[goodgracesbadinfluence]

I know I am in the minority here, but I could probably not have a serious relationship with someone who is less emotional than I am. And I'm trying to find out if there are other females who share this opinion.

In saying this... I am not very emotional, at all. I feel emotions, but I keep them to myself most of the time. When I do share them, apparently (according to an ISFJ and an INFP) I speak of them in a matter-of-fact way, so it doesn't seem like I'm even discussing my deep emotions. I do feel things very deeply, but it doesn't come across that way.

I couldn't be with someone who never "let me in" emotionally at all, but I don't desire a "deep emotional connection" with a partner and I honestly don't know what that even means.

I hear a lot of women complaining that he "just won't open up to me" or "he never talks to me!". I personally don't usually have this issue, unless I believe that keeping his emotions in is making the situation harder on himself. I don't even really fully understand the issue.

So, basically, am I the only one who thinks this?

Men can participate too, if they'd like. In some way.

 

[viva]

Well... I'm pretty damn emotional. Actually, I'm pretty much as emotional as it gets. ENFP type fours are a force to be reckoned with...

So, with that said, if my boyfriend was more emotional than me, our relationship would probably just be one big dramatic fireball of crying and screaming and way too constant heart-to-hearts and other unpleasant things.

My boyfriend is an INFJ, so he's feelery enough to satisfy my emotional needs-- he's pretty emotional for a dude-- but I love that about him. He is not, however, as emotional as I am, and I like it that way.

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

Absolutely NOT. I like a firm hand, a strong mind and logical train of thought. My husband can be emotional at the right times ( INTJ ). There is an equal balance of rational/emotional behaviour from both of us, it works amazing. There is something about an emotional man that turns me off in a romantic setting. I don't mind emotional men who i don't have to live with ;p Now when i say emotional i mean all touchy feely with his words, Ikky, not for me. Bring on the strong thinkers who don't have to express or modify in an emotional way, yum, turn on .

 

[JamieBond]

My boyfriend is probably going to end up being more emotional than me, simply because Se and Ti rule my life. If a guy doesn't want to talk about his feelings, I rejoice. In fact, my first bf was a suspected ISFP and one of the reasons I broke up with him is because always wanted to talk about how he and I felt about "us."

 

[bionic]

I rarely cry, so no... I couldn't handle someone who doesn't have a strong identity of themselves or got overdramatic with their emotions. One thing I hate is a man who gets super emotional and expects his woman to pick up his emotions. I'm not down to deal with weaklings like that. I see it in some of my friend's relationships and it's freakin' scary.

I cannot deal with a man who is melodramatic BUT I wouldn't mind one that has a sensitive side, takes responsibility for his feelings, and can express them. There needs to be some balance.

 

[GoodOldDreamer]

Interesting how a "man with emotions" seems to have an immediate negative connotation associated with it. "OMG, that guys feels something?! RUN AWAY!!!! THE HORROR OF IT ALL! OMG, THE HORROR!!!!" God forbid a man have a heart as well as a brain (if he's even viewed as being THAT lucky...) :tongue:

Anyway, I'm not an overly emotional guy. In fact, because I have Fe, I'm often more reactive to my partner than proactive on my own accord. I do, however, prefer to be with an SO who appreciates that Fe and encourages it in her guy from time to time.

I'm stoic and no-non-sense more than enough as it is in my day-to-day. And I doubt I qualify as a "man's man" or whatever. I'm not afraid to hug and be lovey-dovey with an SO who appreciates it. roud:

 

[topix]

Yes, to the original topic. But I like girly guys and I'm not a lady ^_^

Interesting how a "man with emotions" seems to have an immediate negative connotation associated with it. "OMG, that guys feels something?! RUN AWAY!!!! THE HORROR OF IT ALL! OMG, THE HORROR!!!!" God forbid a man have a heart as well as a brain (if he's even viewed as being THAT lucky...) :tongue:

Hetero women are generally most attracted to positive masculine traits, and strong emotion is mostly thought of as feminine, of course..

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

yes.
not extremely emotional, but more emotional than me (I am not emotional at all)

 

[Ace Face]

I like men who can get emotional, but recover rather quickly. There needs to be some sort of balance. I certainly don't need anybody that is more emotional than I am in my life.

 

[reletative]

I'm an ISTP type 5. sooo yeah. one robot per relationship.

 

[knittigan]

Yes, yes, yes. I'll have all the male NFs, please and thank you. Mostly NFJs, but I'll take the odd ENFP if you make me.

