[curious0610]

There have been similar threads about this (INFJ death stare, INFJ eyes) but i wanted to start one specifically about this. When i look at someone, i feel like i'm not just looking at their physical body but trying to figure out what they're feeling. I'm sitting there, looking at someone, but not looking at THEM them but "feeling" them or getting a SENSE of their presence. :mellow:

Ive had times where I would be sitting with someone, having a conversation, looking at them, talking normally. like I do with everyone. but I've been told by people who were observing that there seems to be some kind of 'connection" - they would keep looking back and forth at us to try and understand what was happening but later on they said that they thought something was cooking (romantically). because there seemed to be some kind of intense connection. im aware that i have this intense looking/feeling thing when i like someone and i am obviously more intersted and focused on them (and trying to 'connect" with them on another level), but i have been told this even when i wasnt really interested/focusing specifically on someone.

Thoughts? :mellow: and im just curious at how other people have seen you guys when you are aware you do this? im always curious about how i come off to others..

 

[Hokahey]

Ever try to bring up their "presence" or try to tell them what you sense about them and they get very defensive and elusive all of a sudden? Then, you really know you were right and they won't admit it. I wonder if it scares people that we are so inept to understand others just by our feelings.

I do understand what you are talking about though. Ever feel a presence in the room without seeing that person yet? Basically someone walks into a room behind you but you know it because you can just sense the energy?

 

[Solid Snake]

It's funny that you bring up that doom stare/melting stare intense stuff. First off let me say that it's so freaking cute but so freaking scary at the same time.

I'm an INFP, but one INFJ woman I noticed (I seem to only notice those...) seemed to have some ''hanging empty dead-stares" at persons or objects when she was obviously tired/stressed, or on another planet. Then, all of a sudden, they look at you out of nowhere with the same stare (please don't kill me). At those moments I honestly feel like I have to run away immediately. My question is, what are you thinking when you do that usually? And if you stare at someone you like, would you rather shy away or keep the stare for like, 5 seconds?

Now to get to your point with the ''feeling'' and staring through a person. First off, as I said earlier it's cute, but it's also scary. At least to me. I'm not used to have someone try to peek into my soul and "feel" me and my true emotions. It's almost hostile. Usually, I'm the one who does that :dry: ... I definitely feel there is some kind of connection and understanding--before the person had even uttered a single word to me.

Therefore, what is my reaction? I shy away, but I also get a high level of interest in that person afterwards--who I suspect to be worthy in my eyes (as in doing what I usually do). If it's a female and if other good factors applies, I usually become highly interested and eventually have a crush.

If it's a male, I go far, far away.

 

[quietly]

I do this a lot. I find it magnifies when I touch somebody, I can literally feel what they are feeling. When I was a child I used to fantasize about having psychic powers, but I think it is probably more common than most people suspect. A combination of intuition, intelligence and noticing details about people. I keep profiles of people in my mind that I draw upon when I am talking to them, noticing their body language and the way they choose words and the things they say and the way they simply feel to me at the time. I have made a lot of people uncomfortable with apparently uncanny knowledge over my life.

 

[vel]

Now to get to your point with the ''feeling'' and staring through a person. First off, as I said earlier it's cute, but it's also scary. At least to me. I'm not used to have someone try to peek into my soul and "feel" me and my true emotions. It's almost hostile. Usually, I'm the one who does that :dry: ... I definitely feel there is some kind of connection and understanding--before the person had even uttered a single word to me.

I do it when I am trying to understand something or somebody, and this is where introverted logic Ti kicks in. Ti unlike Fi is a very impersonal function. It is coldly analytical. So I'd have to say that at this point my view of the world becomes sort of depersonalized. This is probably why it feels so scary. That death stare is Ni-Ti staring at you and trying to understand you better.

Therefore, what is my reaction? I shy away, but I also get a high level of interest in that person afterwards--who I suspect to be worthy in my eyes (as in doing what I usually do). If it's a female and if other good factors applies, I usually become highly interested and eventually have a crush.
If it's a male, I go far, far away.

