[Zomboy]

Have you ever had days where you just threw caution to the wind and did everything without taking a second thought?

I've read about this "shadow ESTP" side to the INFJ here in the forum that is often deeply repressed by a consistent need to remain composed.

For me, it manifested in an imaginary best friend that eventually developed into a second identity. This personality makes up for the traits that I lack-- being brash where I am passive, blunt where I'm too kind, brave when I'm afraid. For a long time I've resented this aspect of myself, but as of late I've embraced instead.

I realized that being at war with myself was putting me way off balance. I respect my 'shadow side' for taking initiative when I'm too afraid to make a move. Without it, I'd never take chances, but it does have it's drawbacks.

Do you believe in this 'shadow side'? How does it manifest in you? Do you like green eggs and ham?

Okay... Lift off!

 

[Gypsykid]

Heh. Yeah, This isn't the best thing in the world. I usually let the world go to hell around me (stop cleaning, let things rot, say the overly critical bitchy truth to people without it being constructive in the bit, I'm wittier, more bold, direct, I abandon my obligations without second thought, and I'm filled with a passionate poison that infects the well.) When it happens, it destroys people because they never see it coming. I don't like my shadow. I see myself turn into the villain instead of the loving friend that I should be.

 

[Jamie.Ether]

It's happened to me when I've been stressed and then had alcohol.
I got into a physical fight with someone last year because of that. Not pretty.

 

[Zomboy]

It's happened to me when I've been stressed and then had alcohol.
I got into a physical fight with someone last year because of that. Not pretty.

That is one of the main reasons I generally avoid frequent drinkers. They often tend to be mean drunks. Me? I'm a lovey drunk... I'll wrap myself around someone nearby and fall asleep.

 

[TemptedFate]

Hmmm, usually occurs when I'm very full of energy; I get to the point where I can no longer contain it. The other time it's happened is when I get tipsy lol... I usually come off as this silly, non-thinking, loud, and not caring what anybody thinks type of person when it does happen. I'm not very fond of it, because when I think about it later I realize how stupid some of the things I said were. However, it makes people laugh and I tend to be a more engaging conversationalist so I guess that's good. I think I also get this way a bit when I'm stressed out: I become witty, I start to become very direct with the things I say, I let my insults out rather than keeping them to myself, etc. I don't think it's the best thing to happen, but sometimes it is nice to just let go of the control and let things happen.

 

[Zomboy]

No one ever said balance couldn't be chaotic.

 

[HorribleAesthete]

I find the secret identity quite interesting, though I cannot really say that I personally identify with the shadow ESTP side. I have noticed that my online persona is more open and bolder than I am in real life (though still governed largely by Fe). I suppose the anonymity the internet affords allows much of that repressed persona a sort of release.

I am likewise, usually a rather pleasant drunk, as long as I am not stressed or antagonized. And I do not eat ham and eggs, green or otherwise, but I suspect that they might be tasty, if ultimately toxic.

 

[The Ultimate Square Peg]

This is so interesting to me.
For the longest time, I thought my ESTP shadow was some sort of alter ego, or maybe who I really was. it wasn't until recently that I learned that those traits were my shadow...
I get that way when under extreme or prolonged stress.
I become harsh, critical and unemotional.
I become very unproductive and neglect my responsibilities.
I also become more extroverted, speak my mind more and am more likely to be confrontational.

My ESTP shadow definitely makes me feel stronger, but I never feel happy when I'm like that.

 

[nuue]

Being 20 I haven't really drank. Turning 21 in 2 weeks! My parents are having a betting pool as to what type of drunk i'd be. Oh how I love them so. haha. xDD

I somewhat have a grip on my shadow functions and let them roam on a very very tight leash. Me and my friend who sits next to me in studio insult each other and battle it out with words, comments, criticisms, bitter words, and stuff, but it's generally all fun and games and we both know that -- but I would never ever ever ever act that way toward anyone else but him. Not on purpose anyway.

Most of the time my shadow comes out to play when I am beyond stressed. It's overall not a pleasant thing to deal with. It's like a balloon with a hole in it, roaming around the room at its top speed. Chaotic until nothing left.

 

[Curiously]

I have accepted my shadow sides because there is no light without darkness, or light and dark exist side-by-side, or some kind of jazz like that. This reminds me of once hearing that God and the Devil aren't actually enemies and instead take part in mighty fine discussions and debates with each other. And maybe this is why I have personal qualms about that stereotype of INFJs being a saintly type. Maybe many INFJs are, but I'm definitely not; I am an eternal student of life, so I'm destined to make mistakes, act a fool, be a jerk at times. If I were an angel, my halo would be tilted/crooked anyhow, and I'd have a smirk on my face.

 

[Vivid Melody]

Forget alcohol. I stuff my face with food when I'm feeling angry lol. My shadow ESTP is named Cookie Monster. Feels so good when it's happening. Feels like shit when it's over.

 

[Curiously]

That is one of the main reasons I generally avoid frequent drinkers. They often tend to be mean drunks. Me? I'm a lovey drunk... I'll wrap myself around someone nearby and fall asleep.

