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I'm not exactly lgbt, i'm asexual, but i just feel like saying something that occured to me. Basically an asexual realization feels like this trope I just read about on tvtropes called "tomato in the mirror".

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TomatoInTheMirror


Is this something lgbt people experience?
 

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I'm not exactly lgbt, i'm asexual, but i just feel like saying something that occured to me. Basically an asexual realization feels like this trope I just read about on tvtropes called "tomato in the mirror".

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TomatoInTheMirror


Is this something lgbt people experience?
Maybe it's not worth opening this can of worms but I see asexuality as a part of LGBT.

With my sexuality I've always known it's not what the majority feel so, not quite the trope, but I still find it hard to wrap my head around and believe everyone is a little bisexual, or at least, more people are than claim it. Everyone else is still weird for being binary. I'm not the imposter.

For gender though, yeah, I experienced this. There were occasions I'd bring up my perspective on gender and expect everyone else to relate. One particular example was on the conversation of cross-dressing and how right and empowering that was but in particular I said it feels more comfortable than my everyday appearance and I got a baffled look. I think he was piecing it together but too polite to question it outloud. I began to discover other moments like this, realising that others didn't think like I did but I had never questioned before because I just assumed they did.
 

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What's your personality type (MBTI)? ISFP
Is there anything in particular you've come to the LGBT chat for? I think I want to start dating women again and I need to get my head straight
How old are you? 36
What's your gender? Woman
What's your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How long have you known your orientation?
I started getting crushes on girls and taking showers with my friend when I was about 15. I was pretty surprised around 17-18 when I actually felt like I was falling in love with one of my friends, different than the shower girl. By 19-20 I questioned if I might be a lesbian because I'd only loved a woman that particular way, it was different than what I felt for my high school boyfriend. I also wasn't able to orgasm during intercourse with a man until my 20s. I legitimately fell in love with a man in my early 20s and started being able to really get into intercourse. So then I was sure I was bisexual.
Do you feel like you fit any orientation-related stereotypes? Not really. I don't kiss girls for the entertainment of straight men, which is the vile bisexual woman stereotype
Have you experienced any homo- or transphobia?
Only my own family who forbid me to spend the night anymore with my first girlfriend and tried to completely separate us when they started to see the nature of our relationship. Mostly my grandparents. My mom is uncomfortable about it, but she will live. One of my sisters is bisexual too. But I do have a sister who likes to make little comments about how she thinks vaginas are dirty and smelly. I am not speaking to her at the moment.
Are you out? For how long, or are you planning to? If you are, how did people react? I was kinda forced to come out at 17 when my grandfather's wife found me and my then girlfriend laying on the floor giggling and touching each other in a way that made it obvious we were more than friends. As an adult I was quite loud about it when I had girlfriends. As I got older and had relationships with men I learned to keep quieter about it to avoid being seen as a fake or trendy bisexual, and to just not have to deal with it, I'm not going to lie. My family reacted poorly but better than horror stories I've heard about other people and their crazy Christian families.
Do you know many LGBT people? Tons. My sister is bi, a couple of men I've dated were bi, my roommate is bi, I have three trans friends, and I used to sleep next to my one friend who is an HIV positive gay man, it's a long long story. Then I am acquainted with tons of LGBTQ randomly, obviously including women I've been with who are bi or lesbian. And my trans friend who is mTf, I always forget that we kissed once. I also once had a gay man kiss me at a party, he said he had never kissed a girl and wanted to know what it was like. Ok...
Have you been involved in any LGBT organisations or societies? What did you think of them? No.
Have you been to any LGBT events? How were they? Other than the Lillith Fair? JK. No.
Do LGBT considerations influence you politically? No more than any other position I have on equal rights and so forth. So much inequality. I don't focus in one place like that.
Are you in a relationship? If so, for how long? No.
What do you look for in a partner? I like really emotionally intense or mildly unstable women. I don't look for it, it's just what I relate to I guess. I look for femme women usually, and prefer kinda the opposite of my body type, like more pear shaped maybe. I need sexual compatibility, I'm not trying to force a friendship to be something it's not. I like individualistic, dynamic, dramatic women who share my interests. I look for someone without a boyfriend. Did the poly thing in the past, don't want it anymore. I would like to love a woman again the way I loved my two serious girlfriends when I was younger. Everything else has been purely physical or casual.
Have you had any sexual experiences with the same gender? Good or bad? Yes. Both.
Have you had any sexual experiences with another gender? Good or bad? Yes. Both.
Do you go out on the 'scene' (LGBT clubs and bars) much? Can you recommend anywhere? Not anymore. I was hugely in a scene in my late teens and early twenties. Maybe I need to start doing it again if I want to start dating women again.
Name some famous people you have a crush on. Lana del Rey, young Courtney Love, used to have a thing for Fiona Apple, Emma Stone, Kate Winslet, all of the girls from the original Picnic at Hanging Rock, and oh gosh Julianne Moore. I love Julianne Moore and Chloe Sevigny. Lana del Rey's younger sister Chuck. But no one holds a candle to Lana. And Jared Leto, I am bisexual after all .
Show us your picture? Nah. By PM only and maybe not even then.
 
