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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do you consider yourself a late bloomer?

There are a lot of young people on here and they cry out in angst that they feel unprepared for what the world will demand of them and that being INFP is a disadvantage. But if you're closer to 30 years old or older, do you consider yourself a late bloomer and does your personal self growth seem to be on schedule according to your own understanding of yourself and your rate of development throughout your life so far?
 

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Absolutely I am a late bloomer. Always have been and have always thought of myself as one. My self-growth seems to be correlative to my understanding of myself somehow and I don't know when I'll stop growing, hopefully never. Self-growth is parallel to self-consciousness as well as consciousness(awareness) in general, and in most ways, if not all(probably all), they come out to the same thing. I'm 27 now. I seem to be looking down from a great height to any other year in terms of growth.

But I suppose late-bloomer mostly means a relation to others rather than a relation to oneself. But in this way I don't know any other person that comes close to my latebloomerness, other than maybe my one friend. Of course, I can't go into other people's minds, but most people stay fairly recognizable once they settle into themselves. There's just a dramatic difference for me, over the last ten years in particular, to the point that my self before that seems unrecognizable outside of some things in it's core. I was so consumed with anxiety in my teen years, and even much later, that I had no chance of discovering myself even if I could have. Anxiety and depression were who I was. I am myself only now. But only until I find out in some future that I am only then ha ha. If it means anything(and it probably does) my female INFP friend has the same drastic latebloomerness. Famous INFPs I can think of seem to have it too somewhat, so maybe it's an INFP "thing". Or maybe not.
 

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I spent the first 27 or 28 years of my life in a sort of holding pattern, trying out different ideas, wondering when I might figure it all out, just trying to find my place and identity in the world. I felt as though I had somehow conned everyone into believing that I was an adult and even now, a couple of months from my 35th birthday, I find myself watching myself as though from the outside being 'adult' as though it is all an act.

I'd say this qualifies me as a late bloomer. Thankfully, this is not all bad. I still have a sense of awe and wonder, and curiosity, that is generally not seen among people my own age, at least not in public.
 

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I was so consumed with anxiety in my teen years, and even much later, that I had no chance of discovering myself even if I could have. Anxiety and depression were who I was.
Me too! And when I finally went to see a psychologist in my mid-20's, one of the first things that I said to her was, "I want to get better, but there's a part of me that identifies with the anxiety and the depression and I don't know how to get rid of it." I think it has something to do with my Enneagram type (4) and identifying with my emotions (and by extension, my disorders). Now that I've finally started making some good life decisions I'm finding that that part is getting smaller and smaller, although I doubt I'll ever be rid of it entirely.

@UpClosePersonal I would class myself as a late bloomer too, and I'm perfectly comfortable with knowing that things are still improving. It makes it easier to reconcile with the fact that I still don't know what my purpose is (if in fact I have any), and that I'll probably jump from career to career for quite a while yet. It also makes me hopeful that my interpersonal skills will get better, because I know I still have a long way to go with them. XD I don't know how I would deal with it if I believed the opposite, that my best days are behind me.

As for a schedule, I don't really like them so I don't tend to think in those terms. But I'm comfortable with where I am, and the direction in which I seem to be heading.
 

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Yes. I felt (and looked) twelve at twenty. I'm twenty-six now and feel like I am in my late teens. I learned to drive and got braces last year. Oh, and I still have hormonal acne.

I'm looking for forward to my twenties which will apparently occur during my thirties.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
@UpClosePersonal I would class myself as a late bloomer too, and I'm perfectly comfortable with knowing that things are still improving. It makes it easier to reconcile with the fact that I still don't know what my purpose is (if in fact I have any), and that I'll probably jump from career to career for quite a while yet. It also makes me hopeful that my interpersonal skills will get better, because I know I still have a long way to go with them. XD I don't know how I would deal with it if I believed the opposite, that my best days are behind me.

As for a schedule, I don't really like them so I don't tend to think in those terms. But I'm comfortable with where I am, and the direction in which I seem to be heading.

This one's for you, @ElliCat (it's nice to see you again. I haven't seen one of your posts in awhile). It's from Charles M Schulz who created Charlie Brown, one of the most beloved cartoon series in America...

