Personality Cafe banner
1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
37 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do they survive? Certainly it depends on the willingness, maturity and honesty of both individuals but can two people who never met each other maintain a healthy relationship?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
246 Posts
I think LDRs and what you're describing are two different things.

I've had long-distance relationships, but never with a person that I'd never met in real life.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,130 Posts
I don't think they'd work for me, not as a permanent or semi-permanent thing. I'd just start losing interest.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,877 Posts
It's subjective.

They work for some people and don't for others.

Both parties have to trust and understand each other, as well as finding ways to cope with the distance.
I can guarantee that it's perfectly possible for two people who have never met to maintain a healthy and loving relationship and work together toward a shared future. It might not be for anyone, I'm not denying that but I find it absurd how quick people are to dismiss them just because LDRs aren't part of their own experience or compatible with their own needs. It happens quite often, especially with those who aren't particularly interested in either the online realm or 'atypical' deep bonds.

If both individuals have a good level of maturity, adaptability and creativity, they genuinely love each other and they can't help but wanting to be together, then long distance works. Even more so if neither party is overly physical/social and they're making plans to eliminate the distance and be together in person. Patience is a learned skill for most, if you love someone, this is perfectly worth it all.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,435 Posts
It's subjective.

They work for some people and don't for others.

Both parties have to trust and understand each other, as well as finding ways to cope with the distance.
I can guarantee that it's perfectly possible for two people who have never met to maintain a healthy and loving relationship and work together toward a shared future. It might not be for anyone, I'm not denying that but I find it absurd how quick people are to dismiss them just because LDRs aren't part of their own experience or compatible with their own needs. It happens quite often, especially with those who aren't particularly interested in either the online realm or 'atypical' deep bonds.

If both individuals have a good level of maturity, adaptability and creativity, they genuinely love each other and they can't help but wanting to be together, then long distance works. Even more so if neither party is overly physical/social and they're making plans to eliminate the distance and be together in person. Patience is a learned skill for most, if you love someone, this is perfectly worth it all.
This. ^_^ <3
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
971 Posts
Do they survive? Certainly it depends on the willingness, maturity and honesty of both individuals but can two people who never met each other maintain a healthy relationship?
You basically answered your own question. But it also depends on other factors. Objectively speaking, there is data for some failing horribly and for some succeeding incredibly (and anything in-between).

It is like any other relationship, except you add a LD element to it. Like @Hotaru mentionned, some are more able to deal with it than others, but there is nothing about it that makes it inherently less likely to survive in the end if both think it is worth it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,950 Posts
You are in a LDR if you think you will actually meet that person and put those path together and start a journey together as one. LDR is about believing you can conquer distance not about being with a person you will never meet. I don't think no one can survive at that.
 

·
Host
ENTP 5w6 So/Sx 584 ILE Honorary INTJ VLFE
Joined
·
21,000 Posts
Do they survive? Certainly it depends on the willingness, maturity and honesty of both individuals but can two people who never met each other maintain a healthy relationship?
Well, I know my LDR, so my situation is different. I don't think they can work over the long-term. One of you has to make the move, or the longing begins to get too great.
 

·
The No More Hero
Joined
·
18,285 Posts
Well, I know my LDR, so my situation is different. I don't think they can work over the long-term. One of you has to make the move, or the longing begins to get too great.
I always thought of LDR has a temporary form for relationship. Nobody can stay in LDR forever.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
695 Posts
I don't believe it's possible to be "in love" with someone you've never met. In fact, I find the whole idea preposterous. If you've never met the person IRL, you might very well be infatuated with a false online persona. Oh, I don't doubt that the person having the infatuation experiences genuine feelings, but you're not in love with the actual person, rather it's your own projection of an idealized partner that you're in love with. I believe the online environment is an excellent breeding ground for all kinds of fantasies because it makes it possible to ascribe all these amazing "soul mate" qualities to someone we've never met, and the longer you wait to meet your online partner, the more ingrained these fantasies become. Chances are that once you finally do meet, you'll be sorely disappointed.

Obviously it's impossible to know if you actually have chemistry with the person if your only interaction is through Skype. Chemical communication is an incredibly important part of how we form attraction, and without having actually met, there can't know if there's chemistry. Maybe when (if?) you finally meet IRL, you can't stand each other's company?

It's very easy for anyone to present in a certain way online that does not correspond with the person's actual personality. Even with a webcam, everyone can be on their best behavior for an hour every now and then throughout a "Skype date". You can't observe the person in a natural environment or see how they interact with others. You won't experience the person's bad side or know what they're like under pressure. In short, you basically only know what the other person has told you.

Long distance relationships can obviously work, but not as a permanent solution. Can anyone honestly imagine themselves in 40 years still being together with someone situated in another country? I've heard of people who have made wedding plans or vowed to spend the rest of their life with a person they've never met, and I wonder what their priorities are.

Is it possible to find love online? Absolutely. "True love" with someone you've yet to meet face to face? Nnnno.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,838 Posts
In the short-term, it can really challenge the relationship. The endurance is indicative of your strong emotional connection or lack thereof.


The long-terms ones can have similar affects, but... they are infinitely frustrating and painful. Not for the faint of heart.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
533 Posts
What you are describing is not really a long distance relationship, since the parties never met IMHO.

I actually wonder if they are relationships at all. Maybe, in a 21th century kind of virtual way.
I just have a hard time considering this a relationship. You never heard their voice, looked them directly in the eyes; felt the body language, their odor, never hugged , never touched them...


To me it seems like an illusion where you have a lot of freedom to project your wants and ideas of the ideal partner.
It is deceptive because you might love the illusion you have created. Or rather than love it is more an infatuation.

But it might also a potential to a relationship until you meet IRL. where the illusion either sheds or you fall in love all over again (or for real). But isn't this more "a first contact" or "a way you found each other" then?

the only long distance relationship I believe in working, is one where both parties fell in love IRL, and are separated for a while due to circumstances.
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top