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Intuition is a power that we INFJ's are born with and it can be our saviour, as well as our corrupter in relationships. Whenever I've spoken to people with any kind of self-proclaimed psychic / face reading capabilities, the one thing that I have heard about myself is that I'm a deep, dramatic individual prone to extremist behaviour - or someone who stands so far apart from reality that it makes my attitudes, beliefs and expressions more than the 'normal'.

But what they don't realize is that it is not some sort of unearthly, undefinable God gift ... but rather a direct product of the fact that I am a member of the most exclusive personality type. I can sometimes look at a couple on a motorcycle and write down their life story in a matter of minutes with an extremely close accuracy.

I have this uncanny ability to know how something is going to end up before it even starts. I can tell who is lying and who is telling the truth. I can tell what another person is feeling even if they are claiming the otherwise. I was with a woman for 10 years and I knew that she never truly loved me ...

Now the problem is not the intuition itself. The problem is my actions after the intuition. Being a giving and generous person as an INFJ .. and having a strong intuition causes me to predict a negative outcome for somebody, but then be handicapped to truly prevent it despite giving repeated warnings and telling everybody to be cautious - simply because my giving nature forces me to let people have their own way. And sometimes, I've even noticed that I have purposefully allowed someone to self-destruct so that I could allow my protector side to take over and present myself when needed (very negative, I know).

I have seen / allowed people to self-destruct (including my wife and marriage) despite knowing that this is how it was going to end up. I saw my brother's suicide attempt coming. Yet I was powerless to stop it because those with the actual ability never listened to me. I saw a child in my wife's family heading down the path of destruction and I saw it 3 years before it happened. I gave them repeated warnings but they did not listen to me - but I did not force myself or them to do anything about it.

Sadly, I have no INFJ in my life to do the same for me. There have been times when I have deserved and wanted protection, but I have not gotten it. Perhaps I have a feeling that my mother is also an INFJ but I never asked her to test herself. She has similar powers of intuition - as she sees the dread just as clearly as I. I plan to ask her to take the test too and discover - perhaps we can build ourselves together. She's also a lady who has crashed and burned at the hands of others all her life.

What do you people normally do when you have dreadful intuitions? What do you think is the best course of action when you can see something going wrong - but feel powerless to stop it? Would really appreciate some support in this regard.

Thanks for reading :)
 

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As I read what you wrote I was thinking all the while "exactly". I have so many times in which I just knew outcomes and could do nothing. I have learned over the years that sometimes no matter what I my be sensing people are simply not ready to hear it until after. So many times others will start to notice things six months after I was already picking up on it. But if I say something before they are sensing as well it is typically not taken well or even noticed by them at that point. So I totally get what you were saying about that. As far as not having others in my life to help me pick up on thing for myself like you were saying . Wow that would be nice. I was actually just telling a friend recently that I am sick sometimes of being the one who is perceived as the "strong" one who gets things. Sometimes I want to be the one getting that not always just giving that. I say all of this in hopes to normalize and give you the support you were requesting in this thread. I get it. I feel the things you wrote about often. Thanks for posting.
 
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I'm sure you've also faced the same situation where you're going through the biggest crisis of your life .. and feel like you can't move on and that's it ... when you get a call from a friend or relative in need .. and you can't stop thinking about them and trying to get them through it .. putting your own needs on the backburner. I know I'm assuming .. but I'm learning that it's just who we are. With my wife it was the same. I would come home depressed and tired from work needing to be looked after emotionally and greeted by a wife who would be more depressed than I ...and I would do anything in my power to make her happy. And I didn't even fault her for that.
 

