Personality Cafe banner

1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
350 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Usually when I get to like somebody I get so completely taken in by them that I forget about myself, my needs and my whole person. I cant stand up for myself anymore, its like my mind is attached to "theirs".. Its so annoying, its like I'm losing myself and my strength, my inner power and my whole mind seems to turn blank.

Yes and this is usually the point when a looming relationship already stops :/
(sorry for my english, Im german..)
Do you experience this?
What do you do to keep your mind seperated from that person you like so much?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,660 Posts
First, your English is fine! No need to apologize there.

I know what you mean. Only a couple times in my life have I felt like I have truly been myself in a relationship, or in pursuit of one. The times that I can remember feeling like I was able to be accepted as being me were with people that gave me a sense of a deeper connection, and it was after a period of an enforced solitary life in order to reflect upon past experiences and focus on what I felt I wanted from life.

Sometimes I wonder if it's me being afraid that being me is not good enough or too much, or if I take on the interests and needs of another person because I always find new things exciting and curious. I know that my drive to accomplish something is much greater if I am doing it with someone in mind, while I'm content to dream away my days more often than not if I am left to my own devices.

Often, to ease the fact that my mind is fixated on someone or something, I will write about it if I can do nothing else. Friends can get a little tired of hear me ramble, so I try to limit how much I vent to them. Eventually, if nothing builds in the relationship department, the passion to write about it will fade and normal life resumes, but I have some creative thoughts on paper that I may be able to use.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
183 Posts
Our ability to obsess so much about someone gives us our ability to become such good observers and absorbers. This is also the reason why we connect very deeply. This sense of feeling of being totally absorbed by someone else arises generally when I'm living with that person. I sometimes curse myself realizing that I'd just woken up after months realizing I had done nothing nor spared a thought of where I was headed. In order to counter such a cycle I've made a point to learn how to center myself, by making myself first priority. Alone time helps a lot. No music or book, cuz they just take you to far away places. It's surprising how much power silence possesses. Just you and silence for a few days. It helps to re-align your head and get it in the right place. It's like a refresh button. Then you go back to your regular dream world and the people you care about. But whenever you feel you've gone too far from yourself, just resort to yourself and silence.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
350 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Thank you for your answers and opinions. Yes its true, sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are our first priority in our lives. Its crazy, sometimes when im so taken in by someone I dont even notice how far away from myself I've gotten, I usually start to realize that in my "alone-time" too and I see how wrong it was, and that I need to stay with myself in order to be happy. :)
Yea, yea us INFP's, Im glad to have a place to share those things, and actually people who understand some of that stuff, which makes me feel that those things are kind of normal and not totally random, which makes me happy :happy:
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top