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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So, I've already posted here once, but things changed throughout a year and now I'm more honest with myself and the world. Hope I can get help in understanding my inner self even better from you guys <3 Feel free to ask more questions, I'll try to explain everything about myself.

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
Actually, everything makes me unsure. I don’t understand myself that well, that’s why I always turn to other people for help when I need to understand myself. I always act differently from other situations and not the way I expect myself to act, you know. It’s hard to explain and sounds weird. I think I’m more reserved and more of a «follower» than I want to admit. I always try to be a bubbly one in the group, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. However I hate it when people think I’m a serious person, because I’m not – having fun is a priority for me, and I try not to act all responsible and serious, it drains me and just doesn’t feel right, as if I lie to the world and myself acting all formal and business-like. At the same time I’m not childish, just active and cheerful, but it’s still hard to express my real emotions. It just feels super weird when someone asks me about how I feel and I need to explain – I just can’t I’m frequently being scolded by my parents for «not caring about thing enough», but it’s not true – I can be dying inside, but I can’t show it to anyone with my emotions, even when I’m being accused of acting like an ice queen. I can’t even get angry at that.

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
Everything I care about is having fun and just spending my time doing something enjoyable. I don’t need a good job, I don’t need a soulmate, but I’m always thirsty for new connections and friends are of utmost importance for me. I always need people around me, someone to talk to, I start feeling depressed pretty quickly when I’m left alone. The world full of individuals to talk to feels perfect, socialization is like air for me. The only thing I’m scared of is probably loneliness, I know I won’t be able to make it all along. People are an important part of my life.

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
Actually, it wasn’t that long ago, just a couple of weeks earlier when I took my last exam. Upon leaving the exam central I felt m a g n i f i c e n t. I can’t even explain how free I was that moment! I was listening to Halsey – Hurricane all the way home and I felt like I was ready to fly away to paradise. The fact that I got over every exam of mine was arousing, I seriously felt like a god, tee-hee.

4) What makes you feel inferior?
Lack of attention and physical attractiveness really makes me feel like I’m invisible…it always lets me down and I just want to disappear every time I see that my girlfriends get way more attention. When everyone is having fun except of me it literally breaks my heart.
upd: i know that the problem isn't in my appearance. i get a lot of stares and people tend to tell me I'm really attractive, but I never believe it, it's the problem with my psyche. I have very low confidence and looks always were a problem to me since I hit my puberty. Even though I grew up to be pretty, I still feel inferior never having a relationship or even a casual hook-up. I get triggered every time my friends get attention from guys even if it happens once in a blue moon, i don't know if it's relevant to this questionnaire, as it's a psychological problem, but just in case. yeah, I'm obsessed with looks :с

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
I think about my own feelings and preferences, other people’s opinions never really matter to me. I tend to trust my intuition most and always listen to the inner voice of mine. Pro-cons aren’t a priority as well, I just do things on a hunch, everything that feels right at the moment.

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?
I’m bad at group work, so I try to take control of everything myself if my partners are useless, and overall I tend to influence everything I get involved with. I usually let other people do the dirty work though, but if the final product fails to meet my expectations, I try to change everything from the core. I don’t really trust anyone when it comes to work, but if some other person on the team is more skilled than me, I just leave everything to him. So yeah, group work isn’t my thing. Whenever my opinion isn’t taken as the truth, I withdraw.

7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
One of the last days of school, senior year. Just about a month ago, such a happy day. I was just hanging out at school with my classmates, ditching class, playing loud music in the hall and playing with balloons. The we got caught by a math teacher and nearly everyone was sent to class, but I managed to slip away just in time and hid in the nurses office with a couple of my friends. I don’t really know what was so special about it, but the whole day just felt so bright, sunny and full of teen spirit, that I remember it as one of the best days this year. Maybe I just felt the bond of friendship with everyone more since it was nearly time to part ways, but that day felt perfect.

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you? (Are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc)
The one thing I understand after graduating high school is that I’m sick and tired of theoretical knowledge. I hate memorizing things, learning something by a book, it just doesn’t feel interesting anymore, even though I used to like reading and learning when I was a kid. I can’t even read a simple fiction book now without feeling bored to death. I’d be much more eager to learn how to cook, drive a car, dance or play basketball. It’s both interesting and undemanding, which fits me perfectly. I guess I went from a bookworm to a sporty type really quick.

