questions, and tailor the information to the crowd/class.

I have had a hard enough time getting my brainstorming accepted by those who actually love me. In fact, if you guys want to know-- I am usually the quieter person when I'm with some INTJ friends since I know they can't stand me brainstorming or discussing new ideas-- and this has been a hurtful process in these friendships-- makes it so I have to find other Ne-using friends.
I'd be horribly embarrassed to put something out there in "finished" form like that second video-- I would never do that. Hooray for her, though, she must have felt her Ne completely accepted--- or else, horribly-- this may be the only place she gets to brainstorm? Oh, that would be just heartbreaking. That's horrible!

However, I found Dr. Mike's lecture interesting because I do recognize mis-typed people and I absolutely agree with him on the signs symptoms and impact of mistyping.
Good fodder for the discussion! Thank you. =)
 
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@Vahyavishdapaya That particular annoyance is so easy to arrange.... Well so, at the root of your annoyance does it seem like we take over or overly-dominate the conversation? Or do you like silence? Or would you gladly pitch in with info but can't get a word in? I'm curious.
@JazzPhilosopher We do usually tend to talk a lot. I try to train my INFJ friends to know that if I get quiet something emotional is going on. A tip for you, there. A crush on somebody? I get quiet. Someone hurt my feelings? I get quiet. I strongly disagree with the topic at hand. I get quiet-- or might surprise everyone suddenly with strong statements after holding my tongue for too long. Extremely happy, I might get quiet.
Thanks for that, but let's not get carried away just yet... The thing she made me realize the most is how much more work I still need as a person. Which, while awesome, is not something I'm ready to tolerate on a constant basis, since I'm always pushing myself hard to improve. And the only one I really care to impress is myself. I don't know if all ENFP's are like this, but that's not the dynamic I want in a relationship. Regardless of how attractive I might find her mind.
 

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Thanks for that, but let's not get carried away just yet... The thing she made me realize the most is how much more work I still need as a person. Which, while awesome, is not something I'm ready to tolerate on a constant basis, since I'm always pushing myself hard to improve. And the only one I really care to impress is myself. I don't know if all ENFP's are like this, but that's not the dynamic I want in a relationship. Regardless of how attractive I might find her mind.
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You'd have to get specific. That's interesting that this is the part of your conversation with her that was meaningful and that might also not be acceptable to you. We are known as the inspirers. We help people use their best talents for good or for their own self-fulfillment-- this is absolutely natural for my type. No ENFP will ever force anyone to do anything unless this is a unhealthy ENFP (I've never met an unhealthy ENFP, but am told that we can be manipulation masters-- seems like the last thing I would do, though, ever.) Although I encourage people to follow their ideals, dreams and passions and help them get over problems, this has never been a problem in any of my relationships. I see my INFJ friend or INFP husband dig their heels in and that's fine. Usually frustrates me only a second to know they don't want to go jogging with me or some such, but that's their own journey-- we are strongly egalitarian and strongly don't believe in controlling anybody so it passes immediately. If someone wants my inspiring abilities for change, I am at their service. My loved ones will accomplish their dreams in life because I will bend over backwards to help them do it, if wanted. My loved ones will also be helped to realize their talents and passions. If they are emotionally not happy and are willing to work on that, then I help them. If not, then that's no problem-- they aren't ready. This is actually what I do for a job--- I help people make and keep goals for their health, I am a dietitian and diabetes educator. If they aren't ready, I document that and keep hope for next time. Too natural on this one to even separate from who I am. It boils down to this: I can see people's talents passion and physical and emotional health. I will help them all I can if wanted.
 

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[...]

So thank you, @odinthor --- it is a HUGE relief to find this generosity on an INFJ's part. =)
What, this?: ["Look on it as the feed from a tickertape machine, giving you moment by moment data on what the ENFP is thinking. I find it fascinating and enchanting. Every moment, I'm hooked to see what will come next. Constant effervescence! ENFPs, the champagne personality . . ."]

No generosity, ma'am, just the plain and well-deserved truth about you wonderful guys. And I've done a lot of research. :cool:

And plan to continue the research indefinitely . . . :tongue:
 
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