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I discovered a friend of mine is an ENTP. We met a few years ago, shared lots of jokes, laughs and good times. We lost touch for about 9 mts, when we reconnected, he was like a stranger to me. As an ENFP i can go long periods of time without any contact, then pick up where I left off. We were both busy with our personal lives, and once things got back to normal i tried getting in touch with him again. He stopped talking, and whenever i mention or ask what's wrong, he gives me the silent treatment, totally ignores me. Now granted, i think i might push his buttons, it drives me crazy when he won't open up to me. I mean i'd rather him tell me off, just be upfront , anything, just something so i can have closer. I know he knows this drives me nuts, would he do it to purposely to make me crazy, lol ? I don't know what else to do, i tried a logical approach, that didn't work either.

Do ENTP have issues resolving problems, or misunderstandings ? He sends me mixed signals constantly. He won't speak with me, but.....he will do subtle things to let me know he is watching me. I didn't think it was typical of ENTP to run, i assumed if they were either bored or not interested in communication they would say it like it is. Is it typical for an ENTP to be jealous ? / Impatient ? . I get a sense he might be bitter with me, yet at the same time i remember him being direct, so not sure why he wouldn't just say " We have nothing to talk about ". It feels like he's playing mind games .

We will never be in a romantic relationship. I'm married, so is he, this isn't about anything more than a friendship. How do ENTP act if they are attracted to a woman ? Do they get stupid ? I ask because i sense he could be attracted to me, yet is acting all " I don't give a shit ", kinda like an asshole really >0<. I'd really like for us to be able to have a friendship, i don't know the best way to approach him. I tried approaching him in a direct way calmly, in a pissed off way frustrated, and why do i get the feeling he enjoys my frustrations. Or maybe i'm just annoying ? heh :-! AW. Seriously though, i can't stand when i don't understand when i get the silent treatment, i would like to understand what is going on in his head. I'd love to hear from an open minded mature ENTP who has life experience with relationships, and women. Thanks :)
 

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Well, you've got a very interesting story. The story sounded very weird at first. You then explained that you and he are both married (to other people). In my mind that explains a great deal. He could be under pressure from his wife about "friendships" with other women. I'm sure you understand what I mean. I think he's avoiding you because he doesn't want to deal with it. He doesn't want to explain it to you because it doesn't make sense to him either. I think his wife made him make a choice. I don't think she wants YOU in the picture. He's not happy about it, so he avoids you. He chose the relationship with his wife over his relationship with you.

In short, I don't think it has anything to do with you personally other than you being a female.

These are of course my thoughts and opinions. They're worth about as much as you paid for them. I've been married for 18 years and I've done exactly the same thing in the past.

My advice to you: Don't push him into explaining why he's acting the way he is. Do NOT put him on the spot about choosing his wife over you. Write him an e-mail or whatnot telling him you're his friend and there if he ever wants to talk.
 

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He sounds like an immature guy (type doesn't matter) who realized he had feelings for you and doesn't know what to do about it, but definitely feels like he can't let his guard down and be friends like before. Unless something else happened and you aren't aware of it's significance to him or something. I've shut down friends before, but only after an incident like a betrayal of trust. I think I've also done it when I've realized someone wasn't worth my time, but I usually figure that our upon meeting someone or the first few times - never after being friends.
 

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I always find the wordy side of ENFPs on the confusing side.

needless to say, we are not always direct. If there is an issue with ramifications we may not approach the situation head-on. Obviously marriage plays a part. There obviously is attraction at play. That attraction is playing out on your side by your need to understand.
 
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I discovered a friend of mine is an ENTP. We met a few years ago, shared lots of jokes, laughs and good times. We lost touch for about 9 mts, when we reconnected, he was like a stranger to me. As an ENFP i can go long periods of time without any contact, then pick up where I left off. We were both busy with our personal lives, and once things got back to normal i tried getting in touch with him again. He stopped talking, and whenever i mention or ask what's wrong, he gives me the silent treatment, totally ignores me. Now granted, i think i might push his buttons, it drives me crazy when he won't open up to me. I mean i'd rather him tell me off, just be upfront , anything, just something so i can have closer. I know he knows this drives me nuts, would he do it to purposely to make me crazy, lol ? I don't know what else to do, i tried a logical approach, that didn't work either.

