Well I've learned that when it comes to relationships, each individual has a threshold for how much "word" tolerance they can accept before they engage in "time to bite ass" mode. They store those unsavory moments of hurt feelings to preserve the relationship at first, knowing that its a necessary sacrifice in order to get to know a person better. But once they have had enough, they can no longer tolerate those little moments of sarcasm and must defend themselves by fighting back. To the individual on the receiving end of this, its a great wtf blindsided moment. It's like the limit break from final fantasy 7 where your character takes small bits of damage over time to fill up the gauge and then unleashes their strongest attack. Lulzz
Lost in translation between communications of INTP and non-INTP's
For this thread, you are to share instances where what you had done or said was misinterpreted by another party.
As a result, causing a clusterfuck of misunderstanding because it was not your intent to come across as how you thought you presented yourself, but due to bad timing and feelings, other people may have taken what you had done or say in a different twisted route to negatively react towards you.
This isn't to say sarcasm wasn't uncalled for, however, if there are times where you thought something innocent was said and done but came back to bite you on the ass, which makes you go "wtf? what just happened?"... well, those kinds of instances.
I don't believe anyone likes to be blind sided... especially the INTP with their anti-emotional vigilance...
Am I making sense here?
So for example, we INTP's like to be left alone most of the time. When other people who are usually chipper goes into seclusion, he/she may have taken a page from our behavior and decides to shell up themselves. As our curious nature, we may ask "are you okay?" only to have a return snap reaction which we only expect coming from ourselves, it's a neat mirrored experience from the opposing end. And only to be left wondering "What did I do?" or "Was it something I said?"
This extends beyond relationships... this applies to friendship, work, family, acquaintances, strangers, etc.
As a result, causing a clusterfuck of misunderstanding because it was not your intent to come across as how you thought you presented yourself, but due to bad timing and feelings, other people may have taken what you had done or say in a different twisted route to negatively react towards you.
This isn't to say sarcasm wasn't uncalled for, however, if there are times where you thought something innocent was said and done but came back to bite you on the ass, which makes you go "wtf? what just happened?"... well, those kinds of instances.
I don't believe anyone likes to be blind sided... especially the INTP with their anti-emotional vigilance...
Am I making sense here?
So for example, we INTP's like to be left alone most of the time. When other people who are usually chipper goes into seclusion, he/she may have taken a page from our behavior and decides to shell up themselves. As our curious nature, we may ask "are you okay?" only to have a return snap reaction which we only expect coming from ourselves, it's a neat mirrored experience from the opposing end. And only to be left wondering "What did I do?" or "Was it something I said?"
This extends beyond relationships... this applies to friendship, work, family, acquaintances, strangers, etc.
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
I'm so good at this game I do it every day. It's like permanent winning for me, but I don't even try.
Unfortunately, the rest of the world thinks I'm losing.
A real example? Yesterday, I "argued" with my girlfriend because I didn't pick up dog treats in conjunction with the dog food. The treats are about twice the price at the pet store (as opposed to the local grocery chain), and we still had a few. My logic was flawless. Yet she called me out on it, and in attempt to have a logical discourse, I completely didn't realize that a) she was in a bad mood (and feeling depressed), b) she was right from her perspective, and c) my logic really didn't matter. (c) being the culmination of a) and b) truthfully).
So because I was casually (and with no ill intent) trying to show someone my logic, I ended up hurting their feelings and frustrating them. She interpreted me as "arguing" and being defensive.
But ya, happens every day so I'm accustomed to it.
Unfortunately, the rest of the world thinks I'm losing.
A real example? Yesterday, I "argued" with my girlfriend because I didn't pick up dog treats in conjunction with the dog food. The treats are about twice the price at the pet store (as opposed to the local grocery chain), and we still had a few. My logic was flawless. Yet she called me out on it, and in attempt to have a logical discourse, I completely didn't realize that a) she was in a bad mood (and feeling depressed), b) she was right from her perspective, and c) my logic really didn't matter. (c) being the culmination of a) and b) truthfully).
So because I was casually (and with no ill intent) trying to show someone my logic, I ended up hurting their feelings and frustrating them. She interpreted me as "arguing" and being defensive.