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What do you people normally do when you have dreadful intuitions? What do you think is the best course of action when you can see something going wrong - but feel powerless to stop it? Would really appreciate some support in this regard.
people think of dreadful things all the time. I find faith in the power of the people who trust me. Even though I often am mistaken in the moment and feel confused and conflicted at times when I retreat and process out all of my experiences I find I can see my visions fortify. Honestly, they fortify into a sort of pointless thing for me though. a byproduct to what I truly innately desire. A life of love and joy and just all encompassing freedom for the moment.

oh and I know it might sound strange, but after some contemplation I think I understand now that I somewhat enjoy feeling powerless. It's a nice break from all that responsibility and future commitment stuff I deal with, I guess I have been dealing with powerless for a while now and am starting to appreciate it for what it is, an indescribable and powerful emotion branching from fear and slipping into integration, with a little spice of slaty surprise around every bend of this emotional gravitationless river.
 

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I totally get what you are describing. It can be a blessing and a curse. You need to remember, though, that boundaries are critical to navigating life. A lot of people simply don't want to know what you 'know'. Or perhaps they just aren't ready to hear it.
 

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Great thread Jawz! Made me wonder more about intuition and how people would react to the information your intuition gives. Sometimes people doesn't even believe that someone is able to use intuition this much and predict how the result would be, claiming that it just doesn't match with their experiences/perceptions (or doesn't even believe such thing even exists, that everything is so black & white). Maybe it's just that people (hmm, I might be generalizing too much, please forgive me :D) thinks that everyone else has the same type of perception that they do, so "intuition" simply would go beyond their understanding...

When I met my ex in Paris I had an intuition that the whole relatioship and the trip is so much like a dream that it'd eventually end, and couple of weeks after the trip she met a new guy, I still got the intuition, but I didn't do anything, kinda wasn't trusting my intuitions enough back then. The day she left me, I kinda knew that this is the day she leaves me. Signs were so clear...

EDIT: just forgot, Jawz, I wish luck for you future! :happy:
 

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When I have negative intuitive insights, I just let it be, as I have learned it doesn't help to give anyone a heads up. They just ignore you, or tell you you don't know what you're talking about.

So I just learned to say, fuck it. I tell people things, yes, but I don't go out of my way to tell someone what's going to happen, I just try to push or influence the outcome.

Influencing it can help, to some degree. Such as knowing what will occur because of something and try to mediate the situation, but only depending on what the situation is.
 

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Sometimes, all that can be done is to let things happen.
Even though i knew i could stop it, i have a choice. Either i let it happen or hurt myself by stopping it.
I've hurt myself from stopping things many times before. In the end of the day, no one was there to care for me when it was my time of trouble. Hence, to just allow things to go with the flow and let it be.
It's hard, to just allow it to happen especially when you know you can stop it. Yet time and time again, i see how i shouldn't had interfered with 'natures course'.
 

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I understand this and can relate up to a point, but I don't think I've ever felt that I couldn't or wouldn't do anything to effect the outcome, if I was personally involved. I always seem to try (and sometimes experience intense frustration, but nevertheless...). On the other hand, I can often see what will happen to others (especially in relationship situations) and when I'm not involved but merely an observer, than there really is little to nothing that can be done except to watch, which can create some very surreal observations.

Unlike @CeresZal in the post above, I have rarely felt that I should just let nature take it's course, even in retrospect, but that does not mean things turn out wonderfully either. I just try to live up to my own principles and then let the chips fall where they may.
 
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Exactly. I've had SEVERAL friends who I've known that they were in a bad relationship, but they would fail to listen to me. When their bad relationships do end, I like to think that I did cause it to be shorter than it would have been. Same thing even goes for situations where a friend or relative is freaking out about a situation but I know there's nothing to bother worrying about.

I still think that catching people in lies is the one thing that drives me crazy. Have a good example from last night -- went out with some friends. Two of my friends had known and gone to school with this one guy that was out as well. This guy they knew is a teacher who happened to work at a school that one of my college friends just got hired at last year. My one friend tells me "Yeah he was teaching at Greenview (name change) but is now teaching at Monroe (name change)". I had a few drinks so I was a bit more outspoken than I normally am, so I got defensive and said "He's not teaching at Monroe. He just got hired there because the position was open a few months ago and I was told to apply." They give me this look of disbelief, so I then added "The teacher that is currently hired there has been there for 20 years and is retiring this year, so I clearly know its not him." At that point, I was getting this look from both of them that intuitively told me that they were thinking: "Why are you being so defensive? Why can't you just trust his word?" Then I just dropped the whole topic and we just went on to something else.

