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Hello INFPs,

It's been a while since last I spoke with you, but a recent self introspection has led me to poll you for your experience and input. All personality tests I have taken have consistently placed me as an INFP. However, I poses a strong T in my personality. That's ok, as well. We are not perfectly identified with our categorical placement, it is merely a guideline, a framework in which you might fit. I'm comfortable saying that I'm a dominant "F", however, because whenever I allow the "T" to make a decision in my life, I become miserable. Reverting to the "F" always results in me being more content and happy, even if I know it wasn't the logically optimal solution.

But, this brings me to the point of this thread and the reason I bring the topic to you. I've always wanted to be an INTP, the scientist, the engineer. After repeated attempts to be a scientist, to be an engineer, I have come away feeling depressed, listless, uninspired, trapped. Yet, over and over through my life, I try to be an INTP, and here is why:

Partially, I'm very intrigued and interested in the sciences and engineering. Mostly, however, I feel like INTPs are superior. I feel like they are more socially respected. I feel like they earn higher wages. I feel like they have the power to have a greater impact on the world. I feel like they are a more likely stable father and husband. I feel like they can make decisions easier, dealing with cold facts and calculating, without the variability of emotions complicating the answer. I feel like they don't deal with indecision and wavering. They are decisive and certain. I look at them and want to be like that.

I know it's folly to compare personality types. None is cosmically better than another. But that doesn't mean that the other types don't hold some benefits in certain ways.

I don't really want to be an INTP, really. I like emotion, I like my connection with people, I like my motive to make my life and work meaningful and purposeful, I like my creativity and inclination to art. In truth, I like being an INFP. Yet, I also feel like those attributes are undervalued, and I long to be looked up to and held in esteem, at least worthy of consideration by society.

Do you ever look up to other personality types and wonder about how your life would be different if only you could be ... one of them? How do you reconcile the fact that you are who you are, despite your desire to be someone else? How do you recognize your own value, despite your perspective that others are superior?
 

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Why would you want to be any other type if this type is who you are? I don't get it.

But, this brings me to the point of this thread and the reason I bring the topic to you. I've always wanted to be an INTP, the scientist, the engineer. After repeated attempts to be a scientist, to be an engineer, I have come away feeling depressed, listless, uninspired, trapped. Yet, over and over through my life, I try to be an INTP, and here is why:

Partially, I'm very intrigued and interested in the sciences and engineering. Mostly, however, I feel like INTPs are superior. I feel like they are more socially respected. I feel like they earn higher wages. I feel like they have the power to have a greater impact on the world. I feel like they are a more likely stable father and husband. I feel like they can make decisions easier, dealing with cold facts and calculating, without the variability of emotions complicating the answer. I feel like they don't deal with indecision and wavering. They are decisive and certain. I look at them and want to be like that.
Would social respect equal happiness for you if it meant becoming someone else?

Stability in family units have little to do with type, and more to do with individual plus values.

Also, even if someone could deal with cold facts, happiness would still be little if there was lack of empathy.

I know it's folly to compare personality types. None is cosmically better than another. But that doesn't mean that the other types don't hold some benefits in certain ways.

I don't really want to be an INTP, really. I like emotion, I like my connection with people, I like my motive to make my life and work meaningful and purposeful, I like my creativity and inclination to art. In truth, I like being an INFP. Yet, I also feel like those attributes are undervalued, and I long to be looked up to and held in esteem, at least worthy of consideration by society.
There you go.

If you feel like those attributes are undervalued, then bring more attention to them fairly not arrogantly though just to be clear. Inspire more people. Prove to them why your qualities matter.

If you want society to change and be more appreciative of qualities that matter, plan and try to ''really see'' how you can prove to them that society should change.
 

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I believe I am the type I am because at some point I wanted to be it. But maybe I just got lucky? Or maybe I mistyped myself that way, because of an unseen bias (not likely!)?

I am jealous of certain other types, because of certain things they do well. But when I look into them more or am around them for a while, I start to see the flaws as well. I always decide that I'd rather have my set of strengths and weaknesses instead. I'm happy with my type, and wouldn't want to change it. That said, there are often times I have a sort of feeling of being unworthy. It is odd.

I think it's not the type that matters, it's the individual's development. In games I've always restarted over and over and over, being unhappy with my characters and trying to switch to something better. But in the end, any high level character beats any low level character. You just have to stick with it. This is a fine type, a great one actually. It just happens to have some unwieldy weaknesses...

I don't want to be anyone else, I just want to be stronger.
 

