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I'm having a bit of counseling, to try to deal with some issues around anxiety, drinking too much, one thing my counselor said was to try to take time to live in the present(feel the wind, smell the grass, etc...), not what's happening tomorrow, next week etc...

Ive found when I do this, my anxiety does tend to subside and I feel more content, but I believe trying to plan your life so things are in order is a pretty common INFJ trait?
 

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There is a difference in planning your future and living there.

Try fasting for 24h...nothing makes you live in the moment like hunger, you can feel every second and every other bullshit or any other physical or mental pain seems irrelevant.
 

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Ive found when I do this, my anxiety does tend to subside and I feel more content, but I believe trying to plan your life so things are in order is a pretty common INFJ trait?
Oh, yes, and this is the source of all my misery right now for sure. Usually, I only vacation in the present; my permanent residence is about 20-30 years in the future. However, it seems quicksand has swallowed it or some such. I'm a 258 tritype as well. Planning is my everything, but God won't let me plan a damn thing these days except dinner.

Anyway, I feel your pain. :sad:
 

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Ive found when I do this, my anxiety does tend to subside and I feel more content, but I believe trying to plan your life so things are in order is a pretty common INFJ trait?
Yes, this is very true of me!

I am unable to focus very long on the present no matter how hard I try. My opinion is a person can’t change the way their brain is wired (meditation, etc. will only give the mind a break).

To deal with anxiety in general, I have found I need to avoid falling into “analysis paralysis” and instead need to focus on getting things done, one thing at a time. (These are often chores I don’t want to do and have procrastinated on.)

To deal with social anxiety, it helps to analyze why I am feeling a certain way. Often I am not even aware of exactly why I am feeling angry, etc. (I bottle up my feelings and feel anxious and tense). Just being able to recognize and name the feeling(s) helps some.

Some people in the typology community say one should avoid overusing their tertiary function (Ti for the INFJ—they refer to this as a “Ni-Ti loop”) and that one should concentrate on developing their auxiliary function (Fe for the INFJ). I am an INFJ with strong Ti use and am not certain I totally agree with this.

I know this is a bit simplistic but hope it is of some help.
 

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My issue is that I tend to think 5 steps ahead of myself. It's a real struggle to concentrate on the task at hand because my brain is looking ahead. EX: Working on Christmas music for church thinking about Easter.

And my plans aren't so much five year plans as they are five decade big picture plans.

I find things like dancing or running or playing piano help bring me back to the moment. Anything positive that helps me shut off my brain and just kinda go with it.
 

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My issue is that I tend to think 5 steps ahead of myself. It's a real struggle to concentrate on the task at hand because my brain is looking ahead. EX: Working on Christmas music for church thinking about Easter.
I agree, even while I am working on a task, I am thinking way ahead about what else will need to be done or I will be thinking about and analyzing some abstract problem that comes to mind.
 

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Going through that currently.. I have issues in my relationship and instead of focusing on the relationship and the reality of it, I am trying to predict how it will develop in the future in order to make a decision now. :rolleyes:
 

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Jung Letters, vol.1:


How ought one to live?

Dear Frau V.,

Your questions are unanswerable because you want to know how one ought to live. One lives as one can. There is no single, definite way for the individual which is prescribed for him or would be the proper one. If that's what you want you had best join the Catholic Church, where they tell you what's what. Moreover this way fits in with the average way of mankind in general.

But if you want to go your individual way, it is the way you make for yourself, which is never prescribed, which you do not know in advance, and which simply comes into being of itself when you put one foot in front of the other. If you always do the next thing that needs to be done, you will go most safely and sure-footedly along the path prescribed by your unconscious. Then it is naturally no help at all to speculate about how you ought to live. And then you know, too, that you cannot know it, but quietly do the next and most necessary thing. So long as you think you don't yet know what this is, you still have too much money to spend in useless speculation. But if you do with conviction the next and most necessary thing, you are always doing something meaningful and intended by fate.
 

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I think this is a common trait for many INFJs, but maybe not all of us. I've always been a forward thinker to a fault, and have dealt with the varying levels of anxiety that come along with that. The good side, however, is I've never experienced even the slightest bout of depression like those who live in the rear view mirror. For me, the quickest and healthiest way to break the grip of anxiety is through an intense sport or activity that puts me in Se mode. The dopamine rush that follows improves my mood for several hours after.
 

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For me, the quickest and healthiest way to break the grip of anxiety is through an intense sport or activity that puts me in Se mode. The dopamine rush that follows improves my mood for several hours after.
Oh yeah, I am a football(soccer fanatic), Im still playing even though Im 48, I find that out on the field you are just focussed in that present moment, your mind doesn't have time to think about anything else, its my happy place, also the dopamine rush like you say is a huge mood enhancer for some time afterwards.
 

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I Find a lot of new-age, self - help "guru's", and even some psychologists, just put that on others for a number of reasons. As a strong thinker, and responsible parent, I will always be in the future. Telling me to not plan ahead is idiotic, and I place anyone that advises to so into the stupid basket.
I also struggle if someone's rambling to me about stuff, while I'm driving, and I'm planning dinners for the next week or two. Or something else, far far away.
Although, I do enjoy playing, and having fun with my kid. But I don't need to turn it into some kind of life guidance, gees.

But if you think your psychologist is helping you through some stuff, and you feel it's working, then yes, do it, cos mental health is important <3
 
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