[jtbeachbum]

As an INFP, I often feel like this and wondered if anyone else did too. Sometimes I feel so very lonely. Like Im surrounded by people, but still feel quite alone. And similairly, I feel that my friends dont really have a clue, and none of them really get me. This is exceedingly difficult b/c I seem to have an intense longing for close relationships of a deep, meaningful nature. Does anyone else experience this too?

 

[Teigue]

You're not alone(pun intended)! Going though high school I felt this way all the time. It is hard to find a good friend, but hang in there they're floating around. I suggest you take this time to get to know yourself better and do something creative or constructive, you just might feel better.

 

[starflower]

As an INFP, I often feel like this and wondered if anyone else did too. Sometimes I feel so very lonely. Like Im surrounded by people, but still feel quite alone. And similairly, I feel that my friends dont really have a clue, and none of them really get me. This is exceedingly difficult b/c I seem to have an intense longing for close relationships of a deep, meaningful nature. Does anyone else experience this too?

I totally could have written this. This is how I'm feeling right now. I often feel this way. I have not yet found a way to make a close friendship. I have tried, but it always seems to make me feel closer to a person, but they really don't care much. (((hugs)))

 

[Conscience]

INFp's always have this problem. They're so full of deepness, and creativity, and exact insight on everything... But they're so busy with it, that they're not exactly the social masters...
It's ok. Every INFp has posted at least 1 type of thread like this, because we've all gone through it. You'll find a friend some day!

 

[Johnny815]

As an INFP, I often feel like this and wondered if anyone else did too. Sometimes I feel so very lonely. Like Im surrounded by people, but still feel quite alone. And similairly, I feel that my friends dont really have a clue, and none of them really get me. This is exceedingly difficult b/c I seem to have an intense longing for close relationships of a deep, meaningful nature. Does anyone else experience this too?

I feel the same way often.. even with my friends I have known for years. They'll be in our group..talking, laughing, whatever.. and something will hit me like "They don't even know half of who I am..still to this day". I guess I feel misunderstood as well. Sometimes my friendships just seem like an illusion.

 

[Murky Muse]

INFPs aren't the only type to feel this. I'd think it'd be common in many INs as we see things differently than the norm but aren't good at sharing it, which creates a large divide between us and other people. I know I get this feeling every now and then; it's funny that I can be more lonely when I'm with people than when I'm alone.

 

[JerseyDevil]

I'm still looking for a close friend like this and feel this way often. The only one who has lasted has been my wife, and that is a little bit different.

In fact, there is one friend I've had since middle school that I still talk to once every few months, but we were never really close and are both just geeks more than anything. He is the only friend I've even kept in contact with for longer than the past 2-3 years. I guess with Facebook now I am keeping up with old friends whether I care to or not since I can see their status updates and all that, but that isn't really a personal connection.

 

[Peregrina]

You are certainly not alone, jtbeachbum, as I myself experience these sort of emotions quite frequently as well. I'm currently going through this process when it comes to social matters, as in spite of other being's generally acting in a friendly manner towards myself, I still have issues deciphering whether these people truly appreciate me for the person I sincerely am or are merely being courteous and polite without genuinely meaning their actions towards me.

I'd like to be more serene and self-assurred, and yet this seeming negative force somehow prohibts the ability for me to feel confident and at ease while encircled by others. I'll speak of these feelings towards my mother, whom is one of those rare human beings I feel truly acknowledges the individual I am and bears unconditional love towards me without consistent judgement, and she will simply retort that I am much too young to be undergoing such emotional concerns and should instead focus my attention on more of age matters such as my schoolwork and merely finding my place within this world.

While I still tend to feel a bit distressed when it comes to my role within society, in reference to a post I read from another INFP within a thread I created recently, know that in spite of your profound nature and vulnerability that your way of viewing this universe is not incorrect, for the fact that you are able to both follow the indications provided by your heart and empathize with others solely means that you are unique. Whether you believe this fact or not, you will eventually be able to indentify with other persons whom share the same complex and percipient nature as you yourself, for your not being able to identify with a being whom for instance may be either an xSTJ or xSTP does not signify that you are bound to be an outcasted freak within human society, for it instead merely means that the people with whom you will sincerely be able to form a intense emotional connection with are still pending to be found by you.

