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I've seen the sentiment that people tend to become more laid back and happier later on in life.
I wonder if you feel this is true to your own life and why you think this is the case.
Why are you happier or not, now than when you were younger?
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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"This ain't my first rodeo"

Being comfortable in your own skin comes with experience. The "first time" for everything is the hardest. Once you live through something, you learn from your mistakes, gain confidence, and realize that if it ever happens again, you're prepared and ready to face it. Bring it.

With time, I've gotten a better sense of who I am and what I want. I've become a better version of myself when I was younger. I liken it to a sauce that's been left on the stove on a slow simmer. The flavor gets richer as it condenses.

I've gotten a better handle on what's really important and what's just bullshit. Less things make me angry, more things make me laugh. You reach a certain point when you realize that there's more of your life behind you than ahead of you. It makes you re-evalutate what you want to spend your time doing (and who you want to spend it with). It's easier to say "no" and walk away.

Some people never learn these lessons, though. They just get old and cranky. I don't have time for them or their negativity. Life's too short. :wink:
 

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Spam-I-am
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i am waaaaaaay more happier as a eldster, i have theory's as to why but do not know fer sure
could be a hormonal thang in my younger days it's amazing i never killed anyone, came close a couple of times though
 

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I think as we age, we say to ourselves "heck...if I've made it this long and I'm still standing, what's another XX years". I think we realize that life will find a way to see us through, and we simply don't stress the small stuff as much anymore.
 

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It takes a lot more to frazzle me now than earlier in my life. I've faced a lot more dragons now and lived to tell about it. It turns out that a lot of what we fear isn't nearly as bad as we make it out to be.
 

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I didn't enjoy my teens or early twenties, always trying to fit in.
My best time was mid thirties to mid forties, I had money, energy and time in other words freedom to enjoy life.
Now in my sixties my energy is fading, I so enjoy doing things but it takes a lot more effort
 

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All my social friends are boomers and still married to their first spouse. I've known them when they were in their 20s and 30s. Fast forward 25 years, I am now getting to know them in their 50s and 60s.

At least for my friends (about 15 to 20 couples), they are much happier today as empty nesters and nearing retirement. They all have grown kids (well adjusted and accomplished), savings/retirement money, satisfactory career, and outside interests and friends.

I respect and adore them, seeing how content they are at this stage in life. I hope they will continue to enjoy good health, sharp mind, and the continuing companion from their spouse. I want to be their friends for the next 30 years.
 

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MOTM June 2015
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I feel a bit like the odd one out here. I enjoyed the years that my kids were at home more than the current state. My husband and I are now empty nesters for the most part. We have two children, both young adults. The youngest will only be a teenager for about 2 more weeks. I really miss going to basketball games, plays, and other events that our kids were involved in. To me there doesn't seem to be much to look forward to.

Our oldest is married and lives more than a 1,000 miles from us so we only get to see them a couple of times per year. When grand kids arrive, they won't really know us because they'll only see us a few times a year. Our son is attending college out of state and is also more than 1,000 miles away. So it is just my husband and I most of the time now. My husband works a lot, and we don't really have that much time together.

Are finances are some better, but we are currently paying college loans for both of our kids. That eats up a good chunk of money. So we are still paying for them but don't have the benefit of getting to see them. When we do go to visit them it usually cost us around $1800 per visit. (hotels, gas, food, recreation, etc.)

Perhaps we just haven't had enough time yet to get use to being empty nesters. It still feels strange at times for it to be just my husband and I. If I had things to do over again, I would have focused a little more on being a couple and a little less on being mom and dad. We are having to relearn the couple part. Perhaps with some more time, we'll get this down and start enjoying ourselves.
 

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Are finances are some better, but we are currently paying college loans for both of our kids. That eats up a good chunk of money. So we are still paying for them but don't have the benefit of getting to see them. When we do go to visit them it usually cost us around $1800 per visit. (hotels, gas, food, recreation, etc.)

Perhaps we just haven't had enough time yet to get use to being empty nesters. It still feels strange at times for it to be just my husband and I. If I had things to do over again, I would have focused a little more on being a couple and a little less on being mom and dad. We are having to relearn the couple part. Perhaps with some more time, we'll get this down and start enjoying ourselves.
We didn't have children but my brother in law and his wife went though this last year ( they are a little younger , both will be fifty next year). They had a very difficult six months when their two girls moved out. They are OK now and enjoying being a couple again (I expect till the grandchildren come along).
You could try what they did:

If you and your husband agrees why not think of yourselves as a new couple - go out a lot and do things together - have weekends away - try and forget how well you know the other person and their faults - discover them again.
 

