I'm struggling to find ways to motivate myself. I remember when transitioning into adulthood I felt like I was losing my freedom. I had to accept that this is simply life and that a big part of that would be working a 9-5 job. I reluctantly took on my first non-skilled job until I realised that if I'm going to be working most of my life, then I'd rather be doing something that is valued and will compensate me enough to live comfortably. I also figured I could eventually just work for myself, as I don't find working for an employer particularly appealing. I left my job, studied, got a degree, and landed a decent job. In a relatively short space of time I progressed to a point where I was earning more than enough to support my lifestyle. I then decided that I didn't want to be in a job that required commuting, set hours, or someone telling me what to do. So I set up my employment arrangement in such a way where I don't have any of those things. I can take on the work I want, when I want. I'm also in a position now where I probably don't have to work at all if I choose not to. I basically I have the freedom, safety and security that I was working towards. I think I've pretty much met all of my needs in this regard.
But what now? I have no reason to do anything. I'm not social, I'm not in a relationship, I'm not religious anymore, I'm not particularly interested in acquiring material things and I have no real hobbies. I don't think I would be able to trick myself into seeking something, because ultimately I know that whatever that thing is, once I acquire it I'm going to be in more or less the same predicament I'm in now.
I realise I'm very fortunate (lucky) to be in the position I find myself in. It would be great if I could somehow use my time and resources to do some good for others. That would make sense, even if it means having to make sacrifices. But that's not what I'm doing. And whilst rationally that sounds like the right thing to do, it doesn't particularly excite or motivate me. Instead I'm just wasting all of my free time. Literally just wasting my life away.
I realise how this post may come across to some, and I'm open to criticism (most of which I've probably already made against myself). Ultimately I just want to find a way to move forward and to be doing something that aligns with my values, but nothing seems to excite me enough to motivate me. I've tried just pushing through it and accepting that this is just how it has to be, and if people in this world have to suffer then why should I be any different... but that doesn't seem very empowering or motivating. For someone who already doesn't experience a great deal of positive emotion, "accepting my lot in life" doesn't sound very appealing.
I'd like to be happy, and spending the time I have on this earth doing something that is meaningful. If I could help reduce the suffering in this world, even if it's just helping a small number of people then that sounds far more meaningful than most (if not all) things you can spend your time on. But these are just words, there's not much action or emotion behind them. So in a way my words are just meaningless BS; a story I've made up.
Any ideas what my problem is? Because at this point I don't think I can see beyond my own BS stories. It's quite pathetic really. I guess I never really did transition into an adult.
Thanks
But what now? I have no reason to do anything. I'm not social, I'm not in a relationship, I'm not religious anymore, I'm not particularly interested in acquiring material things and I have no real hobbies. I don't think I would be able to trick myself into seeking something, because ultimately I know that whatever that thing is, once I acquire it I'm going to be in more or less the same predicament I'm in now.
I realise I'm very fortunate (lucky) to be in the position I find myself in. It would be great if I could somehow use my time and resources to do some good for others. That would make sense, even if it means having to make sacrifices. But that's not what I'm doing. And whilst rationally that sounds like the right thing to do, it doesn't particularly excite or motivate me. Instead I'm just wasting all of my free time. Literally just wasting my life away.
I realise how this post may come across to some, and I'm open to criticism (most of which I've probably already made against myself). Ultimately I just want to find a way to move forward and to be doing something that aligns with my values, but nothing seems to excite me enough to motivate me. I've tried just pushing through it and accepting that this is just how it has to be, and if people in this world have to suffer then why should I be any different... but that doesn't seem very empowering or motivating. For someone who already doesn't experience a great deal of positive emotion, "accepting my lot in life" doesn't sound very appealing.
I'd like to be happy, and spending the time I have on this earth doing something that is meaningful. If I could help reduce the suffering in this world, even if it's just helping a small number of people then that sounds far more meaningful than most (if not all) things you can spend your time on. But these are just words, there's not much action or emotion behind them. So in a way my words are just meaningless BS; a story I've made up.
Any ideas what my problem is? Because at this point I don't think I can see beyond my own BS stories. It's quite pathetic really. I guess I never really did transition into an adult.
Thanks