[Lad]

It's all subjective isn't it? We all have different desires for what we want to see in someone, but what is it for you?

What does being a 'man' encompass? What stage are they at in their lives -- or maybe it doesn't even matter? Does a 'man' value ________ above all else? What makes a man wake up in the morning? What does he believe in? What does he desire?

Answer this topic in any way you wish, there are no guidelines. It can be a broad definition, it can be a list, it can be your current partners traits, it could even be that special someone you're searching for.

Of course, gay and bi-men are encouraged to share their thoughts. Straightees, you're welcome to chime in, but let the others have the floor for the most part.

 

[under skies]

Confidence is manly. Not confidence like arrogance. I mean that I really like and respect when a guy can accept himself as he is, disregarding societal expectations/conventions. I think there is often more pressure on guys to be stereotypically manly than there is on girls to be 100% feminine (though women certainly have their own kinds of problems in society). You can wear a pink shirt and love cats and fawn over Emily Dickinson, and you're still manly in my eyes as long as you don't care what people think about any of that. It's just an attitude, I think.

Plus, I kind of love a guy with an open mind, which I guess I just alluded to, to an extent.

 

[susurration]

Whatever he naturally is. Whatever he wants to be. That's a man to me.

 

[Goosefish]

They're incredibly fragile on the inside, but they cover it up in whatever way, and you don't even realize it until you get older and then you start to wonder, how many times did I hurt his feelings because you can tell when you're older that though he picks on everyone and everything that he's truly quite sensitive. Some of them are irritable. They have their quirks and will stick to them. They complain a lot. They can be incredibly hard headed, and I think, that is because their parents favored them as children or could not control them as teens. They generally have been through a lot and have great stories to tell. If you smile at them or pay them attention, they seem to be put under a spell. If they compliment you, you listen because their opinions matter the most. If they ask you questions you don't want to answer, other people will tell you to ignore it, and if you ignore them instead and answer anyway, you'll fall further into a trap. They're sometimes isolated and hard to get to know. The ones that don't like children, when they have their own, they change. They like to win. A lot of their fathers reinforced strange values in them as children, and sometimes, it's easier to humor these behaviors than to argue them. They'll pretend that they care less than they really do. They'll have their hobbies and obsessions that you find somewhat interesting but, at the same time, barely understand. You're nervous about hugging them because you don't know if they want to or just put up with it because it is the custom. They're surprisingly tolerant and social. They will try to impress you and will sometimes go beyond their limits to prove something. It seems like they will someday grow up and leave you to start their own lives, but even when they do, they'll be around. They're incredibly reassuring.


This is a giant block of observations about the men that have been around for most of my life. Some of the observations relate specifically to one person. Others will relate to five or six people.

 

[Mei]

A man accepts himself already and is confident with himself, whatever he chooses to be. I recently came across someone who is quite masculine in a modern way. To me, it is the same primitive thing. Able to look after yourself, and to also offer your partner something. Whether this is financial, emotional, mental compatibilities. As long as it is also something that you yourself beliefs in, this will always come across as very attractive to the other person, cos you then offer passion.

For me, I find this particular person attractive to me, is because he has come across some adversities in his life, and it is something that I myself resonate with ? He has gone out there and proven to himself, and to the world what he is capable of. Of that reason, I find that attractive. Basically, he went against stereotypes and judgments too, and made himself a Man.

I think every guy probably have a story behind themselves too, maybe because you don't believe in it, that, you possibly don't necessarily give off the impression that you have something to be proud of? This is just a thought. This guy that I met, is also an ENTJ too, and obviously I just noticed that he continually bat his feathers like a peacock. lol. Yes, he continuously does this, I noticed.

 

[Somniorum]

A miserable little pile of secrets.

BUT ENOUGH TALK, HAVE AT YOU!

*cough* spot the reference

 

[Stolen]

A man is someone whose chest hair can rival disco-era Bee Gees.

 

[etherealuntouaswithin]

Someone who does not allow his "weaknesses" to consume him.But rather seeks to master himself and redirect them successfully.In such a way that provides substantial benefit and an example, positively embodied, for others.From one's family to the masses at large.

 

[pageofadiary]

A man is a male who has a healthy relationship with himself so that way he can truly experience love. Someone who doesn't let ignorance be his bliss but lets knowledge be his guide. A male that doesn't limit himself to what society expects of him and is willing to experience and live beyond that. He doesn't need to prove his masculinity and refuses to see everything outside of himself (ie. females) as an object that lives and breathes for him. Someone that is confident but not conceited and arrogant. A humble soul that enjoys life and is on a path of self awareness. Understands the meaning of self love and may carry insecurities but won't allow it to be detrimental to himself and others. Someone that has overcome much negativity but uses it to his benefit. He is constantly growing mentally and becoming wiser than he ever was. A person that welcomes change in himself and others. A feminist, an activist. Someone who faces his emotions head on and doesn't hide from them. Someone who isn't afraid to live passionately and remain true to who he is and who he wants to be.

I could keep going but I shall stop :happy:

 

[Disfigurine]

<-------------------------This

 

[Raichan]

A man is one who is able to have compassion and push aside from being controlled by his ego even in the face of tough times. A man is courageous, but more because he wants to stand up for what's right rather than prove himself. A real man, to me, has humility, gentleness, compassion and a drive to make things better for others.

 

[Blackbeard]

Whoa what a refreshing read from you ladies.

 

[Cobalt Blue]

Wasn't a man formerly a lad? refugee was Lad, Hotspur was Lad; randomly picked name btw. That's quite a lot of fake accounts you have there, based on my conspiracy theory.

 

[Stolen]

Wasn't a man formerly a lad? refugee was Lad, Hotspur was Lad; randomly picked name btw. That's quite a lot of fake accounts you have there, based on my conspiracy theory.

What........???

Refugee, Hotspur and Lad are three very different people.

 

[Disfigurine]

o_0

10char

 

[LittleHawk]

I'm attracted to men who dare defy social norms, who are willing to think for themselves and face life's challenges head on and who are considerate of other people. However I'm thinking more recently that it doesn't matter what I feel a 'man' is, because something totally different might come along and rock my world

 

[Absurdist]

Whoa what a refreshing read from you ladies.

Yea its very interesting.

 

[OpRise]

I'm not sure the "best friend" candidates make for the "best lover" candidates (past experience only). That upsets me because I like the best friend category hands down! But there's something Else. :/

 

[vintagelovin8]

ha! interesting thread. ok-a man: is brave, protective, caring, intuitive, and rational. -BAM perfect man right there.

 

[Vaan]

Someone who does not allow his "weaknesses" to consume him.But rather seeks to master himself and redirect them successfully.In such a way that provides substantial benefit and an example, positively embodied, for others.From one's family to the masses at large.

this is very good ^^ i agree alot, a real man is one who is kind, generous and caring, but while being gentle, he is also firm and honest. the real man will be the one that everyone gravitates towards because of his ability to tell it as it is but not hurt anyones feelings in the process, the one who is always there to help his cobbers and even help people he dosent know. Brave resourceful and diplomatic, Chivilrous, noble and endearing. philisophical and intellegent. Warm hearted and polite. Insigtful and Wise. protective and strong. understanding and empathetic. Loyal and Long suffering

there are lots more but thats a good start