[gdavge2003]

So I'm moving into a suite next semester with 3 other guys. Two of them are ISFJs and one's a ISTP. Any good tips on how to deal with fellow ISFJs when you guys will be sharing the same bedroom, workroom, bathroom, living room, EVERYTHING for the next 2 semesters?

My current roommate in the college dorms is an ENFP studying political science, and it has been a crazy but fun experience! The guy is super outgoing, messy (his half of the room is covered w/ clothes right at the moment, haha), loves to talk about random stuff (we discuss different subjects hours on end sometimes), and gets crazy, theoretical ideas all the time, which I enjoy expanding upon just to see where they go. We go to the gym and eat together all the time and do a lot of outdoor activities.

Dorms are expensive, and I'm super poor so... I'm moving out :sad:. I feel like having a sudden change from living with an ENFP to living w/ ISFJs is going to be completely different. What do you guys think some of the drastic changes will be, and what I should watch out for?

I hope I won't be forced to watch dramas as "bonding" events.. *shudder*

 

[Lady K]

I don't know why everyone thinks ISFJs are so dramatic. Just because we're Fe doesn't mean we always like to stir up emotions and drama. I've lived with other girls before, and I live with a large amount of my family right now. I don't think that living with me is all that hard. I generally keep to myself. When I'm in the living room, I prefer things to be sort of calm. If my family is really loud, or watching TV really loud, it starts to irritate me. Even then, I'm generally non-confrontational, I just leave.

I tend to be neat in the common areas of my house. I pick up after myself, clean up after my dog, and clean up after my kid. If I make food, I wash my dishes, put everything away. I get irritated if I buy food or snacks and other people eat them, but that's kind of common sense and respect and easy to deal with. In terms of bathroom space.. please wash out the sink when you're done using it, I hate dried toothpaste. Cap the toothpaste. Don't piss on the toilet seat. If you plug it up, get a plunger and force your own feces down the drain, don't make me do it. Make sure you draw the shower curtain when you're finished taking a shower - leaving it bunched up allows for mold growth. Essentially - I clean up after myself, please clean up after yourself. I think the biggest part about living with an ISFJ is the J aspect. We like things in order, or at least I do.

 

[HandiAce]

One of my roommates is also an ISFJ. He appears as an extravert which can happen. One of the things both of us have in common is that we are on the same page in terms of senses, especially when it comes to recognizing certain songs or lines to a movie. I'm damn awesome at recognizing the melody or sound to a song and he's damn awesome at remembering lines to a movie of some sort. So when I say something that typically would sound bizarre to another person, he will instantly pick up where what I said came from. I do the same to him. We got along well, even though we both thought that the other was weird.

 

[Lady K]

He appears as an extravert which can happen.

I consider myself an ambivert really, so I know this can happen. I identify closer (so far and for now) with my introverted side because I enjoy relaxing alone and doing things by myself. However, because some people are ambiverts, including ISFJs, it could mean that your roomies might like doing special things with you. I like making dinner and having everyone around sometimes. It feels warm and cozy to me. I'm also a fan of going out - usually some place calm like a coffeeshop or a quiet place to eat. It's been a few years since I was into the bar scene, but I'm not above going out and getting down with the best of the Es. That could be something that you may or may not like, depending on how Introverted you are, or vice versa.

 

[gdavge2003]

Thanks Lady K for the great advice
Sounds like I should start a cleaning schedule.. argh. Here in the dorms, the janitors just clean the bathrooms for us, guess that luxury is going to slip away away away :sad:

I'm basically the main cleaner of my current room right now; my roommate never takes out the trash, can't seem to separate trash from recyclable items, and isn't bothered by the dirty floor. So I basically take out the trash and vacuum. Which isn't a big deal. Because I eat the snacks he buys from Trader Joe's :crazy: Mmmm orange-flavored cranberries

I think everyone thinks we ISFJs are dramatic because, just based on experience, every personality test I took said ISFJs are dramatic. :mellow: I have to admit, although I won't sob at a Korean drama (yes yes, I've watched one.. well, two before), I get sentimental when reading/watching ... sentimental scenes. Like when the father embraces his child at the conclusion of the movie because of events in the epic plot, and then the credits roll roud:

 

[Lady K]

Yeah, yeah. *sigh*

Sentimental is different from dramatic though!

 

[krwheel]

I think everyone thinks we ISFJs are dramatic because, just based on experience, every personality test I took said ISFJs are dramatic. :mellow: I have to admit, although I won't sob at a Korean drama (yes yes, I've watched one.. well, two before), I get sentimental when reading/watching ... sentimental scenes. Like when the father embraces his child at the conclusion of the movie because of events in the epic plot, and then the credits roll roud:

You're not talking about "Old Boy" are you, because that movie was just amazing, but certainly not a sentimental moment in that movie haha

 

[Cookie Monster]

Wow, I would have never thought of ISFJs as "dramatic."

I think as long as you are neat and quiet, you should be OK. Of course, being neat and quiet are desirable for any type, but I think that being messy or loud would irritate an ISFJ more it might irritate other types.

 

[HandiAce]

To start, both me and my ISFJ roommate are usually pretty loud... when we talk. I think it's healthy for us to be humming things, smiling about certain thoughts and talking to ourselfs. My roommate does it a LOT. When I recognize something he's thinking about, it excites him that I recognize it too.

Having a judging preference does not mean that you are neat. That's more of a learned thing if you ask me. My parents wanted to pass that on to me which I accepted... partially. My roommate's room is a mess, just like the roommate I had last year who was an INTJ :dry:I geuss there's a point where I give up with seeing all this clutter on my floor and deal with it, even if it was caused by another person.

...Like when the father embraces his child at the conclusion of the movie because of events in the epic plot, and then the credits roll roud:

You know, that seems to be one of the few things that brings me to tears in a movie.

 

[Lady K]

Haha. I guess I should have been more clear when I talked about neatness. In my home, I like everything to have it's place... even if it seems like a weird place to other people. For example - my room is pretty messy. But it's organized in my mind because I know where everything is. What I actually said was:

I think the biggest part about living with an ISFJ is the J aspect. We like things in order, or at least I do.

Sometimes my sense of order is neatness, but sometimes it's just about things having a proper place. I hate when I go into the living room and someone has put the remote on the couch when it belongs on the table. It's really dumb stuff like that. If things are in the wrong place, the whole place feels wrong to me, and I can start to feel like I'm being swallowed up.

 

[Cookie Monster]

Having a judging preference does not mean that you are neat. That's more of a learned thing if you ask me. My parents wanted to pass that on to me which I accepted... partially. My roommate's room is a mess, just like the roommate I had last year who was an INTJ :dry:I geuss there's a point where I give up with seeing all this clutter on my floor and deal with it, even if it was caused by another person.

So true. I am a strong J, and I have had to learn to be neat. My roommate does not tolerate messiness very well, so I have had to try hard, but she is understanding. I also have 2 kitties, who shed, so I have to vacuum a lot. I really do like living in a neat, uncluttered space, but I have a really bad habit to accumulate it (I was REALLY bad in college)...but I don't want to turn into those hoarders they have on that new TLC show.

In my home, I like everything to have it's place... even if it seems like a weird place to other people. For example - my room is pretty messy. But it's organized in my mind because I know where everything is...
Sometimes my sense of order is neatness, but sometimes it's just about things having a proper place.

I am actually like that too. I always quote Hamlet and say "There is method to my madness!"