T function in MBTI symbolizes competitive agressive impulse. So whenever INFJs gives you this stare you correctly pick up the aggressive vibes and distance yourself from the males who might be aggressive towards you. But in females it sort of turns you on since your own logical function is 4th one and according to what I've read the 3rd and 4th functions are an imprint of what we're looking for in opposite sex. If you have typed yourself correctly, what you're looking for though as INFP is expressions of extraverted logic.

 

[CarmelinaGunn]

I definitely feel like I do this with people without even knowing it. Even people in the room that I don't know but that interest me. If I'm in a room with new people I will definitely not be the one talking the whole time, probably not at all, but I'm definitely observing everyone intensely and getting a "feel" for them. I think I walk out of the room with more information, that I at least think is correct, than most do. For me it's just a part of observing other humans, this deep observation is second nature to me, it's all a part of taking in my surroundings.

Ive had times where I would be sitting with someone, having a conversation, looking at them, talking normally. like I do with everyone. but I've been told by people who were observing that there seems to be some kind of 'connection" - they would keep looking back and forth at us to try and understand what was happening but later on they said that they thought something was cooking (romantically). because there seemed to be some kind of intense connection. im aware that i have this intense looking/feeling thing when i like someone and i am obviously more intersted and focused on them (and trying to 'connect" with them on another level), but i have been told this even when i wasnt really interested/focusing specifically on someone.

This happens to me all the time. The majority of my friends are guys so I spend a lot of time talking to them, especially at parties and stuff where I'm uncomfortable in a large crowd and sticking close to people I know well. I get asked if romantic things are happening between me and my platonic guy friends all the time. It's crazy. Because there never is anything going on, nor am I ever attempting to get anything "going on", haha. If I like someone I doubt anyone obsreving would be able to tell.

 

[Annihilatron]

I don't use my eyes so obviously anymore (i'm much more discreet about my observation these days). Its nothing amazing or crazy though - its more just a connection between our experiences, intuition, whatever knowledge we've gained through reading or learning, and rapid analysis. In effect, its not too different from a Sherlock gaze, except most INFJs don't know how theirs works. Its the difference between a genius inventor that studies like hell, and say, Forge, from Marvel Comics XMen, who invents shit that he doesn't even understand (but it works)

What we're doing is detecting upon millions of little clues, and applying intuition to fill in the gaps (fairly) accurately.

 

[Rez]

every day occurrence for me,
I thought every body did this?

 

[Cirion]

I don't use my eyes so obviously anymore (i'm much more discreet about my observation these days). Its nothing amazing or crazy though - its more just a connection between our experiences, intuition, whatever knowledge we've gained through reading or learning, and rapid analysis. In effect, its not too different from a Sherlock gaze, except most INFJs don't know how theirs works. Its the difference between a genius inventor that studies like hell, and say, Forge, from Marvel Comics XMen, who invents shit that he doesn't even understand (but it works)

What we're doing is detecting upon millions of little clues, and applying intuition to fill in the gaps (fairly) accurately.

I agree with this, a lot of times I usually go "things don't add up" in my head when talking to someone, but I can't pinpoint it more than that at that time usually. Usually I will figure at least one of those clues out after a while into the conversation and bring it up (unless it's someone I know better, then I usually just ask "what are you not telling me right now?").

I can agree to some extent with the sensing people just by looking, I usually know when I shouldn't trust people and when to trust people, one example was a guy me and my friends met, he seemed nice, didn't hear anything particular that sounded bad in my ears, I still decided that, no I don't want be a friend of his. Turns out it wasn't a bad decision at all, the guy was no good and got my friend into quite a bit of trouble.