So aggravating. I even intuitively knew that the reason he was lying was because he didn't want to admit to his friends and the public that he was told to resign from his last job and is not working right now. I caught him telling my friends about why he was told to resign and I even intuitively felt skeptical about all those words as well because I knew there was more to the story -- likely it was because of his own irresponsibility... and now rather than admit it and look to it as a life lesson, he chose to lie and cover it up and claim he did no wrong.

Anymore for stuff like that.. even though it REALLY bothers me to catch people lying, I just let people believe what they wish. I guess its their choice if they want to be gullible. Its amazed me in the past even how often my ENFP friend would believe people's words when I knew they were lying through their teeth. Ne must not pick up on that sort of thing as readily as Ni.
I have noticed that ENFPs and ENTPs will accept my insights quicker and respect them sooner than other types though. My one ENFP friend has repetitively told me years later after I've told her my insights how "I was so right about ____"



Ultimately, the only person that can truly benefit from your intuition is you. People don't like to believe your insights because they can't see it the way you do -- even if you have a collection of correct insights in the past. You can drop them hints and try to indirectly shape them in a way that you believe will benefit them but you can't do it for them. We can be very self-sacrificing, but the fortunate thing for us is that we can manage to be because we intuitively know that everything will be okay in the end.
 
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I guess in some ways I disagree with you.

I just feel like I know a little bit about you now girl candence. you personally.

a lot of people here are still seeking knowledge and I feel like you have a lot of things already understood, you honestly seem different to me than most INFJ's and to be honest your blunt assertions of type really freaked me out.
however, I do like you.

and I appreciate it. especially now as I am going to a therapist who I also believe is an INFJ like you, a real intensive intuition. intensive because it is directed towards people. very accurately.
It would be such a shame for you to dwell within yourself and not care about other people, cause even though (to me) you were very direct, that also became very helpful down the line and I am sure other stuff you have mentioned to me will as well.

as far as my type goes. I think I am an INF but am still unsure about the J aspect. so I guess INFP, and I know I kill everyone on here by changing my type all the time, but thats how my brain works it manipulates ideas to serve my inner world. I am very inner world driven

I couldn't even read your story without skipping to your conclusions, which you have to admit are the juiciest parts of your posts. :)

Some things that jump out at me about you...

Inner world that unlike the constant malleability of mine, makes direct knowing claims.
A unique way of understanding people through the outer world,
you do the same thing my dad does with your understand though... which bugs people like me.
you don't share it. and I guess it would be cool if other INFJ's shared more as well. I know I am prone not to, or have been recently.

but I also know it must be hard, cause when my dad does share something I can often bite his head off about it. how can one person be so right about things... it will never make sense to the rest of us. thats a sure thing.
I would keep bringing these things up though, tell your friends that your right. a little persistence will go a long way here. you need to make your understandings known, well you are actually, I guess I am just trying to say I think it will pay off in the long run, you will probably have those close friends who really just get you, maybe vaguely but at least there will be some faith and belief.

unfortunately your an introvert so you can't start a congregation or anything, but man, the people you can help... just the people you will know, that you know, and the people who will listen to you.... :) makes me feel all gooey inside just thinking about it.
 

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I guess in some ways I disagree with you.

I just feel like I know a little bit about you now girl candence. you personally.

a lot of people here are still seeking knowledge and I feel like you have a lot of things already understood, you honestly seem different to me than most INFJ's and to be honest your blunt assertions of type really freaked me out.
however, I do like you.

and I appreciate it. especially now as I am going to a therapist who I also believe is an INFJ like you, a real intensive intuition. intensive because it is directed towards people. very accurately.
It would be such a shame for you to dwell within yourself and not care about other people, cause even though (to me) you were very direct, that also became very helpful down the line and I am sure other stuff you have mentioned to me will as well.

as far as my type goes. I think I am an INF but am still unsure about the J aspect. so I guess INFP, and I know I kill everyone on here by changing my type all the time, but thats how my brain works it manipulates ideas to serve my inner world. I am very inner world driven

I couldn't even read your story without skipping to your conclusions, which you have to admit are the juiciest parts of your posts. :)

Some things that jump out at me about you...