9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?
I’m not organized, I live in a harmony of a mess, I never make plans for the future and schedules scare me on the deep emotional level. Chaos is freedom~

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
Oh my, I really don’t understand this question. If you want to hear something on that matter, please ask something more specific…

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
I don’t really care for other people and their needs, I’m focused solely on myself and it never changes. Sticking to my principles and following my beliefs is what I prioritize, everyone else better think of themselves on their own. Of course, I would care for someone else’s well-being, but only if this person ruins the atmosphere in a group with their gloominess and makes me feel worse than I could.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
I tend to speak before mulling over the topic in my head, but whatever I say is at least sincere. I’ve never doubted my words even when I hadn’t given them the proper thinking, so I don’t see how this can be a bad thing.
About that I’m not really sure, since both can be quite enjoyable with the right people, but I’d prefer group discussions, since the more people are involved in the conversation the more interesting and catchy it gets. And running out of topics seems pretty impossible, since someone always has an interesting thought to elaborate on.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
Jumping into actions is what I do 24/7, knowing what awaits you is no fun at all. I’m good at getting used to new situations and finding a steady ground in a swamp of new things, so it’s never a problem to me. Sometimes feeling a little bit confused and unaware is more exciting than knowing everything in advance.
And yes, of course actions speak more, I’d even say words don’t speak at all. If you want to get to know the real form of someone, look at what he does in his life. Always works.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
Obviously, I’d go out with my buds without second thought. I can watch the show afterwards (god bless internet), and spending some quality time outside with my pals is way more enjoyable anyway.

15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
I withdraw from everyone I know. I sleep a lot, act irritated and grumpy, stay in bed all day and constantly drink tea while watching some cartoons. I just need some time alone to calm my nerves and recover, since I can’t help taking my anger out on people around me. Also, the majority of my buds are demanding and mature, and when I’m stressed out I can’t talk or even think about adult stuff, that’s why I turn to cartoons. Starvstheforcesofevilisthebest.

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
I hate arrogant people who think they’re sooo cool/attractive/etc., that they act as if they’re entitled to your attention. Such humans are just the worst. I also can’t really understand grumpy and shy ones, it’s hard to communicate with someone whose face expression looks like a gouged tomato 24/7. Overly confident people are the once that make me hit the roof though, so I try not to get involved with them, since I’m quick to get extra angry and crush them with my rich vocabulary the second they get close.

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
I looove talking about relationships. I’m a self-proclaimed cupid, and I’m always ready to give a piece of advice to anyone who struggles with their relationship. Personally, I’m not interested in having a boyfriend, but the eagerness to help everyone else with their love issues is sometimes scary even to myself, I guess that’s the most interesting topic for me, I never get tired of babbling about guys and love.

18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life?
Other people, I guess. If they don’t strike my fancy, I can even oversee their existence, that’s the reason I don’t have many friends. For some reason people get drawn to me, but I rarely find them interesting myself. I don’t care for their well-being, sometimes I ask questions like «How are you?», «How’s the weekend?» only to not come across as rude. In reality, I couldn’t care less…only if people possess something that gets my attention, I’ll be sincerely interested.

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
My friends see me as a bubbly, energetic, humorous person. I also know that they see me as a pretty mature one, since I can act seriously when I need to. They believe I am ‘the sun’ of our clique, the one who always brings in the laughs. I’d say they are right, but I’m not sure who I am myself. I’m growing up, and I notice that I steadily become more and more calm, collected, reliable and responsible. I still can’t say I’m comfortable acting seriously and formally, but it feels as if my childishness evolves in adult type of charisma and charm. I’m still a joker and a trickster, but in a more elegant way. I sure do become more feminine, even though a couple of years ago I tried to convince myself that womanly equals weak, I begin to understand the perks of being calm, elegant young woman, who still has a sense of humor and sarcasm to her.

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?

I’d surely go outside with friends, I think it’s already clear that that’s my perfect pastime, lol. We’d go somewhere to the beach since I’m fond of the sea, find a solitary place and enjoy ourselves talking about everything in the world, fueling the fun with some whiskey and letting the nature infiltrate our bodies with it’s wonders. It would be perfect.

1,060 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
ok, so I have this little questionnaire as well from Ms. Wisteria's topic, maybe it's going to help clear some things out. hope someone still replies owo

1) These are links of two different photographs. What is your interpretation of each image? What comes to mind when you view the photographs? Which one do you prefer and why?

