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Discussion starter · #21 ·
Destinations in space and time are never the same as we are all born in and with unique circumstances which implies we all live out and end in different circumstances, perhaps with promixity but still different, however roads can be the same if there is a sense of individual value that recognises the greater value generated when two forces come together despite differences for the common goal, and the greatest value is always the common goal. In no way do i mean malice but to conclude the roads are different demonstrates a lack of vision or imagination to the fact that YOU are the sole creator and designer of your life. I'm telling the author of the image and all those who subscribe to it to choose someone or some thing which inspires them as not trusting due to the past will certainly be your gravest mistake.

You know... "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" yada yada

Here is a visual rendition of my opinion on the OC
 
You have changed the main elements of the venn diagram.
First of all, the 1st circle that represents first set does not necessity represent your purpose. It only represents your time, not your purpose.
The 2nd circle represents someone else's purpose. It does not necessarily mean that someone else's energy and time are being consumed.

First of all make the corrections in the main sets, then make the diagram and then we can talk.
 
@IamAlexa So according to your logic I was wasting my time by trying to help you out through your troubles?
Then everyone since the beginning of time is just wasting their time by helping a stranger, or a wounded animal, or collecting garbage from the streets and beaches.
What I'm getting at is that I don't consider my time wasted if I objectively make things better. But I also get that you're trying to assess as to where to draw the line, and that is I think circumstantial.
 
Discussion starter · #23 ·
@IamAlexa So according to your logic I was wasting my time by trying to help you out through your troubles?
Then everyone since the beginning of time is just wasting their time by helping a stranger, or a wounded animal, or collecting garbage from the streets and beaches.
What I'm getting at is that I don't consider my time wasted if I objectively make things better. But I also get that you're trying to assess as to where to draw the line, and that is I think circumstantial.
What you did by helping me was -- you just spent a few moments of your life in helping me.
The word "purpose" here does not necessarily mean that "we have to help someone". Charity is different.

I myself have a purpose to heal as many people as possible. It does not mean that I am wasting my life or I am fulfilling someone else's purpose.

Let me give a simple basic explanation through an example:- If my dad wants me to be in a certain way, to live in a certain way, according to some criterias ------> If I do this, then I am fulfilling someone else's purpose and I am really not taking any time to even evaluate my purpose/what I want.
My life is wasted. For sure. And I regret it. Because I spent my life fulfilling someone else's purpose.
It was my choice to fulfill someone else's purpose. I did this happily. Only to regret later. Wasted 24 hours of life. Not a small loss. I considered their purpose as mine.
 
Aside from what have already been written, in both positive or negative aspect of “following someone else’s purpose”, my honest yet impolite take on this topic is:

“Oh, another IamAlexa’s venting thread. Written in an indirect form.”

Overall I can’t agree with the chart as it doesn’t take in account the notion of interdependency. Also, each notion isn’t properly defined.
 
You have changed the main elements of the venn diagram.
First of all, the 1st circle that represents first set does not necessity represent your purpose. It only represents your time, not your purpose.
The 2nd circle represents someone else's purpose. It does not necessarily mean that someone else's energy and time are being consumed.

First of all make the corrections in the main sets, then make the diagram and then we can talk.
Why is it acceptable to seperate your time from your purpose when it is the definition of the total sum of your time?
 
Discussion starter · #27 ·
Aside from what have already been written, in both positive or negative aspect of “following someone else’s purpose”, my honest yet impolite take on this topic is:

“Oh, another IamAlexa’s venting thread. Written in an indirect form.”

Overall I can’t agree with the chart as it doesn’t take in account the notion of interdependency. Also, each notion isn’t properly defined.
I will probably not reply anywhere on this forum from now onwards, but still-

Atleast Mostoner was criticising me on my vents and even analysed my venting threads in order to push me in the right direction but this--
“Oh, another IamAlexa’s venting thread. Written in an indirect form.”
Thank you. I will keep a note to not share any info over PerC and only to people in real life.



But, anyways, I wasn't venting. I was just sharing some piece of information that I thought was very valuable for my life. I have done this a lot of times. I have shared the learnings and information which have affected my life so that someone can also benifit. So that NF people who are prone to take on other people's life purposes don't do this.

I do not need to vent because the guy which you all call as troller or insensitive, helps me happily at each point of time and my improvement is like 100X. So I do not need to vent anywhere.
Thank you.
 
My implicit point is that I believe “your shared thoughts” are emotionally charged and heavily influenced by your current venting subjects.

Venting is fine, I’d even say, healthy. But trying to assess general truths or advices while being in a venting mood is, from my point of view, a terrible idea.

I also believe that some people on the thread that don’t agree with your initial take are worried about you, and are trying to help you by trying to tell you that following someone else’s purpose isn’t necessarily a waste of life. I hope you’ll be able to see it one day.

Anyway, sorry if I hurt your feelings in some ways. Good luck, and take care.
 
Discussion starter · #29 ·
My implicit point is that I believe “your shared thoughts” are emotionally charged and heavily influenced by your current venting subjects.

Venting is fine, I’d even say, healthy. But trying to assess general truths or advices while being in a venting mood is, from my point of view, a terrible idea.

I also believe that some people on the thread that don’t agree with your initial take are worried about you, and are trying to help you by trying to tell you that following someone else’s purpose isn’t necessarily a waste of life. I hope you’ll be able to see it one day.

Anyway, sorry if I hurt your feelings in some ways. Good luck, and take care.
You are editing your replies again and again. There wasn't any concern or apology in your first reply. I will consider that one only.
Anyways, I am tired of all this already.
 
@IamAlexa , are you all right? Feel free to message me if you wanna vent.

I've seen this thread for a while now but I didn't respond to it because my knee-jerk reaction to the opening was decidedly negative. And I decided I had neither the time nor the emotional / mental capacity to make a fair comment. I have some free time and a little brain now, so...

First thing is that I am defensive with the way I use my time. Yes, I waste time, but whether that is from working on "my" purposes or "other people's" purposes, I'd rather not say. One, that's too personal, and Two, just thinking about it from that angle gives me a bad feeling in the stomach. Why?

Time wasted on my own purposes = "selfish" , "greedy" , "insensitive"
Time wasted on other people's purposes = "doormat" , "pushover" , "no self-determination"

- None of which are accurate!

Digging a tiny bit deeper, I notice that I might be harsh enough to say that I've "wasted my life" but I'd never tell another person that they've wasted theirs. "Wasted life" is nonsense jargon for me, and when I tell myself I have done such, that's just me being melodramatic. The truth is waste happens in every day life; we wait, we sweat, we shit, we create garbage. That is part of life, and anyone trying to live a waste-free life is in danger of overanalyzing to the point of losing the point of the experience.

I mean I get it, some people want to be effective and efficient as if Total Quality Management applies to individuals. You want to imrove yourself and get the most out of life. But there are many other ways to live. As many and as messy as you want.
 
@Fennel That was a really good post, and I guess it somehow communicated my reaction as well, better than I could do myself. Especially the notion of waste, which most people would see as just that, a waste. But good system design makes the waste reuseable or beneficial to the system you've created, to the point of the waste not being waste but something of a necessity for the thrivin of that said system. It all depends how the different aspects are aligned. This is applicable to anything, really.
 
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