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Our traits aren't valued in western society. I guess the best option would be to stop being an INTP because that's a false front and play up the INFP persona to make that impact. I think INFPs who play up the traits in terms of being that deep philosophical author or introspective artist end up at least being known for who they are and maybe even being attractive because of it.
 

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Hello INFPs,

It's been a while since last I spoke with you, but a recent self introspection has led me to poll you for your experience and input. All personality tests I have taken have consistently placed me as an INFP. However, I poses a strong T in my personality. That's ok, as well. We are not perfectly identified with our categorical placement, it is merely a guideline, a framework in which you might fit. I'm comfortable saying that I'm a dominant "F", however, because whenever I allow the "T" to make a decision in my life, I become miserable. Reverting to the "F" always results in me being more content and happy, even if I know it wasn't the logically optimal solution.

But, this brings me to the point of this thread and the reason I bring the topic to you. I've always wanted to be an INTP, the scientist, the engineer. After repeated attempts to be a scientist, to be an engineer, I have come away feeling depressed, listless, uninspired, trapped. Yet, over and over through my life, I try to be an INTP, and here is why:

Partially, I'm very intrigued and interested in the sciences and engineering. Mostly, however, I feel like INTPs are superior. I feel like they are more socially respected. I feel like they earn higher wages. I feel like they have the power to have a greater impact on the world. I feel like they are a more likely stable father and husband. I feel like they can make decisions easier, dealing with cold facts and calculating, without the variability of emotions complicating the answer. I feel like they don't deal with indecision and wavering. They are decisive and certain. I look at them and want to be like that.

I know it's folly to compare personality types. None is cosmically better than another. But that doesn't mean that the other types don't hold some benefits in certain ways.

I don't really want to be an INTP, really. I like emotion, I like my connection with people, I like my motive to make my life and work meaningful and purposeful, I like my creativity and inclination to art. In truth, I like being an INFP. Yet, I also feel like those attributes are undervalued, and I long to be looked up to and held in esteem, at least worthy of consideration by society.

Do you ever look up to other personality types and wonder about how your life would be different if only you could be ... one of them? How do you reconcile the fact that you are who you are, despite your desire to be someone else? How do you recognize your own value, despite your perspective that others are superior?
I feel so bad for you. I wish you had more confidence in yourself as an INFP. Like you said, no one is superior; we're all equal.

I know it can be frustrating to feel out of place in the world but that doesn't make other people better than you or that their ways are superior. You keep talking about your F not leading you to the optimal solution, but I have a very strong conviction that our feelings do lead us to the right thing even if it may not be 'right' for many other people. I used to get frustrated in a similar way feeling trapped, depressed, and uninspired with my life because how I was didn't fit in with the rest of the world (and often, what they thought I should do). Then I started not caring what other people thought, found people who were like-minded, and trusted that my "inner compass" was always correct. It has been totally liberating (in fact I would say it was completely life changing) and I no longer feel bad about some of the weaknesses I have in comparison to the rest of the world, because I know they don't have my strengths and in the end it all balances out.

It is weird because in your second paragraph you say how you've always wanted to be an INTP, and then 3 paragraphs down you say you don't want to be one. I think the good thing about you being an INFP is you will come to find creative solutions to embrace the T side of you. I think my T is rather well developed so I like to find ways to exercise this part of my brain too.

I like science and engineering too :happy: I'm good at figuring things out and I am innately good with computers. When I went to college for comp sci I hated it though. I felt totally out of place. Since then I've just found ways to use my computer to further my creative aspirations rather than my technical ones, so I get the best of both worlds. I think this can apply to anything engineering wise. Someone with the same kind of personality type who likes cars might realize they aren't fit to be a mechanic; instead focusing just on customizing the cars creatively might be the happy medium for them.

I recognize my own value because I think everyone has a role and life to fill. Figuring it out isn't always the easiest but when you are in harmony with what you believe to be your true path, the other stuff just doesn't matter any longer :happy:
 

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I must admit that there have been times I thought it would be easier to be another type. It would be fascinating to be an INTP, or maybe I want to be able to tap into the insight of an INFJ, or to have the social capabilities of an ENFP, or to just feel like I could belong in this world as an ESTP or whatever.

Every time I start to think like that, it has very little to do with truly wanting to be another personality type so much as the desire to be able to function like they do in this world. Whether it's because I want to be more logical, more understanding, more sociable, more easily understood, or to be "good" with certain tools or jobs that are considered the bread and butter of the other types. There are certain traits they possess that I would like to be able to grasp or emulate in such a way that they became my own. I am then able to utilize those concepts and apply them to my life and my way of thinking and being without disregarding who /I/ am at my core. I will always be an INFP, but I have the capability to be a whole hell of a lot more if I put my mind to it.