1st Photo: well, street artists are finishing up their masterpiece. This pic really beams with positivity, somehow reminding me of this hectic lifestyle of big cities, since passing people don’t even pay attention to artists. It’s bright and vivid, looks attractive and evokes positive emotions inside of me. I guess it’s because I imagine this scenario happening somewhere in a big city in summer, where life beams and blooms around every corner. And yeah, out of these two pics I obviously prefer this one.
2nd Photo: a man riding a horse in some kind of fog. this one is obviously different, it evokes some kind of apathy and dreaminess inside of me. I get a feeling that this photo was taken in 80s or so (obviously not), since the atmosphere it gives off is really tranquil, old and mysterious. I don’t feel anything negative about it, it just doesn’t make me happy.

2) What do you do in a tight situation? How do you deal with an obstacle?

It’s kind of a tough question since I rarely find myself in such situations, but what I know for sure is that I become calm, collected and even a little bit cold-blooded when I understand that I can’t just ignore some problem, so I take it head on and leave no room for doubts, hesitation and especially fear.

3) How do you like your surroundings to be in places such as home or work?

I’m a bit sloppy really, keeping everything neat and tidy isn’t my thing. At home I’m careless with everything, even with my own clothes. It’s always something baggy and weird, but comfortable, and this can describe my house as a whole. It’s never dirty, but never organized as well. My comfort is always a priority, and I don’t care if it looks beautiful.
Well, I can add that I prefer bright colors like green, red, yellow and orange, my flat is basically full of these colors, and at work I can’t stand a big amount of grey and white, I prefer everything to be more vivid. And I love people, I can’t get enough of them, really. If I have to work somewhere reserved and empty, I’m gonna get sad and unmotivated in no time.
And I like sun. And being outside. Yeah.

4) What is your occupation? Why do you want to reach your goals? Or do you prefer to keep your options open? Why?

I’ve just graduated high school and applied for university, I have quite a plan ahead of me, but I’m always keeping it flexible. I don’t know if I’ll be able to work as whoever I want to know in the future, so there’s no point in making long-term plans. Keeping your options open is key.

5) When someone has wronged you, do you tend to forgive them or hold it against them?

No one dare wrong me. I’m serious. I’ve never been bullied or even talked to cruelly, since if something like that ever started I immediately gave the person a piece of my mind. And yeah, sometimes I even needed to fight. A lot. But it always worked, and I’ve never experienced someone trying to be cruel to me anymore. I’m not the type to shy out and run away in tears, I won’t stay quiet and ignore being bullied, I’ll always speak up in a very aggressive manner, which usually scares bad people off.

6) 1. What makes a conversation interesting to you? 2. What type of people are you drawn to? 3. What type of people drain you?

For a conversation to be successful I need to be involved in the topic, be interested in elaborating on it and, of course, have every other participant caught up in the conversation. Seriously, the best convo is the one where all the participants can’t stop talking and even lose track of time, so interested in everything they are.
2) It really differs for girls and guys. I prefer really bubbly, energetic and cheerful girls, but when it comes to the guys, these same traits put me off. I feel comfortable only near calm, relatively quite and somehow even mysterious men, who pose as a riddle that I’ll be glad to solve.
3) Arrogant, bossy, loose cannons, downers, overall sad, melancholic or extremely confident, self-centered people.

7) Do you prefer to work in sync with others or alone without any interruptions or distractions? Why?

I honestly tried teamwork, but that just rarely work for me. I am used to counting on myself only, so I never let other people disturb me during work and I never help out. Group projects are just a load of bull to me, it always happens that either I do all the work but everyone else gets a credit for it as well, or I simply do nothing and get the goods. Can’t say I don’t like the second one though.

8) Do you tend to share your emotions openly or keep sentiments to yourself and those you are close to? Is this what you prefer to do?

It’s weird, but I easily open up to strangers and acquaintances, and I never really can show emotion to my friend and family, It just always feels forced and artificial, even though I know that my feelings are 100% legit. I am way better at expressing myself on paper though, so it’s never a problem with internet pals.
I’d rather learn how to show your true emotions to everybody, I keep some really strong emotions to myself against my will.

9) Are you more: Objective (practical and realistic, completing concrete tasks using the resources around you)
or Subjective(imaginative and personal, reflecting deeply on your thoughts and feelings)?

100% subjective. I’m dreamy, I only believe my own feelings in whatever type of situation, facts and objective reality don’t really matter to me that much, I can easily overlook general truth if I perceive things differently.

10) Describe your hobbies and favourate past times. What is it about them that you enjoy?