Oddly enough, I never used to be as interested in them, but now that I've had a relationship with an emotionally intelligent, warm INFJ, you would need to drag me kicking and screaming to make me date another T, especially another NT.

 

[snail]

I would prefer a man to be more emotional than I am, or at least equal. If he is less emotional, then he probably isn't going to understand me fully, and he is likely to end up feeling contempt for my feelings eventually, accusing me of overreacting whenever I am upset by something he doesn't care about. I would rather be alone than be with someone who doesn't take my passion seriously, and the best way to avoid being stuck with someone who will grow to hate me for being "too sensitive," or "emotionally needy," would be to choose someone who is more like I am.

 

[TrailMix]

It depends on what you mean by emotional. If you mean in a dramatic sense, then no, that would frustrate me. However, I love people with emotion. REAL emotion.

I also express my emotions in a sort of matter-of-fact sort of way, but I feel them very deeply. My boyfriend says that I often come off (when speaking of my feelings) almost flippant about them, because I discuss them like they are logical thoughts or physical sensations as opposed to "emotions". I do express them sometimes though; i'll cry at a sad movie, get excited... I dont show PERSONAL negative emotions.

However, I really respect other people who do and my boyfriend does. He isnt dramatic and I've seen him tear up only once, but he is definitely more expressive of his emotions and is an emotional person, which I respect and very much enjoy sharing in. If a guy were less emotional (on the outside) than I am, they'd probably frustrate me. I want a guy who is comfortable talking about feelings. I like it haha

 

[LQ9]

I've been with one. There were ups and downs. The emotional intimacy was wonderful, but he was incredibly insecure. I spent so much energy just reassuring him that I cared about him. I felt like I was walking on eggshells because if I said anything wrong he'd beat himself up and think I was rejecting him. It was exhausting. I also felt a bit smothered by his affection sometimes.

So... that didn't work out too well... I definitely prefer guys like my current boyfriend, who seems unemotional on the surface, but is kind and affectionate underneath. That also has its challenges, though--it took forever for us both to let down our walls enough to become close.

Still, I think whenever there's too much of an imbalance emotionally between two people, someone's going to feel neglected and someone's going to feel smothered. Probably best to find an emotional match.

 

[WickedQueen]

I enjoy befriending with many types of people, including emotional men. However, when it comes to a criteria of my future man/future husband, I would set a standard. I want a man who's less emotional than me.

-WickedQueen's INFJ colleague-

 

[Mendi the ISFJ]

I dont mind a man showing his emotions, but when i think of your scenario the extreme pops into mind, a whiny sniffling person that takes everything the wrong way and to heart. This is almost always not the case. I would like a man who shows empathy.

 

[Thalassa]

No, not MOAR emotional. MOAR emotional bad. Potentially "just as emotional" is also bad. I spent six years with an openly emotionally expressive ESFJ, but he was pretty masculine in most regards (influenced by macho Latino culture I think because of his father's family) ...and I liked that he was expressive. However, I didn't like that there was hardly ever a "rational one" when we had arguments. I had to *handle* him, and I'm not a good *handler.* I sincerely hope his new wife is an ESTP or something, who is just like "yeah cool story bro" and keeps flipping through her magazine of choice as he's causing a scene. Because I could not, hardly ever, just *not react* to the things he did.

Soooo. Let's say "slightly less emotional." Slightly less emotional is good. I want a man to be more level-headed, firm and rational than me in many regards. But on the other hand, if he was TOO rational I think he'd be unforgiving of my flaws. I kind of like when a man can relate to sometimes having strong overwhelming emotions. Just to a lesser degree than myself. Please dear god.

 

[WickedQueen]

I enjoy befriending with many types of people, including emotional men. However, when it comes to a criteria of my future man/future husband, I would set a standard. I want a man who's less emotional than me.

-WickedQueen's INFJ colleague-

LOL. I got hijacked.

I personally don't mind an emotional man as long as he is also a rational person. Although there are cases where the person is being emotional and irrational at the same time, I still don't think that being emotional is equal with being irrational.

 

[dejavu]

I'd like a guy who's about as emotional as me. Not more, not less, would be my ideal.

A guy who's in touch with his emotions, but who is also in control of them, is very attractive to me.

 

[strawberryLola]

I like emotionally wise guys. Something about their ability to introspect deeply into something makes me.. melt.

Most of my lasting relationships were with guys who were emotionally self-aware and could communicate very deeply how they felt in a genuine way like they've experienced enough to know enough about how the simple things really matter.