Moi aussi! I am such a sweet, sweet, lovey-dovey drunk. I turn into a teddy bear.

 

[Ntuitive]

I have accepted my shadow sides because there is no light without darkness, or light and dark exist side-by-side, or some kind of jazz like that. This reminds me of once hearing that God and the Devil aren't actually enemies and instead take part in mighty fine discussions and debates with each other. And maybe this is why I have personal qualms about that stereotype of INFJs being a saintly type. Maybe many INFJs are, but I'm definitely not; I am an eternal student of life, so I'm destined to make mistakes, act a fool, be a jerk at times. If I were an angel, my halo would be tilted/crooked anyhow, and I'd have a smirk on my face.

I'm like this. Remember that "what's God's personality type?" poll, and the majority voted INFJ? I was like.. come on. Why do people think INFJs are on this pedestal? Is it the online descriptions or what? Ha.. however.. a couple people have told me out of nowhere that I'm like Jesus because I don't discriminate anyone :/ what am I supposed to think? That's an interesting thought that God the Devil chill. It would make sense to me.

But no I'm a passive aggressive jerk sometimes. I confuse people. A lot people just don't really understand my reasoning. I don't know too much about shadow situations. I often feel guilty and odd about the weird behaviors I have that sort of deviate away from who I think I should be, and who I think others think I am. Oh well it doesn't even matter. ESTPs comin' through.
~Flying Whale-Like Creatures~

 

[Curiously]

Oh well it doesn't even matter. ESTPs comin' through.
~Flying Whale-Like Creatures~

You a gangsta.

(And I suck at properly quoting people... )

 

[Zomboy]

Yes! Balance is certainly important. I too have been referred to as 'modern Jesus' due to my generally kind and generous nature, but it just sounds like a joke to me.

I don't think anyone 'saintlike' would spend a night burning messages onto the road with homemade napalm goo.

 

[Killbain]

Getting older tends to balance this out a bit. You can't really behave uncautiously and too out of context whatever your personality type because you look like someones Dad dancing!

The 'alter ego' can be useful in kicking yourself up the backside when inertia sets in and I have inadvertently honed my extrovert side by playing and singing in various bands over the years.

And I am the worlds friend when drunk!

 

[rambleonrose]

Have you ever had days where you just threw caution to the wind and did everything without taking a second thought?

I've read about this "shadow ESTP" side to the INFJ here in the forum that is often deeply repressed by a consistent need to remain composed.

For me, it manifested in an imaginary best friend that eventually developed into a second identity. This personality makes up for the traits that I lack-- being brash where I am passive, blunt where I'm too kind, brave when I'm afraid. For a long time I've resented this aspect of myself, but as of late I've embraced instead.

I realized that being at war with myself was putting me way off balance. I respect my 'shadow side' for taking initiative when I'm too afraid to make a move. Without it, I'd never take chances, but it does have it's drawbacks.

Do you believe in this 'shadow side'? How does it manifest in you? Do you like green eggs and ham?

Okay... Lift off!

I believe in it completely. Over the last year or two I have been slowly building mine up.

 

[CoopV]

Yea I've embraced my shadow quite a bit throughout my life... and now I find myself having to put it in it's place or something. I don't know balance is just not my thing lol

 

[segway92]

It's also my second identity. I try to keep control of it but it's not always that easy when I get upset. Because that's usually when it comes out to play and it's rarely good thing when it comes to dealing with issues in my close relationships. I'm just like you said' I'm uncaring, brave, blunt in the meanest way possible and I just don't give a crap about anything. I have to admit I like having this side to me. It helps give people perspective that I don't have to be this sweet, forgiving person all the time. That I won't always take crap from people. That as much as i can build someone up I can just as well tear them down with little effort. I rarely tear people completely down because I've really messed people up from doing it, So I usually control myself enough to give them a nice preview of what i could do. Honestly that's usually all a person can take. Sadly after I've let my E.S.T.P side run wild, My I.N.F.J side comes back to apologize and try to make everything better.

 

[GoodOldDreamer]

Can't really say I've ever fought my shadow or "struggled" to keep him under control. Maybe it's because I'm a 9w1 so I'm generally chill and relaxed and he hardly ever has reason to come out. Stress tends to be the shadow inducer, and I can handle it well for the most part. Especially now that I'm older and have the faculties about me to deal with life better than I did as a child/younger adult.

That said, I don't care one bit for my shadow side. I hope I never deal with him again. When he comes out, the last thing I care about is humanity. It's suddenly a "me, me, me" attitude and a "get the hell out of my way or die" life motto. Now, obviously, this isn't a healthy ESTP, mind you. But since when are shadows ever a healthy take on their particular type?

The last time my shadow was running the show, almost a decade ago now, that was when I had made plans to kill my then abusive father. Like legitimate, the next time I see him, either he or I will die, kind of plans. And then after that, when I came back to my senses, I was so sick of myself, of going to that point, that I made plans to kill myself instead. And really, only the thought of my mother finding me kept me from doing it. >_>

My shadow can continue to rot away in whatever dark hole it came from. May it stay there for all eternity.