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I'm not exactly lgbt, i'm asexual, but i just feel like saying something that occured to me. Basically an asexual realization feels like this trope I just read about on tvtropes called "tomato in the mirror".

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TomatoInTheMirror


Is this something lgbt people experience?
Not with being bisexual other than people wanting to force you into the binary. I had to deal with relatives saying things to me like "you were never boy crazy, of course you're a lesbian" wait what, I had a boyfriend in high school, what are you talking about kind of a thing. Or alternatively friends being like oh it's a phase and why do you have to read all these books about lesbian feminists. My personal favorite is the woman I worked with who claimed there are two points in a woman's life where she doesn't like men, and I was probably just going through that and hadn't found the right man yet. Men thinking my bisexuality was something to be manipulated for their own entertainment. Men thinking since I am attracted to women I would be attracted to all women and they can just pick one out for me. My own issues with never forming a relationship other than a hook up with a woman occasionally after I left my partner who had a drug problem. My own wondering of why I kept picking men, like I was afraid or embarrassed to have a girlfriend again. Wondering why I'm turned on more by women's bodies than men's in pornography and have an obsessive crush on a female celebrity for years, but keep dating men like I have no choice. My own issues, not necessarily society. I live in an area very conducive to LGBTQ tolerance. Maybe that helps.

I wonder what people who are agender go through. I feel like they're the only people who might relate to bisexuals. Like I'm both. I'm neither. But the agender friend I have seems happy. They have a long term partner. I don't see confusion, just androgyny. Maybe what they go through just isn't visible.
 

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Not with being bisexual other than people wanting to force you into the binary. I had to deal with relatives saying things to me like "you were never boy crazy, of course you're a lesbian" wait what, I had a boyfriend in high school, what are you talking about kind of a thing. Or alternatively friends being like oh it's a phase and why do you have to read all these books about lesbian feminists. My personal favorite is the woman I worked with who claimed there are two points in a woman's life where she doesn't like men, and I was probably just going through that and hadn't found the right man yet. Men thinking my bisexuality was something to be manipulated for their own entertainment. Men thinking since I am attracted to women I would be attracted to all women and they can just pick one out for me. My own issues with never forming a relationship other than a hook up with a woman occasionally after I left my partner who had a drug problem. My own wondering of why I kept picking men, like I was afraid or embarrassed to have a girlfriend again. Wondering why I'm turned on more by women's bodies than men's in pornography and have an obsessive crush on a female celebrity for years, but keep dating men like I have no choice. My own issues, not necessarily society. I live in an area very conducive to LGBTQ tolerance. Maybe that helps.

I wonder what people who are agender go through. I feel like they're the only people who might relate to bisexuals. Like I'm both. I'm neither. But the agender friend I have seems happy. They have a long term partner. I don't see confusion, just androgyny. Maybe what they go through just isn't visible.
I find bisexuality to be the most relatable orientation besides asexuality. Like, if I wasn't an asexual then I'd have to be a bisexual because I feel generally indifferent about people's sex. I feel like there would be pros and cons to either a straight or gay relationship. In some ways I think that if I absolutely HAD to have sex then I'd prefer to do so with a woman. Not having to worry about pregnancy would make it more convenient. I also think a woman would be more likely to view me as their equal, and also gentler/more empathetic to any concerns I have regarding things "down there" than a man could.

With the tomato thing, for me it was this really heavy, uneasy realization that things don't work the way I thought they did. All the stories I heard over the years, I thought they were the outliers, not me. And then when I flashback to my youth, I cringe hard at how "off" I was and how it must have come across to other people.

