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I heard my roommate crying last night in her room, and also a few days ago. she doesn't know i can hear her, she is definitely NOT the type of person who would like me talking to her about this thing, she's very emotionally closed and would most likely shove me off and it would then be uncomfortable between us as well.

What's the best course of action here? besides just generally trying to cheer her up without her knowing i am.

(she's an INTJ)
 

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I heard my roommate crying last night in her room, and also a few days ago. she doesn't know i can hear her, she is definitely NOT the type of person who would like me talking to her about this thing, she's very emotionally closed and would most likely shove me off and it would then be uncomfortable between us as well.

What's the best course of action here? besides just generally trying to cheer her up without her knowing i am.

(she's an INTJ)
She'd be your dual then, according to Socionics! Neat.

Just follow your instincts and whatever approach you think is best. What you'd probably be good at is getting people out of their shell and enjoying the moment-- That would likely be healthy for her, whatever happens to be on her mind.
 

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I'd be inclined to leave well enough alone. When I'm having a private moment the last thing I want is another person involving themselves in it uninvited. I cry for many reasons, mostly it's just releasing tension that has pent up. In those moments I do not want others trying to 'cheer me up'. It feels like meddling and also social obligation at a time when I want some space to myself.
 

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I'm INTP and cry very very rarely. If I want you to know that I cry I will let you know. Otherwise pretend not to have noticed it.

Maybe you can try to distract her during the day with something that she could like.
Or having some little attentions for her.

That's enough
 

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At most, I would just ask her if everything's ok, or let her know you are there for her. If she's trying to be secret about, I probably wouldn't say anything, unless it continues for a long time. Indirectly cheeing her up is probably what you should keep doing. Being nice and friendly around her.
 

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Knock on her door. Just let her know that you are available if she wants to talk or someone to bounce ideas off of or need a different perspective. Walk away.

If you want to console her, do it through action, not emotions. Bring her soup, water, snacks or something. Give her space. She'll approach you if she wants to talk about it. Otherwise just show solidarity without being intrusive.
 

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I think you're on the right track. I would do something indirect. Clean up a little more around the place than you normally would. If your roommate likes a particular food or beverage you can restock it. Don't tell them about it, just do it. If they actually want to talk about things, by all means do so. But otherwise a random cry is usually an isolated thing that needs to stay private. Unless: other, less healthy things are happening.
 
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