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All my life I've noticed something with other people who are outside of my family. My family is basically one big group of introverts. How introverted each is varies, but no doubt that we all share that same line of keeping up a respectful front with people we don't know that well.

Any long-term relationship I've gone into or any friends that I manage to get close to, one way or another something along the lines of, "You treat me completely differently than other people I've seen you with", or, "Why don't you treat other people like this?", is said. And really it's true for me. Once I get really comfy with someone that's when I'm louder, more relaxed, more everything I suppose. Sure, you can say this about anyone in general, but it seems to be painfully obvious with me. :blushed:

At first I felt a little odd whenever someone said this to me. But over time I've come to think, why is this a bad thing? I don't think it is. So what am I suppose to be jealous of a new friend if they treat their long-time best friend better than me? And if I need to be open to an extent on a situation I will. But what is it with people trying to tell me I need to be more open to the point of where I don't feel comfortable about it?

Oh, the introvert is strong with this one. :laughing:
 

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Sadly with extraversion being the mainstream way of the world, Introverts are seen as wierd/shy/snobish when not immediately becoming friendly, or when not letting our "true selves" be seen right away.... this seems especially true of INFP's,(I might be Criticized or say something wrong if i don't filter what i do/say!)

I have noticed being yourself around friends in small group setting, allows for those that don't know you, to see you with "Some" of your walls/filters down.

Being introverted though i think this is just the way we deal with friendship,s and there isn't much we can do about it to change. There shouldn't be any reason why it is wrong or a bad thing.
 

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Sadly with extraversion being the mainstream way of the world, Introverts are seen as wierd/shy/snobish when not immediately becoming friendly, or when not letting our "true selves" be seen right away.... this seems especially true of INFP's,(I might be Criticized or say something wrong if i don't filter what i do/say!)

I have noticed being yourself around friends in small group setting, allows for those that don't know you, to see you with "Some" of your walls/filters down.

Being introverted though i think this is just the way we deal with friendship,s and there isn't much we can do about it to change. There shouldn't be any reason why it is wrong or a bad thing.
There was an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education about how academia favors the extraverts among us. I have to say that I had never thought of it that way--I certainly have no problem putting myself out there in class, since it represents the product of my intellect and not...you know, PERSONAL stuff. Screening Out the Introverts - Advice - The Chronicle of Higher Education That's the link, if you want o read it.

But people who want to be your friend have to accept you as is. Don't be afraid to tell them that you open up slowly. I think they would appreciate the honesty AND be more able to appreciate your increasing openness over time as you get to know them better.
 

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Oh, the introvert is strong with this one. :laughing:
This line just keeps me grinning xD

On topic, you should keep your wall up as long as it is not harming to yourself ^^ People may be equal but your relationships with them certainly aren't. There's nothing wrong with being picky about who you reveal (parts of) yourself to and who don't get to see you. :3
 
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It's like the other way round with me. My parents are both SJs and my NF sister is at uni. Consequently, the family home has become little more than a charging station to me, home of my inner sanctum and bedroom. This is really cheesing my parents off, especially my ESFJ clingy mum. Of course, the more I retreat, the clingier and more hurt she gets until she flounces off in a huff vowing not to try and help me ever again. She will though, she's so impulsive that she rarely means stuff.

Conversely, very few of my close friends are SJs - instead I associate with NFs and NTs. I feel like me when I'm with my friends, coming home is just returning to the well intended nagging of my mum and my parents' fighting. At least I'm distracting them from eachother right now.

For the record, dad is much more easy going and therefore easier to get along with. He's borderline between ISTP and ISTJ.
 

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I build a really high wall to people that I'm unfamiliar with. I'm very good at acting like an extrovert that people are usually very surprised when I reveal my true self. I only disclose myself to a very restircted number of people, I think that's what INFPs do because we secure our own private space very much. Drawbacks happen when I reveal my own self, people blamed me of not getting in touch with them as if I'm very popular (though sometimes I am, but don't realise)!! I was shocked to my foundation why people would think so. However, because of such contradiction that I might face, I try to strike a balance now and try not to overdo it when I first meet people, and I think this kind of act is still essential because it's a lubricant for communication and to get to know people.
 

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I build a really high wall to people that I'm unfamiliar with. I'm very good at acting like an extrovert that people are usually very surprised when I reveal my true self. I only disclose myself to a very restricted number of people.
People are often shocked by the depth of emotion and pit of darkness that lies within me and will emerge without warning one I can trust someone and I start down those lines... most of the time I can hold back my raging emotions behind the childish grin and the relentless energy, but suddenly I get the feeling that I can share myself with someone and they're scorched by my cynicism and self loathing. Just as suddenly as the dark side emerges, I wrestle it back under the carpet... but they never look at me in the same way again. It's a mixture of pity, awe, fascination and fear that usually greats me if I expose the depth of my personality to someone, even to those who trust me. Most get used to it eventually, but some are repulsed by it.
 

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It's a mixture of pity, awe, fascination and fear that usually greats me if I expose the depth of my personality to someone, even to those who trust me. Most get used to it eventually, but some are repulsed by it.
Yea I really feel the same. My true self can be really dark inside and depressing and pessimistic at times. Really not a lot of people can accept that so this makes me so difficult to find a true friend. Sometimes with the combination of my sense of maturity can scare people away, thinking that I'm too serious. It isn't really like that but I just don't like small talks so it makes what I talk about too serious or too quiet if I don't speak. What a dilemma.
 

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Yea I really feel the same. My true self can be really dark inside and depressing and pessimistic at times. Really not a lot of people can accept that so this makes me so difficult to find a true friend. Sometimes with the combination of my sense of maturity can scare people away, thinking that I'm too serious. It isn't really like that but I just don't like small talks so it makes what I talk about too serious or too quiet if I don't speak. What a dilemma.
I've said to people before though - the dark is as much part of as the light. I'm like the moon XD
About small talk - I actually think I'm crap at it but I cover up by moving really quickly onto serious topics. Killing the joy in a conversation is a talent of mine :L XD
 

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I've said to people before though - the dark is as much part of as the light. I'm like the moon XD
About small talk - I actually think I'm crap at it but I cover up by moving really quickly onto serious topics. Killing the joy in a conversation is a talent of mine :L XD
Haha that's really good :) I guess I should clarify to people about that too or else they always think that I'm a blackhole or an abyss!
 

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Haha that's really good :) I guess I should clarify to people about that too or else they always think that I'm a blackhole or an abyss!
also @IAmOrangeToday

Hahahaha, we'd all be all right talking together, because there's no place so dark I can't find something shitty to say about it to make everyone crack up :)
 
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I treat people I don't know differently than people I do know, it's true. I'm one of the joking, fun-loving, can-be-daring ones of my group of friends. I'm the slightly quieter, yet sarcastic and doesn't mind having her say (youngest) daughter to my family (hey, with my two Extroverted sisters, brother's girlfriend and mother, my silence is painfully obvious). But to other people? I probably seem stand-offish and silent. It's not a good feeling. I would connect with them if they just gave me a chance.
 
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