Inner world that unlike the constant malleability of mine, makes direct knowing claims.
A unique way of understanding people through the outer world,
you do the same thing my dad does with your understand though... which bugs people like me.
you don't share it. and I guess it would be cool if other INFJ's shared more as well. I know I am prone not to, or have been recently.

but I also know it must be hard, cause when my dad does share something I can often bite his head off about it. how can one person be so right about things... it will never make sense to the rest of us. thats a sure thing.
I would keep bringing these things up though, tell your friends that your right. a little persistence will go a long way here. you need to make your understandings known, well you are actually, I guess I am just trying to say I think it will pay off in the long run, you will probably have those close friends who really just get you, maybe vaguely but at least there will be some faith and belief.

unfortunately your an introvert so you can't start a congregation or anything, but man, the people you can help... just the people you will know, that you know, and the people who will listen to you.... :) makes me feel all gooey inside just thinking about it.
See, this is why I've always felt an Ne vibe from you. :wink:


With experience, I've just learned that its difficult to get people to trust my insights from a personal life standpoint -- with friends, family, ex-boyfriends. My dad is probably the most accepting because he has a pretty good intuition too (never have figured out his type though). In my personal life, friends all seem to look to me as if I should just be an equal and I'm supposed to be right just as many times as they are (or I feel that way anyway) so they take it with a grain of salt.

Ever since I started teaching luckily I've been figuring out how to use this skillfully. Fortunately when you're a teacher, the teenage students are more readily going to look up to you -- they SHOULD be able to look up to you. I've noticed that when I drop in insightful lines about where I feel they're heading in life and such, its a quick way to gain a lot of respect. Of course, I'm still trying to completely master this though... particularly the troubled kids with no motivation to succeed that always cause disruptions and hardly respect anyone.
I guess I'll be figuring that out come August... once I figure out where I'll be.

In some way, I feel like it wasn't until I was placed in this type of job where I truly realized that the concepts and ideas that are so simple for me to understand, many others can't comprehend... unless you give them the boost.

Perhaps over time with friends, family, and, perhaps, colleagues I'll figure out a skillful way to help them see more of what I see... but that's going to take time and experience.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I'm just really, really new to exploring my personality and to finally discover that I'm not alone ... in fact, I recently made my mum do the test and she's also an INFJ (which explains our close relationship). But more than half the time I'm going "omg, this is exactly what I fell .. omg .. this is how i've done things in my life ..." This forum is adding to my escapism from reality .. because after all, even though all of you are real individuals, I've never seen any of you, or spoken to any of you either ... hence the para-sociality of it all makes this place an almost un-earthly experience for me. But please don't take that negatively, I came here on my own .. and staying here means that I love it here. Please don't take my words in a wrong way :(

I'm sorry for rambling. I recently went to a therapist ... and i could tell that the poor chap is totally flabbergasted by my personality and that a)either he's a complete hack or b) he thinks i'm so much of a nut-case that he couldn't treat me. I was never expecting a pysch to give me the "option" of coming for therapy ... or deciding not to. I thought a doctor would tell you that you either need it or not ... and if so, then why. Not something as silly as "come in if you want to" ... what ?!

My problem was not that this guy didn't want to help me. But my intuition had told me from the moment I stepped into the room that this guy could not help me. Now what really bakes my noodle is .. again coming back to my original post ... was it my intuition that led to the outcome, or the outcome would have been the same regardless of the intuition ?? Hence the difficulty with living with the power of intuition.