Do ENTP have issues resolving problems, or misunderstandings ? He sends me mixed signals constantly. He won't speak with me, but.....he will do subtle things to let me know he is watching me. I didn't think it was typical of ENTP to run, i assumed if they were either bored or not interested in communication they would say it like it is. Is it typical for an ENTP to be jealous ? / Impatient ? . I get a sense he might be bitter with me, yet at the same time i remember him being direct, so not sure why he wouldn't just say " We have nothing to talk about ". It feels like he's playing mind games .

We will never be in a romantic relationship. I'm married, so is he, this isn't about anything more than a friendship. How do ENTP act if they are attracted to a woman ? Do they get stupid ? I ask because i sense he could be attracted to me, yet is acting all " I don't give a shit ", kinda like an asshole really >0<. I'd really like for us to be able to have a friendship, i don't know the best way to approach him. I tried approaching him in a direct way calmly, in a pissed off way frustrated, and why do i get the feeling he enjoys my frustrations. Or maybe i'm just annoying ? heh :-! AW. Seriously though, i can't stand when i don't understand when i get the silent treatment, i would like to understand what is going on in his head. I'd love to hear from an open minded mature ENTP who has life experience with relationships, and women. Thanks :)
To the bolded part, YES if it involves feelings. When I was married, women hit on me much more than when I was single. Women are strange that way. :tongue:I can’t speak for all ENTPs but I was very loyal to my wife. Does this look like it might very easily turn physical?
 

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It sounds like he's blocking as much interaction as possible to hide his attraction. Most likely he feels guilty about the attraction because he's very loyal to his wife.

You need to back off. He will approach you if he wants to.
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
To the bolded part, YES if it involves feelings. When I was married, women hit on me much more than when I was single. Women are strange that way. :tongue:I can’t speak for all ENTPs but I was very loyal to my wife. Does this look like it might very easily turn physical?
Thanks :) No, no chance of any physical contact , i can't say what he is thinking thou, apparently he thinks i should understand that telepathically.;p I think i got my answer within all the post put together. Still confused about why it would be so difficult to say " Nice to hear from you, been busy with life and family, i don't have time to catch up. Keep well ! " Is that so hard for an ENTP, really. I don't see anything emotional about any of that, only straight up with closer. I think because that is how i would handle it i expect the same from others, but we are different people obviously, so the lesson here is expectations suck >0<.

Thank you to all who responded, the answers are much clearer now.
 

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Thanks :) No, no chance of any physical contact , i can't say what he is thinking thou, apparently he thinks i should understand that telepathically.;p I think i got my answer within all the post put together. Still confused about why it would be so difficult to say " Nice to hear from you, been busy with life and family, i don't have time to catch up. Keep well ! " Is that so hard for an ENTP, really. I don't see anything emotional about any of that, only straight up with closer. I think because that is how i would handle it i expect the same from others, but we are different people obviously, so the lesson here is expectations suck >0<.

Thank you to all who responded, the answers are much clearer now.
Could be his wife told him to cut it out? Try some innocuous contact like sms and see what he says.
 

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... why it would be so difficult to say " Nice to hear from you, been busy with life and family, i don't have time to catch up. Keep well ! "
At least for me personally this could indeed be difficult to say. I suspect it's because of the Fe relatively high in the ENTP function stack => highly reluctant to disappoint others.
 
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It sounds like he's blocking as much interaction as possible to hide his attraction. Most likely he feels guilty about the attraction because he's very loyal to his wife.

You need to back off. He will approach you if he wants to.
Guilty about feeling attraction... What fucking strange world we live in. Just because you have a wife is no excuse to ignore all other members of the opposite sex like they are nobodies. Ostracizing people is not a good quality...

Imo, she doesn't need to back off, she needs to confront him about his cowardice
 

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Guilty about feeling attraction... What fucking strange world we live in. Just because you have a wife is no excuse to ignore all other members of the opposite sex like they are nobodies. Ostracizing people is not a good quality...

Imo, she doesn't need to back off, she needs to confront him about his cowardice
First of all, do you have a day job? Ever considered working at a movie theater? Because dude, projection.

He's not "ignoring all members of the opposite sex like they are nobodies." He's ignoring one person, for reasons unknown.

But to continue, no, I don't think you understand. Some ENTP's (and I'm one of them) take their commitments and loyalties very seriously. I know that in my case, it is difficult for me to act as if I'm not attracted to someone if I am attracted to them. Couple this with impulse problems and a desire to honor one's commitment to one's spouse and you get an ENTP who refuses to even interact with you. It could very well be the case that he's very concerned he'd act on his attraction.