Text Font Adaptation Professor Smile

I always felt it was the process in life and not the arrival. I think the secret to avoiding depression is to realize that life is as good as your own personal experience. It becomes burdensome when you try to live it on someone else's terms. To improve your life, improve your experiences either through a change in circumstances or a change in your viewpoint of your current circumstances.

This is a real struggle for INFPs when they are in a relationship such as with their family of origin or with a significant other because without being careful and aware, we can lose ourselves in trying to make things more amiable by acquiescing too easily and too often. It may take much of a lifetime of experiences to realize we're doing that and we have to learn how to better communicate our feelings and needs.
 

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Do you consider yourself a late bloomer?

There are a lot of young people on here and they cry out in angst that they feel unprepared for what the world will demand of them and that being INFP is a disadvantage. But if you're closer to 30 years old or older, do you consider yourself a late bloomer and does your personal self growth seem to be on schedule according to your own understanding of yourself and your rate of development throughout your life so far?
Definitely a late bloomer here. I was kind of aimless until my 20s. Just trying out different things and following whatever interested me in the moment.

Now I’m 27 and I love my life. I think the amazing thing about being a late bloomer/early experimenter is that once I settled down, I know this is the path I want to take, and I have a lot of experience to back me up. So, I doubt I’ll have a middle-age crisis and change course halfway.

I think for infps we kind of experienced that existential angst in our teenage years thereabouts and it’s felt very acutely. At least, that’s the pattern I notice. So, it takes a while to settle down.

Some parts of me feels like they're on schedule. Other parts feel way behind in development. But that's life. Who's at 100% anyway?
 

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A wizard never blooms late nor does he bloom early. He blooms exactly when he means to!

That's basically how I feel about the whole topic. I've always tried to develop myself as a person and in the last decade especially I've grown immensely.

During the journey that is my life I made good decisions that allowed me to grow and move forward. I made an equal amount (at least) of bad decisions that held me back in life, although I believe my bad decisions did make me grow as a person. I dared to make decisions. I lived. Quite a few people are more 'successful' than me in life or at work. Does this make me a late-bloomer? No. I probably wasn't ready to bloom a few years ago. Now I am and I am making huge progress in life. I am blooming at the exact right time.
 

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I'm definitely a late bloomer, that is to say I haven't bloomed yet :S so here's to hoping it might still happen, although the near future doesn't exactly look promising.

I feel like the past decade has been used for... not much at all. I haven't finished anything, haven't acquired any skills, still directionless, and engulfed in insecurity, depression, anxiety, and I still haven't gotten over the fact that I'm older than 18!
 

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This is all great to hear! I'm fifteen and extremely anxious and depressed. My parents just think I'm whiny and lazy because I don't do too well in school and they both, as well as my sister, are extraverted sensing types who don't really get INFPs. I go on about being a writer and doing all these other things that they don't consider very logical at all. It's kind of funny, INFPs being "the idealist", they always talk about me to other adults as too idealistic for my own good. I hope, like the rest of you, that I am just a late bloomer
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
This is all great to hear! I'm fifteen and extremely anxious and depressed. My parents just think I'm whiny and lazy because I don't do too well in school and they both, as well as my sister, are extraverted sensing types who don't really get INFPs. I go on about being a writer and doing all these other things that they don't consider very logical at all. It's kind of funny, INFPs being "the idealist", they always talk about me to other adults as too idealistic for my own good. I hope, like the rest of you, that I am just a late bloomer
It's for young people like you that this thread exists. Things go better in your life when you know what to expect and it's important to not panic when your life doesn't immediately fall into place according to some unrealistic expectation that it will.
 

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Yes. I felt (and looked) twelve at twenty. I'm twenty-six now and feel like I am in my late teens. I learned to drive and got braces last year. Oh, and I still have hormonal acne.

I'm looking for forward to my twenties which will apparently occur during my thirties.
You and I both.. but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Experiencing things late in life doesn't necessarily constitute a lack of maturity. I have seen people my age who have done a lot of things this worldly life has to offer but still act like idiots as their world fall apart despite their experiences.. Going clubbing everyday, drinking and having sex is not considered maturity. It's just human needs.
 

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well they still grow....... lol
I'd say you can bring a lot of your growth to a halt through denial or telling yourself things like you've matured you're an adult now you know what you need to know or through egocentricism or hate or ignorance or close mindedness or yada yada. I guess some people stop growing sooner than others. But can pick back up later. Probably has a lot to do with being wise.
 
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