I really love spending time outside with friends, since being alone is really depressing. I get caught up in my thoughts and just can’t stop overthinking things, I wish I could just turn off my brain sometimes. However, video games, books and movies are sometimes even better (really rarely tho, outside is life), and what attracts me the most is the presence of a plot, something I lack so much in my real life. There’s always an objective in a game, actions are fast-paced and frequent, you can’t just not fall in love with that! And the feeling of living someone else’s life, being a spectator for a breathtaking story is more than wonderful for me.

25 Posts

I'm sorry I didn't read the second questionnaire, but by the first one I would guess you are an ESFP. It surely feels to me that you use Fi, since you care about values and relationships but not too much about people (which would be Fe, I think). The rest was kinda of a guess, but SP goes for living in the moment (Se maybe) and E for the energy and interest in social interaction. What do you think of that?

Not very scientific, but I hope it can help in some way :)

See you

1,060 Posts
Discussion Starter #4 (Edited)
@VonBlanc Thank you for the input! I actually considered ESFP for quite a long time myself, but I decided to indulge into cognitive functions and sort everything out, and found out that I have a completely different stack of functions. Lol.
I will add some more info about myself based on the concrete life experience, since it makes it easier to tell the truth. Feel free to read if you're interested~

1) I do love to think that I value myself over other people, but in daily life I tend to prioritize the groups' well-being over my own. If someone wants to go to restaurant A and I'm the only one who prefers restaurant B, I'll do what others want just for their sake. And it happens all the time - I give in without a fight, not because I like to be walked over, it's that I don't want other people to feel sad and leave the group. Even if I persuaded everyone to go to B place, I wouldn't be happy at all seeing sad faces of my friends. Also I'm always the first one to notice if someone else's mood changed, and I'm always the one to ask 'What happened? How can I help?'.

2) People tend to ask me for advice since whatever I suggest always works. It's especially noticeable in love advice (I like talking about other people's feelings and helping them with their love affairs, whereas I myself am never comfortable talking about my crushes and feelings overall due to insecurities and low self-esteem. I need constant affirmation (???) from society and people around me that I'm pretty/kind/etc., or I'll start burying myself in negative thoughts and self-loathing.) Sometimes I even feel like I don't have any minor preferences at all, I just want everyone in my group to be happy. I will only show emotion if I have a strong preference in something, and that can change everyone else's mind about a topic, but usually I focus on an atmosphere in the group and nothing else really.
When I wrote that I 'don't care about other people' I meant that I have no intention of 'serving' people I have no connections with. Sometimes I even see others as NPC, lol. Sometimes the ones who want to befriend me see that as arrogance, but I don't really want to seem mean, I just don't care about those who are nobody to me!

3) Also I tend to be judgemental of others from the very moment I get to know a person. Somehow unconsciously I sort the particular person as 'good' or 'bad' based on norms. I frequently talk about people behind their back and gossip a lot (I'm not proud of that), but I have no problem telling the person every single thing I think about them to their face. I never stay friends with people I don't like anymore, but I'm never really openly rude and just prefer to be nice to the point.

4) I don't hate confrontation if it's with people I don't care about, on the contrary, it's even exciting when a little cat-fight and drama spice up my routine. But if some quarrels start among my friends or family, I hate it to the core - maintaining peace and seeking out common ground is what I see as my duty in such situations.

5) One more negative trait of mine is that I consider my own opinion the only true one. I don't even take other peoples' opinion into account, if things are not done my way, I'm going to get mad and throw tantrums (not too much, it's usually just an act to persuade everyone I'm right), and if everyone is still opposing me, I'm out.

6) I hate when people try to tell me what to do and when people ctart caring about me too much. Weird, right?
Well, the first one is understandable, I think, but in particular I can't stand when people force their plans and schedules on me. I do like planning, but I kind of do this in my mind and for myself solely. I never tell other people how to live their life and expect the same, but sometimes others just have to force their agenda down my throat...for example, it's a very dumb situation, but today I woke up to my phone ringing and it turned out to be my friend. It was already 10 in the morning, but I'm a night owl type and I really need to sleep as much as I can now, at summer, since I don't work anywhere and I have a lot of free time. During my last high school years I was fighting insomnia and even now I always feel sleepy but can't fall asleep, so I'm really sensitive about it. And when I complained to my friend that she woke me up with her call she recklessly replied 'Ah, it's fine, you should've gotten up already.' I freaking flipped out. I just turned her down and went back to sleep, but inside I was burrrrning with rage. So yeah, I hate it when someone breaks my inner schedules like that.
And for the second one, I hit the roof when adults call me and ask me where I am, who I'm with, what am I doing. It sounds childish and rebellious, but I hate this overprotectiveness! I wish everyone could leave me alone and just let me take care of everything myself.