But ya, happens every day so I'm accustomed to it.
I just don't give a damn anymore.
Honestly, resolving conflicts where there aren't any to begin with isn't worth my time - resolve it yourself, on your own. I'm out drinking, or something.
Having fun regardless :mellow:
Honestly, resolving conflicts where there aren't any to begin with isn't worth my time - resolve it yourself, on your own. I'm out drinking, or something.
Having fun regardless :mellow:
We're bullshitters alright? Every time I say that I wanna do X thing, Js think I'm serious, wtf?
I do just say stuff for the sake of saying them or to get a laugh out of it, or to see other's reaction, but damn those Judgers take me seriously and they don't get the joke either.
And the good old one, feelers get offended with just about anything.
I do just say stuff for the sake of saying them or to get a laugh out of it, or to see other's reaction, but damn those Judgers take me seriously and they don't get the joke either.
And the good old one, feelers get offended with just about anything.
I pretty much can't explain anything to be understood
In my entire life, there was one night in particular that was nothing but bad communication.
I had drank a bottle of vodka with a friend and we drove to a friend's house (I was not driving). It was one of those nights where even though I was drunk, I felt sober, which leads to bad decisions. So I started talking about philosophy with my friend who is a philosophy major. But he didn't want to talk about philosophy with me because that's all he did in school. Instead he wanted to talk about going out and partying. He completely ignored me whenever I brought up the subject. And because I knew he was shutting me out deliberately, I had this strange urge to clarify my ideas to him even more, which led to resentment and hostility from him. He was essentially giving me the silent treatment. And the more I confronted him and wanted to clear up any hostility, the more he withdrew.
Then I left him and went to a night club with a friend. After I ordered a drink, my friend vanished so I stepped onto the back stage to see if I could find him in the crowd. Some bouncer stepped behind me and without speaking, tried to put me in a headlock. I spun around and punched him in the face. After that, the details were kind of fuzzy, but I remember him pushing me down on the ground, me standing up and grabbing his dread-locks and trying to rip them out in a clinch.
Eventually the bouncer called a friend of his over and they dragged me into a backroom where there were no cameras. It was a small and dimly lit hall. The bouncer pushed me down again. At this time, I began to sober up, especially because I saw a cop in the room watching. I was afraid that the cop would beat me if I tried to fight so I tried to speak rationally but the words came from my lips too aggressively for their liking. One of them punched me in the face and actually threw me out of the back door onto the concrete. My hands were bleeding and my face was sore but other than that, I felt fine. I was still in a rage when they shut the door. It turns out the next week one of the bouncers stabbed somebody and the place shut down.
I had drank a bottle of vodka with a friend and we drove to a friend's house (I was not driving). It was one of those nights where even though I was drunk, I felt sober, which leads to bad decisions. So I started talking about philosophy with my friend who is a philosophy major. But he didn't want to talk about philosophy with me because that's all he did in school. Instead he wanted to talk about going out and partying. He completely ignored me whenever I brought up the subject. And because I knew he was shutting me out deliberately, I had this strange urge to clarify my ideas to him even more, which led to resentment and hostility from him. He was essentially giving me the silent treatment. And the more I confronted him and wanted to clear up any hostility, the more he withdrew.
Then I left him and went to a night club with a friend. After I ordered a drink, my friend vanished so I stepped onto the back stage to see if I could find him in the crowd. Some bouncer stepped behind me and without speaking, tried to put me in a headlock. I spun around and punched him in the face. After that, the details were kind of fuzzy, but I remember him pushing me down on the ground, me standing up and grabbing his dread-locks and trying to rip them out in a clinch.
Eventually the bouncer called a friend of his over and they dragged me into a backroom where there were no cameras. It was a small and dimly lit hall. The bouncer pushed me down again. At this time, I began to sober up, especially because I saw a cop in the room watching. I was afraid that the cop would beat me if I tried to fight so I tried to speak rationally but the words came from my lips too aggressively for their liking. One of them punched me in the face and actually threw me out of the back door onto the concrete. My hands were bleeding and my face was sore but other than that, I felt fine. I was still in a rage when they shut the door. It turns out the next week one of the bouncers stabbed somebody and the place shut down.
