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Newbie over here. Hello and THANK YOU all for your contributions to this amazing site. I'm an E/INFJ who is in a bit of a pickle. My intuitive side has been overpowering these days. I'd like to be able to harness it while being patient with my family and friends who simply don't "get" it. They worry, I get frustrated. My frustration leads me to be blunt and not so polite ("please stop talking" quickly becomes "omg shut up already..."). They give me tough love when all I need is love. Simply. I NEED space and they are refusing to give me any, "because [they] love me." They are basically forcing an intervention on me, when all I want is to lick my wounds in the comfort/privacy of my own home.

Without getting into too many details right now, would any of you be so kind as to point me a direction that I can start at? Think of this as my Day 1 birthday. What is the first thing I should read, or any advice from veterans? Thanks. I really appreciate it. I'm at the end of my lifeline over here (spiritually) and don't know where else to turn.
 

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As far as spirituality goes, Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse is my go to.

As far as good books to read go though, there is a book called "Boundaries" by Townsend and Cloud gave me the mental framework to detach and walk away from trying circumstances without taking on peoples crap. Another book title "Difficult Conversations" by Stone, Patton & Heen gave me the tools to be assertive in my communication and take responsibility only for my contribution. That book also provides tools to cope with how and why we take things personally- how our identity is impacted.

Regardless of what you decide to do about your family and friends, advice I'd hand to you would be that it doesn't matter who you are, or what you did, how you see yourself, or are seen by others - you're worthy of love and belonging. It doesn't matter who you are because everyone is. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself, first. That would be something good never to forget, even if sometimes it can be easy to. :)
 

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You must be firm. If they will not allow you time, you must take it. Screen phone calls, refuse meetings, etc. And you must not feel guilt over it. This need is a primal one. I am not sure if Ni can be harnessed, but it can perhaps be understood to a degree and must be indulged. The same for Introversion. Sometimes you simply must withdraw from the company of other humans to recharge.

I am also a fan of Hesse, and recommend Steppenwolf as well. You might try The Razor's Edge by Somerset Maugham, one of my favorites. It tells of a man, almost certainly an INFJ, with similar conundrum dealing with those who do not understand him (in this case a fiance), but following his intuition and non traditional inclinations anyway. I personally think both Hesse and Maugham were INFJ.
 

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So you have something I don't: English speaking parents. (I'm assuming.)
I too try to discuss my needs of INFJ with my family, but they just don't understand.

Use it to your advantage. Print this off: Portrait of an INFJ, and show it to them. Do what I wish I could do.
 

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Let me see what I can do here. I'm pretty new to the forums too, but not new to the struggle.

I would say, the first place to start is to know yourself in a way that you can articulate to others. Vocabulary helps in communication. I would start with a book on introversion. This is one you can read and use as a tool for other people to understand.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

Boundaries is a wonderful book on learning how to identify and articulate to others what your needs are and where they are encroaching on your ground.
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud

This one isn't your typical self-help book, but there are some sections that might really help you to develop clearer insight and the boundary work is clear cut with her ideas of the circle of trust. It might also help you while you are in the process of getting from here to where you want to be. The skills taught in her Artist Way series are things you can use forever.
The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron

I personally would start with these three books, a spiral notebook that you love, and a backpack. Because these books will have you trying new things, seeing possibilities in yourself you might not have seen before, and feeling really inspired.
 
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