7) I simply love labeling everything and everyone around me. I love the idea of high school cliques for that reason, it just feels appealing to me - sorting everyone to where they belong. That's why I like all this 'sorting' stuff like Hogwarts Houses for example, and in particular when other people tell me where I belong. It's not like I always take other peoples' opinion about me at face value, but it's always interesting to know how other people see you.

8) I love being outside and enjoying nature or city life equally, but I can't help building connections between what I see now and my previous experiences. I'm quick to build associations with music, images, ideas, atmosphere. People rarely understand me when I see something magnificent and beatiful in a simple scenery, but it's my memory of the past what makes it extremely appealing. I don't really know how to describe it better, but that's what makes me think I'm more of a Si user.

9) I have a vivid imagination, but I'm not an idea machine. I can't just brainstorm brilliant ideas out of nowhere, I need some external events to give me food for thought. That's why all of my dreams and ideas circle around reality and its' events.

10) All of my logical assumptions are always in order and go one after another. I'm not really good at viewing a system from different angles, I'm more forward in that kind of thing. Also I tend to always question the root of the problem rather than everything else, I always want to understand why something works the way it does, I'm never satisfied with a brief description. (That's why teachers at high school hated my questions since they always wanted me to just believe everything they say, and I demanded more in-depth description.)

11) That's a little bit personal, but there's this guy I like since primary school (pitiful, I know) and the way I behave around him might give a clue to my type. I'm overall quite shy around people who strike my fancy and I've never dated anyone, so this is probably hopeless, but throughout years I tried to make him my boyfriend with things I thought I would never do to anyone. This crush made me really caring and willing to do nice things to a guy. For example, in grade 9 I presented him home-made chocolates (that was the first time I cooked myself without any help). I think they turned out horrible, but nevertheless I put them in a cute little packaging and asked my friend to give it to him. I was enormously shy at a time (and not really attractive) so I never told the guy it was me. Then, high school senior year, I decided I must try something out once again and got close to him in a week (that was revolutionary for me) and one day he accidentally ripped his shirt nearly apart. It was clearly visible that the shirt couldn't have been saved, but without second thought I walked up to him and said 'I can sew it back together for you if you want.' I HATE SEWING. I can do it well indeed (my mom's never missed a chance to teach me something like that back in the days) but i truly dislike it with my whole heart and I haven't touched a sewing machine in years already. Whatever happened next is of little importance, but that's what I was driving at - he triggered this weird caring side of mine which I didn't even know existed. And from that point on I started taking care of everyone of value to me, not only him, but all of my friends and family as well.

12) Socializing is my life literally, I even like the word itself, lol. I can't live long without interacting with people and talking to someone face to face, so if I have to stay even a single day at home without going out, I feel depressed.
So, I think that's it. I might have forgotten something, but it looks good to me. Hope it clears things out a little :wink:

25 Posts
Hi, again! I forgot to say, but sorry if my english is a bit confusing, it's not my first language.

I actually read the two remaning posts now. By the last one I get the Fe vibe I didn't get in the first questionnaire. But it seems to me that you couldn't use it as first function or you would have noticed it's presence more clearly. I read somewhere that we usually overlook our secondary functions. Yet, no doubt you are into the extraversion cathegory. So that's a bit hard to figure out (maybe it could be your first function and you just didn't like it too much?). If that's the case than you can only be ESFJ, since it also has the Si you mentioned.

So, the types that remained for me were ESFP, ESFJ and maybe ENFJ. I see you chose ESFJ, I' think that makes sense. You say you can think and stay calm in challenging situations, so that could be the inferior Ti, since you access that when under pressure.
That also works for the ENFJ, but I didn't see any Ni suggestions in your posts, and since you like to be outside and stuff like that, you are probably a sensor anyway. I don't get the Ne too much as well, but it may be because you still didn't develop that as much.

In the end I would stay with ESFP and ESFJ. So, if you are still not sure, you could try taking a test that is about those two types (I've seen INTJ vs INTP, and some other types, maybe it's worth checking). Now, if you are sure about ENFJ, then you are probably right, haha, since only you can really know.

Hope this may be useful in some way.
See you!