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MOTM June 2015
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We didn't have children but my brother in law and his wife went though this last year ( they are a little younger , both will be fifty next year). They had a very difficult six months when their two girls moved out. They are OK now and enjoying being a couple again (I expect till the grandchildren come along).
You could try what they did:

If you and your husband agrees why not think of yourselves as a new couple - go out a lot and do things together - have weekends away - try and forget how well you know the other person and their faults - discover them again.
I would love to take weekend trips, but my husband's job makes it difficult. I have a friend whose kids moved out a few years ago, and she and her husband had the same problem. They had invested everything, time, money, etc. into their kids. I think they even went through some counseling. She said they were told to go out on dates, and vow not to mention their kids. She said it was hard, and that they even had to learn how to have a conversation that didn't revolve around their kids. She said she spent time in advance trying to figure out how to converse with her husband, without talking about their kids.

Kids are great, and mine mean the world to me. However, if I had it to do over again, I would definitely make sure that my husband and I spent more time focusing on the couple aspect of our relationship. We didn't do a good job of making time for each other. When the kids left, it was almost like we didn't know how to act around each other when we weren't being parents. Sounds strange, I know. We are trying to do better with this, I guess it just takes time. I know I will encourage my kids to do better at this than we did. Get a sitter, go out and enjoy being with each other. We didn't do that, and I can now clearly see why we should have.
 

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Well, I'm definitely more laid back, but happiness has always been relative if not elusive for me. I don't get as stressed and uptight about some things as I once did, but happiness comes and goes. I've never really been happy or not happy, just somewhere in between.
 

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I feel a bit like the odd one out here. I enjoyed the years that my kids were at home more than the current state. My husband and I are now empty nesters for the most part. We have two children, both young adults. The youngest will only be a teenager for about 2 more weeks. I really miss going to basketball games, plays, and other events that our kids were involved in. To me there doesn't seem to be much to look forward to.

Our oldest is married and lives more than a 1,000 miles from us so we only get to see them a couple of times per year. When grand kids arrive, they won't really know us because they'll only see us a few times a year. Our son is attending college out of state and is also more than 1,000 miles away. So it is just my husband and I most of the time now. My husband works a lot, and we don't really have that much time together.

Are finances are some better, but we are currently paying college loans for both of our kids. That eats up a good chunk of money. So we are still paying for them but don't have the benefit of getting to see them. When we do go to visit them it usually cost us around $1800 per visit. (hotels, gas, food, recreation, etc.)

Perhaps we just haven't had enough time yet to get use to being empty nesters. It still feels strange at times for it to be just my husband and I. If I had things to do over again, I would have focused a little more on being a couple and a little less on being mom and dad. We are having to relearn the couple part. Perhaps with some more time, we'll get this down and start enjoying ourselves.
I enjoyed my time with my kids too, way more so than with my wife. She was that way too, because my wife and I really had very little in common except for our kids. When the kids finally did move out, there was nothing left for my wife and I. We couldn't re-connect because we never truly connected in the first place.

My daughter moved out first and got married at a very young age. The marriage didn't last and we got her back, because she decided to move back home and live with us again. I was sad that her marriage failed, but was I ever glad to have her back home again. My daughter and I would spend time together periodically.
 

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MOTM June 2015
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I enjoyed my time with my kids too, way more so than with my wife. She was that way too, because my wife and I really had very little in common except for our kids. When the kids finally did move out, there was nothing left for my wife and I. We couldn't re-connect because we never truly connected in the first place.

My daughter moved out first and got married at a very young age. The marriage didn't last and we got her back, because she decided to move back home and live with us again. I was sad that her marriage failed, but was I ever glad to have her back home again. My daughter and I would spend time together periodically.
It's funny how overwhelming all the activities and work can sometimes seem when you're raising your kids. Yet you miss it so much it hurts, when they are gone. I realize now that I was guilty of letting my life revolve around my kids way too much. Letting go of them has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I know it is what is best for them. I wish that I had taken more time out for my husband during the child rearing years. I regret very much so that I didn't see that I was neglecting my relationship with him. Fortunately, we are reconnecting and things keep getting better for us.

I am sorry that it did not work out for you and your wife. I imagine it would be really tough when you have invested so much of your life into a relationship that does not work out. Hopefully you are able to continue to have a good relationship with your kids now that they are grown.
 

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I am sorry that it did not work out for you and your wife. I imagine it would be really tough when you have invested so much of your life into a relationship that does not work out. Hopefully you are able to continue to have a good relationship with your kids now that they are grown.
Many marriages end in divorce for any number of reasons, it was a lot of lost time, but I was ready to move on almost instantly. In fact, I'm in a fairly good relationship right now. Yes, I have an enduring connection with both of my kids and I see them regularly.

Thank you.
 
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