Oh .. and by the way ... i really could see he was being extremely uncomfortable with who he was dealing with when I told him that "My depression and suicidal thoughts are my only friends ... if you do anything to take them away then I'll be completely alone in the world" ... it's fun to toy with psychiatrists sometimes.

(Day 10 of divorce - Spent mostly with suicidal thoughts ... making peace with others ... saying goodbyes) ...
 

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I'm just really, really new to exploring my personality and to finally discover that I'm not alone ... in fact, I recently made my mum do the test and she's also an INFJ (which explains our close relationship). But more than half the time I'm going "omg, this is exactly what I fell .. omg .. this is how i've done things in my life ..." This forum is adding to my escapism from reality .. because after all, even though all of you are real individuals, I've never seen any of you, or spoken to any of you either ... hence the para-sociality of it all makes this place an almost un-earthly experience for me. But please don't take that negatively, I came here on my own .. and staying here means that I love it here. Please don't take my words in a wrong way :(

I'm sorry for rambling. I recently went to a therapist ... and i could tell that the poor chap is totally flabbergasted by my personality and that a)either he's a complete hack or b) he thinks i'm so much of a nut-case that he couldn't treat me. I was never expecting a pysch to give me the "option" of coming for therapy ... or deciding not to. I thought a doctor would tell you that you either need it or not ... and if so, then why. Not something as silly as "come in if you want to" ... what ?!

My problem was not that this guy didn't want to help me. But my intuition had told me from the moment I stepped into the room that this guy could not help me. Now what really bakes my noodle is .. again coming back to my original post ... was it my intuition that led to the outcome, or the outcome would have been the same regardless of the intuition ?? Hence the difficulty with living with the power of intuition.

Oh .. and by the way ... i really could see he was being extremely uncomfortable with who he was dealing with when I told him that "My depression and suicidal thoughts are my only friends ... if you do anything to take them away then I'll be completely alone in the world" ... it's fun to toy with psychiatrists sometimes.

(Day 10 of divorce - Spent mostly with suicidal thoughts ... making peace with others ... saying goodbyes) ...
I relate to much of this except the part about the depression and suicidal thoughts being my only friends.
get some help you sick fucker. jk jk.

sorry to be so incorrigible.
I also relate to that part you wrote about difficulty living with intuition. I feel that all the time. all the time.

honestly see another therapist. I have gone through about 4-5 seeing 2 regularly. All of them pretty much failed at what therapists are truly supposed to do, or what I expect them to do?
anyway.
after hitting some dead ends with 2 that I really liked I have moved on to a new therapist who i am currently seeing. hopefully I can actually figure some things out with this guy. I really have no faith in general therapy... just my experiences of it so far :/

also. to people taking your words in a wrong or right way... we can all do that. I mean... typically when you get a whole bunch of introverts together with their own systems of organization and whatnot you get a whole bunch of perspectives... then on top of that tying to relate, it's a whole shitfuck of expression that can be extremely difficult to sift through.
I typically don't even bother... I just guess my way through, flow with my feelings and read what I read, then I respond. I wish I could say I put conscious thought into my writings but I don't, I don't really feel I work that hard in self-expression. It feels really good to get it out there. maybe thats a Ne thing. lol.

I mainly just feel a lot of longing, and maybe slight frustration. other than that I am okay... I know the eventuality of my path. I am just tired of being in that zone of eventuality. honestly the only thing actaulizing my creativity has done for me is just givin me a tangible expression that I can reflect on and rediscover a sense of inner peace through.

my only fear is that what brings me inner peace doesn't bring inner peace to others and thats when I stop, think, get confused, perplexed and go into that rabbit hole that seems to be more readily and easily accessible every day.
With no way of controlling it and no way of organizing myself I am put into this strange dimension that corresponds with reality in a perfect way, a perfect nightmarish hell that I cannot escape from unless I am around people who somehow abolish it.

and recently they seem nowhere to be found.
 