1,060 Posts
Discussion Starter #6

It's ok, english isn't my first language as well)

I guess me not liking the idea of caring about others makes sense, I was raised in a family where everyone neglects other peoples' feelings (both of my parents are Fi users) so it could make me supress my own first function in the childhood.

Inferior Ti is out of the question indeed, and the reason you probably didn't see much Ne is because it's more likely tertiary, so I might develop it later in life. Ni gets it's inspiration within, and unfortunately I can't relate to this at all, I don't even really understand the gist of this function after all that reading; Ne, on the contrary, makes sense to me.

I'll look into these tests and see once more which type I identify with better, so thank you for the suggestion!
Hope you find your type soon as well~

218 Posts
You seem plenty ESFJ to me. A lot of what you say fits with the general characteristics to a T. A thing I observe often in ESFJs is exactly what you mentioned: that they sometimes come across as unfeeling, though it's really that they don't show it, and not that they don't have feelings. Also, a lot about what you wrote is ESFJ. You have your own beliefs and intentions and whatnot, but you watch out for what other people are feeling and overall seem to like knowing all these different relationships and emotional states of people; what you said about opening up to strangers and not family strikes me as very ESFJ. Some of what you wrote, like how you basically watched out for harmony a bit like it's a duty, is especially Fe-Si, in my eyes. "Of course, I would care for someone else’s well-being, but only if this person ruins the atmosphere in a group with their gloominess and makes me feel worse than I could." - Stuff like this is all over your posts in this thread, and it's very Fe; you seem dominant Fe for sure. People will sometimes think keeping options open and being disorganized is a P characteristic, but it's more like a characteristic of anyone who's lazy and disorganized, so it doesn't make you any less J.

"I do love to think that I value myself over other people, but in daily life I tend to prioritize the groups' well-being over my own. If someone wants to go to restaurant A and I'm the only one who prefers restaurant B, I'll do what others want just for their sake. And it happens all the time - I give in without a fight, not because I like to be walked over, it's that I don't want other people to feel sad and leave the group. Even if I persuaded everyone to go to B place, I wouldn't be happy at all seeing sad faces of my friends. Also I'm always the first one to notice if someone else's mood changed, and I'm always the one to ask 'What happened? How can I help?'."

VERY dominant Fe. There's this thing where Fi is all about your own feelings, and sure, there's an inner focus, but Fe people have just as much inner feelings as anyone else; they just go about things differently from people with a Fi. As such, the fact that you think of yourself isn't inherently Fi and more like something anyone would do. However, stuff like what you wrote here, and other instances in the posts come across as very Fe. Now, I'd actually do a similar thing, but I don't think about the group at all: the focus you give on the group and group harmony and overall not ruining the mood, among other social stuff, wouldn't be on my mind at all; just seeing other people sad because of me would get me sad, leading me to go for their choice (and that's if they're people I know well or like; otherwise, what I'd probably do is just not go with them). The way in which you process the situation and go about it is how it's clear that you have a dominant Fe.

To be honest, if you'd asked me to pinpoint what makes you seem ESFJ from what you write, I'd say everything so I struggle in narrowing down examples ^^'

"All of my logical assumptions are always in order and go one after another. I'm not really good at viewing a system from different angles, I'm more forward in that kind of thing. Also I tend to always question the root of the problem rather than everything else, I always want to understand why something works the way it does, I'm never satisfied with a brief description. (That's why teachers at high school hated my questions since they always wanted me to just believe everything they say, and I demanded more in-depth description.)"

Seems like a Ti problem. A lot of my ESFJ classmates struggled with teachers because of this in the exact same way (and other people with Ti would sometimes encounter hurdles like this too, where the teachers would often not understand where they were even coming from with their questions and get frustrated and whatnot). In general, this is a pretty Ti perspective. Your second post is actually more telling of all your functions than your newer one, though your newer one also immediately made me think "this is an ESFJ" and says a lot about who you are as a person.

Personally, I think you're an ESFJ, as you're likely a dominant Fe and you don't have much Ni in the way you perceive and process things. You have yourself identified as ESFJ, and I honestly agree with this evaluation, though, if you're in doubt, you can always analyze other extroverted types you may know and see in what way they differ from you in the way they go about things. I think that could be a quicker way for you to reach a conclusion, as you're observing real life people and how they take care of things rather than looking through descriptions that may or may not be accurate, which oftentimes plunges them into doubt to begin with.