Gender is one of those things that I just choose not to care about for myself. I consider myself a female because I don't see a point in contesting it, gender is impossible to define so I don't try to, I just do whatever is easiest for me. In some ways I can relate to agender.
 

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I find bisexuality to be the most relatable orientation besides asexuality. Like, if I wasn't an asexual then I'd have to be a bisexual because I feel generally indifferent about people's sex. I feel like there would be pros and cons to either a straight or gay relationship. In some ways I think that if I absolutely HAD to have sex then I'd prefer to do so with a woman. Not having to worry about pregnancy would make it more convenient. I also think a woman would be more likely to view me as their equal, and also gentler/more empathetic to any concerns I have regarding things "down there" than a man could.

With the tomato thing, for me it was this really heavy, uneasy realization that things don't work the way I thought they did. All the stories I heard over the years, I thought they were the outliers, not me. And then when I flashback to my youth, I cringe hard at how "off" I was and how it must have come across to other people.

Gender is one of those things that I just choose not to care about for myself. I consider myself a female because I don't see a point in contesting it, gender is impossible to define so I don't try to, I just do whatever is easiest for me. In some ways I can relate to agender.
Ok cool interesting. Yeah I guess I didn't realize maybe for some part of my teens that completely straight women didn't see women as I did, because it wasn't graphically sexual when I was 13 or anything. Early teens was probably the only point where I didn't realize I was bisexual so may have had some kind of off impressions about things. I thought these sorts of romantic friendships were normal and I also thought women were just naturally easier to look and be around for all people, so. Largely due likely to things like Male Gaze in film and cinema. I didn't see the problem with obsessing over Laura Palmer.

I think with bisexuality the hardest thing is the level of potential sexual repression or choice. Like ok I've decided it's easier to be straight, so I'm going to force it to work. It's easier for straight women to meet more straight men, and to get general approval from society. It's less awkward, but in some ways there may actually be more pain involved due to gender roles or a trend towards men not wanting relationships in my generation, I am very tired of hook up culture.

So that element of choice is there for me because I am attracted to women and have even loved women before, I still masturbate to women, so I could technically choose to be a political lesbian. Like. I'm so done with men kind of a thing. Because I like women, I like pussy, I'm not pretending or forcing anything. BUT it could be harder to meet a woman who is bisexual or lesbian to have a relationship with, as a sheer numbers thing. It could also be more difficult socially for some reasons, but maybe not. I live in California now. When I had serious girlfriends before I lived in North Carolina. There are a lot of LGBTQ people in the Triangle area, but there's still a lot of conservatism, and I see SO many of my bisexual friends from my youth almost like hiding it now that they're older. One of my bisexual friends is in a committed lesbian relationship, and one of my pansexual trans woman friends has a woman as her primary partner, but on Facebook my other bisexual friends don't even acknowledge they like women publicly anymore. Like it never happened, it doesn't exist. Save for my first girlfriend saying I love you too in a PM maybe five years ago. I don't see platonic bisexual friends discussing anything about bisexuality or lesbians. Nothing about hot girls, or loving women. They're all still there, in NC. Facebook is full of liars anyway though. Like see, here's a false image of reality.

It's worse than Tinder. I went back there today, realized I didn't even want to look at men, went to women only, realized how much lower the available numbers are. Time to go back to the city, idk.
 

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I think with bisexuality the hardest thing is the level of potential sexual repression or choice. Like ok I've decided it's easier to be straight, so I'm going to force it to work. It's easier for straight women to meet more straight men, and to get general approval from society. It's less awkward, but in some ways there may actually be more pain involved due to gender roles or a trend towards men not wanting relationships in my generation, I am very tired of hook up culture.
Something I've struggled with for awhile now is this idea of repression. Its impossible for me to know if I'm a sexual person who is just sexually repressed or if I'm asexual. There's no way to truly prove it, not even to myself. People have argued it back and forth with me and so there will always be a little bit of room for doubt in my head, even if I'm fairly confident.

So I decided to just accept that I'll never have certainty on the matter, and that I will not force myself to do anything that makes me uncomfortable, and I'll just have to trust in my instincts to hopefully lead me down the best path.

I think that if dating men is something you feel you have to force yourself to do, then maybe its a sign to try other things instead.
 

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Something I've struggled with for awhile now is this idea of repression. Its impossible for me to know if I'm a sexual person who is just sexually repressed or if I'm asexual. There's no way to truly prove it, not even to myself. People have argued it back and forth with me and so there will always be a little bit of room for doubt in my head, even if I'm fairly confident.