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I'm just really, really new to exploring my personality and to finally discover that I'm not alone ... in fact, I recently made my mum do the test and she's also an INFJ (which explains our close relationship). But more than half the time I'm going "omg, this is exactly what I fell .. omg .. this is how i've done things in my life ..." This forum is adding to my escapism from reality .. because after all, even though all of you are real individuals, I've never seen any of you, or spoken to any of you either ... hence the para-sociality of it all makes this place an almost un-earthly experience for me. But please don't take that negatively, I came here on my own .. and staying here means that I love it here. Please don't take my words in a wrong way :(

I'm sorry for rambling. I recently went to a therapist ... and i could tell that the poor chap is totally flabbergasted by my personality and that a)either he's a complete hack or b) he thinks i'm so much of a nut-case that he couldn't treat me. I was never expecting a pysch to give me the "option" of coming for therapy ... or deciding not to. I thought a doctor would tell you that you either need it or not ... and if so, then why. Not something as silly as "come in if you want to" ... what ?!

My problem was not that this guy didn't want to help me. But my intuition had told me from the moment I stepped into the room that this guy could not help me. Now what really bakes my noodle is .. again coming back to my original post ... was it my intuition that led to the outcome, or the outcome would have been the same regardless of the intuition ?? Hence the difficulty with living with the power of intuition.

Oh .. and by the way ... i really could see he was being extremely uncomfortable with who he was dealing with when I told him that "My depression and suicidal thoughts are my only friends ... if you do anything to take them away then I'll be completely alone in the world" ... it's fun to toy with psychiatrists sometimes.

(Day 10 of divorce - Spent mostly with suicidal thoughts ... making peace with others ... saying goodbyes) ...
Yeah I would definitely suggest trying another therapist because the personality of the therapist matters a lot in whether they can help you.

Luckily, the first time I ever went to see a psychologist when I was 19, she was very insightful. She was an introvert herself and definitely had some N going on... had to be either INFP or INFJ. Kind of leaning towards INFP though because of her eccentric taste in the decorations/fashion and the fact that she was always flabbergasted when she'd ask me questions that would challenge me to give my interpretations based on intuitive reasoning.

During college when I was dealing with bad situations with ex-boyfriends and friends (my life at college was really a mess whenever I was dating anybody I swear... quite horrible and makes me kind of wish I didn't even bother) I had gone to the campus counseling center several times. I think I went to about 5 different counselors there and they were totally worthless. Rather than eventually get me to feel content and understood I'd just get more frustrated because I knew they didn't understand me either.

So... don't settle or feel like you have to stick with just the one therapist. Try multiple -- even if one may not be conveniently close because its better to find a good one that can truly help you than to waste time with one that doesn't help.
 

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Intuition is a power that we INFJ's are born with and it can be our saviour, as well as our corrupter in relationships. Whenever I've spoken to people with any kind of self-proclaimed psychic / face reading capabilities, the one thing that I have heard about myself is that I'm a deep, dramatic individual prone to extremist behaviour - or someone who stands so far apart from reality that it makes my attitudes, beliefs and expressions more than the 'normal'.

But what they don't realize is that it is not some sort of unearthly, undefinable God gift ... but rather a direct product of the fact that I am a member of the most exclusive personality type. I can sometimes look at a couple on a motorcycle and write down their life story in a matter of minutes with an extremely close accuracy.

I have this uncanny ability to know how something is going to end up before it even starts. I can tell who is lying and who is telling the truth. I can tell what another person is feeling even if they are claiming the otherwise. I was with a woman for 10 years and I knew that she never truly loved me ...

What do you people normally do when you have dreadful intuitions? What do you think is the best course of action when you can see something going wrong - but feel powerless to stop it? Would really appreciate some support in this regard.

Thanks for reading :)
Wow... Never lurked in this section of the boards before but as someone who has absolutely NO intuition at all, I can't even begin to grasp what this must be like.
 