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Discussion Starter #8
Thank you very much for such detailed overview! I didn't even know some seemingly unnecessary things I wrote actually did shred some light on my type :D
Of course I will continue researching mbti, mine and other types as well (glad I have a lot of different people around to see the contrast), but I finally feel like I managed to find where I truly belong :)
Thanks again for the input!
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Okay everyone, I don't understand anything anymore. This whole MBTI thing really got me doubt every trait of mine.
I've been doing some research on types overall and ESFJ as well, and I keep feeling this weird uneasiness in the back of my head, like something doesn't really match up. I've been brousing an ESFJ section of this forum plenty as well, and I really can't find a lot of things relatable.
Then I took this test -

and I got ESFP.

Then I went here -

Here, this can help break it down more for you: scroll down, and click the interaction style that fits you best.
(What you and others would agree with, not with how you'd wish to be.)
descriptions + links @ the bottom

I didn't read what type uses what style to figure everything out blindly, and in a long run I got ESFP. Again.

So then I went here -

Take a look, go through what you may think you may be, and even ones that you are curious about; let me know what you think~ profiles in the 1st column

And read descriptions of both ESFJ and ESFP, and to my surprise I found out that I don't relate to ESFJ-person nearly at all. Here's what I can and cannot agree on, both types (green - fully agree, red - fully disagree, blue - don't care/don't understand):

I like to be involved and doing something. Much of my day is keeping contact with a lot of people. That’s an important part of my life. I enjoy communicating with people, talking, going places and doing things, watching people and learning from watching. Bringing people together is a real pleasure. Sharing and time spent with friends and family, a special person, is very satisfying. I like to think about other people, and find I feel tremendous pleasure in reading them. When I see someone who just doesn’t talk, sometimes I feel maybe they’re missing something. I don’t have trouble revealing what is very close to me, even with a complete stranger if I feel safe. Sharing confidences is a gift. I will anticipate others’ needs.

A perfect day is feeling I’ve made a difference to someone. No tension, no conflicts, just something I’ve solved in a way that feels good to the best of the standards I’ve set for myself.

In my personal life, friends are important, and being a good friend and having good friends I can depend on makes life a pleasure and a joy. Long-lasting friendships or new ones—I generally care about others and they sense that. Maybe I care too much sometimes, but I want to listen to their background and rationale of why they did something. Part of me wants to tell them the answer right away, but sometimes people just want someone to listen. When I have a problem I bounce it off of people I respect and take into account how others involved will be affected. It can be difficult to take a hard line when people are going to be slighted, but sometimes I have to go through a lot of conflict, do what I must, and step on some toes. But I don’t like conflict.

It’s hard for me to be confrontational, even to the point where I can leave myself in a bad place because I really don’t have the nerve to confront someone and say really what I think needs to be said. I tend to skirt the issue, put it off, because I am very aware of hurting people’s feelings. But I am not afraid to face a challenge. I will stand up for the rights of others in spite of many obstacles because I believe in justice and helping people. Intolerance and prejudice, people who don’t stand by their word or lie to cover up hurting someone else—these raise the hair on the back of my neck. It turns my stomach when people intentionally take advantage of and hurt others. It’s not what the person says so much as how it’s being said, to the point where I don’t hear the message. I want to hear where the person is coming from.

Routine for me is actually something that can be comforting. I think the rhythm of it helps center me. I am good at organizing things. And you’ve got to have some fun out of your work in order to get up every morning and go. I like doing something just for fun, a random act of kindness. Appreciation and meaningful support can come in a variety of packages—when people intuitively know what I need or a hug or a day off. I’ve done a lot of the civic-type thing over the years in the community, volunteering part time. That’s very rewarding. It’s important to raise my kids to be good citizens, to be compassionate in their relationships, to work hard and stick with it through the hard times. Generally what goes around comes around if you wait long enough.

At times, even though by nature I want to be understanding, I can find myself torn between going by the rules and understanding. Often I’m frustrated with decisions because I’m caught between different values, and I have a reputation for expecting others to set goals for themselves and then try to obtain those goals. I tend to be a little too sensitive. I take criticism to heart. Please know that I may not respond right now but I heard you and I will respond.

I follow through on my commitments and obligations and believe in honest relationships and honest communication. I admire people who are not afraid to show affection, who are not embarrassed to try things even though they may not be good at them or are willing to make a change in their life, and who stand up for the rights of others and are not afraid to speak out when they feel someone is out of line. Personal growth means listening to myself and thinking about things, putting my priorities in order, and understanding that setbacks are only for today and that I can go on.