What I realized though is that each types strengths and weaknesses cannot be picked and chosen. If I gain the insight of an INFJ, that ability to intrinsically know things without doubting their validity, I would also gain the weakness of being less flexible and unable to enjoy the more spontaneous adventures that make me happy. If I were to gain the INTPs ability to coldly reason through everything in my life, I would also lose the ability to be able to see the entire emotional picture as well, which means my decisions, while logical, may not always be the best decisions for me or mine. As a matter of fact, they will often be so out of character that I wouldn't be able to maintain that logical decision long because every other part of me would be fighting against something that was so false to who I am.

What I have found beneficial is to take a step back from various situations and try to see them from those various other points of view. I may not have a firm grasp on how other types are able to think/act or whatnot, but I have a good enough idea to get a general picture in my head. While it means that I may not be great at certain tasks, I am proficient. I may not be able to think in a certain way, but I may be able to translate my thoughts in such a way that it sounds like I am thinking in that way. It's not being a chameleon or wanting to change, but wanting to grow and understand myself and my world a little better.

I hope you're able to find some advice in here that will help you to feel better about who you are and why it is that you are having this, for lack of a better term, identity crisis. There are few things as frustrating as trying to discover what you really want in life and how you're going to go about it. Observe yourself, discover what makes you happy, how you can attain it, and how you can do so in a way that is genuine to you.

If you happen to find anything particularly useful, please share as well, I'm sure we could all use a little help in trying to figure out how to function better in this world.
 

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all the type have something to offer, including INFPs, the gifts we have to offer society are no more or less valueable then any other type's
 

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I would very much like to be an ENFP. I tested as one about ten years ago (about 60% E), then after a bunch of awful things happened to me as a teenager I tested myself again, and I was a rather introverted INFP, and have been ever since. Being this introverted is kind of miserable. I don't understand the world, I don't understand why other people are so happy to talk to each other, including strangers; I just don't get it. I feel like I'm missing out on finding happiness, you know? Like there's something horribly wrong with me. Nobody else says anything, but I know they would be much happier with me and like me a lot better if I were more extroverted and better at communicating... There's so much on the inside that I want to do and say but I just can't, and I feel like I am trapped inside myself.

If my Fi hadn't taken over I would probably be a very different person. At the same time, I'm kind of afraid of losing Fi-dominance because those values have become so important to me. But I've lately kind of come to feel that I'm holding onto them as some sort of crutch, using them to justify my apprehension to change and growth. I really don't know what the truth is here, or what I should do to better develop myself into a happier, healthier person.

Of course I could just naturally be an INFP, and there's nothing wrong with being an INFP, I tend to think we're the few who actually understand what's important in life. I just worry that I might be repressing aspects of my personality or something, because I first tested as ENFP, and I'm fairly certain the description fit at the time.
 

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I get this problem, or at least the T/F one. Can't say I look up to other types simply because they're that type. Do you know any INTPs? They're worse procrasinators than INFPs!

The days I don't focus on my T function, which is Te, I feel a lot better about myself and the world. The days I do, I don't feel as happy or calm. You're right, INFP functions are undervalued, but they're also incredibly important. Imagine if there were no INFPs around... what kind of world would that be? Maybe a little less hopeful with fewer random acts of kindness? The world needs us, just as it needs ESTJs and ENTPs and INFJs and all of the 16 types. One isn't better than than another, they just have different strengths. Ours is helping people; INTP strengths deal with analytical pursuits.

By the way, if you like science, maybe you could look into a more people-oriented field. Doctor, nurse, pharmacist, lab tech? For computers, you could go into assisstive technology, either how to develop it or how to fit someone with the right stuff. Occupational therapists do that sort of thing.
 

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I definitely resonate with a lot of the feelings the OP mentioned, and some of the replies so far. I wish I could be more extroverted, more logical, more decisive, and I think I wish I could have all these traits because I don't like myself for who I am. Over the last two years the emotions and feelings have been predominantly negative due to insecurity, the loss of close friends and s/o's, and being far from my family and home. I'm studying engineering and like others have said, I feel like I just don't click with any of the people around me, and while I've done well in school it seems to have come at the expense of my happiness, and hasn't gotten me much closer to finding something to do with my life.