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Wow... Never lurked in this section of the boards before but as someone who has absolutely NO intuition at all, I can't even begin to grasp what this must be like.
I must thank you for not rushing in here and just judging us and calling us all crazy, or some bull like that. And thanks for dropping by! lol
 

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I relate to much of this except the part about the depression and suicidal thoughts being my only friends.
get some help you sick fucker. jk jk.

sorry to be so incorrigible.
I also relate to that part you wrote about difficulty living with intuition. I feel that all the time. all the time.

honestly see another therapist. I have gone through about 4-5 seeing 2 regularly. All of them pretty much failed at what therapists are truly supposed to do, or what I expect them to do?
anyway.
after hitting some dead ends with 2 that I really liked I have moved on to a new therapist who i am currently seeing. hopefully I can actually figure some things out with this guy. I really have no faith in general therapy... just my experiences of it so far :/

also. to people taking your words in a wrong or right way... we can all do that. I mean... typically when you get a whole bunch of introverts together with their own systems of organization and whatnot you get a whole bunch of perspectives... then on top of that tying to relate, it's a whole shitfuck of expression that can be extremely difficult to sift through.
I typically don't even bother... I just guess my way through, flow with my feelings and read what I read, then I respond. I wish I could say I put conscious thought into my writings but I don't, I don't really feel I work that hard in self-expression. It feels really good to get it out there. maybe thats a Ne thing. lol.

I mainly just feel a lot of longing, and maybe slight frustration. other than that I am okay... I know the eventuality of my path. I am just tired of being in that zone of eventuality. honestly the only thing actaulizing my creativity has done for me is just givin me a tangible expression that I can reflect on and rediscover a sense of inner peace through.

my only fear is that what brings me inner peace doesn't bring inner peace to others and thats when I stop, think, get confused, perplexed and go into that rabbit hole that seems to be more readily and easily accessible every day.
With no way of controlling it and no way of organizing myself I am put into this strange dimension that corresponds with reality in a perfect way, a perfect nightmarish hell that I cannot escape from unless I am around people who somehow abolish it.

and recently they seem nowhere to be found.
It's quite alright. I received the Divorce papers today, finally. And at the moment I did feel the loss because she has written that our "relationship was not cordial" ... when in fact I have done nothing but give, and give for 10 years. Oh well ... It will be a long time before I can trust another woman again. (not that this will turn me into a woman-hater - I'm much too intelligent for that).

My relationships have all crashed and burned partly because of my inability to keep track of and assert my own needs. I have that sense of longing too .. and now that longing is slowly turning into attention seeking (also not healthy). Riddle-like Facebook posts about my relationship with my suicide .. carefully crafted in such a way that only those intelligent enough, or close enough will understand. Blood and gore as my avatars. Unhealthy dreams about reconciliation with my ex-wife.

And yes, I too plan to heed to your advice of seeking new therapists. But unfortunately, there aren't that many in my part of the world (though I have written myself as Canada-based, I'm actually in a third world country).

I appreciate your first line. In fact thank you for it. This group - getting to know people like myself -- is in itself very therapeutic. Just something as simple as "you have received thanks for your posts" ... amazing - warm fuzzy feeling. But at the same time, I have this nagging feeling that it is more symptomatic therapy rather than a cure. For that I have to go elsewhere ... get my life sorted - start going back to work - and continuing to fight the constant feelings of meaningless and failure.
 

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Well, to me it's not really complicated. Maybe because I worked it out long ago...

The first thing I do is validate my intuition. This process depends on the nature, level and depth of the gut feeling. But I never act upon in without validation. Sometimes Fe is enough, sometimes Ti is enough and then there are those so important that they must pass every test before I do anything.

But with validation I can trust that I'm right, and so do my friends, who've learned to trust me over time, trial, error and most importantly through making better decisions based on what I say. This way I feel safe enough to go about my life doing what I believe is right and influencing others in a way that I deem positive.

One thing I must point out, though, is that many of my intuitions are inapplicable. What I mean is that "the best way something should be" sometimes isn't an option in the real world. So I learned to work within the confines of reality and get "the best way something CAN be according to reality". This leads me to good judgement =)
 
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