I am having a problem with this regarding my ISTJ brother when we play video games. When I am having fun and in an excited state, I might call out "Yes, I'm awesome!" or whatever when I win. But then my brother gets so irritated by that and snaps at me for it, saying "If you don't stop with that, I won't play with you anymore." Which is totally WTF to me since he would tell me this once I have any enjoyment in a victory, acting as if I do it all the time. Come on... gaming isn't college football. Why can't there be a bit of celebration in a victory when I'm excited and being hyper? Winning comes with bragging rights, k. Besides, it's all in fun and games anyway :/ which is what I keep telling him but he is all "I don't like that attitude of yours." I'm playful when I'm happy. Why shoot me down for it and be so overly serious? He can be such a killjoy at times.
lt's either that or people pretending not to know you weren't serious, on the basis of having something to be offended by, ain't it?We're bullshitters alright? Every time I say that I wanna do X thing, Js think I'm serious, wtf?
I do just say stuff for the sake of saying them or to get a laugh out of it, or to see other's reaction, but damn those Judgers take me seriously and they don't get the joke either.
And the good old one, feelers get offended with just about anything.
l gauge this by how their humor applies elsewhere, if l am aware that they seem to comprehend sarcasm outside of an isolated interaction that went wrong.
ln these cases, l take the approach of interpreting everything they say extremely literally, until they regain their ability to comprehend abstract methods of communication.
Should they again lose this cognitive ability, we commence with another round of training. Or in some cases, go with my most preferred solution: stop speaking forever :crazy:
That happens all the time, I'd have to tell you about my whole life.
This is an interesting topic, because recently I had a chat with my father about this. He is an ESTP and can be rather... dense when it comes to emotional subtleties. This has caused a lot of frustration between us, due my natural tendency to put up an emotionally distant and cold front. Although I appear uncaring it does not actually mean I don't actually care. However many a times he simply assumes that since I put on no show of being bothered/stressed/caring he assumes I don't feel any of these things, and he would get frustrated at my nonchalance.
Our chat turned out quite fruitful and it brought a bit of an epiphany to me. I had always assumed that it was unneccesary to put on a display of love or caring towards someone, when I felt no lack of it in the first place. However, doing so simply means people do not feel it from you, which is the same as feeling none.
His brother, my uncle, often bought me expensive gifts ever since I was a young child. Expensive jewels, Tissot watches, and an iPad and an iPhone, despite not being particularly wealthy. I never wanted him to spend this amount of money on me and I didn't have much use for jewels or mechanical watches aside from storing them safely in a box. However, I appreciated it nonetheless and I was touched that he would think to do these things. I've never been very materialistic, and always thought that it was materialistic to butter people up with gifts... but when my father brought up the example it did show me that "showing" an emotion or affection is very different from simply feeling it. Sure, gifts are materialistic and such but the gesture of being willing to buy such expensive things did show a very obvious form of kindness, which is kindness nonetheless and more tangible as well.
And so I thought, perhaps the reason I am so constantly misunderstood is simply because I don't bother to show the signs of emotion that people always look for. Subtleties, as much as I love them, sometimes just end up as nothing. Sadly, as an introverted thinker, showing obvious forms of affection still feels rather uncomfortable. It's probably something we should work on...
Our chat turned out quite fruitful and it brought a bit of an epiphany to me. I had always assumed that it was unneccesary to put on a display of love or caring towards someone, when I felt no lack of it in the first place. However, doing so simply means people do not feel it from you, which is the same as feeling none.
His brother, my uncle, often bought me expensive gifts ever since I was a young child. Expensive jewels, Tissot watches, and an iPad and an iPhone, despite not being particularly wealthy. I never wanted him to spend this amount of money on me and I didn't have much use for jewels or mechanical watches aside from storing them safely in a box. However, I appreciated it nonetheless and I was touched that he would think to do these things. I've never been very materialistic, and always thought that it was materialistic to butter people up with gifts... but when my father brought up the example it did show me that "showing" an emotion or affection is very different from simply feeling it. Sure, gifts are materialistic and such but the gesture of being willing to buy such expensive things did show a very obvious form of kindness, which is kindness nonetheless and more tangible as well.