I guess in the end it comes down to what izzie said, that we just need to find ways to use our strengths to our advantage so that we can feel appreciated for them. Unfortunately, I'm at a loss as to how to do so. It feels like I'm swimming in a pool full of TJ's, people who know what they want and how to go about it, whose mindsets are just so different from mine. As an engineering student it doesn't seem like my qualities are appreciated in any of the careers I might pursue. It feels like I'm just drifting in the ocean...
 

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Hello INFPs,

It's been a while since last I spoke with you, but a recent self introspection has led me to poll you for your experience and input. All personality tests I have taken have consistently placed me as an INFP. However, I poses a strong T in my personality. That's ok, as well. We are not perfectly identified with our categorical placement, it is merely a guideline, a framework in which you might fit. I'm comfortable saying that I'm a dominant "F", however, because whenever I allow the "T" to make a decision in my life, I become miserable. Reverting to the "F" always results in me being more content and happy, even if I know it wasn't the logically optimal solution.

But, this brings me to the point of this thread and the reason I bring the topic to you. I've always wanted to be an INTP, the scientist, the engineer. After repeated attempts to be a scientist, to be an engineer, I have come away feeling depressed, listless, uninspired, trapped. Yet, over and over through my life, I try to be an INTP, and here is why:

Partially, I'm very intrigued and interested in the sciences and engineering. Mostly, however, I feel like INTPs are superior. I feel like they are more socially respected. I feel like they earn higher wages. I feel like they have the power to have a greater impact on the world. I feel like they are a more likely stable father and husband. I feel like they can make decisions easier, dealing with cold facts and calculating, without the variability of emotions complicating the answer. I feel like they don't deal with indecision and wavering. They are decisive and certain. I look at them and want to be like that.

I know it's folly to compare personality types. None is cosmically better than another. But that doesn't mean that the other types don't hold some benefits in certain ways.

I don't really want to be an INTP, really. I like emotion, I like my connection with people, I like my motive to make my life and work meaningful and purposeful, I like my creativity and inclination to art. In truth, I like being an INFP. Yet, I also feel like those attributes are undervalued, and I long to be looked up to and held in esteem, at least worthy of consideration by society.

Do you ever look up to other personality types and wonder about how your life would be different if only you could be ... one of them? How do you reconcile the fact that you are who you are, despite your desire to be someone else? How do you recognize your own value, despite your perspective that others are superior?
I think the esteem you gain will be determined by you as an individual rather than by your personality type. Being INTP doesn't automatically make that you are good at maths or logic. As with any personality type, intelligence levels vary, so there would be many INTP's who find engineering difficult. Also, Isabel Briggs Myers was an INFP and she helped create this whole personality classification system. So I think it would be wrong for people to think that a classification system created by an INFP indicates that INFP's aren't talented or capable people.
 
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Every type has its envies. Some INTPs want to be INTJs so they can stop procrastinating and get things done. Some INTP girls want to be INFPs because thought is regarded as a masculine trait.

Mostly, however, I feel like INTPs are superior. I feel like they are more socially respected. I feel like they earn higher wages. I feel like they have the power to have a greater impact on the world. I feel like they are a more likely stable father and husband. I feel like they can make decisions easier, dealing with cold facts and calculating, without the variability of emotions complicating the answer. I feel like they don't deal with indecision and wavering. They are decisive and certain. I look at them and want to be like that.
I don't think any of this is true, except the part about dealing with cold facts without emotions getting in the way.
We may have the capability to impact the world, as does everyone, but we never will because we're too busy sitting and thinking. We are not decisive and we probably don't earn higher wages because a lot of times we're too reserved and inward thinking to make our strengths apparent to people in positions of power. As far as stability goes in terms of being a husband and father, I, (even as an INTP) value love much more.

You'll never be happy until you like who you are- it's something you can't change, so you have to embrace it.
 

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Hello INFPs,

It's been a while since last I spoke with you, but a recent self introspection has led me to poll you for your experience and input. All personality tests I have taken have consistently placed me as an INFP. However, I poses a strong T in my personality. That's ok, as well. We are not perfectly identified with our categorical placement, it is merely a guideline, a framework in which you might fit. I'm comfortable saying that I'm a dominant "F", however, because whenever I allow the "T" to make a decision in my life, I become miserable. Reverting to the "F" always results in me being more content and happy, even if I know it wasn't the logically optimal solution.