In any case, she doesn't even know what is going through his head. He's indicating that he doesn't want to interact with her. I would be unsurprised if she was met with the same reaction if she investigates further.
 

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First of all, do you have a day job? Ever considered working at a movie theater? Because dude, projection.

He's not "ignoring all members of the opposite sex like they are nobodies." He's ignoring one person, for reasons unknown.

But to continue, no, I don't think you understand. Some ENTP's (and I'm one of them) take their commitments and loyalties very seriously. I know that in my case, it is difficult for me to act as if I'm not attracted to someone if I am attracted to them. Couple this with impulse problems and a desire to honor one's commitment to one's spouse and you get an ENTP who refuses to even interact with you. It could very well be the case that he's very concerned he'd act on his attraction.
The not interacting with anyone you even feel a minor attraction for is the common "commitment" excuse isn't it? Ignoring people because you fear that you'll act on the attraction imo shows a lack of character. Rest assured, unless you move outside your comfort zone and develop some self-control through experience you'll eventually break your commitment, because it is extremely unlikely that you can avoid all attraction situations forever. Can't keep bottling up those feelings forever. And no, you don't need to act as if you're not attracted to someone. Aslong as there is no physical contact, it doesn't matter... If your wife has a problem with non-physical attraction, well then, your wife is a control freak. :happy:
 

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The not interacting with anyone you even feel a minor attraction for is the common "commitment" excuse isn't it? Ignoring people because you fear that you'll act on the attraction imo shows a lack of character. Rest assured, unless you move outside your comfort zone and develop some self-control through experience you'll eventually break your commitment, because it is extremely unlikely that you can avoid all attraction situations forever. Can't keep bottling up those feelings forever. And no, you don't need to act as if you're not attracted to someone. Aslong as there is no physical contact, it doesn't matter... If your wife has a problem with non-physical attraction, well then, your wife is a control freak. :happy:
I disagree. If he doesn't want to be friends because he's attracted and would rather not have any contact, that's reasonable and fine by me.

And I don't know, IS that the common commitment excuse? if he has impulse control problems and his method of dealing with that is to remove the temptation, who are you to criticize?

And again, you're generalizing about a pattern of behavior that you don't even know is consistent with this ENTP we're speculating about. This could be an isolated incident due to extenuating circumstances.
 
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I concur with what @WillyT said. I have had to cut female friends out of the picture because of my wife's jealousy issues before. Of course that's just speculation, but if that is the case then try buddying up with his wife and see what happens. If you can build a friendship with his wife, especially if you're able to become closer to her than you are to him, then he might just come around.
 
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I concur with what @WillyT said. I have had to cut female friends out of the picture because of my wife's jealousy issues before. Of course that's just speculation, but if that is the case then try buddying up with his wife and see what happens. If you can build a friendship with his wife, especially if you're able to become closer to her than you are to him, then he might just come around.
Sure, I totally understand. I just find jealousy a appalling attribute, which reeks of control freak to me. You're not doing anything wrong by making your wife jealous. In fact, you probably did more general harm by abandonning your other female friends in the name of unjustified jealousy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Could be his wife told him to cut it out? Try some innocuous contact like sms and see what he says.
Tried that, still no response. Yes, it is very possible his wife could have told him no contact, which to me is crazy. I don't know her, i worked with him. I get him wanting to be loyal, and respect that, but.....having a one time conversation about his silence could end it, and give me some closer.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Guilty about feeling attraction... What fucking strange world we live in. Just because you have a wife is no excuse to ignore all other members of the opposite sex like they are nobodies. Ostracizing people is not a good quality...

Imo, she doesn't need to back off, she needs to confront him about his cowardice
I have confronted him, he remains silent which is worse than telling me to Foff.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I always find the wordy side of ENFPs on the confusing side.

needless to say, we are not always direct. If there is an issue with ramifications we may not approach the situation head-on. Obviously marriage plays a part. There obviously is attraction at play. That attraction is playing out on your side by your need to understand.
What do you mean by the wordy side of an ENFP, confused .
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
At least for me personally this could indeed be difficult to say. I suspect it's because of the Fe relatively high in the ENTP function stack => highly reluctant to disappoint others.
Why difficult, i mean if it is said without emotion behind it, what is so difficult about it. My Fi is private for the most part, so it should be me who has issues getting the message across without crossing emotional boundaries. You ENTP confuse the poop out of me .
 
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