And so I thought, perhaps the reason I am so constantly misunderstood is simply because I don't bother to show the signs of emotion that people always look for. Subtleties, as much as I love them, sometimes just end up as nothing. Sadly, as an introverted thinker, showing obvious forms of affection still feels rather uncomfortable. It's probably something we should work on...
What?I pretty much can't explain anything to be understood
Many E types mistake my dislike for being in crowds or in public as a hate for people.
Many S types mistake my need to make everything more efficient with bitterness.
Many F types mistake my honesty for a personal attack on their character.
Many J types mistake my neutrality for being torn or fickle.
I don't get along with ESFJs in the slightest and they honestly scare me. I lived with one for 18 years. Was very frightening.
Many S types mistake my need to make everything more efficient with bitterness.
Many F types mistake my honesty for a personal attack on their character.
Many J types mistake my neutrality for being torn or fickle.
I don't get along with ESFJs in the slightest and they honestly scare me. I lived with one for 18 years. Was very frightening.
ESFJ's are not all frightening, although their ability to not think and just blurt out coherent messages is both odd and intriguing sometimes.
A typical situation in which I find myself while discussing matters that are not really the kind of things you can logically deal with can be as follows:
Last week my ESFJ wife declared that she really wanted to have a third child. She appealed to my suppressed feeling thing and asked me if I like the two children we already have. I do, and so I told her. Apparently, my answer made her 'think' that I would also be happy about having a third. Just recovering from a pretty serious depression and like many people living in a somewhat unstable financial situation, I really can't see any reason to be having a child again.
So, when my ratio had finally thought everything over I told her that she could have one of course (I like to please people), but not with me, because I don't see how I could stay calm. I was just being helpful, but somehow she almost bit my head off?
A typical situation in which I find myself while discussing matters that are not really the kind of things you can logically deal with can be as follows:
Last week my ESFJ wife declared that she really wanted to have a third child. She appealed to my suppressed feeling thing and asked me if I like the two children we already have. I do, and so I told her. Apparently, my answer made her 'think' that I would also be happy about having a third. Just recovering from a pretty serious depression and like many people living in a somewhat unstable financial situation, I really can't see any reason to be having a child again.
So, when my ratio had finally thought everything over I told her that she could have one of course (I like to please people), but not with me, because I don't see how I could stay calm. I was just being helpful, but somehow she almost bit my head off?
That proposal would not have gone over very well with me either, and I'm not an ESFJ.ESFJ's are not all frightening, although their ability to not think and just blurt out coherent messages is both odd and intriguing sometimes.
A typical situation in which I find myself while discussing matters that are not really the kind of things you can logically deal with can be as follows:
Last week my ESFJ wife declared that she really wanted to have a third child. She appealed to my suppressed feeling thing and asked me if I like the two children we already have. I do, and so I told her. Apparently, my answer made her 'think' that I would also be happy about having a third. Just recovering from a pretty serious depression and like many people living in a somewhat unstable financial situation, I really can't see any reason to be having a child again.
So, when my ratio had finally thought everything over I told her that she could have one of course (I like to please people), but not with me, because I don't see how I could stay calm. I was just being helpful, but somehow she almost bit my head off?
I have learned not to joke with INFJs about anything that concerns any group of people anywhere.
Such things must, in my experience, be taken seriously at all times. Lest we actually laugh at ourselves.
Such things must, in my experience, be taken seriously at all times. Lest we actually laugh at ourselves.
IT seemed logical at the time, though.
On another website I use, someone has made a thread about an attack that happened in Zanzibar recently. Some British girls had acid thrown on them by some locals. The whole thread descended into the usual anti-Muslim sentiment. So I put forward the suggestion that the (Sky News) article was quite deliberate, it's all about control, exacerbating the whole 'West is best' attitude of us first-worlders. From then on, the whole thread changed into them saying I was defending violence, supporting the fact that the women had acid chucked on them, and that I was no better than any other mob member. Which is not at all what I was trying to say.
I was just trying to give them a broader context to consider. :sad:
I was just trying to give them a broader context to consider. :sad:
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
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