[Empress Appleia Cattius XII]

Lately I've been feeling very lonely. I've got plenty of acquaintances, but nobody I can call a friend.
I have social anxiety and Aspergers, and was always very lonely growing up, but now it's got to a ridiculous point.
I love being around people, but am incapable of making actual friends. I have no idea why.

Are there any other ENTPs in a similar situation?
Have you,
1. Been in a situation where you've found yourself very lonely?
2. Found a way to work around it?
3. Ever found you make acquaintances easily but find it harder to bond past that point?
4. Ever had any form of social anxiety?

 

[DeductiveReasoner]

1. Been in a situation where you've found yourself very lonely? Yes, the feeling comes and goes. It's difficult to find someone to whom I can relate. Especially in high school.
2. Found a way to work around it? I'll be graduating soon (?)
3. Ever found you make acquaintances easily but find it harder to bond past that point? Yes. I don't really know how to further embellish on this statement, really. It just seems like most of my "friendships" are based on really shallow things, and they just don't satisfy my need for a mental connection. We usually just sort of, fall apart I suppose.
4. Ever had any form of social anxiety? Not to my awareness.

 

[Onomatopoeia]

Have you,
1. Been in a situation where you've found yourself very lonely?

Plenty of times. I can be surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel terribly alone. It was particularly bad during grade school, when everyone was more concerned with fitting in rather than expanding their minds and experiences.

2. Found a way to work around it?

I've lucked out and found quite a few friends that accept me, even if they don't always get me. I also find myself reading, playing video games, or doing puzzles to fill my mind with fun things instead of needing people. Things got better when I went off to university and met people who were interested in learning and bettering themselves, and could hold conversations that didn't involve shopping and boys and such.

3. Ever found you make acquaintances easily but find it harder to bond past that point?

For the most part, yes. I have many acquaintances, but it takes a while to earn the title of "friend" for me. Once that title is earned, it is difficult to ever shed

4. Ever had any form of social anxiety?

I have social anxiety related to food. Ordering food at a restaurant is a nightmare. There are many times when I would much rather go hungry than go some place and order something. My parents noticed this when I was 3 or 4 years old; I would freeze up when they would try to get me to tell a server or cashier what I wanted. I also have an eating disorder that stems from control issues.

Edit: I forgot to mention about that last one... I have worked in restaurants in the past for about 5 years. That didn't ease the anxiety one bit. In fact, it increased it because people are mean when they're hungry and really gross when they eat >.<

 

[Empress Appleia Cattius XII]

I found this off the 'You know you're an ENTP when...' thread.

You know you're an ENTP when you have less real friends than an INTJ.

It seems a lot of ENTPs I know have problems with the friends/acquaintance scenario. I'm friendly with lots of people, but not really friends.

 

[spaceoddity]

i've felt lonely since I was about 10

it just gets worse every year. hopefully it will be easier after high school

 

[aef8234]

1. Been in a situation where you've found yourself very lonely?

All. Ways.

2. Found a way to work around it?

Not really, but more voices everywhere helps, whether I know them or not.

3. Ever found you make acquaintances easily but find it harder to bond past that point?

People usually just drift further away, but I digress, it takes two to tango.

4. Ever had any form of social anxiety?

Would antisocial count? It sounds like it, but, I have doubts.
Would that count too?

 

[Kabosu]

I have social anxiety and Aspergers, and was always very lonely growing up.
I love being around people, but am incapable of making actual friends. I have no idea why.

Actually when a cognition test stated maybe I'm ENTP, I thought maybe I was sort of an anomaly to that, and everything here is kind of why I always had dismissed really being an extrovert.

Have you,
1. Been in a situation where you've found yourself very lonely?

I'm pretty independent, but admittedly it happens often.
Basically, when I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who initially just point out my differences to them, I decide I don't really want to be involved and might not talk to that group of people.
The inverse is it isn't that hard to become a magnet to a lot of people who either are annoying or don't always have the best judgment.

2. Found a way to work around it?

I really try to negotiate what I can, and screw it if it doesn't work out.

3. Ever found you make acquaintances easily but find it harder to bond past that point?

Actually, I find that for making regular, non-platonic, good friendships, it's easy. As for romantic relationships and the like, it's just hard for me to show attraction to others sometimes, especially if it is more emotional/intellectual than physical. I have more conflict with that aspect than with just friendship.