So I decided to just accept that I'll never have certainty on the matter, and that I will not force myself to do anything that makes me uncomfortable, and I'll just have to trust in my instincts to hopefully lead me down the best path.

I think that if dating men is something you feel you have to force yourself to do, then maybe its a sign to try other things instead.
Yeah that's the conclusion I've come to. Like I've been repressing something and sublimating it elsewhere (which is where I am/was so I won't regret or wish to change the past). And now I'm not going to force myself to give this or that guy "a chance." Like I was sitting on Tinder just going left, left, left, no, not you, left, nope with all of the men. And I wondered is this normal. How long have I actually been here. Because the last two men I had interest in were a friend I wasn't attracted to at all for the first few months I knew him, and a demisexual that never resulted in anything other than friendship. Last summer I was alone by choice. Blah blah blah.

Yeah don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Even if you are repressed it might be for a reason. I had a good friend who experienced some abuse as a young girl who had no desire for that. She was romantic but not sexual. And its ok and valid to be who you are, where you are. Even when I complained about my demi friend, it's actually about emotional manipulation and confusion, not him being demi, and about a particular incident that was drama, it didn't necessarily have to do with him being demi per se. I actually would have felt disgusting had I pressured him for sex or touched him in a way that made him feel violated. I didn't even like feeling like I was waiting around for something more to happen after a few months. That's absolutely your right and choice as an individual.
 

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I can relate to the bisexuality and asexuality being similar enough to confuse, @crazitaco

I have been questioning asexuality myself, or, at the very least Demi sexuality. I don't see the point in identifying as ace since most of the community are sex repressed or repulsed and I'm not. I hear people say "not all ace" but I'll peek into ace spaces and think there's nothing I can gain here because I can't relate enough.

Point is I assumed I was straight as a kid because I never felt attracted to anyone and straight is default. Now I can fall in love with anyone, but love is a rare thing. My first romance was with the same sex so I swapped to bisexuality based on that alone (logically no attraction to the other sex meant I should have assumed gay at the time but whatever, it wasn't considered).

I've never been with a partner and found them sexy, more like I enjoy sex and doing it with someone else is a bonus and doing it with someone I love and trust is ideal. If I take asexuality as lack of attraction to others then maybe I am ace but I enjoy sexual acts and have a relatively high/average libido. It's all confusing to be honest. I don't think I'd walk around calling myself ace regardless because it'll give potential partners the wrong idea.

Anyway, it's made Tinder impossible. I started swiping everyone right because I have no way of understanding who I'd find attractive. Then I realised there's no motivation to pursue anyone I swiped.
 

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I'm gonna chime in cause for the longest while I identified as asexual - just full out ace, no interest in anyone whatsoever.

AND THEN for whatever reason I mentioned it to my gyn who was like "This could just be you, but since you have that and irregular menstruation, why don't we check your hormones just in case?"

And it turns out fellas that I had an actual BRAIN TUMOR making off hormones left and right and essentially chemically castrating me. I don't mean to imply being asexual is a disease when I say this, of course not, but in my case in particular it happened to be a symptom of something organic.

But the reason I bring this up is: once that was dealt with, I immediately made the flip from asexual to bisexual. So when y'all say "I think being bi is the closest thing to being ace", I definitely agree, because I never particularly minded the gender of potential partners.

So this is literally what happened: you gave an ace a libido and they turned out bisexual.
 

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I'm gonna chime in cause for the longest while I identified as asexual - just full out ace, no interest in anyone whatsoever.

AND THEN for whatever reason I mentioned it to my gyn who was like "This could just be you, but since you have that and irregular menstruation, why don't we check your hormones just in case?"

And it turns out fellas that I had an actual BRAIN TUMOR making off hormones left and right and essentially chemically castrating me. I don't mean to imply being asexual is a disease when I say this, of course not, but in my case in particular it happened to be a symptom of something organic.

But the reason I bring this up is: once that was dealt with, I immediately made the flip from asexual to bisexual. So when y'all say "I think being bi is the closest thing to being ace", I definitely agree, because I never particularly minded the gender of potential partners.

So this is literally what happened: you gave an ace a libido and they turned out bisexual.
Strong case to get regular check ups. Glad you seem to be okay now, right?

Thanks for sharing. I have for a while wondered if there's something amiss with my biology that could also effect where I am on the gender/sexuality spectrum... Part of me hopes I'm just being a bit of a hypochondria but then I haven't asked a professional to check.
 