But, this brings me to the point of this thread and the reason I bring the topic to you. I've always wanted to be an INTP, the scientist, the engineer. After repeated attempts to be a scientist, to be an engineer, I have come away feeling depressed, listless, uninspired, trapped. Yet, over and over through my life, I try to be an INTP, and here is why:

Partially, I'm very intrigued and interested in the sciences and engineering. Mostly, however, I feel like INTPs are superior. I feel like they are more socially respected. I feel like they earn higher wages. I feel like they have the power to have a greater impact on the world. I feel like they are a more likely stable father and husband. I feel like they can make decisions easier, dealing with cold facts and calculating, without the variability of emotions complicating the answer. I feel like they don't deal with indecision and wavering. They are decisive and certain. I look at them and want to be like that.

I know it's folly to compare personality types. None is cosmically better than another. But that doesn't mean that the other types don't hold some benefits in certain ways.

I don't really want to be an INTP, really. I like emotion, I like my connection with people, I like my motive to make my life and work meaningful and purposeful, I like my creativity and inclination to art. In truth, I like being an INFP. Yet, I also feel like those attributes are undervalued, and I long to be looked up to and held in esteem, at least worthy of consideration by society.

Do you ever look up to other personality types and wonder about how your life would be different if only you could be ... one of them? How do you reconcile the fact that you are who you are, despite your desire to be someone else? How do you recognize your own value, despite your perspective that others are superior?
A life with Ti as your dominant function may not be as "easy" as you may think it is.

Why do you think you are inferior? because you think your type makes it hard for you, and others' would be more suitable for efficient living? or because that type seems to replicate your ideal? there are no fundamentally wholly rational types out there. Ti-doms often have just as hard a time as you might. Introverted judgers are destined for a particular kind of life. For every successful intp able to meet the requirements of life, and flourishing in all the things you mentioned, there will probably be 5 others who don't.

There are multiple intelligences out there and things you are good at that aren't quantified. Functions aren't skill sets or abilities. They are ways of perceiving and judging. Each with their pitfalls, and where every person of that type comes about them in different ways, due to personal nuances, environment, life experiences etc. There is no need to idealise any type because there is a large discrepancy between people of each type. No one is exactly as theory explicates. Humans are imperfect. Humans are only as rational as the premises of their judgments.

Cognition is a splendid, diverse thing. Type is not something you can channel all your positive and negative traits into. So because "infp" is not the source of all your perceived inadequacies, being another type wouldn't automatically give you what you wanted, because how effective something (i.e. a function) is depends on how you use it, not specifically what it is. Work with what you have. I bet you'll find you have plenty.

If you looked at yourself with more balance, I bet you'd see that you yourself, have plenty of things to offer the world, just as relevant as are your short comings (which we all have). It's ok :)
 

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Do you ever look up to other personality types and wonder about how your life would be different if only you could be ... one of them?

I've never thought of it as looking up to a type, but there are traits associated with other types I admire. I suppose I'd like to be more outwardly zany like an ENFP, less emotionally awkward & more easily expressive like an ENFJ, more focused like an INFJ, more in-the-moment & fun like an ESxP, more warm & nurturing like an ISFJ, etc.

I've actually always wanted to be more emotionally expressive. I admire emotional people; it takes strength to be that vulnerable, IMO.

How do you reconcile the fact that you are who you are, despite your desire to be someone else?

I've never really wanted to be someone else. I've only ever wanted to be a better version of myself, the "me" I imagine, and to be appreciated for who I am.

How do you recognize your own value, despite your perspective that others are superior?

I don't compare myself in that way; or I try not to. I try and recognize that just because my strengths are different does not make them inferior. I find when I embrace these, then I move closer to being who I want to be, and am also more liked/appreciated by others.
 

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I respect and sometimes envy the INTJs for their frequently ambitious intellects that combines with a pleasing eccentricity.

I admire the ENFJs for how well they are able to socialize with and care for others so naturally. It's in my heart to do so, I just struggle to.

The quiet reliability and diligence of the ISTJ earns my respect, but also makes me feel uneasy, because I realize how short I fall of the bar many of them set.

But I am GLAD I am an INFP, because I love all of the possibilities being an INFP affords. I guess what I described above was a desire to be me, but with determination and follow-through in my intellectual goals, more ability to connect with others in a selfless way, and to be a responsible individual in all undertakings. I don't need to envy others for having those abilities, I can grow and harvest these things for myself!
 

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I must say I admire ESTJ's. I can't decide whether they're geniuses or idiots. It's like they have no qualms about what anyone thinks of them, they're just themselves whenever and wherever, and I mean that in a good way. I wish I could be like that.
 
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