4. Ever had any form of social anxiety?

I think most of the anxiety I have is social-based. I generally end up opening up to people, but it only comes easier if I trust the person enough to really open up to them. Sometimes I try the opposite and it backfires.

btw, I love the signature - I always thought of the periodic table when reading the function names.

 

[Boxter9]

Sorry, I know this was from a week and a half ago

1. Been in a situation where you've found yourself very lonely?
Yeah, though less so in the past couple of years. There are two, maybe three people I consider real friends; the number sounds sad but it seldom depresses me. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have them in my life. But yeah, I've struggled with chronic loneliness in the past -- blamed my own weirdness, and thought something must be wrong with ME, not just my circumstances. I hope you're not blaming yourself.

2. Found a way to work around it?
I got really good at Minesweeper. My general emotional state is virtually sinusoidal so I just... passed the time.

3. Ever found you make acquaintances easily but find it harder to bond past that point?
Acquaintances.... those are the people you make out with right? o.o Most people I know simply aren't capable of achieving the kind of intellectual depth, breadth, and (most important) variety I experience daily. I try not to expect too much of folks.

4. Ever had any form of social anxiety?
I don't think so.

 

[aef8234]

Actually when a cognition test stated maybe I'm ENTP, I thought maybe I was sort of an anomaly to that, and everything here is kind of why I always had dismissed really being an extrovert.

It's so mind-boggling!
So far, 4 people here confessed to have some sort of social disorder.

 

[chittychitty LightNING]

Reading this, it seems I have misinterpreted friends I've had to be acquaintances. The shallowness of the friendships I've had led me to believe they weren't really friendships at all, but just passing-by friendliness, if that makes any sense. Seems I have left a lot of these friendships not even aware that they were just that.

I always took it to mean a resonate or connection to another that made a friendship - so I assumed I was just bad at making friends. Never occurred to me that friendship is a much lesser connection - consisting of 'hanging out' and usually not going deeper than a joke or observation. Fascinating.

Edit : Now that I think about it, I've only regarded myself as having had one real friend out of my many regular. He was as creative and spontaneous as me, loved drawing and writing, and we fit like a puzzle. We worked on projects together, even though he was a pain in the ass at assigning me to jobs I didn't want, talked about stuff. It was pretty cool while it lasted - but as life would have it, friendships do not typically last. I think he was an ENTP.

 

[Olmed3011]

Get yourself a hobby. Challenge yourself. Travel. Seek out new people but also learn how to appreciate things even if you do it alone (good time to try out the hedonist lifestyle)

 

[William I am]

1. Been in a situation where you've found yourself very lonely?
Yes. Lived in a place where people had drastically different values from me (people would snub you for not having the latest iPhone. That place should be sterilized and repopulated). Had a girlfriend despite that, it ended, was incredibly lonely.

2. Found a way to work around it?
I moved. Not helpful for you. I also got ahold of people on sites I used, and reconnected with old friends long distance like. It worked ok for a while.
3. Ever found you make acquaintances easily but find it harder to bond past that point?
Yes. This is definitely true for me. So much variation and I am so logically dependent that seeing anyone behave ways I wouldn't makes me believe they must be stupid or wrong. It makes it hard to bond unless I can decouple what I would do from what they would do.

4. Ever had any form of social anxiety?
Yup. I was having anxiety and near-panic attacks for a while before I moved. What caused it was being stuck in situations I couldn't control where I was exposed to things I found extremely painful (the girl who dumped me had a class in the same classroom as mine and I randomly saw her interacting/flirting with other people. One morning, she was riding my bus instead of a different one, and I overheard her meeting somebody new. I'm pretty sure I failed the physics test I was preparing for that morning).
How I solved this? Therapy and wellbutrin. I had other things going on too, but the wellbutrin helped with thing that the therapy wouldn't help with, namely Intrusive Thoughts and the Anxiety.

I just took my last 1/4th of a tablet (not recommended to split them) a few days ago after tapering off for 6 weeks, and I am feeling better off than on after a year of use.

There are resources out there, try to get into some of them. My school has been extremely useful. I used their health center for medication and therapy, and got the medication for free through a Patience Assistance Program.

Best of Luck