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Strong case to get regular check ups. Glad you seem to be okay now, right?

Thanks for sharing. I have for a while wondered if there's something amiss with my biology that could also effect where I am on the gender/sexuality spectrum... Part of me hopes I'm just being a bit of a hypochondria but then I haven't asked a professional to check.
Yeah it was just a prolactinoma, those are pretty easy to treat. You take a pill once a week and they sorta shrink down and wither, no surgery required.

I think the biggest lesson I took for it is that the lack of libido didn't bother me, so for years I was like "oh well, whatever."

But then when my exams came back it was a disaster. Cholesterol was through the roof and I was pre-diabetic. I was on my way to having a heart attack at age 30, and all that silently going on with the only two symptoms being some skipped periods and a lack of desire to bang.

So yeah I would strongly recommend that anyone identifying as asexual get a full hormone profile. This is something delicate to talk about because there's this strong tendency to try to make diverging sexual orientations pathological. People used to say being gay was a disease. It's not fair to pass this tag to asexuality.

That much said, it's like babies: when a baby is born larger than most, it might be a sign that the mom has diabetes. Or it might just be a really big baby. Regardless, we see a big baby and go "hey, let's test the mom".

Likewise with the low libido: maybe it's just how you are. But it's so much safer to get it looked at just in case, cause hormones are like a domino: one thing breaks down and destroys everything else. And you could save yourself from freaking diabetes

god DAMN I love candy
 

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Yeah it was just a prolactinoma, those are pretty easy to treat. You take a pill once a week and they sorta shrink down and wither, no surgery required.

I think the biggest lesson I took for it is that the lack of libido didn't bother me, so for years I was like "oh well, whatever."

But then when my exams came back it was a disaster. Cholesterol was through the roof and I was pre-diabetic. I was on my way to having a heart attack at age 30, and all that silently going on with the only two symptoms being some skipped periods and a lack of desire to bang.

So yeah I would strongly recommend that anyone identifying as asexual get a full hormone profile. This is something delicate to talk about because there's this strong tendency to try to make diverging sexual orientations pathological. People used to say being gay was a disease. It's not fair to pass this tag to asexuality.

That much said, it's like babies: when a baby is born larger than most, it might be a sign that the mom has diabetes. Or it might just be a really big baby. Regardless, we see a big baby and go "hey, let's test the mom".

Likewise with the low libido: maybe it's just how you are. But it's so much safer to get it looked at just in case, cause hormones are like a domino: one thing breaks down and destroys everything else. And you could save yourself from freaking diabetes

god DAMN I love candy
I personally don't have a low libido, I just don't find other people turn me on.

But anyway, this reminds me of that one House episode that bothered me, unsure if you watched it. There was a patient who wasn't interested in sex at all and House responded with an argument of how is unnatural and not possible, that humans are sexual beings by nature. His colleagues were more of the stance of "asexuality exists, accept it" but at the end of the episode House diagnoses the man with some kind of hormone imbalance which proves his point. It was a little indelicate since it meant House won and therefore sent out the message that asexuality was unnatural or a condition. But your example is pretty similar to that, so in some ways it makes me feel mildly reassured they did some research, still irked that the writers didn't say both could be right.
 

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I've brought it up before but never really explored it.

My sexuality is a lot more complex than is depicted in movies and even that which I see normal couples engage in. I have had a big issue not relating though with "normal" guys my age throughout early development. However, I have a strong fetish side to me where I'm fully immersed in BDSM and have an active lifestyle now. But for years I didn't and had a mostly sexless life. I found it a chore with my ex and I didn't enjoy it at all.

During my teens, I never understood what "the guys" meant when they said "Hot chick turned them on". Like I didn't relate to this at all. Not till I fell in love and then when I first fell in love I was physically attracted to the person I fell in love with. But I still wasn't attracted to others (still am not in a sexual way).

I know they call it demisexuality but I don't want to put a label on it, because simultaneously I've fallen in love with men and I have never been physically turned on by them, so I can't exactly call myself bisexual either (but I do tend to say I'm bisexual since I experience romantic feelings for men).

Then whenever I've not been in love, I've straight out believed I'm asexual too because I have no sexual attraction to anyone and barely have any sexual needs of any kind. I have a fairly low libido.