I like variety. I like people. I am whatever is happening at the moment. I accomplish as much as I can to keep from getting bored—I find something I like and can tolerate, that I can see myself good at down the road. And I’m almost always up and positive. I always have a compliment and look for the good in a situation. I love the simple things in life, and I’m also interested in people and a lot of different things. I look at life’s possibilities: the excitement of what might come out of a situation and what I might learn about a person and how I can help.

Freedom is the most important thing. If I don’t have freedom, then what do I have?

I love talking to people. Making and having friends is gratifying, and I value my friendships. People see me as someone they can tell something to and not just as boring or average. Somehow I charm people, and I am very genuine in my interest. I observe the game of life, and a lot of times it’s about being open and observant on my part. Whenever I find things getting heavy, I say something light to make everyone laugh again. I am offended when things are impersonal and harsh. Some people are so serious and many people feel guilty about having fun. Fun is important because I can get more work done in a few hours than most people do in a whole day. My biggest contribution is in just listening to what people are trying to do, probing and pushing and mirroring back to them what I hear they’re saying.

I love not having to practice and still being good at something. I don’t like having to do a lot of planning. I want to accomplish something and move on to the next thing. I am really good at pulling things off, especially if there is a last-minute crisis. It’s just a matter of trying to keep things together, doing what you have to do in the moment. Being outside, getting physical, is also something I have a need for. Everyone always wants me on their team. People say I’m lucky.

I want to be of value. And I want there to be an equal exchange. I will give a lot but not so people use me—that limit is a very fine line. Sometimes I don’t have a clue what the person needs, but given enough pieces I can help them solve their problems.

Don’t let me sit down and have to do a repetitive task. I want to be efficient and fast. I’m able to simplify things and say whether it’s going to work or not. I have fairly grounded views and can see things fairly quickly. I don’t get mired down. I believe in moderation and balance. I only want to do something once, and any structure I put on is for a short time only, to be sure we’re all heading in the same direction. People don’t expect me to be organized, but I am.

I believe that if there’s a problem, until somebody actually does something about it, then it’s all just talk. It’s not real. If there’s no real progress, then eventually I’m out of there. I like people to know that they have a real place in the world, that they can do something, that they can actually physically act and that will make a difference. Everyone is unique and has a contribution to society, and maybe they don’t have a plan, but I feel great when I can help someone realize they are special.

When the moment that I am living in becomes difficult, then I close up physically. I just move through life and react as things come up. I can get worried about the future and go down this long road of awful possibilities or thinking about the past, especially if others will be affected.

I am an individual. I can’t imagine following others, and it’s a waste of time if someone’s not going to do their best. I want freedom for being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Don’t tell me I can’t do something. Rules and regulations infuriate me. Doing something by the book isn’t always logical or reasonable. What makes a difference is if you do a good job or not. Do a good job and I respect you. I want to do my best.
So that's kinda it. Sorry for being annoying with me questioning my type, but even though ESFJ sounds flattering, I don't want to be typed as an image of myself and not real me. Something about the type feels off, and I just want to be 100% sure for good. Maybe I am really an ESFJ, maybe ESFP. Maybe none of that.

And I'm afraid you guys are my only help here, I don't seem to be able to figure it out myself. Maybe ask some non-transparent questions or stuff, something that could set me on the right path. I'd appreciate your help really much.
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I can't see any way that you're not an ESFP.

I couldn't make an argument for ESFJ if I tried. ESFP to the hilt.

Your opening post here should be on the ESFP wiki page, it should be the golden standard of ESFP.

If ever someone asks "am I an ESFP?", I'm going to ask them if they're @Clockheart.

I mean you can dive further into it you want, indulge yourself pretending to be other types, but I mean, it doesn't get any more ESFP than your opening post here.

I could go on a rampage through your dom, aux, tert and inferior functions, they're all right there, with what should become textbook definitions of how they manifest in each position.

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Discussion Starter #11
If ever someone asks "am I an ESFP?", I'm going to ask them if they're @Clockheart.
Lmaooo, this made my day xD

I could go on a rampage through your dom, aux, tert and inferior functions, they're all right there, with what should become textbook definitions of how they manifest in each position.
Pahleeease do! If you have time, of course, but Goood do I want to see everything in detail and just understand everything in a whole. I'm so sick of thinking 'yeah I'm that type!' and feeling extremely not in my element in a long run. I think the only types I've never considered are introverted ones...
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