Exemplifying an unfortunate aspect of my personality that I have had a bit of issues overcoming myself, please do not feel the need to consume yourself within melancholy and hopelessness, and refrain from believing you are of no worth whatsoever and will invariably be outcasted within this world of ours, as you are but another distinct individual residing in this cosmos whom has something to offer towards this crazed universe that no other human will be able to themselves in quite the same way you do. When you dwell within the grasps of fatalism, you are merely stunting your foresight and yourself from being able to transcend towards the direction in which fate shall lead you, but when you maintain your past dreams and are invariably able to refuel an unwavering fire within your prioritzed goals, believe that they will surely be made a reality on nearing day in which you'd least expect it, in spite of whatever length those fantasies need in order to be realized. Know that you are not the sole spirit whom feels in this way at the moment, and that in spite of the pain you may undergo with a failed relationship, that there will forevermore be at least one distinct soul or so who will appreciate you for the person you arleady are.

I hope I didn't go too overboard with my commentary towards your issue, by the way...I've always had an issue with getting much too carried away while typing something within my computer :blushed:.

 

[oldsoul14]

This is exactly I feelingl...like I am only digging at the surface in all my relationships. This is quite a paradox for me because I crave deep and meaningful relationships. My mom is an ENFP, and very emotional and deep like me. The only difference is that she can express these emotions freely with other people. She is able to use her emotions to connect with other people and create deep meaningful relationships.

I have the same emotions, however, I feel like half the time I am just lost in them. I feel like my emotional and insightful tenancies prevent me from establishing relationships with other people. I'm so busy digging all the time that I forget whats up above; I am so busy searching for the connection that I have lost the concept of just doing it and making it happen.

I have found a friend who I believe is INFP too. I can really connect with her, but cant see her on a regular basis. It is depressing to me that there is only one person in my life who I can connect with on a meaningful level. Is there more out there???? Or I am I just going to be trapped on this INFP island rest of my life, watching the rest of the world from a far like "natures sleepless eremite".

Eventually I would like an intimate relationship. However, i feel like its more important right now to establish a couple more meaningful friendships.

any suggestions from you INFPS out there.

 

[loonatic]

Most of my friendship tend to form pretty fast and intense but also short live too. I know this due to my low self-esteem, If
I felt slight sense of rejection, I just push people away. I get better as I go along though, notice that I tend to hide negative
feeling inside and never speak out. I just never want anyone to know how sensitive I am because REALLY, I can be ridiculously sensitive and a bit paranoid when I truty care about someone.(which is rare to begin with)

I think this might be infp tendency to be lonely due to our complex nature. We're so understanding of other people yet
hardly anybody understand us. I guess that's why art is so important to me. I've never felt accepting and understood the
same way as when I listen to my favourite music. I must admit though that I'm kind of desperate for real friendship. Someone
who will see right through me and appreaciate me for me. Not like the substitute role I always fall into. :frustrating:

 

[A Better Tomorrow]

Definitely an infp thing. You're not alone.

 

[katerp]

I know how you feel. It definitely sucks to be surrounded by people but still feel invisible (or worse, feel the pity of people watching you do things alone). My 3 "closest" friends are people I've known since I was little and I think at this point we're friends more out of habit than for having any kind of real closeness or connection bewteen us. We've definitely grown up to be very different people and none of them really knows who I am. As it is now I only see them once every few months and I make no effort to see them more often because I don't really enjoy their company. (My most recent contact was about 2 weeks ago when my "best" friend called to tell me she got engaged - and the fact that I think this is a mistake and will now have to fake being happy for her whenever I see her makes me even more hesitant to see her than before, but I digress.)

My only ray of hope for a meaningful friendship is that I'm looking at graduate schools now and hope I will end up studying somewhere away from my hometown where I can make a fresh start and meet new people. Maybe if you don't feel any closeness with the friends you have now you need to change your surroundings a little bit, maybe start hanging out in new places you think fit you better where you might find people you can connect with.