Biromantic, demisexual ... Probably then. Not sure if this belongs in the LGBTQ community either, but I am curious to see if there are others with a similar kind of sexuality.
 

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I see that some people think there isn't much point to a thread like this, but I also see people say their sexuality is confusing. I think spaces like this are important for that reason. Sexuality is confusing for a lot of people and many of them feel out of place and isolated. I'd say that whatever you're feeling is completely normal even if you can't find someone who you can say "that's me." I think it's good for people to know they're not alone and what they're experiencing isn't out of the ordinary.

For me, my sexuality was pretty easy to figure out. When I was a kid, I thought you could only be straight or gay, and since I had crushes on boys, I thought I was straight. When I entered high school, I quickly realized I was attracted to girls and identified as bisexual. It wasn't hard for me, just a sudden realization I had when I was checking out a girl. Then I had a (short) relationship with a trans person and later a crush on another, which led me to pansexual. Nowadays I kind of feel like that label is a bit...idk weird, so I usually identify as bisexual. I'm actually still friends with both of those people on fb and one of them successfully transitioned and got married. :)

I care a lot about LGBT issues though I don't really feel the need to include myself within the group nor do I really identify with the group much myself (perhaps marrying "straight" has a lot to do with it). Many people need such a group to feel included and empowered and I think that's great. I had a lesbian friend in HS who felt that need and was pretty active in the "club" at school. I can definitely understand that need even if I don't feel it myself. I've still gotten into plenty of debates about different parts of it (the same old, same old, it's not unnatural or gross to like the same gender or be trans or anything else). Ive been told on several occasions that I'm basically straight (so I guess I should shut up? :rolleyes:), though I feel like generally things are pointing towards improvement socially and legally.

My sexuality isn't that important to me. It's not something I've made as an important aspect of my personality. It's just part of who I am. I get why others feel drastically different than I do about it and I don't really have a problem with it. But basically my main point is that I'm supportive in general because I think it's important to many people for them to figure themselves out. People should always have a sense of belonging and acceptance and I think that's the main point of this thread.

(Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.)
 

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I'm gonna chime in cause for the longest while I identified as asexual - just full out ace, no interest in anyone whatsoever.

AND THEN for whatever reason I mentioned it to my gyn who was like "This could just be you, but since you have that and irregular menstruation, why don't we check your hormones just in case?"

And it turns out fellas that I had an actual BRAIN TUMOR making off hormones left and right and essentially chemically castrating me. I don't mean to imply being asexual is a disease when I say this, of course not, but in my case in particular it happened to be a symptom of something organic.

But the reason I bring this up is: once that was dealt with, I immediately made the flip from asexual to bisexual. So when y'all say "I think being bi is the closest thing to being ace", I definitely agree, because I never particularly minded the gender of potential partners.

So this is literally what happened: you gave an ace a libido and they turned out bisexual.
I do think its a good idea to encourage asexuals to get checkups for that reason. For me though I don't lack a libido, (since I masturbate regularly) and my periods are normal. Though I still haven't gone to the doctor as an adult, I still need to do that :mellow:
 

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I do think its a good idea to encourage asexuals to get checkups for that reason. For me though I don't lack a libido, (since I masturbate regularly) and my periods are normal. Though I still haven't gone to the doctor as an adult, I still need to do that :mellow:
How do you see masturbation? As part of a sexual need, or just a bodily function that is as normal to engage in as eating etc. Because quite frankly that's what it's like for me. I feel hungry so I eat. I feel horny so I masturbate. There's really nothing more to it than that for me.

A BDSM scene is also much the same as amusement / entertainment. But of course a lot more involved and complex but that's really what it is if I'm being 100% honest here.

Sex as others seem to talk about it isn't something I've ever related to. Not quite ... I've thought that I did or could and now I realize that I just don't.
 

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How do you see masturbation? As part of a sexual need, or just a bodily function that is as normal to engage in as eating etc. Because quite frankly that's what it's like for me. I feel hungry so I eat. I feel horny so I masturbate. There's really nothing more to it than that for me.

A BDSM scene is also much the same as amusement / entertainment. But of course a lot more involved and complex but that's really what it is if I'm being 100% honest here.

Sex as others seem to talk about it isn't something I've ever related to. Not quite ... I've thought that I did or could and now I realize that I just don't.
I see it as a pleasant habit, I have no reason NOT to, so if the opportunity is there then why not? If by horny you mean "aroused" then normally I'm not already horny when I make the decision to masturbate.
 
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