Well, considering how important my relationship is to me at this point in my life, anyone who would have any chance of being my friend would hear some reference to that part of my life. And while my mate/fiancee's name is technically gender-neutral, if I felt I had to play the pronoun game with someone even initially, I would be unlikely to consider them as potential friend material.
(I also discovered in the writing of this comment and a little google search that the word fiance/fiancee is gendered! Two e's for female, one for male and sometimes neutral? I had no idea).
Relationships that aren't related to school or work: within the first few weeks. If you don't 'approve' of my sexuality there is no way in hell I will ever consider you my friend. I like to just get it over with.
I don't have a lot of friends, so . . . :laughing:
Honestly, I don't really talk to friends about it unless they're close, and it never comes up because I have a relationship that looks really straight and very socially-conforming. I'm not in a place right now where I'm super confident or comfortable talking to just anyone about the nature of my romantic life, so I'm currently in a place where I'm assumed to be "straight" which I find uncomfortable, but I'm also not currently comfortable talking openly about my romantic life.
I admit that if I wasn't in a relationship, I would find it easier to explain my sexuality to people.
It's not so much a matter of telling... spelling it out for them
but rather it becomes clear to most people pretty quickly.
It's a thoroughly integrated part of my identity, of my life... some of it lending back to the naivety of my coming of age that I didn't realize people would really have a problem with it. Which I'd add at that time... I rather thought being a nerd/geek was worse.
I'm really quite surprised when people don't know... even the few times of being accused of being str8 or faux gay, fashionably gay in queer groups. There's quite a bit of anti intellectualism in the gay community, sure there are intellectual, pseudo intellectual, factions... but so many in those crowds tend to be picket fence queers, don't rock the boat, don't be one of those gays... the blatant flaming stereotype that I am. 'course getting my flame on.. . usually screams freak to people more than gay.
so, hmm, I don't know... but usually friends don't become friends without knowing.
It's not like I have a rainbow shooting out of my arse while shouting carebear stare... but for an example, I don't usually use they, them, etc in place of he, him... etc. I'm not investing all that exhausting energy into being discrete or closeted.
'course that is probably forcing it in other people's faces... the same way most of the hetero inclined are doing it to everyone else.