 

[Gracie]

I can identify completely with what you say here. It's actually one of the defining features of my character in my own eyes, my tendency to look at a person I may never have met before and get a sense of theirf "aura" almost immediately. Some people I really, really like the instant I meet them. I instinctively trust and like them. Others, while they may be outwardly charismatic and/or charming, I avoid like the plague due to a "sense" I can't quite put my finger on. I just know there's something *off* about them. Sometimes I get quite a lot of detail, and I can sense how someone will behave and almost predict it before I know them very well. It's hard to describe. If anything, it's almost like a smell or something? I can just sense their character, like a distinctive scent I know is theirs. Probably a ludicrous analogy, but there you go...

 

[Mr Reality]

Strange I was actually thinking about this topic today. I can sense people quite well and yes have to conceal my gaze as many have turned and met my probing eyes! I remember a girl I was attracted to and sensed that she was to me also I could tell when she was in the building and when she was not, it was strange I could also tell her movements and reactions before she acted. I have never noticed my own "death stare", but come to think of it I remember watching a boy one time manipulating a young girl and someone commented about my “intense stare” I was amazed that I was the only one who noticed what the boy was doing. The more i think about it I see that I do it when I especially distrust someone my eyes hood over and focus hard on the person from a distant and i know extaclty what they are doing and trying to do. I do sit and read people and I know I enjoy doing it has that "Sherlock" element to it also of connecting things together the obvious and the unseen. I can also sense when someone wants something from me that i will not want to give they are friendly smiley, asking about my day et and I am tense and guarded thinking "ok,what do you want?" i find that type of behavior totally repulsive its like lying. Something else I have noticed is that I seem to relate characters to face similarities. In other words if someone looks like someone I have met before physically than I am sure they have the same character and so far 100% of the times I have been right. I do not know if that is a memory pattern that I have developed or intuition at work. could it be that certain characters manifest (display) themselves with certain physical tendencies or is it the other way if you have certain physical features will that dictate the leaning of your character..I wonder?

 

[Vegalyp Gamalona Gole]

If you have ever heard of the situation where a person can size up a person by their handshake, I am pretty sure that is similar to our stare. We can get a general sense about someone and we know its right, we just can't prove it.

 

[Vaan]

same, i catch people out quite well and i find that if im in my deep pondering mood i will stare at someone for an eternity, searching the deepest corners of their psyche, interestingly enough it works more often than not and it freaks people out when i look at them and then say the exact thing they are thinking about, sometimes down to the exact word, it happens to me and my best mate alot, we'll often say things in unison even though we arent similar at all because i can judge how he acts

 

[Hastings]

every day occurrence for me,
I thought every body did this?

Me too. I mean, I've met people who very unaware of themselves and others, but generally speaking human interaction is a day to day thing for most people. One could assume people to get fairly adept at reading others, even if INFJ's might be especially good at it.

 

[fzleen]

I can read people easily,I don't know if it's an INFJ thing but I can really spot someone who's lying.

 

[Solid Snake]

Anyone who reads "I Know What you Think" by Lillian Glass (a well known woman with a Ph.D in psychology and communication troubles who counselled many Hollywood actors) can learn to read other people fairly easily, really... (I'd recommend it, even for you INFJs, so you learn not to make too much quick assumptions)

INFJs just have a more fit set of psyche combinations to do so.

I can do fairly well myself, although I don't have to do the death stares or get in some kind of stance. I just walk in and feel other people as if I was breathing their auras :tongue:

My strong "P" makes me become so laid back and open, to the point of becoming one with the flow of any other person's emotion... :crazy:

 

[Raichan]

In real life, you can sense someone's aura and presence even without directly looking at them.

 

[diverged]

I've been told many times by people that they have thought I liked certains friends of mine whom I would just be like *NOOO because I could never have imagine crossing that line. I do think it's the way I look at them or maybe even act if I were to push it. It's just the aura or atmosphere between us that brings my warmhearted feelings to the surface and people who observe this sometimes take it as romantic (obviously with opposite sex friends only). >_>
Those were the days where I let my Fe roam a longer distance but still kept my innate introversion and not giving myself so easily. When I found acquaintances interesting, it showed subtly through my eyes, voice, etc. So all that <-- obviously equaled flirting/teasing to certain boys.